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411’s WWE Raw Report 12.2.19

December 2, 2019 | Posted by Tony Acero
Seth Rollins Raw 12-2-19

Y’all see that damned Fiend title!?!?

Charley is chillin, waitin for AOP, who show up in a dark vehicle. She asks them why they attacked Owens, and they reply in their native tongues. They then say that she looks lovely tonight.

Seth Rollins’ music hits, but that’s not the good news! Samoa Joe is on commentary! Woo hoo!

Seth brings up last week and says that he was a bit harsh, but it was coming from a really good place – his heart. This is not just his job, it’s his life, and the peeps in the back are family. He thought about it all week and he’d like to apologize. He then calls out Owens.

Owens wonders about a particular scent. He says that it smells like when the rodeo comes to Nashville, the animals, there’s something, a certain scent. He brings up AOP, and Seth says he had nothing to do with that, and knows not why they attacked him. Owens says he knows Seth is lying simply because his lips were moving, and that smell he was referring to is BULLSHIT. Seth swears he wouldn’t do that to them.

The lights go out.

The AOP is here. They speak in their native tongue to the chant of what while Joe agrees heavily with everything they’re saying.

AOP challenges Seth and Owens in a tag match, tonight.

Seth says he’s down. He wants to “do this thing.” Loser.

Owens considers it, then says that one of three things can happen, and all of them end with the three of them beating Owens down. He’s not falling for it, so let’s just get the attack over right now. Owens drops the mic

Seth says he’s on his own, man, and walks out of the ring and up the ramp. He stops in the face of AOP, and they step aside, letting him walk to the back.

Owens tries to goad AOP down, but they laugh at him and head to the back. Owens still wants some action, so he calls for a match.

We return from a break, and Owens is still in the middle of the ring, waiting for a fight.

Oh joy, it’s Lana. Owens is annoyed. She milks her entrance for no discernable reason, and although she doesn’t want to make it all about her, it is, in fact, all about her.

Owens yells that no one cares. Lana says she’s not done. Owens is on his knees, saying he is vomiting in his mouth right now.

Lana says that Rusev Day is not going to be here tonight. Truth is, she filed a restraining order again, today, in the state of Tennessee. He is a danfer to all of us and to society, and if he shows up, he’s going to jail.

“I have never met someone who talks so much and manages to say absolutely nothing.” – Owens

Owens says that on the inside, she is repulsive. She calls Owens a basic candy and pizza eater, every day man. Her hot boyfriend is going to come out and finish Owens.

Owens can’t wait.

Match 1: Kevin Owens vs Bobby Lashley

Lashley shoves Owens from out of the corner, but Owens rushes him with a few punches. Lashley sends Owens into the corner. Boot out of the corner. Owens hits the ropes, leap frog, lift up then spinebuster from Lashley. There are two dudes flanking Lana outside the ring. On the outside, Owens sends Lashley into the post then hits a frogsplash off the apron.

We return and Lashley is out in the corner. Cannonball from Owens. He pins for 1..2…NO!!!! Owens hops to the corner and hits a moonsault off the 2nd rope! Lashley rolls out of the wy. He then hits a right to the head, again. Another. Stomp from Lashley. Lashley pulls up the chin of Owens and hits a few crossfaces. Lashley poses. He looks like what poop would look like if he had a face. Lashley hits the ropes. SUPERKICK! Huge kick from Lashley followed by a pin for 1..2…NO!!! Lashley waits for Owens to stand. He goes for a Full Nelson. Elbow from Owens to the face! He breaks the hold. Lashley pops up. POWERBOMB from Owens!!!

Out comes AOP! Owens goes on the attack and we get a DQ.

Winner: Kevin Owens via DQ
Lana, as a character, makes no sense.
Match Quality: *
Personal Enjoyment: NR
Total Rating: ½*

AOP quickly takes over, and beats owens down, then rolls him to the outside, ignoring Lashley, who heads out of the ring and tells Lana they should bounce. AOP send Owens into the barricade. AOP beat Owens up the ramp. Owens with a right. AOP attacks! Stomps and kicks. They slam Owens head against the ramp then drag him up the ramp to the back.

