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411’s WWE RAW Report 4.30.18

April 30, 2018 | Posted by Tony Acero
Seth Rollins WWE Raw 43018

Man, wasn’t that Royal Rumble just The Greatest?

This week’s RAW brought to you by Janice Griffith and Riley Reid!!!

Video package for The Greatest Royal Rumble starts RAW off. We are in Canada, so cue in the “Bizarro World” comment from the commentary crew.

Double time said cue as they boo like crazy the minute Roman Reigns’ music hits. They boo louder the minute we hear his name. and that took less than 6 minutes…Montreal is “different.”

Coach is back.

Reigns says he’s not going to make any excuses, but the crowd doesn’t care. They boo him. Reigns says we’ve seen the footage and read the tweets, and we are looking at the REAL Universal Champion.

ROMAN SUCKS chant.

Reigns says he should be the Universal Champion, but he’s not…yet. BOOOOO.

Reigns says people doubted him, lost faith in him, but he is a man of his word and he kept his word; he beat Brock in that cage (but he lost…). He will never lose faith in himself. He would tell this to Brock, but we all know he’s not here, so he’s going to turn his attention to another man 0

JOE IS ON THE SCREEN!

Joe says Reigns is assuming any of us had any faith in him to begin with. He told Reigns he’d lose to Lesnar, and this Sunday at Backlash, he puts Reigns downward spiraling career to sleep.

Reigns is snickering in the ring.

The music of Jinder Mahal hits, and out comes the Modern Day Macarena.

Jinder says there’s one thing he can’t stand, and it’s someone who makes excuses for their shortcomings. Jinder has a legit excuse cuz Jeff Hardy cheated, but you don’t hear him complaining. Reigns lost to Brock fair and square. At Backlash, he’ll lose to Joe. Tonight, Reigns will lose to Jinder.

The music of Sami hits, and the crowd goes wild for the first time of the night! They sing loudly along with his song. I love it. Sami gives a shoutout to Montreal, and speaks some French.

Sami wants to get down to business. The two of them are complaining about the Royal Rumble, when due to an injury, Sami wasn’t even able to go. He caught a very serious case of Vertigo. He’s feeling a lot better tonight, though. In fact, what better way to make things right than to face Roman Reigns tonight.

This isn’t the only Cannuck around, and out comes Kevin Owens with a super cool blue Fleur-de-lys KO shirt. Owens stays at the top of the ramp.

Owens cuts himself a little French promo then gets a FRENCH YES Chant!!! haha

Owens says he knows that Sami can beat Roman Reigns, but he thinks that tonight, people want to see Kevin Owens vs Reigns.

We have a bit of a situation because Sami and Jinder want a piece of Roman Reigns. So how about a popularity contest. Owens asks for cheers for Reigns vs Zayn, Reigns vs Jinder, Reigns vs Owens. Crowd tends to like Owens the most.

Owens walks up to Reigns and gets uppercut in the face! Zayn and Jinder attack Reigns. Owens comes in with the stomps, and now all three Canadians attack Reigns. Right hand from Zayn and Jinder gets some stomps in until the music of Bobby Lashley hits! He rushes down the ring and attacks Jinder. He then gets Owens in the corner. Zayn and Jinder attack and help get the upperchand. Zayn and Owens have Lashley in the corner. Jinder takes care of Reigns.

BRAUUUUNNNN!!!!!!

He heads down the ramp onto the apron and shoves Zayn and Owens. All three Canadians atack Braun. Lasley grabs Owens and shoves Owens to the outside. Reigns with an uppercut to Jinder, sending him outside. Zayne is next. Braun presses The Singh kid over the top rope to the outside.

Geeeeee, I wonder what will happen tonight in the main event!!!

Why would Braun care about this?

Backstage, Elias is drinking special Tea before his concert.

So they’re going to have a match to have a match with Reigns? He’s not that important, guys…

Shock above all shocks, we get the official announcement of a six man for later tonight.

Elias has a question for everyone here tonight.

