411’s WWE RAW Report 1.14.18

AHHHHHHH I took a small ass nap while watching Lizzie McGuire and woke up five minutes late! Let’s get to the show!

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Braun Strowman starts RAW with a promo that claims Brock will get these hands. Corbin comes out and runs his mouth, then runs away from Braun to the back. Braun sees a limo, kicks the rear view mirror off its side, then smashes the window in and pulls the driver out. Corbin is on the other side of the limo, stares at Braun, and runs away. Braun screams that he better run, and we see Vince McMahon come up, staring in disbelief. It appears the limo was his. Vince stands, befuddled, and Braun looks at him unsure of what to make of the situation.

We come back to Vince calling Braun a human wrecking machine, saying he needs Caution tape surrounding him. He then fines Braun $100,000. Braun says this piece of crap is not worth $100,000. Vince seems bothered by this, says the title match at The Rumble, it’s off.

Because he’s Braun, and we’ve totally never seen this type of rage again, he flips the limo upside down while Cole busts a nut over his feat of strength. Multiple angles, too, so you know it’s real…

For even more predictability, look no further than future opponents teaming up to take on a villain in kind! Oh, this is just refreshing…

Backstage, Braun is being escorted out of the arena….by one guy. Corbin laughs on in the background.

Cole talks about things being shattered as we pan to Nia. Makes sense.

Match 1: Ronda Rousey and Sasha Banks Vs Tamina and Nia Jax
Sasha and Nia to start. Nia wants Ronda as Renee says “PERIODT” like a dummy. Sasha pretends to tag Ronda but kicks Nia insetead. Double knees in the conrer. She goes for some more but Nia catches her. Sasha crucifix, floats down, grabs the legs, but cant pull her down for a pin. She locks fingers and runs the ropes then tries for an arm drag, but Nia is too strong. She pulls Sasha up and Sasha turns that into a sleeper hold. Nia backs her up in the corner. Sasha cinches the legs and hops back onto her to lock in the sleeper hold. Snapmare from Nia who runs int othe corner softly, then eats a knee from Sasha. Sasha on the top rope kicks then hits a bulldog, and Nia is just…trash. Sasha with a running knee to the face and a cover for 1..2..NO! Tag to Ronda. Ronda in with a kick. She goes in with some rights and lefts but NIa shoves her in the corner and tags in Tamin. Tamina right a hard right but Ronda runs up her arm and looks for the arm bar. Nia drags Tamina out of the ring before she can lock it in.

We come back with Nia holding in a bear hug on Sasha Banks. Nia shoves her into the ropes. Sasha rolls up Nia then gets powerbombed to the mat. Nia turns it into a pin for 1..2..NO!!! NIa rolls into Sasha then covers for 1..2..NO! Nia with a single underhook choke hold. We get a picture in picture view of this match because apparently RAW is sponsored by Glass. Stupid.

Anyways, Nia still has the hold on until Sasha breaks it up with a jawbreaker. Elbow from NIa. She shoves Sasha into the corner and tags in Tamina. Tamina with stomps. Sasha floats over and rolls Tamina up, gets a 1..2..NO!!! Sasha jumps for a pin but Tamin stops her. She knocks Ronda off the apron. Ronda rushes the rung. Tamin turns to Sasha. Sasha with a kick. She elbows Nia down then hops over Tamina who shoves an elbow into Nia.

Side Russian Leg Sweep INTO The Bank Statement! Tamina taps!

Winners: Sasha Banks and Ronda Rousey
When Tamina is a better wrestler than you, that’s a problem. Nia, I’m talking to you.
Match Quality: **
Personal Enjoyment: **
Total Rating: **

CHARLEY interviews Ronda and Sasha saying they were able to trust each other. Ronda says that’s because they respect each other. Sasha is at the top of the division, and it will be an honor to defend this title. It’s Sasha Banks. A victory over her will be her greatest accomplishments.

Sasha is glad she chose where she ranks on her list.

Ronda says she respects her and the best way to show that respect is to tap her out.

Sasha takes offense. She questions these words. She says that Ronda thinks she is the only one who can tap people out. Ask Nia and Tamina how it felt. Sasha will face any woman any size any place and anywhere. It will be her pleasure to teach Ronda how to lose with class.

