wrestling / TV Reports

411’s WWE Raw Report 10.15.07

October 15, 2007 | Posted by Larry Csonka

WWE Raw Begins…NOW~!

-From England!

-JR and the King our the announcers.

-We get highlights of No Mercy and Last Week’s Raw.

-Regal is in his office saying hi to a picture of the Queen. Orton is now here and is pissed that HHH didn’t shake his hand, and that instead HBK came out to attack him. Orton says since Regal is the GM and he should decide who he faces, not the fans. Orton came ready to compete tonight, he feels he needs a tune up match. Orton calls the English Rouges and says Hardy, Kennedy and HBK should have a triple threat tonight. Regal says they may like that and he has an announcement to go and make.

-Raw opening video.

-JR and the King welcome us to the show.

-Raw GM comes out to address the crowd. They are happy to see him and Regal plays the crowd a bit. He says Orton likes things in three’s so tonight Orton will have three singles matches against his possible Cyber Sunday opponents. First up is Jeff Hardy vs. Orton!

  • NON-TITLE MATCH: Jeff Hardy © vs. Randy Orton ©

    Orton stares down Regal and is not a happy camper. Tough shit Randy. see what I did there? Jeff gets an arm drag to start. Lock up, to the corner and shots to the ribs by Orton. Irish whip and Jeff moves and gets a series of arm drags. Arm bar by Jeff now, to the corner and an Irish whip, boots by Jeff and Jeff then clotheslines Orton to the floor. Basement dropkick and Orton is down on the floor. PLANCHA by Jeff! Well head to a commercial @ 1:35.

    Back from commercial @ 4:35 with Orton using a chinlock. Jeff fights to his feet, off the ropes and eats a snap powerslam for 2. Garvin Stomp by Orton. Tonight after Raw the entire Cyber Sunday card will be available on WWE.com. Knee drop by Orton and a cover for 2. Back to the chinlock now for Orton. Jeff escapes and gets a clothesline and both men are down. Rights by Jeff, a boot and flying forearm gets 2. Irish whip, whisper in the wind by Jeff gets 2. Boot by Jeff, reverse enziguri and the corner dropkick follows. Jeff up top…Kennedy is down, distracts Jeff and Orton crotches him on the top. RKO by Orton and that is all.

    Winner: Randy Orton @ 8:25 via pin

    -Orton and Kennedy stare down after the match. Kennedy makes the “I want the belt” motion.

    -Back from commercial and JR and King hype that they are in the UK.

    -Santino makes his way to the ring with a totally skanked out Maria. I approve. Santino has the mic and says hello to London. He is happy to be back in Europe. He does mention that Maria is more beautiful that Europe. He then buries England as a dreary place. He figures everyone is sad because they actually watched the Condemned. Tremendous.

  • Val Venis vs. Santino Marella

    Santino tries to attack at the bell but Val beats him down. Val tries to climb the ropes and Santino works the bad knee and traps him in the ropes. Elbows to the knees now by Santino. Single leg crab by Santino now, Val fights for the ropes, looks to tap but makes the ropes. Kicks to the legs by Santino but Val chops back. More leg kicks by Santino, Val kicks him away and then knees Santino. A clothesline connects. Another. Elbows now, Santino counters and kicks to the leg again. Santino falls on Val during a roll up try, grabs the ropes and wins the match. The end was really sloppy.

    Winner: Santino Marella @ 2:50 via pin

    -We get replays of the match.

    -We get a Diva Search Segment.

    -Coach and Carlito meet backstage and make small jokes about England. They discuss Horswoggle and Carlito asks about him beating Coach with his own cane. Coach is pissed, and says he thinks he should get rid of him. He has a plan. Hornswoggle is there and steals the apple. Coach is pissed and chases him. He runs well for a man that had a cane last week.

    -Back from commercial and Coach is still chasing Horswoggle. They run into catering and Horswoggle kicks plates at Coach. He then dives on him and escapes. Coach is pissed yet again.

    -JR and King make jokes and we see highlights of HHH getting beat down last week.

    -We see Vince staring at a picture of the Queen. He meets with Regal and asks how old the Queen is really. They move onto Regal making matches and Vince asks where HHH is. Regal says he is in no condition to perform. They discuss the pronunciation of Umaga’s name, and Vince promises a demonstration. You say U-MA-GA, I say YOU-MANG-A!

    -Back from commercial and time for Kennedy vs. Orton.

