411’s WWE RAW Report 4.17.17

RAW!

IS!

BRAUNNNNN!!!!!

After last week’s explicit display of bad assery, I have no choice but to dedicate this week’s RAW Report to Braun Strowman! Lady and Gentlemen, welcome to 411’s WWE BRAAAAWWWWNNNN REPORT!!!

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Braun starts the show, and he’s proud to say that last week, he broke Roman Reigns in half. He’s proud to say he left in an ambulance, has a seperated shoulder and cracked ribs, and he will NOT be here tonight.

Kurt Angle is seemingly bothered by these statements, because he heads out and doesn’t seem too happy. He wants to know what point Braun is trying to prove. He flipped over a freakin ambulance with Roman Reigns inside.

Braun says there is more to come.

Angle says that’s exactly what Roman said, but despite his injuries, he’s giving Roman a match with Braun at Payback. Braun says it will be Roman Reigns’ funeral.

Braun wants something tonight. Angle says tonight, Braun should be suspended. Angle gives him the night off. Braun tells Angle that Foley tried to play these games, and you saw where that went. Braun wants more competition tonight, or else.

Angle asks or else what?

Braun drops the mic and heads out of the ring.

Jericho will face Samoa Jo—–OH NO!!!

Chris Jericho comes out in an amazingly glorious scarf full of lights.

Match 1: Chris Jericho vs Samoa Joe
Joe with the right hands in the corner. He starts in with the knees then a headbutt. Joe with a boot to the face. He scrapes Jericho up a bit in the corner. Joe hits the ropes. Dropkick from Jericho. Jericho with a cover for 1..2.NO! Jericho goes for the walls but Joe escapes, hits the ropes, then tumbles to the outside as Jericho holds the ropes. Springboard dropkick off the corner to Joe.

back from a break, and Joe just slaps the SHIT outta Jericho’s back. Kick to the chest. Elbow drop and a pin for 1…2..NO! Joe cinches the shoulder. Jericho escapes then chops the chest of Joe. Joe whips, Jericho hops over the ropes, runs up the corner. Axe handles from above! Jericho hits the ropes. Powerslam to Jericho! Cover for 1..2…NO! Jericho with a cover, but Joe escapes. Jericho with kicks to the side of the face. He runs right into a urinage! Joe gets to the 2nd rope. He hops off, but Jericho blocks with his head and looks for the Walls! Joe tries to erscape with a slap, but Jericho works it in again, only for Joe to twist Jericho out of it. Joe rebounds with a Clutch! Jericho is fading! Jericho pushes towards the corner and flips off with the legs. Joe’s shoulders are down for a pin. 1..2.NO!!!

Joe rols to one side and adds a scissors lock! Jericho is trying to fight out! he can’t! Jericho taps!

Winner: Samoa Job
I love how different that ending was. It was small, but felt much more realistic in the battle of submissions. Nicely done.
Match Quality: ***
Personal Enjoyment: ***
Total Rating: ***

Joe on the mic after the match. He wants to know if Seth remembers what it sounded like when Joe arrived here, because he remembers it very well. It was the sound of Seth’s ligaments and joints popping as he collpased to the ground – the sound of his screams of agony and pain and pleads for mercy. That was just business. Seth was nothing more than a designated target by his benefactor. Joe cares about his clientele, so for what Seth did to Triple H and his wife, it will not be Payback, it will be Personal.

Seth is the first this year to drop the classy line, “Payback is a bitch.”

Backstage, Gallows and Anderson are walking…

They pause long enough to enjoy the strums of The Drifter.

In another part of the backstage area, R Truth and Goldust are chattin it up like the best buds that they are. From outta nowhere, BRAUN flies in and attacks!!!! He sends Goldust into a cage, then beats on Truth. Right hand to Truth! BRAUNNNN!!!!!

“Mr. Strowman” is backstage with a ref lookin at him all cross saying that Braun has the night off. Braun says he’ll leave when he wants to. The ref knows when it’s not his day and heads out of the locker room as Braun thinks about his future flights with United Airlines…

In the ring, Gallows and Anderson MAKE A FREAKIN UNITED AIRLINES JOKE! I JUST DID THAT!!!