Ronda says that she can teach her by example. She can keep the title of the world’s classiest loser because she doesn’t want it.

Sasha says she is a loser? Let’s not forget who she called out. Last week, she called Sasha the best. She is not afraid of Ronda. Come Rumble, the only loser will be Ronda, when she makes her tap out and take back HER title, and she can bank on that.

Ronda seems bothered that she offended her. Sasha leaves the ring. Ronda runs up after her and tries to speak reason. What does she expect Ronda to do? Sasha says this is her house and her rules and walks away from Ronda. Ronda seems frustrated and follows her again.

Backstage, The B Team, Axel and Apollo, Slater and Rhyno, are waiting by Vince’s door. King comes out of the door. No Way Jose walks by with his line of idiots in front of King, and he seems confused. I am, too.

In some other place backstage, Natalya and Bayley are holding back Sasha and Ronda. Nattie sends Ronda to the back. Bayley sends Sasha back. Nattie tells Bayley that Sasha needs to chill. Bayley is offended and says that it’s Ronda who has an issue. They battle back and forth until The Riot Squad comes up to call Bayley a…sad piece of Mochi? Ruby says they love taking bad sitautions and making it worse, so if they can find a friend, they can face them. Nattie stands like a superhero to say that they’ll be find and more than ready while Bayley says, “Now you wanna be ok?”

The Revival comes down to tell the Loser House Party that they saw it right in front of their eyes. They saw The Revival get screwed. They turned their back on The Revival. (oh, so they were friends?). Tonight it’s time to pay up.

Match 2: The Revival vs Lucha House Party

Wilder and Kalisto to start. Arm drag from Wilder. We learn that it’s Kalisto and Metalik only. Lockup and Wilder backs up Kalisto into the ropes. Drag and Kalisto lands on his feet, hits a drag, dropkick, chop to the chest, he locks hands and runs up the ropes then hits another arm drag. Double team into a double flip and a senton onto Wilder. Cover for 1..2..NO!! Metalik got the pin and drops Wilder on his knee. Tag to Kalisto. Axe off the top. Tag to Dawson. Whip and we get a double team. Inverted Atomic Drop and a kick to the face. Cover for 1..2..NO!!!

Backstage, because this match doesn’t matter, hot chick is at the door of Vince with Apollo Crews who is waiting for an opportunity. He says the title means a lot, and this is why he is first in line. Hawkins says this is a line full of superstars but imagine The Beast vs The Streak. Turn again and EC3 is standing by. He smiles. The B in B Team stands for Brock, by the way. They haven’t decided, though, who will face Brock. Slater is also tossing his hat in. He says hell nah he ain’t facing Brock, but Rhyno might want to…

Oh, hey, look, there’s a match still. Metalik drops Dawson onto his head, flips away from Dawson, drops him, Dash gets a tag. Metalik misses a kick. The Revival oe for a double suplex, but Kalisto comes in to stop it. Roll through from Kalisto. Dawson nearly cuts his head off. Metalik with a flip and a rollup for 1..2..NO!!! Metalik runs the ropes, ducks under a right hand, but Dawson gets a DDT!

Cover for 1..2..Metalik’s foot is on the ropes. Dash is there to push it off…..3!!!!

Winners: The Revival
Heading to the back during one match. Glass commercial during another. WTF.
Match Quality: *1/2
Personal Enjoyment: *
Total Rating: *3/4

Backstage again, Vince tells the hot chick that he’s about to go to the ring.

Vinnie Mac is here. He is about to enlighten us before Cena’s music hits. Vince smirks.

Cena cuts Vince off yet again. He knows what he’s going to say and what he wants to do. We saw him lose his big title match at Rumble, so he’s out here to tell someone to step up. He will save Vince the time and the trouble. 20 years ago, when everyone left Vince high and dry. The Rock, Stone Cold, Brock, see ya, Vince. He didn’t know what to do. He turned around to a crew of rejects and misfits and begged someone to step up. Cena walked up to him, looked him in the eyes, and said if he gave Cena a chance, he will not let him down. Vince gave him that chance, and he didn’t let him down. Chance after chance .Cena missed birthdays, wedding, funerals for this. He is sayin this because stepping up isn’t putting your life on hold, it’s making this your life and loving every second of it. He asks Vince to give him a chance. He will not let him down. The Rumble will be unforgettable. He will walk in, defeat Brock, and become the 17 time WWE Champion. He will do this because he will have something no other superstar has….

