411’s WWE RAW Report 12.11.17

Hey everyone! We’re approaching the end of the year, and some big news came out of the E today. Apparently, his match against Kane is a Number One Contender’s Match. So we get to see Kane vs Brock or Braun vs Brock pretty soon!

Also, Cesaro will be meeting up with Reigns in the ring to make him look strong.

All this and more! Let’s get to it!

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WWE thinks they’re some documentary on the History Channel and start RAW with a recap of last week as if Roman was a tough lion, being attacked by the fierce Samoa Joey for the keys to the kingdom. It doesn’t work well, but kudos for trying.

Back in real time, we are updated of a few matches for the evening. Samoa Joe is already in the middle of the ring. He says we have all heard of The Shield. These guys pounced on weakness like rabid dogs. Personally, Joe has seen The Shield up close, and he is NOT impressed. Not with the man whose leg he snapped on his first night. He’s not impressed with the human cockroach Dean Ambrose. He also is not impressed with a man who Joe has put to sleep time after time in this ring; Roman Reigns. Before he takes on Ambrose, he’s here to finish what he started with Reigns right now. Just Roman.

Backstage, Seth tells Dean to go get Roman. Joe tells Reigns that if it wasn’t for that silly bastard Jason Jordan, he would have destroyed Reigns. Joe then says it is because of him that The Shield doesn’t hold the tag team titles. There is nothing that Reigns can do about it. He punked Reigns out. If Reigns has an issue, he’ll come out and let’s face it, Joe doesn’t need anyone. He doesn’t care about anyone. His name is Samoa Joe, and he stands on his own two feet. If it wasn’t for The Shield, Roman would be nothing.

Reigns tells Seth and Dean that he’s got this, boys.

Here he comes…

He meets Joe in the ring and they go back and forth. Reigns gets the upperhand with stomps. Reigns corners him. Cesaro is here. Sheamus, too. They hop on the apron. Reigns sends them off. Joe locks in The Clutch. Sheamus and Cesaro beat down Reigns. Dean and Seth run down the ramp. They meet up with Cesaro and Sheamus at the bottom of the ramp. Dean hops off the steps onto the guys, while Joe has The Clutch on in the ring. Dean flies in to stop it. Sheamus knocks him out. Rollins is in. He gets triple teamed. Sheamus gets Seth with White Noise while Cesaro flies off the top rope. Dean climbs in the ring and they triple team him down too. Cesaro and Sheamus lift Dean, and Joe hits him with a hard Uranage.

Paige on the mic before the match says she got to squash a boss last week. This train will run through two more champs.

Match 1: Mickie James and Bayley (w/ Sasha Banks) vs Mandy Rose and Paige (w/ Sonya Deville)
Mandy and Bayley to start. Bayley with a Thesz Press. She sends Mandy into the corner and Paige gets a tag. Kick to Bayley. Bayley gets her in the corner. Tag to Mickie. They try to suplex Bayley, but Mandy is in to stop it. They send Paige to the outside then Mandy. The girls talk on the outside. Bayley and Mickie on the apron. Paige shoves Mandy as Bayley hops off the apron. Mickie is right after her, diving from the apron to Paige.

Back from a break, and Bayley hits some elbows to Mandy. Snapmare into a running elbow form Bayley. Clothesline and an elbow drop. Cover for 1..2..NO! Mandy with a hard kick and a cover for 1..2..NO! She gets Paige into the corner. Tag to Paige. Paige hits Bayley with knees on the apron. Paige drops Bayley in the center of the ring then hits a headbutt. She shoves Mickie off the apron then double teams Balyey in the corner. High running knee to Bayley. Pin for 1..2…NO! Bayley reaches for a tag, doesn’t get it. Then does. Tag to Mandy. Tag to Mickie. Mickie sends Paige off the apron. She clips Mandy. The crowd is kinda dead. Mickkie with a rigfht hand. She shoves Mandy’s head into the corner .Flapjack to Mandy. Kip up from Mickie. She looks for a corner. Sonya is on the apron. Mickie shoves her off. Mickie flies off the top rope and goes for a cover but Paige is in to stop it. Bayley in and sends Paige into the corner.

Mickie goes for the DDT but Paige gives her a superkick. Mandy covers for 1..2…3!!!!

Winner:
Pretty bland…
Match Quality: *
Personal Enjoyment: *
Total Rating: *

Bray Wyatt is here with his lantern. He is here. The screen breaks.

It’s Matt. He’s WOKEN!

We get a little break then come back to Bray Wyatt. He says it has always been dark vs light, good vs evil. It’s his favorite game.

