wrestling / TV Reports

411’s NWA TNA Report 01.15.03

January 16, 2003 | Posted by Joe Somar

– Hey everyone, before I get going I just want to say that it warms my heart that I have actually gotten a dozen or so e-mails inquiring about the inactivity of the TNA Rewind in the last weeks. My official answer to that is that I’m working on a special edition of the column where I discuss why Vince Russo isn’t the monster that I, and the rest of the IWC, has decided he is. So stay tuned because it’s coming your way very soon. Until then, the Rewind is going to be on hiatus.

– We start it off with an interview with Vince Russo. Russo has absolutely no argument against him destroying WCW except that it takes more than nine months to sink a promotion that had been around for over 10 years. However, he sort of got overly defensive when confronted with the ratings numbers. Well, that’s going to make my column a little bit harder.

– Live from the TNA Asylum.

– Your hosts are Mike Tenay and Don West (decked out in blue this week).

– S.E.X. arrives and Russo has literally brought a soap box to stand on this week. Russo claries that S.E.X. isn’t the nWo, they’re educators for the masses. Percy Pringle comes out and wants to make peace with Russo because Pringle was a big part of the evolution of the sport. Russo calls Pringle a fatty and has S.E.X. take him apart. Jorge Estrada makes a very unsuccessful save for Pringle. XXX grab the tables and hit a sick powerbomb/double team top rope urinage on Estrada THROUGH a table. Man, that was pretty cool.

– The Amazing Red missed his plane so no X title match with Sonny Siaki this week.

– NWA Tag Team Title Match: America’s Most Wanted vs Divine Storm (w/ Trinity)
Last time these two met, Divine Storm actually won the match. James Storm starts it off against Chris Divine and it’s total non-stop action from the get go. Divine Storm get tossed to the outside and they’re met with a cross body block from James Storm. Trinity, who at this point is a better Lita (think Essa Rios era Lita though), interjects with a rana from the ring apron followed by an insane moonsault. Yeah, she has basically two spots but they’re awesome ones! Back in Quiet Storm and James Storm slug out for the use of the Storm name. AMW goes for the Death Sentence but a low blow from Trinity gets a near fall. That was actually the finish last time they fought so that’s some nice continuity there. Despite America’s Most Wanted and Trinity’s best efforts, this match just doesn’t click. I don’t think Divine Storm have any ring chemistry whatsoever with AMW. Finally, the Death Sentence puts this puppy to rest at 6:27. Yeah, er, that wasn’t so good. 1/2* AMW and Trinity still rock though.

– Nice little video package detailing the awesomeness that is A.J. Styles.

– A.J. Styles comes out and talks about how he’s a solo guy and he’s not down with Mortimer Plumtree or S.E.X. All he wants is the NWA World title. The Truth comes out and tells Styles the only way to get to the belt is through him. So…

– A.J. Styles vs Ron “The Truth” Killings
Truth starts it off with an armdrag that Styles sells like a bolt of lightning and we got ourselves a slugfest. Styles bails immediately and comes back in for some wrestling. Styles uses a Davey Boy Smith suplex on Killings followed by a reverse STF. Styles them misses with the discus clothesline and gets nailed with a side suplex by Killings. Killings heads to the top but gets crotched. Battle on the top rope and Killings pulls out an ABSOLUTELY SICK top rope falcon arrow. Mortimer Plumtree runs in and distracts the ref as David Flair comes in with a burlap sack and clubs Killings so Styles can get the pinfall at 8:45. ** Nice little match. The announcers wonder what’s in David Flair’s burlap sack. I bet it’s those beakers full of DNA from back when Buff Bagwell knocked up Stacey Keibler in WCW.

– Promo from Jeff Jarrett and L.O.D. They’re gonna be whoopin’ some butts tonight. Saying butt instead of ass is old school. Remember when wrestlers obviously wanted to say “ass” in their promos but had to stop themselves and say “butt” instead. That always made me laugh.

– A.J. Styles is still in the ring and claims he’s great. Larry Zbyszko comes out disagrees. He blabs about Larryland or some stupid crap and finally Styles does what I wish I could do and slaps Larry in the face. Pull apart by the officials and we have ourselves a match next week. Oh dear god. Why Larry Zbyszko?

– Mr. Wrestling IV arrives in a pick up truck. Oh jeez.

– April Hunter vs Desire (w/ Sonny Siaki)
I think TNA now officially has more women wrestlers than WWE. However, the talent level is on about the same level as we’re treated to a pretty weak-looking outing here. April Hunter looks way better in there than Desire, but that’s not saying much. Match ends when Desire hits a hurracanrana on Hunter for the pin at 2:57. DUD.

– ATHENA REPORT: Athena jumps Desire after the match only to get her clothes kind of sort of taken off. Basically Desire tries to pants Athena for about two minutes before they play some music and have Sonny Siaki give this whole mess the hook.