RUTHLESS AGRESSION!

Drew McIntyre shouts no from backstage and says to stop everything right now. How Dare Cena. HOW DARE HE! He doesn’t care about his 16 championships or new movies or whatever book he may be currently writing. But how dare you stand there with a straight face and claim that he still has ruthless agression. THIS is what ruthless agression looks like, he tells Vince while getting directly in his face. He turns to Cena to tell him that his time is up, and Drew’s time is now. So just like Stone Cold, The Rock, and Lesnar….Cena can leave.

Another voice from backstage is heard, and out comes Corbin doing his best Matthew McConaughey. He says earlier toinght, his life was threatened. Hypothetically, he should get a title shot against Brock.

Finn Balor takes offense, claiming that he’s gotta be honest here. He’s a little tired of always being left out of these types of convos. These three in the ring can make claims to a lot of things, but he is the only person out here who has ever been Universal Champion.

Vince tells him, maybe one day he will again, but there’s a lot of beef out here. He’s got speed and agility, but against all this beef….Finn is a great competitor, but Vince doesn’t know.

Finn says Vince never believed in him. Hear that? These people believe in him. He knows vince is stuborn and nothing he says will change his mind, so how about he shows him. Finn attacks Corbin. Drew attacks Cena. Claymore to Finn. Cena is slow to rise. Claymore kick to Cena.

Vince likes this! He says let’s find out who wil face Brock tonight with a Fatal Four Way.

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Disqus Dick Punch:

SRW: Anybody know when Glass is in theathers? For the love of God why won’t anybody tell us when Glass in theathers…..

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Backstage, Vince is talking to D’Lo Brown. He is stopped by Jinder who says he loves his suit. He is offended that he wasn’t considered for the fatal four way match. Jinder says the entire WWE Universe was robbed of the match against Lesnar last year. Vince questions this. Jinder says he would have come out, but he had to take care of Sunil. Jinder wants a shot, an opportunity.

Vince says that he chooses one of the four men out there, beat him tonight, and he will take that man’s place at the Royal Rumble. Jinder chooses Finn Balor.

So wait…Jinder is fighting Balor for a spot in the rumble; yet we don’t know what spot that is yet, thereby eliminating the weight of the win? Or is one man out and the other in?

Looks like the girls found their third! It’s Nikki Cross!!

Match 2: The Riott Squad vs Bayley, Natalya, and Nikki Cross

The bell rings and Bayley and Sarah are starting. Nikki goes wild on the apron as the crowd chants for her. Bayley consideres tagging her on. She tells her to grab the ropes. Tag to Nikki. Cross is in. She hops on the back of Logan nd locks in a sleeper. Sarah tosses her off. Nikki with a dropkick .Tag to Liv. She drops her then screams and slaps herself. Tag from Ruby. Ruby calls her girls in and all three walk up to Nikki. Bayley and Nattie flank Nikki but Cross says to let her play. She attacks Ruby, but all three girls leave the ring. Oddly enough, none of them attack Nikki at all. Bayley and Nattie with baseball slides to the girls. Nikki climbs between the apron and grabs Ruby. She pulls her then traps her between apron and ring and gives her a bunch of forearms, which Ruby sells awesomely.

