wrestling / TV Reports

411’s TNA Impact Report 06.18.09

June 18, 2009 | Posted by Alexander Miezin

Welcome to tonight’s 411 TNA Impact Report! I appreciate the kind comments in the comment box las week. I am exhausted right now from weightlifting and it would be great if this episode of Impact is a good show. After the past couple of weeks of solid episodes, I’m hoping this one can continue the trend. TNA’s Slammiversary event is this Sunday and this will be the go home show!

Calling the action tonight as always are Mike Tenay and “Mr. Baseball Cards” Don West.

We get a recap of last week’s Jeff Jarrett and TNA World Heavyweight Champion Mick Foley‘s arguments and Kurt Angle‘s win over Sting to qualify for the King of the Mountain match.

Tonight’s episode is called. . “Welcome back Jeffrey….. Okay……..

TNA World Heavyweight Champion Mick Foley heads to the ring with Earl Hebner, his security, and a clown. Well this an odd start. The ring has streamers and confetti all over it with a big “Welcome Back Jeffrey” banner. This reminds me of the “It’s Your Life” segments. Earl Hebner has facial hair now and officially looks like a child molester. Foley invites TNA Legends Champion AJ Styles to the ring. He comes out. Foley invites out Samoa Joe next. Followed by Kurt Angle. Seems he’s inviting all of the King of the Mountain participants to the ring. Angle is very weary entering the ring with Joe staring him down. Foley says they are all in the ring to honor TNA Founder “Double J” Jeff Jarrett. Jarrett’s music hits and he comes out with a sarcastic smirk on his face. Foley hands the microphone over to Jarrett and Jarrett asking if Foley has lost his mind. Foley says he has one more trick. He counts up to two and says “Jeffrey” as confetti and streamers shoot all over the ring and the iMPACT Zone! Foley says they are there to celebrate Jarrett’s return to the ring. Kind of late if you ask me. Foley says tonight’s match is a “Can’t We All Get Along Match” with Samoa Joe and AJ Styles teaming up to take on Kurt Angle and Sting. What a blockbuster main event! Foley says “It’s not a tag match”, but it will be a three-way tag team match with the last team being Jeff Jarrett and Mick Foley! Oh man. Jarrett looks angered at Foley as he turns his back to him. Foley wants them all to put there hands together. Joe is the last to put his hand in, but instead punches Angle in the face. Foley’s security restrains Joe as we go to the back.

Jeremy Borash is with Raven, Daffney, and Dr. Stevie. Daffney says that Awesome Kong and Angelina Love are going to hell. Raven says that a Clockwork Orange House of Fun match is anything but fun. Raven says that him and Abyss have a lot in common. He says that there’s three ways to cure an addiction, you get clean, you go to jail, or you die. He says at Monster’s Ball, it will be their funeral. Quote the Raven . . . . Nevermore. Well at least he talked this week. We head to a commercial break.

LockDown is now available on DVD featuring Mick Foley vs. Sting for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship. Free t-shirt with the purchase of a DVD. Cool. I might pick that up.

A video recap of the Christopher Daniels and Shane Douglas feud is shown with Douglas wanting a second chance. Footage of him attacking Daniels and Styles in the past weeks is aired.

Match One: Daniels vs. Amazing Red

This should be a dandy. Two TNA X-Division Originals battling it out. I still don’t like Red’s new attire. Daniels starts off working over the left arm of Red. Red tries escaping, but is taken down. Armdrag by Amazing Red followed by a dropkick. Daniels rolls to the floor and Amazing Red jumps over the top rope and spins onto Daniels. They both head back to the ring. Kicks from Red connect. Red runs off the ropes, but is met with a clothesline by Daniels. Daniels puts a boot to Red’s face for a two count. He goes back to targeting the shoulder and neck of Amazing Red. Red battles back again with two kicks then a spin kick connecting. Another spinning back kick connects. Red goes to the top ropes and hits a Hurricanrana. Jumps off the middle rope and hits what looks like a jumping Paydirt for a two count! Crowd is pretty dead. Red jumps into Daniels’ arms and gets nailed with a Death Valley Driver. Best Moonsault Ever connects on Amazing Red and Daniels picks up the victory.

