411’s WWE Hell In a Cell 2018 Preview

~THE STAFF~
* 411 columnist, Mike Chin.
* 411 contributor, Ken Hill.
* 411 columnist, Justin Watry.
* 411 contributor, Rob Stewart.
* 411 columnist, Steve Cook.
* 411 contributor, Jake Chambers.

Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella vs. The Miz and Maryse

Jake Chambers: In his book “The Artist’s Reality: Philosophies of Art” the great Abstract Expressionist painter Mark Rothko said: “In fact, the man who spends his entire life turning the wheels of industry so that he has neither time nor energy to occupy himself with any other needs of his human organism is by far a greater escapist than the one who developed his art. For the man who develops his art does make adjustments to his physical needs. He understands that man must have bread to live, while the other cannot understand that you cannot live by bread alone.”

WINNER: Bread

Steve Cook: It seems like Miz’s claims that Bryan’s return has been a disappointment have been validated during parts of this feud. I don’t expect him to win here either, as Bryan’s big win should come later in the program.

WINNER: Miz & Maryse

Rob Stewart: This is one of the harder-to-call matches of the night, and it could really go either way with the ladies involved. I know Brie and Maryse aren’t exactly dynamos in the ring, but they both have a spark in their personality and can help this be a nice quasi-interlude in the purer Miz/Bryan feud. Due to that, I suspect Daniel and Brie take it here with Brie pinning Maryse to keep things plenty unresolved between the two male superstars while simultaneously not allowing Miz to go up 2-0.

WINNER: Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella

Justin Watry: This feud has more juice to it. The face punching extravaganza is going to have to wait another month. Since we now know Daniel Bryan is staying (like it was in doubt), WWE can drag this out. The women being added prolongs the issue without giving away too much. I’m fine with it.

WINNER: Maryse pins Brie

Ken Hill: IT’S PAYYY-PERRR-PREVIEW…View…view…(view) time! I’m not surprised that the Total Wives would find their way into one of the better, bitter personal rivalries WWE has had to offer aside from Gargano-Ciampa, but if this past Tuesday’s “main event” is any indicator, this sequel to SummerSlam is not one I’m readily looking forward to. Hopefully we get less of “Botch Mode” and the “French Mizzus” and more continuation with Bryan and Miz. I will say, though, that Bryan needs the win to keep this feud going along, so Brie will likely get the pin or tapout win over Maryse. Maryse is more a valet than any semblance of a competitor, so her taking the loss won’t hurt Miz.

WINNER: Daniel and Brie

Mike Chin: I get why we’re seeing this match, to prolong Daniel Bryan-Miz program without giving away another one on one match, not to mention serving reality TV masters. Nonetheless, Brie Bella and Maryse have looked terrible in the ring and this feels more like a match to get through than one that really enriches the program. I’m picking Bryan and Bella to win to get some retribution as this rivalry goes on.

WINNER: Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella

Raw Tag Team Championship Match: Dean Ambrose & Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler and Drew McIntyre

Jake Chambers: Rap pioneer Big Daddy Kane turned 50 the other day, and in one of his most seminal songs, “Raw”, he said: “I give a speech like a reverend, rappers start severin’ / And in my lifetime, believe I’ve never been beaten / Or eaten, or just tookin’ out / You know, come to think about, I keep emcees lookin’ out / And real nervous, when I’m at your service / give me that title boy, you don’t deserve it.”

WINNER: Undeserving champions

Steve Cook: The Shield wants all the gold. It’s tempting to think that they’ll get it without much of a fuss, but I feel like Dolph & Drew aren’t going to let it happen. After all, you wouldn’t let them end the reign of the B- Team if you didn’t have big plans for them.

WINNER: Dolph & Drew

Rob Stewart: With the Shield reunion in full effect, all the rumors of a Dean Ambrose heel turn have been put on the back burner… and the light over the stove has been turned off. Gotta give WWE credit on that front: they took something EVERYONE thought was coming in the imminent future and took a hard left with it in a way that is as satisfying as it was unforeseen. Still, Drew and Dolph didn’t just win the titles to immediately lose them. They will retain somehow here, even if by DQ finish, and given that they have a six-man tag match at Super Show and then at Survivor Series they will probably be facing the SmackDown tag champs… they may not defend on a live special again until December. Wow.