Crack

Matt Hardy says the great war has been going on for eons. It continues on the battlefield known as WWE.

Crack

Bray says Matt is the ying to his yang. How he has been waiting for Matt.

Crack

Darkness has descended but his woken wisdom and broken brilliance shall illuminate the masses.

Crack

Bray says Matt is a liar.

Crack

Matt laughs maniacally.

Crack

Bray – His words mean nothing

Crack

Matt – The sould of Sister Abigail has been around for eternity. She contracted an addiction to the darkness and was consumed by evil. Her horrendous soul is the prominent passenger in the vessel known as Bray Wyatt.

Crack

Bray – Choose your side wisely, only one of us can survive.

Crack

matt- The woken warriors are preparing for battle, and they shall….DELETE!

Crack

Bray – Chuckles

Crack

Matt – Chuckles

Crack

Bray – Laughs

Crack

Matt – Laughs without breating

Crack

Bray – Laughs without blinking. Then stops.

Crack

Matt – Laufghs until he is no longer audible, takes a bite out of the air.

Crack

Samoa Joe – NOT IMPRESSED

Recap of Nia hitting on Enzo.

He is backstage hitting on his title. He calls in Gulak, who is wearing the JBL special. WWE has revoked Swann’s opportunity. Tonight there is a second chance Fatal Four Way who will face Gulak next week. The winner, who will be Drew, will face Enzo.

Enzo says regardless of who will be facing him, Nia Jax, it doesn—

Gulak brings up Nia, asks if he just said Nia Jax. He then sees the light; Gulak says it’s a lesson. Enzo wants Gulak to be prepared for anyone, even Nia.

Enzo says yep.

Before the match officially starts, both Bo and Axel double team and beat finn up a bit. They get him in the corner until the ref stops the beatdown. The bell rings. bneck. Cou

Match 2: Finn Balor vs Curtis Axel
Snapmare takedown. Cover from Axel. 1…2.NO! Cravat from behind. Axel is up and sends Finn back down. He scrapes the face. Balor is able to break the hold. He ducks a right. Chop t othe chest from Finn. Duck and a slingblade by Balor. He is up in the corner. He rushes and hits a dropkick to Axel.

Axel shows injury to the neck. Coup De Grace. Cover for 1..2…3!!

Winner: Finn Balor
Meh
Match Quality: NR
Personal Enjoyment: NR
Total Rating: NR

Match 3: Seth Rollins vs Sheamus
Seth starts with the chops. Sheamus lifts but Seth lands on his feet. He sends Sheamus to the outside then goes for a suicide dive right into Sheamus! Seth grabs Sheamus and tosses him into the barricade. He sends Sheamus face first into the apron then rolls him inside and follows. Axe handle from Sheamus. Sheamus with a short clothesline. Seth stands in the corner. Sheamus with an uppercut. He goads the crowd. Sheamus drops a knee then stomps the face and holds it. Side slam onto the knee. Cover for 1…NO! Sheamus sends Seth intoo the corner hard face first. Hard right to the kidney. Again to the back. Stomps in the corner. Sheamus goes for a kick but misses. Seth with a kick to the back of the neck. Rollins with some right hands. Chop then right back anfd forth. Sheamus misses a clothesline. Seth hits a slingblade. Seth to the 2nd rope. Blockbuster to Sheamus! Seth sends him over the top rope! Rollins looks to fly but Sheamus stops him then hits a hard kick, sending Rollins off the apron!

Back from a break, and Sheamus has a hold on from behind. Jawbreaker from Seth. This releases the hold. Seth is up in the corner. Goes for a kick, but Sheamus hits him in the face with a right elbow. He lifts the left leg then tosses Seth to the center of the ring by the leg! He torques the knee then drives a knee of his own into it. Stretch muffler from Sheamus! Seth tries to use his core to break out. He sits up on the sholders then rolls through, but Sheamus turns and locks in the Cloverleaf! Seth is kind of close to the ropes. He reaches for them, but Sheamus brings him to the center. Seth rolls onto his back and gets in a small package. Pin for 1..2..NO!!! Sheamus goes for a hard slam, but Seth reverses and plants Sheamus down face first! Pin for 1…2..NO!!! Sheamus rushes the corner for a spear, but Seth moves. He rolls up Sheamus and gets a 1..2..NO! Superkick from Seth and a pin! 1..2…NO! Seth locks up from behind. Elbow to the nose. Sheamus lifts Seth then drops his leg onto the top rope. Sheamus heads to the top corner. Seth is up to stop him. Right hand and Sheamus is in a seated position. Sheamus hits a headbutt. Again. This one causes Seth to tumble. Seth rushes up. Locks the head. SUPERPLEX to Sheamus! Falcon Arrow to Sheamu! Cover for 1…2…NO!!!! Both men are down. They eventually rise, look for a move on each other, Sheamus takes advantage of the bum knee. Rolling Senton. Sheamus wants the Brogue. He waits for Seth to stand. Seth turns, Sheamus goes for it, misses.