Back to the show, and Cole expresses that he’s not sure if Nikki is on the roster or not. Bayley in the ring with a pin for 1..2.NO! Logan drops Bayley hard then flips and drops a knee onto Bayley. Bayley rolls to the outside. Sarah follows and drops a kick to Bayley. She rolls her in and Bayley rolls her up for 1..2.NO!! Logan sends Bayley to the heel corner. Tag to Liv who hops onto the top rope. Logan whips Bayley into the knees. Liv flies off then hits a pin for 1..2..NO!!! Liv hops onto Bayley and locks her up on the ropes. Ref stops her, is dstracted, and ruby kicks Bayley. Liv kicks Bayley, too then covers her for 1..2..NO!!! Liv grabs the leg of Bayley. Bayley kicks her away. Again. Liv drags her. Tag to Sarah. Sarah stomps. Logan with a resthold. Logan drops Bayley, stomps her back. Again. Whip to Bayley. Sarah dives against the corner. Bayley moves. She ducks a clothesline .Tag to Nattie. Dropkick from Nattie. German! Spinning clothesline! She whips, Logan locks the legs, wheelbarrow drop face first and a cover for 1..2..NO!!! Logan is down .Bayley runs in with a knee. Tag to Liv. Hurricanrana from Liv. Cover for 1.2..NO!! NIkki stops the pin. Li stares down. She hits a right, Nikki screams. Nattie goes for Sharpshooter. Tag from Nikki. Liv is held up by Nattie and Nikki hits a clothesline from the top rope! She screams. Logan is in. Nikki drops her. Getman to Ruby. Nikki with a bulldog to Ruby. Nattie whips Nikki into Logan. Nattie with adropkick. Nattie on the apron. She dives off with a crossbody onto Ruby. Liv slaps the shit out of her then rolls her into the ring. Liv follows. Cross catches a kick, goes for a right, Liv hits the matrix, kick and a pin for 1..2…NO!!! Tag to Bayley. Nikki hits a neckbreaker off the ropes.

Nikki drags Liv to the center of the ring. Flying elbow from Bayley. Pin for 1..2….3!!!

Winners: Nikki Cross, Bayley, and Natalya
Could do without commentary doing a total oversell.
Match Quality: **
Personal Enjoyment: **
Total Rating: **

Backstage, Finn is walking. It creates such heavy anticipation. We see Lacey Evans talking to Mickie James.

Backstage, Dean Ambrose cuts his best Bane on the footsteps of Mellon Institute. “We take the WWE from the corrupt. The rich!”

Before the match can start, one of the Singh’s trips up Finn on the apron. Jinder beats down on Finn a bit, then tosses him into the barricade. Jinder says he will go to The Rumble and he will face Brock. He tosses Finn into the barricade stomach first. Finn doesn’t even have his jacket off yet. What a heel. Jinder tosses Finn into the ring. The bell rings after Jinder enters himself. Ref checks on Finn first. The ref asks if Finn wants the match. Finn removes the jacket. Oh he wants it ,baby. He wants it bad.

Match 3: Jinder Mahal vs Finn Balor

Jinder with a huge kick! Pin for 1..2….NO!!! Jinder works in a chokehold from behind. Finn turns into it. Jinder drops it down tho, and gets the hold in hard. Finn escapes. Low Dropkick to Jinder! Finn pulls JInder on the apron and gets lifted upby Jinder. Finn lands on his feet. High kick on the apron. Jinder drops to the mat on his feet. Finn goes for a kick, but Jinder pushes the leg out from under him and Finn hits it hard head first.

Back, and Cole’s hyperbole is full force. Jinder stomps Finn. Jinder elbows Finn then gets a chinlock from behind onto Finn. Finn escapes, pin for 1..2..NO!!! Jinder with another rest hold. Elbow from Jinder. Overhead kick to Jinder! Kick out of the corner. Right hand from Finn. He whips, reversed, right hand to Jinder! Shoots the legs. Stomp to the chest! Finnish him!!! He goes for a slingnlade, gets stopped, hits the ropes, knocks Singh off the apron, Jinder kicks, locks his head between the legs. Finn sends Jinder over the top rope. Finn hits the ropes! Front flip over the top onto the Indians! He rolls Jinder back into the ring as the crowd starts a TOO SWEET chant. Slingblade.

Dropkick into the corner. Jinder drops. Finn gets to the top rope. Coup De Grace! Pin for 1….2…3!!!

Winner: Finn Balor
Literally everything was boring until the last 45 seconds.
Match Quality: *1/2
Personal Enjoyment: *
Total Rating: *¾

Seth is with charley to bring up luekemia and Dean screwing him.