  • NON-TITLE MATCH: Randy Orton © vs. Mr. Kennedy

    Orton got a bit scratched upon his face from the first match. Lock up and headlock by Kennedy. Orton reverses that, Kennedy escapes and gets a roll up for 2. Back to the headlock, off the ropes and tackle an cover for 2 by Kennedy. Headlock again, Orton escapes and beats Kennedy down. Kennedy slammed to the corner, but fires back with rights. Orton fires back and then Kennedy sidesteps a dropkick and covers for 2. Knees by Kennedy, rights follow. Orton fires back now, upper cuts and Kennedy is down. Garvin stomp by Orton. Kennedy fights back and gets a roll up for 2. 3.0 by Orton connects, both fight to their feet and Kennedy goes for and gets the Kamikaze roll. Hardy is out, attacks Kennedy and we get a DQ.

    Hardy gets a swanton on Kennedy and then pulls the ropes down, sending Orton to the floor.

    Winner: Ken Kennedy @ 3:40 via DQ

    -They hype Orton vs. HBK for later tonight.

    -Back from commercial and Vince power walks his way to the ring. Vince says he amazes himself. He came up with Cyber Sunday, a WWE Fan’s dream come true. Where they get to log onto WWE.com. They determine matches, stipulations and other good things. He announces that HHH will face Umaga at Cyber Sunday. Vince says stipulation #1 will be a Street Fight. It is brutal. There will be a demonstration. Young Andy Simmonz will be the sacrificial lamb.

  • STREET FIGHT: Umaga vs. Andy Simmonz

    Umaga attacks and chops Simmonz down. They go to the floor and Umaga choke shim out with a cable. Umaga tosses him into the announce table, grabs a chair and slides it into the ring. Samoan Drop on the chair. 1…2…3.

    Winner: Umaga @ 1:35 via pin

    -Vince then says that is what will happen in the street fight. He also says that there is a first blood stipulation. Who ever bleeds first loses. We need a demonstration.

    FIRST BLOOD MATCH: Umaga vs. Andy Simmonz

    The refs toss him back into the ring, tree of woe by Umaga and he gets the running head butt. Samoan Clambake connects as well. Vince tells Umaga to finish him off and Umaga does he Samoan Spike like 10-times and Simmonz bleeds, it is over.

    Winner: Umaga @ 1:33 via First Blood

    -Vince says the kid is hurt and calls for medical attention. The Simmonz kid looks messed up an swollen. There is a cage and that is the third stipulation, the winner is by escape only. Vince tells Umaga to attack and he gets tossed in the ring. Vince talks us through what happened to “HHH.” He keeps calling Simmonz HHH. Now time for the cage match.

    STEEL CAGE MATCH: Umaga vs. Andy Simmonz

    Vince keeps yelling “that’s HHH, get him!” Umaga tosses Simmonz into the cage like a javelin. He does it again and Vince likes what he sees. Vince says, “Look at HHH…SIC HIM!” Umaga tosses Simmonz into the cage again, Vince opens the cage door and declares Umaga the winner as he exits.

    Winner: Umaga @ 1:25 via escape

    -Vince declares Umaga the winner for Cyber Sunday as well.

    -Back from commercial and Coach chases Hornswoggle. Coach falls down some steps, and Horswoggle gets on a tri-cycle, and then Coach gets on a bike and chases him. Cue Ron Simmons. Damn.

    -Jillian Hall makes her way to the ring. She gets the mic and says that Lillian’s performance last week was pathetic. Jillian says everyone hates it, and everyone knew she was lip synching. So tonight, Jillian shows us some video of Lillian performing last week. Lillian gets a huge pop for the video, and Jillian says they were some great fake musicians. Jillian then says no one understands Spanish. Jillian then says true singers get judged by singing by themselves. Jillian then sings a Spice Girls Song. Candice’s horrible music sounds good after that.

  • Jillian Hall vs. Candice Michelle

    Hall attacks as Candice makes her way into the ring. Candice gets a reversal, leg lariat and then a boot to the gut, and the Candy Wrapper (Unprettier) finishes it

    Winner: Candice Michelle @ 0:44 via pin

    -Beth Phoenix is backstage. She says next week Candice wants her rematch. She is the glamazon, and we shall worship her. Next week we will see Candice get on her knees. Are we getting porn or a match?

    -Cody Rhodes prepares backstage and BOBCORE HOLLY is there. He asks if Cody is sick of being beat yet. Cody says he can beat him and earn his respect. Holly says he was beating people up while Cody was swimming under his daddy’s polka dots. Holly slaps the BITCH out of Cody and says that’s the fire he wants to see.

    -Back from commercial and Cade and Murdoch are in the ring. They show off the titles and then head to the announce table.