WINNER: Drew & Dolph retain

Justin Watry: The assumption is one stable will walk away with all the gold. I disagree. The Shield won’t win all the titles nor will the Kings Of The Jungle. Drew McIntyre and Dolph Ziggler squeak by because Roman Reigns is my prediction later on in the evening.

WINNER: Champs retain

Ken Hill: Does anyone else feel like the real losers in this feud have been the WWE writers the last two weeks? The Shield getting due process on LABOR DAY (with a BS hand wave by Graves), the trio apparently hijacking a police van, Corbin supposed falsifying police reports and cutting off a sheriff while being read his Miranda rights and the sheriff not finishing like he’s supposed to, not to mention Rollins having extorted a tag team title opportunity from an authority figure (Again, who are they trying to make the heels here)? Maybe I’m just kvetching about fake crap, but if you’re going to be Triple H or Stephanie Bobbitt-McMahon referring to the current time period in WWE as a more “realistic” era, real issues that us plebeians understand a modicum of, like how arrests actually work for example, require a little more depth and explanation instead of just a tweeted afterthought hand-waving the whole thing. Otherwise, stick to lightning-shooting Deadmen, magical teleportation and the ambulance-lifting super-strong Strowman.

Anyway, this is a welcome change from B-Team’s overdone dumb luck shtick as RAW tag champs. It’s a solid way to continue the Rollins-Ziggler rivalry without resorting to yet another singles match and has the potential to be a real show-stealer at HITC. With that in mind, I’m for DolphIntyre retaining here, as they just dispatched the former champs and this is their first PPV title defense, plus having McIntyre going over Rollins would set him up as a potential challenger for the IC Title.

WINNER: Ziggler & McIntyre

Mike Chin: There different ways this could go down, but in the end I’m pegging WWE to move Drew McIntyre up into hte Universal title picture sooner than later, perhaps with a detour into a Shield as masters of the universe angle with them holding all of Raw’s gold simultaneously. The best news here is that everyone involved can go, and the Raw tag titles actually seem like they matter again.

WINNER: Ambrose and Rollins

Smackdown Tag Team Championship Match: New Day vs. Rusev Day

Jake Chambers: In Episode 7 of Season 3 on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Charlie Day famously ranted: “Just get a job? Why don’t I strap on my job helmet and squeeze down into a job cannon and fire off into Jobland where jobs grow on jobbies!”

WINNER: Not the jobbers

Steve Cook: If ever there was a time for Rusev & Aiden English to win championships, this would be the time. That’s why I’m picking New Day. I don’t think they have plans for Rusev Day to be anything more than they are right now.

WINNER: New Day

Rob Stewart: Weird coincidence that since Summerslam, both tag titles have changed hands on weekly television episodes. New Day is certainly MORE likely to just turn around and drop the belts in return, but that would certainly feel like a waste. Still, maybe this is the bloom on the AJ Styles curse. Nakamura couldn’t get the WWE Title off of him, but then won the US Title. Rusev couldn’t get the WWE Title off of him… does he then win the Tag Titles? It would be interesting. I think New Day retains here, though since they so recently defeated the dominant champs before them.

WINNER: The New Day

JUSTIN WATRY: This DAY will not end.

WINNER: Nobody

Ken Hill:

O Rusev Day, O Rusev Day
How lovely is Bulgaria
O Rusev Day, O Rusev Day
Machka Kicks cause hysteria

Rusev’s roars and Aiden’s rhyme
Are so crushing yet so sublime
O Rusev Day, O Rusev Day
Say “Lana ISN’T #1”, I dare ya!

HAPPY RUSEV DAY, EVERYBODY! It appears as if either WWE had a change of heart about turning English on Rusev or it’s merely a stay of execution for the “Rusev Day” tag team as they combat for the SD tag titles against New Day at HIAC. I’m happy to see the Rusev -English pairing coming back together and get what feels like their first real one-on-one opportunity at the tag team titles. However, since New Day just won the tag titles and have never really been known to be paper champions, I doubt we’ll see a change here as it’s their first defense as five-time…Five-time…FIve-time…FIVe-time…FIVE-TIME champs.