Winner: Daniels
Match Thoughts:*1/2. Very short, but had some good action. At least Red got SOME offense in.

Shane Douglas appears on the tron saying that Jarrett screwed up rehiring Daniels. Douglas accepts Daniels’ challenge at Slammiversary for Daniels’ roster spot. Douglas says he’s a legend and deserves that roster spot. He tells Daniels that he will be “Franchised”. Nice and old school type promo by the Franchise.

Lauren is with Taylor Wilde, Raisha Saeed and Awesome Kong. Wilde says she’s ready to be dragged through hell with Daffney. Kong actually talks, but I have no idea what she said. Ahmed Johnson did always have a speech problem. Commercial break numero dos!

We come back to Tenay and West with tonight’s card:

Clockwork Orange House of Fun: Raven vs. Jethro Holiday
Awesome Kong and Taylor Wilde vs. Daffney and Angelina Love
Three Way Tag Team Match Kurt Angle/Sting vs. Mick Foley/Jeff Jarrett vs. AJ Styles/Samoa Joe.

They rundown the two King of the Mountain matches at Slammiversary featuring the TNA World Heavyweight Championship and the X-Division Championship.

“The Blueprint” Matt Morgan is in the ring and calls out Sting. Morgan says he is not out to disrespect any old punks in the crowd. He then insults them. Greatness. Matt Morgan says that he graduated first in his class. Morgan says that Sting told him that he couldn’t join the Main Event Mafia because he hasn’t been a World Champion. Morgan says he’s never had the opportunity. Morgan tells Sting to start respecting himself and the Main Event Mafia. Morgan wants Sting to give him an opportunity to be a World Champion. He tells Sting to put his money where his mouth is. Morgan challenges Sting to a one-on-one match at Slammiversary. Matt Morgan says he’s better than Sting. Sting tells Morgan to stop pointing his finger at him or he will bite it off. Sting agrees to the match at Slammiversary only Sting will give Morgan his position in the Main Event Mafia if Matt Morgan can beat him at Slammiversary. Sting turns his back and Morgan charges, but Sting sends Morgan over the top rope and to the floor. Gnarly. Righteous. Groovy. Commercial break number three time. Tuesday……..AFTERNOOOOOON!!

A TNA Video Vault commercial is shown. If anyone has gotten it, let me know how it is.

Backstage were with Jeremy Borash and Jeff Jarrett. They both sit down on chairs as Borash has notes to ask Jarrett questions with. Very professional. Jarrett tells Borash that Foley has lost his mind. They talk about the tag match tonight and the King of the Mountain Match at Slammiversary in Detroit, Michigan. Jarrett gives Borash some smart answers. Jarrett says he has no idea whick Mick Foley will show up each week. Jarrett says that TNA World Heavyweight Championship is coming home to where it belongs.

Match Two:Clockwork Orange House of Fun Match: Raven vs. Jethro Holiday

Why couldn’t they have signed Lance Cade? Holiday seems lost by himself. Raven comes out with Dr. Stevie with him. Holiday charges with a garbage can and connects a couple of times with Raven’s head. Holiday boots Raven in the face. Holiday gets a cookie sheet and a garbage can lid from the chains. He hits Raven with the trashcan lid. He goes for the cookie sheet, but Stevie hits Holiday with the kendo stick. Raven’s takes him to the floor. Russian Legsweep into the guardrail. Raven his Holiday multiple times with the kendo stick. Monster’s Ball this weekend at Slammiversary with a mixed tag featuring Raven and Daffney vs. Abyss and Taylor Wilde. Raven gets a chair and throws it to the mat. Raven wants the DDT, but Holiday blocks and gets the chair. He throws punches to Raven and Raven sits into the chair. Holiday runs off the ropes and charges a big boot to Raven’s head. Holiday picks Raven up and throws him into the cage on the one side of the ring. Raven is kicked backwards into the cage again. Crowd begins to chant for Raven. Crowd is chanting a heel? Must mean Raven has Crossed the Line. Holiday goes for a crossbody block, but Raven ducks and the cage falls to the floor! Raven goes to the floor and pins Holiday on the floor. That’s it.