Anyway, Anderson and Gallows want Angle to round up some “Nerds” in the back so that they can beat dem asses.

Enzo and Cass are here!!! They say Monday is still the realest night of the week! Cass says Enzo’s eyes can see into the future, and what they see is two bald heads, four black eyes, and one word to describe them!

EYYYYYYYYY!!!!

Match 2: Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson vs Big Cass and Enzo
Cass and Anderson to start. Hard kick to Anderson. Cass sends him into the corner. Tag to Enzo. Enzo gets tossed into Anderson. Cover for nothin. Enzo works the left arm. Tag from Cass. Cass with a right to the back of the head. Another right hand. uppercut in the corner. Cass shoves Anderson to the ropes. Hard shoulder then a clothesline, sending Anderson over the top rope. Gallows checks on his boy as Enzo runs around the ring and Cass TOSSES ENZO INTO GALLOWS!!!! Cass sees Anderson. Enzo runs. CASS TOSSES ENZO INTO ANDERSON!!!

Back from a break, and Anderson has control of Enzo. Tag to Gallows who kicks the shit out of Enzo. He works the left arm of Enzo. Enzo battles out, but Gallows straights the arm and drops down hard. He continues to work the arm with a hard pull. He then locks the arm up behind him, mounting from behind. Gallows with a knee. Right hand to the face. tag to Anderson. Anderson with a snapmare. Knee drop to the left arm. Anderson grabs the arm, locks it up again. Right hands to break the hold but Anderson hits a lethal spinebuster. Pin for 1..2…NO!!! Tag to Gallows, who comes in with a right hand. Uppercut from Gallows. Whip from one corner to the other. Enzo kicks out of the corner. DDT from the 2nd rope! Tag to Anderson. Enzo nearly makes it, but Anderson stops him, and Enzo does NOT get the tag!!! Right hands in the corner. Anderson goes for a kick in the corner, but Enzo moves and rolls out of the ring! Anderson tumbles to the outside. Enzo rushes for a tag. Stalls, Anderson falls for it. Enzo tags! Cass is in! Sidewalks Slam! Empire Elbow! Big Boot! Tag to Enzo! Badaboo—-Gallows in the ring! Cass tosses Enzo onto him. BIG BOOT to Gallows, and Cass tumbles over the top rope, too!!! Enzo on the top rope!

Enzo goes for another DDT, but Anderson holds him in the elevated position! Anderson drops Enzo onto the corner knee first! Anderson covers. 1….2…..3!!!

Winners: Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows
Although I thought the ending was somewhat cool, it would have made much more sense if they didn’t work the arm the entire match, and focused on the knee.
Match Quality: **1/2
Personal Enjoyment: **1/2
Total Rating: **1/2

The Miz and Maryse are—

Sorry for that Braunteruption.

The Miz and Maryse are here to welcome us to MizTV. Miz says that last week, they shocked the world when they moved to RAW. Little did they know that when the luxury yacht that is Miz and Maryse left the dock of Smackdown, they had a stowaway.

Said stowaway is not far from them, apparently, as he heads out immediately. Dean hops around the ring a bit, swinging the title. He thanks Miz for having him, says he’s a big fan, and has been looking forward to this all week.

Miz says Dean spoiled his whole introduction and even spoiled last week. Dean asks for a truce, saying they’re both from Ohio, so let’s have a little fun.

Dean spells out OHIO with the crowd, then tells Maryse she wouldn’t know anything about that since she is Canadian.