WINNER: The New Day

Mike Chin: I like Rusev and the Rusev Day gimmick as much as anyone, but this feels like the very definition of a filler match as the SmackDown tag scene regains its bearings after losing The Bludgeon Brothers mid-monster push, and prolongs New Day’s reign for the sake of some stability.

WINNER: New Day

Raw Women’s Championship Match: Alexa Bliss vs. Ronda Rousey

Jake Chambers: Back in July, former and future UFC fighter Brock Lesnar said one of the most enlightened and brilliantly articulated responses to being asked about watching WWE RAW: “I don’t watch the show, Paul. Why would I watch the show?”

WINNER: Poor Rousey, I hope she’s not watching either

Steve Cook: Do I need to explain this pick? I didn’t think so. Nobody’s beating Ronda, certainly not Miss Bliss.

WINNER: Ronda Rousey

Rob Stewart: This is just the obligatory rematch affair, but it’s pretty straight-forward: Alexa will fair a bit better and be more well-prepared, but ultimately, this is Ronda’s run. This is the bout where Ronda faces more adversity than she did the first go ’round, but proves she has the mettle to adjust. Basic storytelling, but it works.

WINNER: Ronda Rousey

@JustinWatry: For the record, my girlfriend thinks Alexa Bliss will win on Sunday night AND at Evolution versus Trish Stratus. Me, I…um do not think Bliss wins at Heck on a Deck. Maybe Evolution. Maybe. Tweeted Tuesday that Rousey is SOOOO GOOD right now. So good she makes herself look like a million bucks but also her opponent. Real talent.

WINNER: Ronda Rousey

Ken Hill: This is a rematch where little has changed aside from the champion-challenger scenario and the fact that Bliss did some damage to Ronda’s ribs to soften the champion up. The focus here isn’t the ribs themselves (Ronda’s still going to pulverize Little Miss Bliss regardless) but how well Ronda sells the damage; while Ronda’s physical presence in the ring is superb, one of her early flaws has been her lack of properly selling an injury or a hurt body part. I believe the key to Ronda’s inaugural reign as RAW Women’s Champion isn’t simply testing her physical mettle against a variety of WWE’s top female performers, but gauging different qualities that a WWE wrestler possesses, such as selling, presence, and mic skills. Rousey certainly has a couple of those tools from her time in UFC, but as we’ve seen lately still requires some fine-tuning before becoming a fully-realized performer in WWE.

WINNER: Ronda Rousey

Mike Chin: There’s no chance of Ronda Rousey losing yet, and particularly in a match against someone she’s already dominated. Barring a funky DQ for kicking too much ass, Rousey wins handily.

WINNER: Ronda Rousey

Smackdown Women’s Championship Match: Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte Flair

Jake Chambers: Oh cool, this’ll be easy. I can just copy and paste what I write here for the next two WWE PPV events as well! Thank you Mediocrity Era!

WINNER: Ctrl + C, Ctrl + V

Steve Cook: Becky winning the title here & Charlotte winning it back at Evolution to become the record holder for WWE women’s title reigns makes too much sense via WWE logic. Enjoy Becky’s run.

WINNER: Becky Lynch

Rob Stewart: I am well past the point where few things sour me on a show faster than yet another Charlotte Flair win in a title match. Becky has to win this strap–she HAS TO–otherwise her heel turn is pointless (unlike Nakamura, there’s not even a secondary title she can go after if Charlotte thwarts her). It’s possible they hold off on a Becky title win for Evolution, and if they do, I’m okay with it (otherwise that show is likely to have no women’s titles change hands since Rousey ain’t losing, and it’s unlikely Becky would win just to lose the belt in a month). But boy… I’d really like to see her win here. She really deserves it. But no… I’m calling a Charlotte win on Sunday so Becky can go over at Evolution.