  • Brian Kendrick w/Paul London vs. Rory McAllister w/Robby

    Kendrick attacks off the bat, leg kicks and clubbing shots to Rory. Rory then clotheslines Kendrick, and then lays the boots to him. A cover for 2. Stomps by Rory, double sledges now and kicks by Kendrick in return. To the floor Rory sends Kendrick, he climbs back in and beats the count. Rory covers for 2. Chinlock by Rory, Kendrick fights to his feet and elbows out but then gets slammed back into the chinlock. Kendrick fights out again, elbows out and eats a knee to the gut. Irish whip, boots by Kendrick and then a sweet leg lariat by Kendrick. London takes out Robby and Rory clotheslines Kendrick. Reverse slingshot suplex by Rory and that is all.

    Winner: Rory McAllister @ 3:20 via pin

    -London into check on Kendrick and the Highlanders stare down Cade and Murdoch.

    -We get clips of No Mercy and then HBK’s return last week on Raw.

    -Back from commercial and Todd is with HBK. It was only the beginning. Orton better watch out, because every time he turns around HBK will be there to kick his teeth down his throat. You can’t kill what’s not your creation. At Cyber Sunday, it will be HBK vs. Orton. And I will kick those teeth down your throat again, and it will be for the WWE Title.

    -We see Horswoggle running. He bails into the Diva’s locker room and Coach follows. Horswoggle escapes and Coach gets kicked out. Yeah.

    -We now get interrupted by a longer “Save_Us.222” video. King and JR speculate what it could mean.

    -Coach chases Horswoggle under the ring, and then gets a BIG RED BOX ala LOONY TUNES with the “pump handled detonator.” Coach says he has had it, and pushes it and nothing happens. Coach checks under the ring, Horswoggle is out, pushes the pump and we get wacky effects, smoke from under the ring and Horswoggle dances to his music. Coach comes out from under the ring and looks like Wile E. Coyote, SUPER GENIUS. This segment sponsored by ACME, blowing shit up for 78-years.

    -Back from commercial and we get video of Cody losing to Holly.

  • Hardcore Holly vs. Cody Rhodes

    Lock up and Rhodes with the early advantage, Tossed over the top, skins the cat and Holly levels him with a clothesline. Chops by Holly, but Rhodes back with boots. Chops to Holly and Rhodes fires up. Clubbing shots by Holly, off the ropes and Rhodes with a cross body for 2. Clothesline again by Holly, and Holly gets him in the ropes and beats down Rhodes. Snap mare by Holly into a headlock. Clubbing shots by Holly, to the ropes and Holly goes the hanging kick to the balls. Alabama Slam try, Rhodes rolls through and gets a roll up for 2. Small package gets 2. Crucifix gets 2 for Rhodes. A boot, and backslide by Rhodes gets 2. Boot by Holly, off the ropes and Holly misses a corner charge and Rhodes rolls him up for 2. Dropkick by Holly now, Holly goes up top… Rhodes up and Holly with a cross body, Rhodes rolls through and gets a 2 count. Alabama Slam by Holly finishes it.

    Winner: Hardcore Holly @ 3:55 via pin

    -Holly looks on at Rhodes, but then leaves. NO RESPECT FOR YOU!

    -Back from commercial and we see clips from around England.

  • NON-TITLE MATCH: Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton ©

    HBK needs to drop those gay tights for jeans or some shit that he can wear the knee braces with. That way he can just continue to look like Ted Nugent. They brawl to begin and HBK beats Orton down. To the floor and HBK is out to clothesline him. Back into the ring, HBK rolls up Orton for 2. Chops by HBK, they almost blow a reversal spot and Orton levels HBK with a back elbow. Orton sets HBK up top, rights by Orton and goes up with HBK. Superplex try, HBK fights and knocks Orton to the mat. Elbow drop by HBK connects. He tunes up the old band and Kennedy is out for the DQ.

    Winner: HBK @ 2:00 via DQ

    -Orton and Kennedy beat down HBK, hardy is out for the save. Orton tosses him to the floor, he stalks HBK…RKO countered and Orton flies into Kennedy knocking him to the floor and then HBK gets the superkick to take Orton out.


    We are back for another podcast adventure! This time it was the TNA Bound for Glory show, their biggest show of the year. We’ll discuss the new tag team champions, the first ever Women’s Champion, the new TNA World Champion and some damn fine matches, including Joe vs. Cage. We’ll also touch on the usually stupidity with run ins and why TNA gives Kevin Nash so many chances. Also the fact that we saw more of Kong than anyone ever anticipated! From their we’ll move onto DEAR CHIRSTI as well as stories of myself scoring the phone numbers of bridesmaids at a wedding this weekend! An hour of fun just for you!


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    Larry Csonka

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