Miz wonders if Dean thinks this is a joke, and Dean says Miz’s outfit is a joke. Miz says he dresses, walks, talks, and acts like this because he respects what a WWE Superstar is. He looks the part, acts the part, talks the part, because he IS the part. But Dean? Dean doesn’t care. Everything Dean is is a disgrace to what a WWE Superstar should be. Everything Miz has done is to make WWE talent look like superstars, but Dean makes them look like just “Wrasslers.” What irritates him the most is that The Universe loves Dean. yeah, they love Dean. That’s why he is given opportunity after opportunity. Who was the first pick at the draft? Dean Ambrose. Summerslam? Who is champ? Dean Ambrose! What did Dean do with all of this? Wasted it. 6 months later, where was Dean at Wrestlemania….The Freakin PRESHOW! If Miz was Dean, he’d be embarrassed. YOu know why Dean never breaks the glass ceiling? It’s because Dean is lazy and complacent.

Dean says it doesn’t matter what he’s wearing, it’s about what’s in his heart. There are a lot of guys who care about image, care about what people say and tweet – about branding. Dean doesn’t even know what that word means. he is not a brand, he is DEAN AMBROSE. He doesn’t care about movies, talk shows, endorsement deals – he’d do this in front of 20 or 20,000. He loves it. He loves black guys…sorry, eyes. He loves bleeding. There is no one that does it like he does, and that’s why he has the IC Title. Miz oughta know, Miz is the guy he beat for it.

Maryse steps in between Miz and Dean and calls Dean a Street Rat. She says walking around with a title doesn’t make him a champion. She calls him a boy, and says the man makes the title, not the other way around.

Miz starts with a promo while Dean empties his pockets. He removes his jacket while Miz rattles on abut his work. Dean folds his jacket up. Miz says the title is exactly what Dean is – a joke. Dean tosses his jacket to Maryse, then shoots for the legs of The Miz!!! He beats down on The Miz until Maryse…..THROWS A MICROPHONE AT HIS BACK!!! hahahaha. Dean turns towards Maryse, and Miz tries for the Skull Crushing Finale. Dean nearly turns it into a Dirty Deeds, but Miz escapes and heads up the ramp with Maryse.

Backstage, Braun is dragging one of the Cruiserweights! It’s Lince or is it Kalisto?! Oh, It’s Kalisto. hahahahahaha. This is great! He lifts up Kalisto and drops him in a nearby trash bin. Welcome to RAW.

Outta nowhere, The Big Show trucks Braun into a rolldown door! He yells, with spit spewing into his beard, for Braun to pick on someone his own size.

Before the following match with Gallagher and Perkins, Neville comes out. Aries is next to come out and says he is inviting himself, making a special appearance for the following matchup. He grabs a chair and sits next to Neville. Aries pulls a banana out of his jacket pocket.

Match 3: TJ Perkins vs Gentleman Jack Gallagher
Lockup to start. Side headlock by Jack. TJ lifts, and Gallagher turns it into a takedown and a pin for 1. Side headlock standing. He uses the ropes to bounce off and hit another takedown. TJ tries to block the hold. Jack pushes into a pin. TJ escapes the hold, works the left arm, and locks the leg. Jack spins out of the hold and reverses. He locks the arm with the lef and twists his mustache. Jack then pulls back on the arm and forces it down into a pin for 1….NO! TJ hits the ropes, dives under a leap frog, Jack locks the legs, and Gallagher hits a head scissors. JACK DABS!!!!! hahahaha. TJ grabs the umbrella then tosses it over the ropes to the outside. TJ sends him in the corner, Jack with a headstand. Kick to TJ. Backhand, another. TJ hits the ropes and holds onto them. Jack rushes, TJ moves, and Gallagher dives through the ropes into the barricade.

Back from a break, and TJ has Gallagher in an interesting arm hold. Jack escapes and hits a right. TJ with a right hand of his own. TJ with a suplex, but Jack lands on his feet. Uppercut. Another. A third, and TJ misses a right hand. Exploder suplex from Jack into a hard powerslam and a pin for 1..2…NO! Jack eats an elbow. TJ on the ropes. Springboard forearm. Gallagher with a headbutt! TJ rolls to the outside, and is KOd! Jack leaves the ring, too. He grabs his umbrella and opens it up as TJ begins to stir. Jack is on the top rope. He flies!! Senton onto TJ! He rolls TJ into the ring but he rolls right back out. Jack heads to the outside as well. TJ is seemingly faking it. He shoves JACK INTO AUSTIN ARIES!!! TJ rolls back in the ring. Aries is pissed. He hops on the apron and removes his jacket. Neville, from behind, trips up Aries with his arm!!!!