WINNER: Charlotte

Justin Watry: Logic says this is the DQ/count out finish of the show. That is the likely option. Personally, I’m putting my money and my heart behind Becky. Whether it’s a true heel turn or not, who cares? Seriously, why does it even matter? Do the switch now and give Charlotte an infinite number of rematches.

WINNER: Becky Lynch

Ken Hill: I’m very much surprised that neither this feud nor Styles-Joe ended up inside the Cell, as I’ve been rather adamant that personal rivalries coming to a boil should be settled inside the Cell, like Edge-Taker, HHH-HBK, and even DX vs. The McMahons. The other issue has been the face-heel dichotomy; the crowd has been nearly 100% behind Becky since she snapped and turned on Charlotte at SummerSlam, and no one’s been feeling bad for the Flair with the Gold since she was the one to nose in on Becky’s opportunity to begin with. WWE has seemed adamant on Becky being a heel, though, with her railing against the fans (failed), assaulting Charlotte from behind (got a pop) and disguising herself as a fan to get in a cheap shot days before their match (got a BIGGER pop), but hey WWE Creative, you tried…

If WWE is indeed intent on getting Becky over as a heel, then she needs an underhanded victory either here or somewhere down the line over her former friend to reclaim her long-lost championship, otherwise it ends up becoming a fruitless shift in character for Becky and she simply becomes a catty, female equivalent of Nakamura.

WINNER: Becky Lynch

Mike Chin: Here’s where things get interesting as Charlotte Flair is the golden girl of WWE, but Becky Lynch has been over huge lately, especially since her heel turn. I’m pegging Lynch to take the title here to set up the rematch–and likely as not Flair’s big victory to take the title back–at Evolution.

WINNER: Becky Lynch

Hell In a Cell Match: Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy

Jake Chambers: One of my favourite stanzas from “If They Remember” by the famous poet Jeff Hardy is as follows: “When they look out through the night / When they look out through the stars / Does a normal person wonder? / About life behind bars?”

WINNER: Emoetry in a Cell

Steve Cook: I have no idea why this is SmackDown’s Hell in a Cell match. Joe vs Styles & Bryan vs Miz easily have more heat. I can only assume that Jeff wants to do something stupid involving the Cell before his career ends.

WINNER: Randy Orton

Rob Stewart: Of all the affairs on this show that SHOULD be inside the Cell… and this one is instead? We all know it’s just so Jeff can do something dumb off of something tall, but still… meh. I’m not looking forward to this one–I never look forward to anything heel Randy Orton does because his matches as a villain are slug-paced–and there’s really nothing at stake. Randy will win to justify his new role.

WINNER: Randy Orton

Justin Watry: No complaints with this one. Jeff Hardy finally gets to enter the cell and do something unique. While Randy Orton gets a strong victory with his new persona…

WINNER: Randy Orton

Ken Hill: I’ve actually enjoyed the simplicity behind this storyline; Randy Orton, as the jaded veteran passed over time and again for “flavors of the month” like Hardy, Roode and Balor, looks to wipe them from the face of WWE and reestablish himself as the standard-bearer, whereas Jeff refuses to be made an example/victim of Orton’s rediscovered malevolence and has fought back against Randy, diving off those very stages and turnbuckles that Orton lambasted him for jumping off of and delivering cathartic Swanton after Swanton. Now this personal rivalry has reached a head and I find it very appealing that these two veterans are going to war inside the Cell. Orton is at his most vicious when given a No-DQ environment to work with, and the match becomes all the more appetizing when we realize that Jeff himself has never entered HIAC in his ENTIRE career. That bizarre notion opens up a multitude of possibilities, as we don’t know what sort of high-risk shenanigans will get up to inside the Cell…or possibly on top of it, and I believe that latter possibility is what will be the undoing for Hardy. He goes for broke (hopefully not literally) with a Swanton off the Cell, only for Orton to dodge at the very last second, allowing Orton to pick up the win and Hardy to possibly cap off his daredevil career with one more big show-stealing highlight.