Winner: Raven
Match Thoughts: *3/4. Typical and short brawl. Reminded me of an old WWF Hardcore match. Good spot in the end though with Holiday going through the cage wall to the floor.

Daffney comes out with a straight jacket. Raven Evenflow DDT’s Holiday onto a chair in the ring and Stevie puts the straight jacket onto Jethro Holiday. Abyss’ music hits and he comes charging to the ring. Daffney, Raven, and Stevie all bail. Abyss points at them as they back up the ramp. Commercial number four hits.

We comeback with West’s interview earlier today with Samoa Joe. West asks if Joe is listening to someone. Joe says that he is being advised. He says that person advising him understands him more than he understands himself. West questions Joe and Styles’ friendship. Joe says that friends and brothers fight. Joe says when he goes to war that he forgets who his allies are. Joe lives and dies by what he does in the ring and says that the Main Event Mafia have politiced their way to where they are at today. He says they just came in and ravaged it. His target at Slammiversary is Kurt Angle. West says the TNA World Heavyweight Championship is secondary to Joe this weekend at Slammiversary.

They rundown the TNA Live show schedule including Slammiversary.

Up Next: The Beautiful People are on their way into the iMPACT Zone. Knockouts Tag Team Action. Oh great. ANOTHER commercial break.

Abyss is backstage with Lauren. Lauren asks if there’s anything he wants to say about the Monster’s Ball Match this weekend. Abyss says they can do whatever they want to him because he’s been through everything. He looks at his scars. His whole character is turning into Kane from 2003. Abyss says that they put their hands on his girlfriend, Lauren. Lauren is freaked out. Abyss makes Lauren show her bruised arm. She cries and Abyss says it makes him want to cry for Raven, Dr. Stevie, and Daffney. Pretty disturbing segment. Abyss is surprisingly getting very good on the microphone. Abyss says his mom told him to never hit girls. His mom told him it wasn’t right. Abyss says Daffney is not a girl. He says after Monster’s Ball, he’s coming to get Dr. Stevie. When he does, they won’t need a doctor, but they will need a mortician. I’m sold.

Match Three:Daffneyand TNA Knockouts Champion Angelina Love w/Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne vs. Taylor Wilde and Awesome Kong w/Raisha Saeed

Kong weighs in at 272 lbs. tonight. Wow. What a beast! Daffney does the splits and rolls into the ring during her entrance. Wilde and Love begin the contest. They slug it out. Boppin’ each other with rights and lefts. Wilde gets the arm and tags in Kong. Love tags in Daffney who hits Kong with forearms. Daffney charges into Kong and it does nothing. Kong shoves her bootycheeks into Daffney’s face after charging in. Kong tags in Wilde. Wilde covers and gets two. Daffney tags in Angelina Love who is smiling. They double chop Wilde and send her into the corner. Love charges in with a clothesline. Love covers and gets a solid two count. A right hand connects to Wilde. They both run off the ropes and hit a double facebuster. Both women are down. Love tags in Daffney and Wilde tags in Kong. Kong hits clotheslines on Daffney. Love tries to boot Kong in the face, but is shoved right off. Kong lifts Love up in the air with a chokehold. Hairspray goes into Saeed’s eyes on the floor. Implant Buster connects on Daffney in the ring for a three count and that’s all she wrote.

Winners: Awesome Kong and Taylor Wilde
Match Thoughts: *1/4. It was just there. Nothing really too interesting besides the staredown between Tara and Kong and Wilde.