Jack is distracted. TJ kicks the ropes into the face of Jack!! Detonation Kick to Jack! Pin for 1..2….3!!!

Winner: TJ Perkins
Damned good match with actual interest in everyone involved. Nicely done.
Match Quality: ***
Personal Enjoyment: ****
Total Rating: ***1/2

Backstage, Apollo Crews is being congratulated by Tozawa. In comes Titus O’Neil for absolutely no good reason. Tozawa leaves, and Titus high fives Apollo for being a new dad. Titus wants to know what Apollo is going to do to make an impact. He thinks that Apollo needs to link up with the Titus brand. Apollo wants to know how. Titus says someone who wants to take a nice little vacation could hop onto The Apollo Cruise. They could get jiggy with The Apollo Blues. And if they run into legal trouble, they could just call 1-800-APOLLOSUES.

The Hardy Boyz are with some new dude in an ugly tie. He wants to know what has surprised The Hardyz since their return.

Matt says the atheletes are competitive. Jeff says when their music played at Mania, it was amazing an what he felt that night, words can’t describe. They’re excited…

Cesaro and Sheamus are here, and Cesaro wants to officially welcome them back. Sheamus then says he remembers watching Mania 17 when they stole the show. That night, they were the innovators and creators. They earned the respect of everyone. Cesaro is excited about tonight, calling it a dream match.

Sheamus says dreams and surprises aside, it’ll be an honor to defeat them at Payback because there will be no ladders.

Matt says ladders are wonderful, but they’ll see at Payback that they do not need ladders. Cesaro says Sheamus tends to ruin a good time.

How Swiss of him – staying nuetral.

Match 4: Sasha’s Ass vs Alexa’s Ass vs Mickie’s Ass vs An Ass
Alexa tries to leave the ring, but Mickie and Sasha drag her back in and toss her towards Nia. Nia shoves Sasha then smashes Nia in the corner. Mickie hops on her back but Nia shoves her off then splashes her in the corner. Nia with a running knee. Cover for 1..2…NO! Alexa is in to break the pin. Nia stares down Alexa. Alexa tries to leave, but Nia grabs the hair. Nia hits a right hand. Nia is pissed. She corners Alexa. Alexa leaves the ring. Nia grabs the hair. Dropkick from Sasha and Mickie send Nia to the outside.

It’s Mickie and Sasha in the middle of the ring. Sasha rolls Mickie u for 1. Mickie with a jackknife for 1. Sasha is up. Mickie is up. Sasha is up. Sasha works the arm. Mickie hits a shoulder. Rope work and Mickie hits a dropkick. Sasha ducks a right, hurricanrana! Mickie in the corner. Sasha runs into a nelbow. Mickie with a hurricanrana of her own. Mickie with a neckbreaker to Sasha! Cover for 1..2..NO! Nia drags Mickie out of the ring! SASHA WITH A SUICIDE DIVE!!!