Elias says he is a gift, truly, and sometimes he gets so lost in his own thoughts that he forgets how special it is for us all to see him. He wonders who watched the Greatest Royal Rumble, and talks about eliminating all of the big names. He is reaching a new level of fame that no one can comprehend, definitely not Bobby Roode. When he tells everyone to hold their applause, everyone claps. haha.

Elias starts paying, and the crowd claps along. Eli insults Roode a bit, and I just love how into it this crowd is.


Match 1: Elias vs Bobby Roode

We’ve seen this before…Ah yes, last week. Anyways, Elias gets Roode in the corner and hits a right after breaking the hold. Another right. Another. He hits the gut then a right hand gets blocked. Roode with chops. Whip is reversed. Roode with a shoulder tackle. Inverted atomic drop and a dropkick from Roode. Roode sends Elias into the corenr. Chop to Eli. Whip is reversed again and a kick out of the corner. Blockbuster from Eli. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Elias rolls to the outside of the ring. Roode leaves the ring as well. Chop from Roode. Knee and he sends Eli back into the ring. elias rolls to the apron. ROode catches him. Elias hangs him up. Cravat from behind and we get a preview of Backlash DURING THE MATCH! I don’t understand the reason for this!!! Roode ends up turning into the hold. Right hand and a chop from Roode. Whip to the ropes. ELi with a kick. Elias lifts Roode and just tosses Roode! Wow….that was amazing, actually. Elias with a chop in the corner. Another. Whip to the corner is reversed. ELias hops up after being tossed into the corner, he mule kicks Roode out of te corner and covers for 1..2…NO!!!

We are back and Elias has a cravat from behind. Roode runs int othe corner to try and break the hold but Elais won’t release it. He tries for it again in the opposite corner but it won’t work. Roode then backs Elias into the corner and finally it’s released. He rushes the corner and Elias hits a shoulder. He kicks in the corner. Chop to Roode. Whip to the corner. Revesed and Elias tries for the mule kick again, only this time Roode has it scouted. He attacks, goes for the neckbreaker, up top, lands on his feel after a jump. Spinebuster to Elias. Pin for 1….2….NO! Roode sells the throat then heads to the top rope. Elias is up with a chop. Right elbow to the head. Elias gets to the 2nd rope. He locks up for a suplex. Roode with a right hand. Another. Headbutt from Roode, and Elias falls down to the mat. Flying clothesline! Roode goes for the DDT. Kick, but Eli pushes. Elbow. Roll up is reversed and Roode gets a 1..2..NO! Roode gets tossed into the turnbuckle throat first and sells it like death.

The ref calls for help and ELias rolls out of the ring to declare himself the winner.

Winner: No Contest
Elias did some surprising shit here. Nicely done, boys.
Match Quality: **
Personal Enjoyment: **1/2
Total Rating: **1/4

Two jobbers asked for a match against AOP. They’re proud French-Canadians. They are also going to die…


Match 2: AOP vs French Cliche 1 and French Cliche 2

Razar starts against FC1. He demolishes him real quick. Tag to FC 2 and he is in to duck a right hand. He gets one of his own, but Razar no sells. FC2 hits the ropes. Hard clothesline. Tag to Akam. He grabs the head of FC2 as Razar grabs FC1.

They get both up on the shoulders and smash into each other, then we get stereo powerbombs. Tag. Last Chapter. 1..2….3!!!

Winners: AOP
MEh
Match Quality: NR
Personal Enjoyment: NR
Total Rating: NR

After the match, we get some mic time. The Book of Pain remains open, it appears. They scream in a different language after, to really hammer home that they are heels because they are foreigners.

we return to RAW with another self-fellatio of the Greatest Royal Rumble.

Seth Rollins is here to give us a history lesson starting with his win of the IC Title and culminating him being here live in Montreal. He calls the crowd wild and he’s not wrong. We get an OLE chant from the crowd. Seth takes in the cheers for a while. It takes a long while, but the crowd finally gets on the same page with a YOU DESERVE IT chant. Seth tells the crowd thank you in French, and it gets a huge pop.