Charley is in the ring with Lashley after the break. He says he was about to beat Kevin. The only thing he worried about, honestly, was that Lana was ok. Lana is tired of everyone booing them. She had to hire detectives to protect her and them from Rusev.

Rusev is in the crowd. He hops the barricade and gives Lashley a big ol Superkick, then beats down on Rusev as the “detectives” show zero sense of urgency.

Rusev leaves the ring. The detectives stand by, completely aloof. Seriously, these guys are horrible. So much, in fact, that Lashley gets in their faces and says that in Tennessee, they do things differently. Lashley shoulder checks one of the detectives, and the old white guy brings out the script for the Miranda, while the other dude cuffs Lashley.

Lana starts finger wagging over and over, then slaps a cop. Charley is in shock. Lana in cuffs, next. This is dumb, and I am dumb for watching.

Back, for what is now the third segment in a row that has something to do with Lana and Lashley, to recap what we just saw.

Lana goes full white girl and threatens to sue everyone.

Street Profits and R-Truth are shown watching their brethren lose their life to another white chick.

Match 2: Drew McIntyre vs Akira Tozawa

Drew offers to drop to his knees, and tells Akira to leave the ring or he’s going to beat his ass. Akira fakes it and dropskicks Drew. Shove to the ropes, Drew gets tossed outside. Akira with a suicide dive headbutt straight to the chest of Drew, but he just bounces off and sends Akira into the barricade. Drew lifts Akira with one hand via the leg and hits an Alabama Slam into the mat on the outside. He lifts Akira, firemans, and sends him into the ring. Drew pulls under the chin. HUGE CHOP to Akira. Overhead belly to belly suplex to Akira! He grabs Akira by the leg and beats him down with a few rights. He pulls back on the chin and the arm, telling Akira that he warned him. Akira looks to escape the match with his head by hitting a swinging kick from the apron and a dropkick from the top rope. He flies to the top of Drew’s head, falls back, holds onto the roes, rolls forward, grabs the leg for a pin. Gets 1..2….NO!!!

Both men hit the ropes. CLAYMORE KICK!!! Pin for 1..2….3!!!!!

Winner: Drew McIntyre
Daaaaamn, Drew!
Match Quality: *
Personal Enjoyment: ****
Total Rating: **1/2

Drew says there is an issue with people today where people go straight to social media, being all cryptic about it, because they’re a bunch of cowards. Not Drew, though. He’s going straight to the point. “Randy Orton, I’ve got a problem with you.” He asks Orton to come to the ring now so they can talk about it.

We come back to RAW last week where Drew and Orton have a chop off, ending with a thumb to the eye. He calls it Stupid three times, then tells Orton to get out here now.

Orton comes out, peeved that this was the issue, a little chop battle. It annoys him. Drew tells him to look at him when he talks to him, and not to turn his back on ihm. Orton turns and stares Drew down. Drew says that Orton walks around like he owns the place with no respect, and has always done this. He gets it, he’s Randy Orton. The 13 time World Champ, future Hall of Famer, but this doesn’t give him any right to speak to Drew like he’s a damn child. Orton WAS the most ferocious man in all of the WWE in the past, but 2019 Orton is only ferocious at posting on social media. Drew will tell him who he is. He is bigger, stronger, the most ferocious man in the WWE today. He will make it very simple: Orton is Past, Drew is Future. RKO out of nowhere – done, Claymore out of nowhere – in.

Orton doesn’t think there is a Drew/Randy problem, he thinks there is a Drew/Reality problem. Orton does what he wants when he wants because he has earned the right to do so. Drew hasn’t earned a damned thing. Check it out, though, they are good. They are cool. But if Drew still thinks they have a problem, then they can solve said problem right now.

THE OC is here to interrupt the fun.

They say that Orton ruined AJ’s life. He is responsible for AJ losing the US Title. AJ is not ok, and it’s Orton’s fault. He doesn’t care what kind of match as long as he gets his hands on Orton tonight.