Match 4: Intercontinental Championship Match
Seth Rollins vs Bobby Lashley vs Dean Ambrose

Ambrose tries to talk to Seth about teaming up to take on Lashley. Seth pretends he’s down then tosses Dean to the outside, so that this triple threat is like all the other ones. Seth attacks Lashley then sends him to the otuside and dives onto him, tossing Dean back into the ring immediately after. Seth hops to the top and hits acrossbody. Cover for 1..2…NO!! Lashley is in, he eats aright hand by Seth. Dean axe handles Seth out of a possible supelx. He mounts and beats down on Seth. Lashley then does the same. He and Dean stare down each other and consider working together. They double team Seth then send him into the corner hard. Dean lifts him and hits a right. Lashley grabs Seth and locks up then hits a snap suplex and a cover but Rollin kicks out immediately. Dean says he will hold up Seth and does so then Lashley attacks the mid section. Lashley sends Seth into the corner and hits a shoulder. Dean whips Lashley into Seth. Seth moves. He dodges Lashleythen fights back Dean and Lashley. He hits the ropes, Lashley lifts his ass up with one han and hits a Spinebuster!!!! Whoa!!!! Dean sends Lashley to the outside. He turns to pin, but Rollins rolls him up! Pin for 1..2…NO!!! Seth sends Dean over the top rope and hits a suicide dive onto Dean and Lashley!!! He enters the ring. Lio Rush is in the ring. Seth gabs a kick, flips Lio chases him to the corner. Lio ducks some right hands. Lio back flips of the apron. He runs around the ring and Lashley grabs Seth then drops Seth on his ass hard!!! Dean flies off the apron. Lashley grabs him and hits abelly to belly!!

Back, and Seth drops a knee onto Lashley followed by Dean dropping an elbow. They realize how well they double team and begin to stomp on Lashley. Lashley stands, and both men hit a clothesline, sending him over the to rope. They roll to the outside and grab the steps. They send the steps into lashley. Ambrose gets back into the ring, where Seth is waiting. They fight back and forth. Chop s and chops and chops. Dean hits the ropes. Seth with a hard right. Locks up for a bucklebomb but Dean won’t let it. Momentum moves and we get a roll up for 1..2.NO!!! Dean locks up for Dirty Deeds, but Seth turns it into a falcon arrow! Pin for 1..2..NO!!! Lio Rush breaks up the pin! Seth chaes him again, not learning from last time it appears. Lio runs into the ring. He dorps an elbow onto Seth who enters. Dean sends Lio t othe outside. Superkick from Seth to Dean. Lashley in to send Seth to the outside. Lashley covers!!!! 1..2…NO!!!! He was sure he had it. Lashley waits for Dean to stand. He goes for a spear. Dean kicks. Locks up for dirty deeds. Seth from the top rope with aclothelsine!!! Enziguri from Seth to Lashley! Seth to the top rope! He dives. FROG SPLASH!!! Ambrose in snd sends Seth to the outside. Pin for 1..2..NO!!!
Ambrose to the top rope! Seth is up! He locks up on the top rope! Lashley runs to the corner. He stands under Seth. Ambrose with a clothesline! SETH LANDS ON HIS FEET!!! Superkick to Lashley! A kick to Dean!!! He goes for the stomp!!!

Lio pulls the ropes!! Seth tumbles to the outside!!! SPEAR FROM LASHLEY! Lashley covers! 1….2……3!!!!

Winner and NEW Intercontinental Champion Bobby Lashley!!!
Man, I really thought they were going with paint by the numbers, but that shit turned out pretty great, with the exception of the little mini shield reunion that makes little sense considering the ‘blood feud.’ .
Match Quality: ***1/2
Personal Enjoyment: ****
Total Rating:***3/4

Backstage, some dude has Bliss’s coffee. He walks in and Alexa is topless. She covers herself and wonders if this man even knocked. He says she is up next.

There was no reason for this….

Another pimping of Glass.

It’s now time for……A MOment of Bliss! She has some news. Three teams from RAW and three teams from Smackdown will compete inside The Elimination Chamber, and the team that survives will walk out as the WWE Women’s Tag team Champions. She unveils the new titles and shows excitement. She says that’s what they do here on Moment of Bliss; they make history! She then welcomes Heyman.
Heyman introduces himself, and calls this Alexa’s moment of bliss for the chance to interview him.

He tells her to bring it, woman. Alexa says things are crazy tonight. Lashley won the IC Title and Braun is out of the title match, so what’s going on in Heyman’s head?