OUI! Chant!!! Seth says that he doesnt want to be anything like Brock Lesnar. Seth even brings up the fact that Roman’s feet hit first. He doesn’t want to only show up when it’s convenient or when the price is right. He wants to be a fighting champion. He wants to be out here every Monday Night…

Finn Balor is here to interrupt in French. He introduces himself then heads into the ring. He says the flight was long enough for him to rewatch the ladder match and see just how close he came to becoming the champ. Hats off to Seth because he beat Finn by ‘this’ much. The way Finn sees it is that they have had four singles matches. Seth has won 2, and Finn has won 2. This makes them even. Seth is out here talking about being a fighting champion, but how about he shows everyone.

Seth says he has The Miz this Sunday for the title. But….

Finn: “I Like that Butt!”

Seth will leave it up to the crowd. The crowd is down. Seth says he’s on.

We got two people that disagree with this match. The Miz’s music hits, and out comes his former entourage. Didn’t they ditch Miz? Why play his music?

They are still officially going by The Miztourage. Axel says not to worry about what these people want. Worry about themselves. Bo tells them that they shouldn’t be fighting each other, they should all be fighting together. Last week, they made a mistake of approaching them separately, but what they should have done was have a group conversation. They reveal shirts with all four of their faces on them.

Bo tells Finn to forget about The Balor Club and The Shield. Look at what Bo sees. FOUR…..The Four Horsemen of the WWE. Axel tries to goad it on with some eh and huhs.

Seth talks it over with Finn a little bit aways from the guys. Finn shakes his head adamently. Seth turns, says no, sorry. Finn drops the hand signal down and BO says fine and they don’t need it. LOSER CHANT.

BO and Axel attack! Well, they try to. Superkick to Bo. Slingblade to Axel. Finn and Seth smile. Finn with the 1916! Nice.

The Riott Squad’s music sounds like a bonus level of Sonic.

We get an interview with Sasha Banks before her match. Charley wonders if Sasha attempted to work things out with Bayley so that she could be in her corner. Sasha says no, she doesn’t know what’s going on with Bayley – she hasn’t heard a word from her. The Riott Squad is trying to take over, and Bayley’s ok with that. If Ruby wants a Riot, she can Bank on one….

Man, who writes this shit…


Match 3: Ruby Riot (w/ The Riott Squad) vs Sasha Banks

Lockup to start. Ruby gets Sasha into the corner. Ref breaks it up. WE start again with a lockup and Sasha works the arm. Ruby slams Sasha down. Sasha kips back up and hits an arm drag. Hits the ropes. Hip toss attempt, but Ruby blocks. Ruby hits the ropes. Rollup for 1…NO! Shoulder tackle from Ruby. Ruby hits the ropes. Sasha rolls into it, hops away from a move, and hits a hard chop to the chest. Sasha locks the fingers. She walks u pthe corner, hits an arm drag, goes for a hip toss and works the left arm again. Ruby tries to turn into it, but Sasha turns with her.

Bayley is watching backstage.

Sasha is up, and Ruby pulls the hair. They lock up on the ropes. The ref breaks the hold. Ruby with a huge kick to the face. Sasha in the corner. Stomps to Sasha. Ruby sends Sasha into the corner face first as Cole gives Ruby the most cliche description of personality ever. Ruby hits a right hand. Whip from Ruby. Sasha ducks. Thesz Press and a beat down. Both women up. Sasha sends Ruby into the corner. Boot to the neck. Sasha grabs the head. Snapmare. Sasha pulls the arm back, looking for a straight jacket hold. Sasha releases, hits the ropes, knees to the face. Sasha works the left arm again. Ruby escapes! Sasha gets tossed over the top rope. Sasha lands on the apron. Ruby sends her off the apron. Morgan goes for a move, but Sasha moves. Ruby dives out of the ring but misses. Sasha rolls back in the ring. Baseball slide to Ruby.