Drew says this doesn’t seem like a Drew problem, so he’s gonna head out like Spongebob.

All of The OC hop on the apron, wih Orton in the middle, ready for it. He slithers towards AJ, then goes to attack! 3 on 1, and Orton goes down with a clipped leg.

Ricochet’s music hits, and out comes Ricky Raccoon. He gets attacked by all three people, though, so that’s short lived.

Humberto is out next, running down the ramp and getting his ass attacked by The OC just like Ricochet. THEY are saved by Rey Mysterio, who comes down with a head scissors, holding the rope to send Gallows over the top rope, then Ricochet hitting a kick to Anderson, sending him to the outside.

Backstage, Orton tells the Three Little Pigs that although he appreciates the assistance, he didn’t need it.

Tony Nese is in the ring to die at the hands of someone.

Match 3: Tony Nese vs Aleister Black

Lockup to start, and Tony with a go behind. Black reverses, so Tony works the hand. He spins, Black breaks th hold and gets a headlock takedown, but Black is able to reverese, dodges a kick to the head, goes for a kick to the head of Tony, and neither get the upperhand. Blak backs Nese into the ropes, Black rolls over, and a leg sweep sends Tony flying. Black hits the ropes, springboard, lands on his feet, then sits cross-legged. Nese gets back into the ring and tells Black to stand up. Black just sits there. Nese goes for a kick, but Black ducks it, stands, kicks, and sends Nese into the roes. Nese with a huge hit, sending Black to the ropes. He hits an uppercut to the gut, another. Whip, Nese slides underneath, for a pumphandle, but Black floats over. Back elbow from Nese, then he drops Black onto the top rope and flies outsid,e landing on his feet. He hits the ropes, moonsault, but Black got the knees up. He hits a knee in the center of the ring. Another. Kick, back elbow, high knee to the face.

Black Mass from Black ends it.

Winner: Aleister Black

Match Quality: *
Personal Enjoyment: **
Total Rating: *1/2

Buddy Murphy was watching backstage, and Charley wants to know why. He says that he wants to expose Black for what he is – a man who takes himself too seriously. Aleister is a hot head. He needs to calm down. IF he doesn’r want ot calm down, then he’ll help him.

Match 4: Andrade v Eric Young

Not even going to lie; I knocked out and missed the start of Eric Young v Andrade…Andrade wins by pulling the leg out from under him and running with a knee to the face. He works the arm from behind. Young with a back elbow. A clothesline. Whip to the corner, reversed, run under, high kick to the face, and a running wheelbarrow, but Eric turns it into a neckbreaker! Young calls for the elbow.

Andrade is up! He clips the leg. Hammerlock DDT. Pin for 1..2…3!!!

Winner: Andrade
Match Quality: **1/2
Personal Enjoyment: **1/2
Total Rating: **1/2

Truth runs down the ramp and hides behind the barricade with a couple of fans that I don’t know. The goons run down, and these two send them somewhere else. I am informed that it is Kyle Busch, who rolls Truth up, allowing his buddy with a ref shirt to count the pin.

Backstage, Charley wants to know why Seth didn’t help Owens. Seth says he tried to help and offered his help. Owens didn’t want his help.

Charley says there are people that question the sincerity of his apology. What do we want from him, asks Seth. It seems like a no-win situation for him. He is the bad guy; it’s always his fault. What’s the point? Everyone is a critic, but not everyone has the guts to be a leader.

We are reminded of that huge “moment” and “miracle” that was Rey winning the US title last week.

Rowan is talking to a cage of nothing again.

Match 5: Erick Rowan vs No Way Jose

The bell rings, and Rowan goes to attack the conga line for trying to check out his GoPro. Jose is there with his Fuck Jerry pants and gets tossed into the steps. Rowan chases away the conga line then rolls in and out of the ring to brak the count. He sees Jose, and runs to truck him down outside the ring.

Erick rolls Jose into the ring and hits two chokeslams. Pin. 1..2..3!!!