– The talking continues as Mike Sanders comes out to cut a promo. Well, I can’t really complain I like Mike Sanders promos. This one is just as good as always and we’re even treated to the return of “S.O.L.” until Jerry Lynn comes out. Lynn says to bring it on in the ring. So…

– Jerry Lynn vs Mike Sanders
Well, at least the talking leads into matches. I think that’s a very positive use of time. I mean, you can’t just go match, match, match. There’s no commercials to pace the show, so I actually really like the match, promo, match formula the show has taken on this week. Lynn wrecks his elbow during a pumphandle attempt and we get tons of heel tactics and restholds from Mike Sanders. Lynn hits a big DDT but the ref is yanked out by Heavy D (so is Big Ron fired or something? Because I could totally live with that). before he can count the three. Lynn then hits the sunset flip powerbomb as a second referee arrives and is yanked out by Heavy D. Finally, Dusty Rhodes arrives and lays a bionic elbow on Heavy D as Lynn grabs Sanders and hits the TKO (Tenay even calls it that) on Sanders for the pinfall at 7:51. **3/4 Really good match, but it had Jerry Lynn in it so it’d be pretty hard to screw up. That Jerry Lynn feller sure is a miracle worker in that ring.

– Dusty Rhodes cuts a promo about the tradition of wrestling and how it doesn’t involve a midget beating off into a trash can. It’s actually a really good and focused promo that lacked the overall rambling train of thought I was used to from Rhodes when he announced in WCW. Russo comes out and wants to make the main event of the show an eight-man tag with him teaming up with Low Ki, Elix Skipper, and Christopher Daniels against Jarrett, Dusty, and L.O.D. If S.E.X. wins, all the titles are on the line and Russo picks the challengers. Man, I bet Russo makes Siaki defend the X title against a midget.

– Jason Cross vs David Young
So before the match gets underway, Don West wonders if Russo’s team wins if Russo will make Sonny Siaki defend the X title against a midget. So basically that blew my mind so bad because I had just thought that two seconds earlier that I can hardly focus on the match in front of me. The announcers can’t either. But you know what? It’s because this match was like an X division match on slow motion minus the excitement. Cross misses the Crossfire and falls victim to David Young’s boring-ass spinebuster at 5:21. 1/4*. Yuck.

– Afterwards, Konnan emerges from the crowd with a kendo stick and lays an “I work here now” beating on Young and Cross to show he’s all business. I hope Konnan’s not going to be in the X division.

– X Title Match: Sonny Siaki (w/ Desire) vs Kid Kash (w/ Trinity)
Hey, it seems like they’re pushing Trinity. I’m a fan of that idea. Stereo dropkicks send the heels packing right away. Siaki takes control on the outside but Kash regains it. Kash goes for the Kashcanrana but Desire interferes and we get the Siakilypse and pinfall at 4:50. *1/2 This match was too short to really be anything but I can see potential in a possible program between these four.

– Eight-Man Tag: Low Ki, Christopher Daniels, Elix Skipper, & Vince Russo vs Jeff Jarrett, The Road Warriors, & Dusty Rhodes
Well last week I said this would be okay if they kept the old fellas like L.O.D. and Rhodes out of the ring but here they are in the main event along with Vince Russo and a trip to Larryland on tap for next week. Well, I’m not going to get down on this until I see it actually suck. Jarrett and Daniels start it off and we got some nice exchanges between Jarrett and members of XXX. Jarrett tags out to Animal and we proceed to see the Road Warriors sell nothing for the heel side for about five minutes. Tag back to Jeff, so the heels don’t look totally worthless and XXX takes control again. That Jeff Jarrett is such a company man, then again it’s sort of his company so he kind of has to do what’s best for it doesn’t he? If Triple H owned WWE and saw it bleeding money like it is, maybe he’d quit being such a piece of garbage. But I doubt it. Total chaos breaks loose and Rhodes hands out bionic elbows to everyone. Mr. Wrestling IV enters the fray and nails Animal with a chain so Elix Skipper can take the pinfall at 11:43. ** Decent enough because XXX and Jarrett can really go in there. They truly carried a match where 1/2 of the guys in the ring shouldn’t have been.

– Mr. Wrestling IV unmasks to reveal himself to be Nikita Koloff! Damn, I kind of marked out for that one myself.

– Well, I don’t know if Nikita Koloff can really add anything to this as a performer but seeing him sure got a nostalgia pop out of me. I’ll go and say this was another really good show with some of the best pacing I’ve seen from TNA thus far. However, the in-ring action wasn’t as hot as I had hoped for but I have faith in them. Overall, a fine show. Here’s hoping the matches are better next week. Let’s try and keep the older guys out of the ring too, okay?

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Joe Somar

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