We are back and Ruby has an abdominal stretch-like move. Sasha is seated as opposed to standing. She turns into the move, tosses Ruby aside, then Sasha gets dropkicked! STO to Sasha. She folds up Sasha for the 1…2…N!O Ruby sends Sasha into the mat face first a few times after a face scrape. Sasha fights from her knees. Ruby drops a right to the back. Kick to the ribs of Sasha. Side headlock from Ruby. Sasha is up and turns. Right hand. Whipo to Sasha. She hops up and flies oer Ruby. Ruby kicks her away from a roll up, but Sasha lands on her feet on the 2nd rope! Crossbody! Pin or 1..2…N!O!! Sasha with a kick off the ropes. She ducks a clothesline then hits one of her own. Another from Sasha. Dropkick. Sasha grabs the leg and hits a hard kick to Ruby’s face! Sasha with knees in the corner. She spins, goes for more knees, but Ruby moves and sends Sasha down. hard kick to the face. Ruby heads to the 2nd rope! Ruby just fucking trust falls onto Sasha! Pin for 1..2…..NO!!!! Ruby is pissed. Another pin for 1..2…NO!!!! Ruby argues with the ref. She grabs the arm of Sasha, twists, but Sasha with the backstabber!!!!! BANK STATEMENT!!! Morgan argues with the ref. Liv Morgan grabs the arm of Ruby and pulls her towards the ropes! Ruby rolls to the apron. Sasha grabs, and Ruby hits a kick. High knee from Sasha! Ruby is seated against the ring post. SWINGING KNEES!!! SIIIIICKKKKK. Sasaha dives off the apron onto Liv Morgan!!! Sasha heads to the top rope.

Morgan on the apron. Sasha kicks her off. RIOT KICK from Ruby! Pin or 1..2….3!!!

Winner:
Damn…..great ending.
Match Quality: ***
Personal Enjoyment: ***
Total Rating: ***

It’s time for….another Moment of Bliss.

We never know when a bully could strike. It could happen any time. It happened to her. At Disneyworld. Nia spent the entire day making fun of her height and asking the employees if Alexa was tall enough for the teacup ride. It’s a cup….you just sit….in a cup….(Sad face). Then at lunch, Nia insisted on giving a kids menu to Alexa. Nia thought it was hilarious. Alexa can still see it; turkey leg in each of her hands. Just laughing. Nia turned the happiest place on Earth into the saddest day ever. But at Backlash, no matter what nasty tricks or ridicule Alexa may endure, she will win back her title. She won’t let the bully win.

Beautiful.

We get Titus in the backstage with Renee who tries to cover up his fall, then readily admits to falling. He says what’s important is that you get back up. He hopes that this inspires people to —–

Titus is interrupted by Baron and says what Renee should have asked was if Titus knew what would have been more impressive and inspirational – if Titus hadn’t fallen in the first place. Baron doesn’t know why Renee is wasting her time with this guy. He then walks away.

Titus says it’s ok.

We shift gears to Matt and Bray.

Bray is reading his favorite Non-Fiction story of all time. Of course, our story has always been told. The vessels known as Bray and Matthew have forever transcended time and space. Matt then takes us on a history lesson. They were there at the beginning, at history’s greatest triumph. But nothing can compare to their greatest victory. Apparently, they were there for the moon landing.

The light goes out, and Matt looks to his partner, Bray, who is holding both titles. He says that they are the darkness and the light. They will continue to consume everything. Behold – the Deleters of Worlds.

We go back to commentary where Michael no-sells this all. We go back to last week, specifically the ten woman tag team match up. COle brings up Rousey.


Match 4: Jinder Mahal, Sami Zayn, and Kevin Owens vs Roman Reigns, Bobby Lashley, and Braun Strowman

Loud chant for Sami. Roman and Jinder are starting. Jinder then tags in Sami, and the crowd loves it. Sami taunts Reigns a bit then goes to tag in Owens, who gets love from the crowd as well. SAmi looks to fight then tags Sami back in. Sami laughs it off then heads back in the ring and goes for a right. Reignsblocks and hits a hard right of his own. Crowd hates it. Kick from Sami, and the crowd loves it. Reigns sends Sami to the outside. Sami with a kick. Reigs sends Sami into the barricade. Owens tries to attack and Reigns hits a right. Driveby to Owens and Sami both! The crowd boos with every bit of offense from Reigns!