Back after a break, and Alexa is in the ring handling Mickie. She covers for 1..2..NO! Nia is on the apron. She enters. Alexa hits the ropes and NIa is there to catch her and hit a body slam. Sasha hops off the top rope. Body slam to Sasha ONTO Alexa! Mickie is there. Wheelbarrow slam onto the other two girls! Cover by Nia. 1..2…NO! Nia locks Mickie up from behind with a clutch. She rags Mickie up, then drops her down to the mat. Mickie elbows up but Nia just tosses Mickie across the room. Splash in the corner. Alexa tries to attack but Nia tosses Alexa across the ring. Sasha tries but Nia hits some right elbows to the face. Bearhug! Sasha tries to elbow out, but Sasha locks in a headlock and scissors! Guillotine, but Nia turns it into a suplex! Cover for 1..2..NO! Mickie James breaks it then hits a few rights. Nia chokes her then lifts her up and shakes Mickie like a rubber chiken. Mickie turns it into an arm bar!!!! NICE!!!!! Mickie has an arm bar! Nia has her arm up. Nia rolls, Mickie holds it in, but Nia is able to lift Mickie up like nothing and just drops Mickie onto Sasha Banks! Alexa is on the top rope. She sees Nia. She stops. Alexa hops down and heads to the outside! Nia runs into the corner. Shoulder first into the post and Alexa sends Sashsa to the outside. Mickie with the spin kick to Alexa. Running strike. Right hand to Alexa. Mickie locks the head. She’s looking for a DDT, but Sasha is in with a clothesline! Clothesline to Alexa! Dropkick to Mickie! She stops Alexa then hits a kicks. Sasha goes for th knees, but Mickie is there! Sasha locks the head and shoves it into the middle of Alexa!!! KNEES TO ALEXA!! PIN 1…2…NO!!! Nia is there to break the pin. She pulls Sasha to the outside then hops on the apron. NMickie slides through and trips Nia up. Alexa hits Mickie with an elbow and Mickie falls onto Nia. Alexa turns. Sasha is in the ring, all smiles.

Sasha locks the arm, goes for The Bakn Statement, Alexa breaks out, grabs Sasha, yells at Sasha that this is HER DIVISION NOW!!! SASHA WITH THE BANK STATEMENT!!!! Alexa is ghonna tap!!! OH NOES!!! MICKIE IS THERE TO BREAK IT UP!!! Alexa rolls to the outside. Mickie and Sasha trade rights! Mickie drops Sasha! KIPUP! Mickie heads to the top rope. Sasha stands. She trips up Mickie! Sasha with right hands. Sasha looks for a suplerplex, but NIa is there to grab her. She uses Sasha to shove Mickie off the top rope! Samoan Drop to Sasha!

Nia is about to cover but Alexa shoves Nia to the outside! Pin for 1..2….3!!!!

Winner: Alexa Bliss
Nia is just fucking brutal, yet still this match was pretty damned good.
Match Quality: ***1/2
Personal Enjoyment: ****
Total Rating: ***3/4

Backstage, The Big Show is with Charley. She brings up Braun and asks why he put himself into Braun’s business. Show says Braun is going to get a big dose of his own medicine.

Curt Hawkins is in the ring and brings up The Big Show. He says last week, Show interrupted him, and this week he’s in the main event. If you want to be a main event superstar, you step in the ring with Curt Hawkins. So who is it going to be this week?

The lights go out, it’s Finn!

Match 5: Finn Balor vs Curt Hawkins

Hawkins tries for a right hand, misses. Balor with a dropkick into the corner. Coup De Grace. Pin for 1…2…3!!!

Winner: Finn Balor
Beautiful!
Match Quality: NR
Personal Enjoyment: *****
Total Rating: **1/2

We are back after a break, and Chris Jericho is being asked about his unsuccessful attempt at beating Joe tonight. Jericho calls joe a tremendous competitor. Jericho says he’s focused on Owens, that stupid idiot. Owens calls himself the face of America – but have you seen his face? Owens is not a good looking guy. America deserves….THE FACE OF JERICHO! Frame it in, Man! At Payback, Owens vs Jericho, and if he wins, he goes to Smackdown Live. Jericho loves RAW, but it doesn’t matter. He has friends, and The Friends of Jericho are always with Y2J Bay Bay?! You can hear them! Jericho looks off with starry eyes. He calls the guy Tom, but I guess his name is Mike. Jericho says he spends all this time learning his name, Tom, and what is his name? Mike? Tom? Jericho settles on Mike Tom. Ya know what happens when you don’t know your own name? What happens when you’re not even sur—-

Jericho is interrupted by The Drifter, drifting…

Jericho says Mike Tom is off the hook. Jericho then calls the guy behind him the Strange Straggling Strummer and says that……this Dafty Drifter Dandy JUST MADE THE LIST!