Velvet Sky comes in and attacks Kong. The Beautiful People are gang attacking Kong. They drop-toehold Kong face first into a chair. They all pound away. Tara runs out and clears the ring. Love escapes through the bottom rope and grabs her title belt. They have another staredown. Kong looks at Tara and they stare for a bit. Love poses with the title walking up the ramp.

Borash is backstage with Team 3D. He says that Team 3D has to go to Osaka, Japan to defend the IWGP Tag Team Championship against Giant Bernard and Karl Anderson then the next day they have to defend the TNA Tag Team Championship against Beer Money Inc.. Borash asks where the respect went between both teams. A bunch of “Want to know why?”‘s are exchanged. Eventually Brother Ray tells Brother Devon to answer the question and he replies with an “Oh my brother, TESTIFY!”. Solid responses as usual. We head to Commercial Break Street next.

Another TNA Video Vault commercial airs. I’m still interested.

Oh great more Cody Deaner and ODB footage is shown with him improving from last week. These two are really getting on my nerves. He does catch a duck though. ODB tells him he’s ready.

So Cal Val is backstage with the Motor City Machine Guns and Lethal Consequences. They have an eight-man tag match tonight against Team 3D and Beer Money Inc. So Cal Val tells Jay Lethal to put some underwear on. Lethal keeps interrupting her. Shelley tries to say that one of the MCMG will win the X-Division title at the King of the Mountain Match. Sabin tells Lethal to shup up and kiss Val. That was great. Runner-up for best one liner of the year. First is obviously the Scott Steiner “He’s Fat!” line. Another commercial follows.

So Cal Val is with Beer Money Inc. backstage. James Storm has a beer as usual. So Cal Val wants an explanation for what happened last week. Team 3D comes up to them and says they want an explanation. James Storm says they just won $100,000 and says the exact amount of beer that can be purchased with the money. Nice math skills. Brother Devon says they are very lucky and to consider it an early Christmas Present. The two teams begin brawling backstage. They end up in the parking lot.

Match Four:Lethal Consequences (Jay Lethal and Consequences Creed) and IWGP Jr. Tag Team Champions The Motor City Machine Guns (Chris Sabin and Alex Shelley) vs. TNA Tag Team Champions Team 3D (Brother Ray and Brother Devon) and Beer Money Inc. (James Storm and Robert Roode)

When Team 3D’s music hits, them and Beer Money appear on the ramp brawling. Curtis Granderson will be the Ring Announcer for the X-Division King of the Mountain Match as well. Lethal Consequences go flying over the top ropes onto Beer Money Inc. Suicide comes through the crowd in the ring and takes out Shelley. The bell sounds finally. Modified 3D to Creed. Backdrop to Lethal. 3D to Shelley for a three count. Wow. I’m very disappointed.

Winners: Team 3D and Beer Money Inc.
Match Thoughts:No Rating. Wasn’t really a match. They brawled before the bell sounded. That match had boatloads of potential. I’m just disappointed that it wasn’t really a match. The feuds progressed very well though. I guess that’s all that matters for the go home show.

So Cal Val is backstage with Samoa Joe and TNA Legends Champion AJ Styles. Styles says as long as he has Joe watching his back, he’s fine. And Daniels as well. Joe says that Styles isn’t right. He says that Styles is hurt, but he has his back. We head to commercial.

TNA Video Vault commercial airs for the third time tonight.

Jeremy Borash is backstage with Mick Foley. Borash says that their Twitter pages are the hottest things going on the internet. Really now? Borash wnats to give Foley a picture of them as cartoons and wants Foley to hang it up in his office. Foley says no. They should just kiss already. Kip James walks in as Foley’s Maintenance worker. Perfect job for him. Kip then takes the picture from Borash and hangs it up. Kip brings out the tape measure and hangs it up perfectly.