WINNER: Randy Orton

Mike Chin: This feud happened over ten years ago, culminating at Royal Rumble 2008. It’s not the worst issue to revisit, an Orton has been good, particularly on the mic, in this latest heel run. Just the same this doesn’t feel anything like a dream match and it’s an odd fit for Hell in a Cell given how decidedly mid-card it is. I have to assume Jeff Hardy is taking a huge bump, perhaps as a capstone to his career of big bumps, and likely as not to rationalize him finally taking his long-rumored time off to heal up from nagging injuries. Here’s hoping for a cool moment and that this win doesn’t catapult Orton back into the main event picture.

WINNER: Randy Orton

WWE Championship Match: Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles

Jake Chambers: In the movie Closer, after writer Dan cheats with the wife of doctor Larry, they have a heated conversation: “Dan: You think love is simple. You think the heart is like a diagram. / Larry: Have you ever seen a human heart? It looks like a fist wrapped in blood! Go fuck yourself. You writer! You liar! You go check a few facts while I get my hands dirty.”

WINNER: Whichever one is the doctor

Steve Cook: It feels like AJ’s days are numbered, doesn’t it? There is the whole 2K19 cover thing, but it just seems like it’s Joe’s time. I pick against AJ most of the time so I fully expect to be wrong.

WINNER: Samoa Joe

Rob Stewart: With Bryan tied up in a feud with Miz, a lot of the “Next Challenger Up” guys on Smackdown are heels. Orton and Almas spring to mind, for instance. That doesn’t bode particularly well for Joe’s chances of ultimately moving on with the championship. It’s weird how few top-level singles babyfaces Smackdown has now that I think about it. Conceivably Joe could win, continue in a feud with AJ for the next few months to fend off rematches, and by then maybe either Bryan will be free from his angle or someone like Big E moves up the card to be next on Joe’s list. But I think WWE has become proud of themselves for how long they have kept the belt on AJ, and they may continue on with it. This is the match I’m most likely wrong on, but… I think AJ keeps the belt.

WINNER: AJ Styles retains.

@JustinWatry: I have decided that I am not picking against AJ Styles until he loses the WWE Championship. Same with the CM Punk 2012. After a while, I just came to the conclusion he wasn’t losing. Until The Rock came along that is. Right now, there is no Rocky coming around the corner…sorry Samoa Joe.

WINNER: AJ Styles

Ken Hill: Whereas the Universal Title bout suffers from a touch of overbooking with Foley in the special ref spot, this match suffers from being underbooked despite the excellent buildup between Styles and Joe. Why? It’s been booked as another singles match, whereas many of us were expecting such a grueling, personal rivalry to be set inside the Cell. There’s no doubt that Styles and Joe can put on a great match, as we saw with their SummerSlam efforts. I just feel like the Cell would’ve been a better environment, where we could see Joe’s brutality really be put on display and AJ’s tenacity be put to the test. While I feel like there would be more intrigue with a Joe title win (and he does deserve it with the excellent character work put forth here), the WWE 2K19 poster boy’s reign hasn’t halted yet and after Joe verbally terrorizing AJ and his family, it seems that a happy ending is in the wings for The Phenomenal Family.

WINNER: AJ Styles

Mike Chin: The only rationale I can accept for this match not going down in the Cell is that there’s a finish planned that requires interference or at least action outside the ring. I could see this thing going either way, and without the finality of the Cell there’s a possibility the rivalry will simply go on from here, making it anybody’s match. I’m going to roll the dice on WWE being wise to Styles growing stale in this spot and Joe deserving a chance to run with the ball. Thus, I’m calling the title change.