Bray Wyatt is in a red smoke filled room. He has a question – what are you afraid of? The dark? The fear of the unknown? The monster under the bed? Fear is what brings us all together. It is our common bond. He is not like us, though. He doesnt bow down to the feet of fear, he controls it – harnesses it. Fear lives within his household. In his house of horrors, all of our fears will come to life. He will drag us down to hell so far that our skin will blister and our heart will burst. He will bring us to the light then drop us back down. We will know pain, know fear, know horror. Oh, silly me, he’ talking to Randy Orton. His suffer will motivated bray, fuel him even. His house of horrors will forever be the night. He’s going to burn the house of horrors to the ground with Orton inside. He says to come join him in the fire where it all begin, and where it shall end.

It all burns down here baby.

Backstage, Alicia is showing Dana Brooke what happened on 205 Live last week. Hot Ass Evil Emma comes in lookin all hot. Emma brings up Dana laughing about the video, saying she showed everyone the video. Hot Ass Evil Emma says Dana even said a joke. Alicia calls this joke profane and rude. Alicia doesn’t think it’s funny. She then says she doesn’t want to be her friend anymore. Hot Ass Evil Emma says she doesn’t look very happy. Dana says Hot Ass Evil Emma just lied, Hot Ass Evil Emma says oops. She says that Dana claimed to want to stand on her own two feet…let’s see how good your balance is.

Match 6: Jeff Hardy vs Cesaro
Lockup and Jeff works the arm. Cesaro kips up and out. He shoots the leg and works the left leg. Jeff stands out of it. Cesaro stops the hold and stands as well. Jeff locks up with a side headlock. Rope work and Jeff holds the ropes, kicks to Cesaro .Dropkick and Cesaro heads to the outside. Swinging dropkick to Cesaro. Jeff on the arpon. He dives with a crossbody onto Cesaro. Jeff sends Cesaro into the ring and covers for 1..2.NO! Jeff drops an axe handle then a side headlock. Rope work and Jeff jumps, but Cesaro catches him and drops with a press! Pin for 1..2..NO!! Jeff rolls to the outside. Cesaro rushes outside, runs all the way to Jeff, and hits a sick ass uppercut. Cesaro rolls Jeff inside and covers for 1..2..NO! Jeff with a jawbreaker counter. He heads to the top rope. Cesaro is up. He rolls to the outside and says no no no.

Back from a break and Jeff rushes the ropes. Cesaro guides him to the outside with a dive and a push. Matt is there to coach Jeff up. Cesaro waits, then heads to the outside at 8. He sends Jeff back in the ring. Covers for 1..2..NO! Another cover. 1…2..NO! Cesaro locks up from behind. Jeff with an elbow. Whip to the center is reversed and Jeff hits a short clothesline. Whip to Jeff into the corner. Running uppercut! Cesaro with a cover! Pin for 1..2…NO!!! Cesaro with a whip. Jeff with a clothesline. Inverted atomic drop. Leg drop to the crotch. Dropkick to the face. Pin for 1..2…NO!! Jeff hoes for a Twist of Fate, but Cesaro hits an uppercut after the twist and covers for 1..2…NO!!! Cesaro calls for the swing but Jeff kicks him way. Springboard super spinning fuck you I’m Swiss Uppercut! Pin for 1..2…..NO!!!!! Cesaro waits. Jeff stands. Cesaro wants the swing. He drops Jeff .Cesaro locks the legs, Jeff won’t cooperate. Enziguri. Jeff goes to the top rope. Cesaro is up!! UPPERCUT BY CESARO!!! Cesaro heads to the top rope. He locks the head. SUPERPLEX attempt! Jeff punches. He blocks, then crotches Cesaro on the ropes!!! Jeff with a dropkick!!! Cesaro heads to the outside! Matt and Sheamus look on. Cesaro back in the ring. Jeff rushes the corner, but Cesaro side steps. He goes for an uppercut, Jeff with an elbow. Whisper in the Wind! Cover! 1…2….NO!!! Jeff with a dropkick to the seated Cesaro! He foes for another, but Cesaro moves and pins for 1..2…NO!! Cesaro lifts Jeff, looks for The neutralizer, but Jeff hits a back drop. Kick to the gut! Twist of Fate!!!!