Heyman says that emotions play no part in it. It’s the strategy by Heyman that practically guarantees that the winner and still champ will be Brock Lesnar. He says why clean out the entire devision though so that there can only be one? And who will that one be? Will it be Cena? Will it be Drew? Heyman says he is no liar, he has had his eye on Drew for some time now. He says one day, this man will be champion. Just not now. What about Corbin? Not the most liked guy.

Someone is distracting Alexa while Heyman is talking. We turn to see Otis from Heavy Machinery sauntering around. He talks like Fat Bastard and stares down Alexa. He taunts a bunch until his partner comes up to grab his partner, who is screaming “PRETTY LADY.” Alexa is confused. Heyman is too. The bell rings for the fatal four way and that’s how they end this segment.

Match 5: MAIN EVENT
Fatal Four Way Match
Baron Corbin vs Fin Balor vs John Cena vs Drew McIntyre

Corbin and Balor start off with some wrasslin while Drew handles Cena on the outside. Corbin chokeslams Finn onto the knee and covers for 1.2…NO!!! Cena rolls into the ring. Drew follows and he and Corbin stare down Cena.

Back after a break, and Cena is getting his ass handed to him by Drew. Finn side steps as Drew sends Cena to the outside. Finn hops over, sends Drew out, baseball slides then goes for a running kick. Balor stops him, though, and shoves him off the apron. Tornado DDT from Cena to Drew. Pin for 1…2..NO! Drew covers Cena and punches him. Cena with the five knuckle shuffle. AA attempt to DREW. Cena hits it!!! Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Corbin slaps Cena lightly, which is totally enough to stop the pin. Finn and Cena stare each other down and consider teaming up. They do so with Corbin, sitting him up on the top buckle. They hit some rights. Finn and Cena stand up and lock up for a suplex, but Drew is in the ring. He stands under both of them an slams both down hard. Corbin grabs Drew, Drew hits a right hand then a chop. Drew locks the head of Corbin. Corbin with a right hand! Drew in a tree of woe! He pulls himself up and shoots Corbin across the ring!!!

Back from another break and Baron is gitting End of Days on Finn!! Drew is there to stop the pin, though! Corbin is pissed. Drew don’t give a shit. They go at it and try to create that epic “two big dudes” moment but can’t, cuz no one cares bout Corbin. Headbutt from Corbin. Cena flies off the corner but Drew hits a spinebuster! He flips into a pin for 1..2..NO!!!! Everyone is down! Cena and Drew go at it. Finn and Corbin, too. Drew stomps Cena. Corbin claps for himself. Drew stomps Cena’s hand. Again. Crobin with a right. Drew hits one too. Cena blocks! Corin with a knee to Finn. Cena and Drew trade blows. Corbin and Finn do too. The faces overcome. Drew hits the ropes and Cena sends him over the top. Finn drops Baron. Cena gets him on the shoulders. Finn drops. Swinging kick from the corner. He gets to the top rope. Cena with a headbutt. He sets Finn up on his shoulders. Elbow to Cena. Another. Cena stands up with Finn on his shoulders. AA OFF THE 2nd ROPE!!!! Corbin in! He sends Cena to the outside. Cover! 1..2…..NO!!!

Corbin is super frustrated on the outside. He grabs a chair from the timekeeper, hits Cena in the gut, then slaps his back. He goes after Drew, next. Slaps him one then drops a chair to his stomach. He enters the ring with the chair and slaps Finn across the back. Another smack across the back Cover for 1..2..NO!! Cena stops it! Right hand from Corbin. He grabs the chair again. Corbin misses a chair shot. Cena gets him on his shoulders. AA to Corbin!!! Claymore to Cena!!! DDT from Finn!!!!

Corbin hits the corner. COUP DE GRACE TO CENA!!! Finn pins! 1…2…..3!!!!!

Winner: Finn Balor
Whale whale whale
Match Quality: ***1/2
Personal Enjoyment: ***1/2
Total Rating: ***1/2

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Be sure to check out THE RAW REACTION tonight after RAW! Click the pic to listen in around 8:30 PM PST!

Cena grabs the mic before the show ends. He grabs the mic and tells Finn that today, in front of the entire world, Vince didn’t believe in you, but these people do. Cena tells him right now, Finn has one more person that believes in him. Give him hell at the Royal Rumble.

End Show