Tenay and West go over the TNA Slammiversary card for this Sunday:

For Daniels’ Roster Spot:Daniels vs. Shane Douglas
Monster’s Ball::Raven and Daffney vs. Abyss and Taylor Wilde
TNA Knockouts Championship Match: Angelina Love(c) vs. Tara
King of the Mountain Match for the TNA X-Division Championship: Suicide(c) vs. Alex Shelley vs. Chris Sabin vs. Consequences Creed vs. Jay Lethal
TNA Tag Team Championship Match: Team 3D(c) vs. Beer Money Inc.
If Morgan wins, he is in the Main Event Mafia: Matt Morgan vs. Sting
King of the Mountain Match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Mick Foley(c) vs. Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Jarrett vs. Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles

Borash is with Kurt Angle in the Main Event Mafia dressing room. He inquires about Sting and Angle’s relationship. Angle says his life has been less stressful since losing his spot as Main Event Mafia Godfather. Angle says he’s all calm and cool. Angle guarantees that Kevin Nash, Scott Steiner, and Booker T. will be in Detroit at Slammiversary. Angle declares that he will be TNA World Heavyweight Champion after the King of the Mountain Match and the Mafia will celebrate.

Match Five:Three-Way Tag Team Match: Samoa Joe and TNA Legends Champion AJ Styles vs. Sting and Kurt Angle vs. TNA World Heavyweight Champion Mick Foley and Jeff Jarrett

This should be a dandy. EL DANDY! This match is loaded with All-Stars. Match starts with only about ten minutes left in the show so this match should be a short one. Foley and Sting start the match. They lock-up. Sting takes Foley into the corner, but Foley punches Sting in the face. They circle again. Tie-up and Foley backs Sting into the corner. Sting clobbers Foley with punches and a Facebuster into the mat. Sting works on the left arm. He tags in Angle. Angle and Foley are about to lock it up. Angle puts Foley in a Hammerlock. Foley reverses and now targets Angle’s arm. Foley tags in Jarrett. Jarrett rings Angle’s arm multiple times. Jarrett tags back in Foley. Foley throws punches and connects with Angle’s head. Foley misses with a knee and Angle kicks Foley in the knee twice. Angle is now attacking the knee with stomps. Jarrett tries getting the crowd into it. Fails. Joe and Styles punch Angle in the face. Angle turns into a clothesline by Foley. Foley tags Jarrett who comes in and hits two clotheslines on Angle. Jarrett tries for the Stroke, but it’s reversed into the Anklelock. Foley goes to the commentator’s table and starts commentating. Lazy bum. Sting catches Jarrett with a knee and Angle hits an overhead belly-to-belly suplex as we head to commercial with six minutes left in the show. What the heck?

We’re back with Angle and Jarrett still going at it. Jarrett rolls up Angle, but Angle rolls him into the Anklelock. Jarrett is reaching for a tag, but Foley is still at the commentator’s table. Jarrett kicks Angle off. Jarrett keeps crawling as Foley gets to the apron, but it’s too late. Jarrett tags in Joe. Joe clotheslines Angle and Sting. Joe powerbombs Angle onto Sting. Jarrett rolls to the floor and punches Foley in the face! Jarrett hits the two security guards. Jarrett then hits Foley in the face with a chair! Solid. Joe kicks Angle in the head and Muscle Buster’s him. Joe pins Angle! Joe promised the injured Styles’ that he would have his back and he did.

Winners: Samoa Joe and AJ Styles
Match Thoughts: **. Decent match for what was shown. The commercial really destroyed this match though.

Replays air of the action throughout the match. Joe is yelling at Angle in the center of the ring as Foley smiles and rocks back and forth with the TNA World Heavyweight Championship belt.

Final Thoughts: It wasn’t exactly a good show wrestling wise, but it was a good go home show headed into Slammiversary. They highlighted everyone of the matches that will take place at Slammiversary and built them up some more. They did a great job doing so as well. I can’t wait for Slammiversary this Sunday. It should be great.


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Alexander Miezin

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