Winner: Erick Rowan
Match Quality: NR
Personal Enjoyment: NR
Total Rating: NR

Backstage, Rowan is asked “What’s in the cage” three times, but he doesn’t answer.

he girls attack Charlotte immediately, in the corner. They stomp her out until the ref holds one of them back. Asuka dances while Joe encourages her. Charlotte stands in the corner, and it looks like the match has not yet strated.

Match 6: Charlotte Flair vs The Kabuki Warriors

The bell officialy rings, and the girl are on the attack yet again. Asuka is on the apron, and gets a tag, so she comes in with some kicks in the corner. Asuka tags in Kairi. She sends Charlotte into the corner. Sane steps on Charlotte’s chest and tags in Asuka. Asuka enters to send Charlotte in the corenr Tag to Kairi. Double team but Charlotte kicks Asuka then sends Sane to the outside. Asuka with abooty bump. Asuka kicks Charlotte in the corner. She drops Asuka down. Another kick to Sane. Charlotte with a baseball slide to the outside. She grab Asuka off the ground, pulling her hair, and gets punched by Asuka. Asuka sends Charlotte into the ring. She kicks. Sane is up and on the apron. Asuka whips, Charlote floats over, hits a shoulder, but Sane is there to pull the leg out from under Charlotte. Charlotte is able to send her into the barricade, though, and chops her down. Asuka on the apron, hits a running kick to Charlotte. Charltote on the apron. Asuka rushes her, but Charlotte moves and Kairi gets knocked off the apron. Big Boot from Charlotte. She grabs the ropes and fies over them onto the Warriors.

Back from a break, and Sane is tunin up before running with an elbow. Cover for 1..2.. NO! Charlotte corners Sane, but Asuka tags in and hits a right. A other. Charlotte fires back. Asuka with another one. She ducks a ight, Charlotte with a back elbow and backs into the orner. Elbow again. She goes for a big boot, but asuka locks the ankle, locks up behind, GERMAN! Tag to Sane. Sane to the top rope. She flies right into a boot to the face. Another boot to Asuka. Charlotte rolls both chicks to the corner. She’s up to the top rope. Moonsault. Knees are up! Sane is first. She hits the ropes, shoots forward, but Charlotte grabs the legs and we get a Walls of Jericho! Kick from Asuka breaks the submission. Asuka drags her partner to the corner and gets a tag. Top rope, Asuka launches her self. Dropkick. Cover for 1….2…NO!!! Asuka kicks. Charlotte catches one. Forearm. Kick from Asuka. She hit the ropes, Charlotte hits the ropes, Asuka drops, Charlotte grabs the legs. She kicks Asuka, grabs the leg, goes for the Figure Four, but Asuka grabs the arm during the twist. Charlotte looks to stop the hold, but Asuka locks in a leg scissors. Charlotte uses her strength to lift Asuka then hits a powerbomb. Cover for 1…NO!!! Sane stops the pin. Asuka heads to the top rope. Sane does, my bad. Charlotte follows. Sane fights her down, Charlotte locks the head. Rights to the side. Asuka with a tag. She hops to the top as well, but Charlotte locks the head of Asuka and Sane. Sane and Asuka lift Charlotte up and drop her down har.d Sane from the top rope, stomps Charlotte. Asuka pins for 1..2…NO!!! Charlotte side steps some offense then hits a double spear to Asuka and Sane. Cover for 1…2…NO!!!! Charlotte drives some knees into ASuka’s leg then drops Sane off the apron. Tag from Sane. SPEAR TO ASUKA! Figure Four attempt, but the tag was made. Asuka drags herself to the corner.

Charlotte lifts into the Figure Eight. Sane with an elbow drop onto Charlotte! Pin for 1..2….3!!!!

Winners: The Kabuki Warriors
A pretty meh match for most of it, with a somewhat exciting ending.
Match Quality: **
Personal Enjoyment: **
Total Rating: **

Backstage, Charlotte is asked if she regrets challenging The Kabuki Warriors. Charlote says no and walks away.