Superkick from Seth! He turns Sheamus. Knee to Sheamus in the face! Cover for 1…2..3!!!!

Winner: Seth Rollins
Good match
Match Quality: ***
Personal Enjoyment: ***
Total Rating: ***

Dean does an interview with wife where he says he’s ready to get his hands on Samoa Joe.

Match 4: Tony Nese vs Mustafa Ali vs Cedric Alexander vs Ariya Daivari
Mustafa and Ariya go at it while Cedric and Nese go at it. Whip to Mustafa and he hits a dropkick off the rebound, sending Ariya to the otuside. Cedric hits a leg lock on the neck and head scissors Nese to the outside. Cedric shoots for Ali and he and Cedric trade some pins back and forth. Cedric with a backslide into a side headlock for Ali. Ali hops over, and we get a stalemate. Elbow from Ali. Chop to the chest. Whip into an uppercut. Ali falls forward and shoves Cedric to the outside. Nese underhooks Cedric. Ali to the top rope. He front flips on top of both men! Ariya is in the ring now and locks in a chinlock from behind. Cedric with a right. Ariya sends hi to the outside. Cedric lands on the apron. Shoulder then a springboard too bad ass for words move and a cover for 1..2..N O! Nese is in and slides Alexander directly into the turnbuckle face first. Chop to Nese from Ali. Tony slides under for a pumphandle, but Ali reverses. Tony whips and hitts a right hand. Whip to Cedric is reversed and Ariya hits a hard right hand to Nese. Cedric hits Daivari with a hard right. Ali with a sick DDT. All four men down.

We are back and Ali is in a cravat from Ariya. Right hand from Ali. Whip to the rope is cut short with a spinebuster. Cover for 1..2..NO! Ariya with a side headlock on the mat. Ali turns into the hold. Ariya clubs the back. he sends Ali into the corner .Ali stops it, slides through the ropes, high kick to Ariya. he dives in, then hits an X-Factor onto Ariya! Tony is back in the ring. He locks up from behind then eats an elbow. Whip to Ali, who lifts up with an uppercut, sending Tony down. Ariya runs up and gets hit then Tony runs and hits an uppercut to Ali. Nese sits Ali up in the corner .He locks up from behind. Elbow to the face from Ali. He is on the top rope. He hits an 054 splash and a pin for 1..2..NO! Ali and Cedric lock up in the middle of the ring. They trade right hands. Elbow from ALi. Slap to the afce. Ali hits the ropes. Spanish Fly, but Cedric bounces right out of it and hits a Lumbar Check! Ariya sends Cedric to the outside. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Cedric pulls him out of the ring! They go right and right over and over till Nese flies over the top rope onto them!! He sends Cedric into the ring, seated in the corner. Nese moves the elbow pad down. He rushes the corner with a hard knee to the face of Cedric! Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Ali stops the pin!!! Nese is up first. He calls Ariya into the ring. They stare down ALi. Ali tries to fight out. Nese and Ariya double team him down. Whip and Ali kicks Ariya, eats right from Nese, then sends him to the outside. Cedric flies with a springboard clothesline! Ariya with a roll up holding the tights for 1..2..NO!!

Springboard high kick to Ariya! He sends Nese off the apron! Lumbar check! Cover for 1..2….3!!!

Winner: Cedric Alexander
Ya see what happens when you give these guys some damned time?!
Match Quality: ***1/2
Personal Enjoyment: ****
Total Rating: ***3/4

Enzo is in the back. Drew comes up and says he’ll be facing Enzo soon to become the champion. Enzo takes offense. Gulak says it’s just friendly banter. Enzo says they are not friends. Gulak works for Enzo. Gulak wins ONE match and thinks they’re equals? Enzo will keep it real…he then calls his PP presentations….there’s only one word to describe them…

Gulak says, “Informative!”

haha. Enzo shoos him away. In comes Nia. She says it’s good to see Enzo. Gulak is back. Nia says she likes the powerpoint presentations. Enzo says he agrees. Nia wants to talk to Enzo when he isn’t busy.

Roman comes out after Cesaro all smug and shit…

Match 5: Intercontinental Championship Match
Cesaro vs Roman Reigns
Reigns starts hard with a right hand. Cesaro with some uppercuts but he’s met with right clotheslines from Cesaro. He beats down Cesaro in the corner wiht a few clotheslines but Cesaro stops one and hops over the ropes, then hangs Reigns up on it! He sends Reigns into the ropes with a right, and Reigns fires back hard! He hits a clothesline, sending Cesaro over the top rope.