Jeff heads to the corner! He wants the Swanton! Jeff is up! SWANTON to CESARO!! Pin for 1..2…..3!!!!

Winner: Jeff Hardy
I hate to see Cesaro lose, but can’t deny that this was a good match.
Match Quality: ***1/2
Personal Enjoyment: ****
Total Rating: ***3/4

Matt helps Jeff up. Sheamus helps Cesaro up. Sheamus stares down Matt. Matt grins. Sheamus extends a hand out to Matt. Cesaro does the same. Cesaro gives Jeff a hug. Good shit.

Before Show can even come down for the match, Braun attacks him in the middle of the ramp! He whips Show into the barricade. Show thinks he’s a boxer and gets all right and left on Strowman. He tosses Braun into the steps then into the barricade. The world moves.

Match 7: Braun Strowman vs The Big Show
Both men are in the ring and the bell sounds, Show calls for the chokeslam but Braun stops him .Show goes for a hip toss,. Braun stops it. Show stops one. Show gets one on Braun over the top rope. Big Show with a baseball slide. He heads to the outside. Show sends Strowman into the steps. Show heads back in the ring. He waits for Braun to stand, the ngrabs his head and pulls him back onto the apron. Forearm from Braun! He hits the ropes. Dropkick to Show! Pin for 1..2…NO! Braun grabs the the left arm and works it from behind. Show fights out and works the arm behind Braun. Braun rolls out, KIP UP! Braun with an arm drag takedown!!! Braun lookin like a Beefed Up Ninja. Another arm drag. More drag, less arm on that one. Braun waits for Show to stand, then looks for a body slam. Show stops it, drops an elbow then goes for one of his own. Braun blocks a body slam. Goes for his own. Show stops it, hits a right to the gut. He goes for a body slam, and gets it!!! Show calls for the slam. GOOZLE! Braun blocks! He kicks. SUPLEX BY STROWMAN!!! Braun with a right to the face. He yells that he is the giant. The crowd swipes right.

Braun with a headbutt. Braun with a kick to the ribs! Right crossface from behind to the seated Big Show. Braun flexes and steps onto Show. Deeeeyum. Braun with another crossface to Big Show. Show on his hands and knees. Strowman yells at him to get up. Braun gets Show on his shoulders. Show lands on his feet! He shoves Strowman into the corner! Splash! Show gets Strowman onto the top rope. He seats him. Show with a chop to the chest. Show wants a Superplex. Strowman fighs out. He sends Show to the middle of the ring. Strowman flies off the top rope, but Show catches him! CHOKESLAM!! Cover for 1..2…NO!!! BIG SHOW Wants the Knockout Punch, but Braun deflects! Powerslam! Pin for 1..2…..NO!!! Strowman is pissed. He is heading to the top rope. He gets to the second rope. Big Show trips Strowman up! He’s crotched on the corner. Show is on the top rope! Strowman fights out. Big Show is crotched as well!!! He falls to the mat, holding his Little Shows. Strowman is dripping sweat, seated on the corner. He is alive! He stands back up on the second rope! He flies off. KNOCKOUT PUNCH!!! Cover for 1..2…….NO!!!!!! Strowman kicks out!!! Holy hell. Both men are down.

The Big Show is up first. He hits the corner, and he wants to head to the top rope too! Show gets to the 2nd rope. Strowman is up! He runs to the corner. He locks the head of Big Show. Show is on the top rope! Braun is holding him up! SUPERPLEX TO THE BIG SHOW!!!!

THE FREAKING RING BREAKS!!!

They pulled a Show/Lesnar!!! The freakin ref tumbled the fuck out!

The crowd is giving a HUGE YES chant!

Strowman is up!!! Holy shit! he’s standing!!! Strowman stands tall as The Big Show is laid the fuck out!

Winner: The WWE Universe
This show belongs to Braun!!!
Match Quality: ****
Personal Enjoyment: *****
Total Rating: ****1/2

Good for Braun.

He stands at the top of the ramp and screams that EVERYONE will fall!

End Show.

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