WINNER: Samoa Joe

WWE Universal Championship Hell In a Cell Match: Braun Strowman vs. Roman Reigns (Money in the Bank cash-in, Mick Foley as special referee)

Jake Chambers: Mankind/Dude Love/Cactus Jack is one of the greatest pro-wrestling talkers of all time. Arguably the greatest. His legendary monologues never look as good in text though. Honestly, watching them again numerous times doesn’t capture the exhilaration of seeing them performed for the first time either. Some things just exist in an exquisitely undefinable moment of pleasure. However, Mankind being thrown off the top of the Hell in a Cell is a visual that still wows almost 20 years later, and after thousands of viewings. And yet no other Hell in a Cell match since has had the same affect. Rather than retiring the gimmick, since it can never be topped, the WWE instead locked it in as a regular, arbitrary centrepiece of an entire annual PPV. And thus we watch these matches every year, like cigarette drags on cancer-infected lungs, waiting for the hard wall of time to hit us like it has the hardcore madmen portrayed by Mick Foley. Once the coolest, most counter-culture entity in all of the mainstream, there is really nothing less cool than Foley today, metonym for the WWE as a whole. For example, Reigns vs. Strowman is just Cena vs. Big Show but for a less sophisticated audience. Yet no matter what they do, I still must watch. So many things calling to me, pulling me in other cultural directions, and yet – I – still – watch. That’s called loyalty, my friends – loyalty! “The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, / But in ourselves, that we are underlings.” – Julius Caesar (I, ii, 140-141)

WINNER Roman Reigns

Steve Cook: The report that Braun was turned heel so not winning his cash in match wouldn’t hurt his status makes sense. I think the heel turn in general has hurt his status, but we all know that Roman’s status is what matters anyway. And it’s too soon for him to lose the strap.

WINNER Roman Reigns

Rob Stewart: Hahaha, they actually turned Braun heel again. So friggin’ weird. Is he going to have one of those Big Show careers by the time it’s all said and done where he has switched sides an average of once per year? I know he has only had one run as a babyface and a lengthy heel stretch prior to that, but his turn as a good guy just feels so stunted now. I’m pretty sure I predicted every single champion to retain going into the main event here, and just how often do we get clean sweeps? I know the rumors have been circulating a whole “Get ready for a long Reigns reign!”, but that feels like the reddest of herrings to me. No, I think Braun takes the title here… he may give it back to Roman by the end of 2018, but I just don’t think he fails in this one.

WINNER: Braun Strowman

justin watry: Here comes The Big Dog! Heck will be had inside that deck on Sunday night. If this was a few months into Roman’s reign, I might feel differently. Since we just got here, no. Mr. Braun Strowmam can get his hands on somebody else. Mick Foley or The Shield – nothing changes the outcome.

WINNER Roman Reigns

Ken Hill: I’m not quite sure I get the point of Foley being in the Cell other than it just being a “thank you” reward for his dive 20 years ago. Foley, as far as I know, hasn’t been cleared to take bumps, and even if he was, I don’t know if he’d be wanting to take a drubbing from Strowman. Overall, I think Foley’s role is being overplayed here and he won’t be nearly as big a factor as he supposed will be. Strowman and Reigns do have an excellent chemistry with one another and have carried each other to a great array of grudge matches throughout 2017, from an Ambulance match to a cage match to Last Man Standing, and I don’t doubt that this one will be another fun, brutal display. While the Cell has been promised to keep both The Shield and Strowman’s pack at bay, Braun’s destructive tendencies (i.e. Him tearing down a cage wall) lead me to believe that a six-man war will likely break out during the match, with Reigns somehow retaining his title amidst all the chaos and fervor, and help to build up to their six-man tag at the SuperShow in Australia.

The real question, in my mind, goes back to that odd nagging little segment with Strowman making a show of handing the MITB to Acting GM Corbin with explicit instructions to not cash it in until the night of HIAC. Who’s to say Corbin didn’t simply make the match between Reigns and Strowman and withhold the MITB contract as a way to avenge his embarrassing loss from last year? That would be positively EVIL…

WINNER: Roman Reigns…maybe Baron Corbin?

Mike Chin: These two have chemistry and a hot storyline going into this match. Despite the Cell, the story being told seems built for Ambrose, Rollins, Ziggler, and McIntyre to get involved, and it remains to be seen what Mick Foley might contribute besides name value–all of these external factors will probably contribute to protecting whoever looses, though, in this clash between WWE’s two best protected full-time commodities. In the end, I get the sense WWE wants Reigns to finally have his long world title reign, and as such he’s not dropping the belt just yet.

WINNER: Roman Reigns