Back from a break and Cesaro has the upperhand. We missed Cesaro swinging Reigns into the barricade hard. Looked good. He’s iun the middle of the ring, working the right arm some more. Reigns tries to stand while in the hold. He turns so Cesrao hits a hard clothesline and covers for a 1..2..NO!! Cesaro works the fingers of the right arn, driving his knee into the arm. Cesaro continues to work the ar, twisting the fingers. Reigns is able to turn and break the hold. Reigns with a right, niside cradle for 1..2.NO! Backslide attemp[t but Cesaro is holding onto it. Reigns eventualkly gets it. 1.2.NO! Cesaro goes for a splash, but Reigns moves. Rollup for 1..2…NO!!!! Cesaro drops some boots on the shoulder. He drops his fist a few times on the shoulder tthen gets a nice little arm bar. He rolls to the center of the ring and continues to hold the arm in a submission. Reigns sends Cesaro into the corner. Reigns with a sorta powerbomb. He’s using his lefft hand for all ofthis. Reigns with a cover. 1..2..NO!! Reigns waits for Cesaro. He stnads. Reigns wants a Supernman Punch, but Cesaro blocks it! He locks in an arm bar then switches it to a Crossface. Reigns is able to get him on his shoulder. Samoan Drop! Reigns is up in the corner. He wants the SUperman Punch! UPPERCUT FROM CESARO!!! Reigns to the outside. Cesaro follows. Reigns uses the steps for the Superman Punch.

Back in the ring and Reigns wants another right hand. He calls for a spear, and runs into a kick. Another. Lift. Uppercut to Reigns! Cover for 1……2…………NO!!! CROSSFACE!!!! Cesaro releases, Shootss the legs! He wants the wsweing, but Reigns blocks, Cesaro lifts him. Reigns elbows and lifts up Cesaro on h is own for a powerbomb! Both men on their knees. Right hands from both guys back and forth. Reigns gets the upperhand but it looks like Cesaro dropped the mouthguard. Ref tries to stop the guys from fighting but Reigns with an inside cradle! 1…2…NO!!!! Cesaro yells at the ref! Uppercut from Cesaro! He hits another a bunch in the corner. Again! He sets up for the Nuetralizer!

Reigns with a back body drop! SPEAR! Cover for 1..2…..3!!!

Winner:
Great match, and of course, Reigns will get all the credit by the WWE.
Match Quality: ***1/2
Personal Enjoyment: ***1/2
Total Rating: ***1/2

Asuka comes out for her match. Alicia Fox’s music hits but she is nowhere to be seen. Paige’s music hits then, and Absolution comes out.

Paige wonders where Alicia is. They try and figure it out then look to the tron. Alicia is holding her elbow and is talking to a ref and hardly sells anything…what the hell?

Anyway, Paige says they’ve let Asuka walk away, but she’s kind of in the way now. They have eradicated every women on the roster, but the last beacon of hope is Asuka. No one can stop them, though. So either Asuka moves out of the way, or they make her move out of the way.

They hop on the apron, circling Asuka. Paige repeats herself. They hop on the apron. Paige says it’s time to meet them.

Paige drops the mic and Asuka knocks Mandy off the apron. Deville comesw in and Asuka knocks her on her asss. Paige attacks and Asuka locks in the arm bar!!!! Sonya and Mandy run in. They attack and Paige hits a knee. The girls beat her down. Paige is about to hit the Rampaige, but the entire roster comes odwn the ramp!

Dana Brook slips on the apron. Funny but kinda sad.

Everyone is in the ring. Nia has Paige up, Paige slips off. KKick from Sasha. Nia looks lost as fuck. This is dumb as hell. Mandy kicks Mickie ing the corner and Alexa just kind of stands there. This is dumb as shit.

Paige and Deville are on the outside. They drag Mandy out. Alicia is here, too. You know, the girl who was just so injured she couldn’t compete….

Wow, that was dumb.

Backstage, Angle is telling some dweeb he needs the ring reinforced. In comes Jordan who wants to apologize for last week. His emotions got the best of him. He then lets his emotions get the best of him and gets mad that he didn’t have a match with Joe. He says he’s the only one that can beat Joe. He’s held his own with Braun, Roman, Kane, Cena.

Angle says, as the GM, holding your own isn’t winning, the names that you mentioned, he almost beat them but didn’t really beat any of them. He will get the match with Joe when Angle says so.