The Viking Raiders, you know – the Tag Team Champions – are in, yet another, squash match.

Backstage, Ricochet wants to talk about freckles, and how close we can get to his face and count them. Rey and Humberto are with him to talk about their love for each other.

Match 7: Humberto Carrillo, Ricochet, and Rey Mysterio vs The OC

Anderson and Humberto to start. Side headlock nto a takedown, and Carrillo hops over Anderson like nothing. Roll. Up, dodges a kick, misses a kick, and ends with one to the back of the head of Anderson. Humberto tags in Ric who whips and they double elbow Anderson. We then get a springboard lift up of Anderson and a cover for 1..2…NO!!! Uppercut. Tag to Humberto. Tag to AJ. Kick, high kick, then a back flipping headbutt from Carrillo. AJ throat thrusts and talks some shit to Ric. Whip from AJ. Kick from Humberto, and AJ kicks the back of the head while Aj distracts the ref. On the outside, Gallows hits a huge clothesline to Humberto. AJ grabs him and sends him into the barricade. AJ sends Humberto back in the ring. He drags him into the heel corner and tags in Gallows, who runs in with an elbow drop to the head. High kick from Gallows. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Cravat immediately from Gallows. Humberto turns into so Gallows knocks his ass down. Humberto with a jawbreaker. Gallows holds the leg, so Humberto hits an enziguri. Tag to Rey. Tag to Anderson. Rey with a seated senton. He knocks off AJ, kicks Anderson, whip, reverse, kick from Rey, hurricanrana, Anderson to the outside. Gallows enters the ring and attacks the back then goes for some snake eyes, but Rey sends him into the ringpost. Aj in, he sends Rey onto the apron. Kick from Rey. 619 around the ring post to Gallow! Rey to the top rope, but AJ slinks underneath him and spins for a possible powerbomb, but Rey with the head scissors. Goes for the 619, but Anderson grabs Rey mid move and sends him int othe barricade!

We are back, and Gallows has the upperhand against Rey. He gets a cover for 1..2..NO!!! Luke with a big boot and a cover for 1..2..NO!!! Tag to Karl, who comes in to pull at the chin of Rey. Cravat from behind. Rey with an elbow, he flies off the top backwards and sends Anderson into the buckle. Rey reaches for a tag. Tag to AJ. Tag to Riciochet. Duck under a clothesline, right hand to AJ, a head scissors to AJ, kip up, Ric runs and dropkicks Gallows. Headbutt t the gut in the corner, kick to the face, clothesline off the top rope! Standing Shooting Star Press and a cover for 1..2..NO!!! Ricochet shoves AJ back down and gets to the top rope. Anderson on the apron, Ricochet hops off, swinging kick to Anderson, go behind by AJ, switch, and a rollup for 1..2.NO!!! AJ kicks out, Uppercut from Anderson, Styles plants Ricochet. Pin for 1..2…..NO!!! AJ sets up for Stles Clash, but Ricochet sends AJ int othe corner. Aj runs into a Recoil! Pin for 1..2..N!O!! Anderson breaks the pin. Rey in. Head scissors. 619 to Anderson. Gallows with a kick to Rey. Humberto with a dropkick to Gallows. He flies and lands on Gallows, AND ON HIS FEET!! AJ for Styles again, but Ric rolls through. 1..2..NO!!! PELE KICK FROM AJ!!! Ricochet on the corner. AJ on the corner. Ric drops, clips the leg. Anderson is behind him. Ricochet runs the apron, runs up the post, and back flips onto Anderson.

Ricochet heads back to AJ, head scissors, but AJ looks for Styles Clash. He hits it off the 2nd rope!!!! AJ turns Ricochet over. Pin for 1..2…3!!!!

Winners: The OC
Match of the night, for sure.
Match Quality: ***1/2
Personal Enjoyment: ****
Total Rating: ***3/4

AJ celebrates in the middle of the ring until Orton sneaks up from behind him and hits an RKO.

End Show.

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411's WWE RAW Report, Tony Acero