Jordan then acts like he’s no Degrassi and says, “Ok Dad…or maybe I should say, ‘Ok Kurt.'”

Jason Jordan pulls a Samoa Joe and sits on the top of the ramp with a chair.

Match 6: Dean Ambrose vs Samoa Joe
Joe gets distracted and Dean takes advantage, but it’s short lived and Joe hits some kjnees to Dean. he hits a few jabs then hits the ropes. Dropkick to the knee by Dean. He grabs the leg of Joe then hits a shoulder .Dean beats down on the head then sends Joe to the outside. He hits a forerarm to the back of the head then a side russian leg sweep into the barricade. Dean with a kick to the thigh. Another. He clips the leg then sends Joe into the ring. Dean hops off the top rope, rols through, shoots for the corner, Joe moves, high kick to the face. Dean rolls to the outside.

We are back, and I missed a bit due to bowel movements. JOe is being distracted by Jason and Dean hits a knee to the back of Joe. Joe sets up for a powerbomb and looks to send Dean to the outside, but Dean hooks the head and both men tumble to the outside. Jordan is super close. He goes to lift Dean and sends him into the ring. From behind, Joe locks in The Clutch to Jordan! Suicide Dive from Dean onto both men!!! He grabs Joe and sends him into the ring. Dean hits the corner. He’s looking to fly. Jordan on the apron, yelling at the ref. Ambrose with an elbow to the head. He covers Joe. The ref is busy with Jordan. Cole counts the 3. Ref slides into position. 1…2…NO!!!! Ambrose sees how and why Joe kicked out. Ambrose is pissed. He heads to the outside and gets in the face of Jordan. He then shoves Jordan. Jordan locks up, looking to hit a suplex, but Joe hits a suicide dive of his own!!! He hits a senton onto Jordan!

Back in the ring, he locks The Clutch in the middle of the ring onto Dean. Ambrose tries to fight out. His legs are stirring. Dean looks to sleep. He’s out. Ref calls it.

Winner:
So Jordan’s role is basically that of a pest?
Match Quality: **1/2
Personal Enjoyment: **
Total Rating: **1/4

Backstage, Dana is talking to Apollo and Titus. She is so excited, and it appears as though she will be the new Titus Worldwide member. Apollo welcomes her oddly.

In come Gallows and Anderson. They call Titus and Co nerds.

Braun comes screaming, causing the others to step aside.

Video package while the goons “reinforce” the ring.

Main Event: Braun Strowman vs Kane
Braun is quick to beat down Kane then hit a freaking dropkick in the middle of the ring. Kane with a kick. He whips Brauin, but Braun reverses and whips kane into the steps. Oh, they’re on the outside. Braun sends Kane into the ring. Kane with a kick to Braun as he is getting back into the ring. Braun no sells it. Kane backs up. Braun with a right hand then a headbutt. Upercut. Braun hits the corner. Goes for a splash. Kane side steps, goes for a chokeslama and hits it! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Kane beats Braun down with right hands. Kane beats down Braun a bit more, mounting. Kane is up. He waits. Braun slowly rises. He turns. Chokeslam attempt number two. He hits it! Cover for 1..2…NO!!! kane shows frustration. Kane grabs the neck and raises Braun up. Bruan grabs the neck too and hits a chokeslam of his own. Pin for 1..2..NO! They head to the outside. They wrestle a bit near the barricade. Braun runs through Kane into the barricade, crushing it, and the ref hits 10!!!!

The crowd is pissed.

Winner: Double Countout

Match Quality: Meh
Personal Enjoyment: Meh Meh
Total Rating: Meh 1/2

Braun grabs the leg of Kane. Kane kicks Braun away. Kane crawls away. Braun waits for Kane to stand. He grabs some steps. Kane grabs some of his own. They smack stairs in the air! Braun grabs a table and sends it into the ring. Kane rolls out. He grabs a chair and smacks the leg of Braun. Kane heads in the ring. He goes to smack Braun, but Braun hits a right hand. Chair to the back of Braun! Another chair shot! Kane gets a hit to the neck. Another smack. Kane….FALLS! haha. He fell. Kane grabs the table and sets it up near the corner.

Double clothesline in the middle of the ring! Both men down! Kane sits up! Braun sits up!! Braun turns his head to Kane. They stare each other down. Kane backs up frightened. Ok, what? kane sits in the corner. He stnads. braun runs…right into a chokeslam attempt. Kane wants a chokeslam into the table. Braun puls the hand away! He grabs Kane! RUNNING POWERSLAM INTO THE TABLE!!!

Braun’s music hits, and it looks like that’s all she wrote.

End Show