Back after a commercial and the crowd is still very pro-Sami. Tag from Jinder, who comes in to attack and gets hit with a hard elbow for his troubles. Roman lifts and sends Jinder into the corner. Tag to Bobby, who hits rights. Clothesline. Firemanss and Jinder floats off, then sends Lashley into the corner .Tag from Sami, and he comes in with some stomps then chokes up with a boot.Lashley with a running clothesline in the corner. A spear from Lashley sends Sami to his knees! Lashley locks the head and goes for a suplex. Owens rushes in and kicks Lashley to prevent it. Tag from Sami to KO who comes in and stomps Lashley over and over. Owens with a right hand. Another. He tags in Jinder, who hits some knees to Lashley. Jinder boots Lashley into the corner. Tag to Owens. Right hand to Lashley. Owens gets some shoulders into the corner. Owens with a snapmare and a kick to the back. Cravat from behind. We get a Backlash commercial during the match and come back to a senton from Owens. Owens back to the resthold. Lashley is able to eventually get out of the hold but Owens hits a knee, then whips Lashley to the ropes. Kick off the ropes. Owens is down. Lashley is down.

Back from another break, and Sami has a chin lock on Reigns. Reigns turns into the hold. Sami tries to prevent a tag. He hits a right hand. Reigns with a right of his own. Sami hits one. Reigns returns the favor. Sami goes for another, but Reigns blocks and hits his own. Sami grabs the leg to stop a tag. Tag to Owens. Owensclubs the black. Stomp and an elbow drop from Owens. Pin for 1..2…NO!!! Tag to Jinder. JInder in. Shit happens. I missed it. Forgive me. Tag to Strowman. He’s in to clothesline Jinder. He leaves the ring. He trucks it and hits a shoulder tackle to Owens! Clothesline to Jinder in the ring. He leaves the ring. Clothesline to Sami! He misses with Owens, then grabs his head and sends him into the barricade. Braun back into the ring and goes for a shoulder in the corner. Jinder moves out of the way. Sami in the ring. Lashley stops him and hits a belly to belly. Jinder with a huge kick to Bobby in the face. Tag to Owens. Owens grabs Jinder and sends him…..into a spear!!!! Owens knocks REigns out of the ring. Superkick to Braun! Cannonbal—-NO!!!

Braun is up! Goozle! Powerslam! Pin for 1..2….3!!!!

Winners: Bobby Lashley, Braun Strowman, and Roman Reigns.
I missed too much to give a fair rating. Sorry y’all.
Match Quality: **
Personal Enjoyment: **
Total Rating: **

Baron Corbin is out after another video package for the rumble. He cuts a promo then tells the crowd that they paid to see him. He continues to goad the crowd into keep going and if they have something to say, say it. It doesn’t matter to him or half the stars who come out here just to make us laugh and entertain us. Titus has two left feet and has made a career of looking stupid and playing the fool. His opponent is no different in No Way Jose. This nonsense makes him want to puke. He came here to make money, and he doesn’t make money trying to make each of us laugh. Thats’ why no one is on his level. Tonight, he puts an end to the nonsense. He promises that when it’s all said and done, no one will be laughing.


Match 5: No Way Jose vs Baron Corbin

Jose with some rights and a whip. Corbin reverses. He slides, misses, leaves the ring, and hops back in with a hard clothesline to Jose. Corbin with a right hand. He lifts Jose and hits another right hand. Kick to the head. Jose tries to fight out, and holds the ropes as Corbin falls over. Corbin runs back in, gets kicked by Jose. Jose to the top rope after a right hand. He flies with a crossbody, but Corbin moves and Jose hits the mat. Corbin sends Jose into the corner shoulder first.

Titus O’Neil‘s whistle is blown, and he comes out with his crew to interrupt. Apollo and Dan walk down first. Titus runs down the rmap, and Dana and Apollo stop him, then wipe the floor with a towel. Titus celebrates as he makes it without tripping. Titus gets on the apron, is about to get in the ring, but hooks the rope with the leg and tumbles down.

Jose, from behind, rolls up Corbin for 1..2….3!!!

Winner: No Way Jose
Meh…
Match Quality: NR
Personal Enjoyment: NR
Total Rating: NR


Match 6: Mickie James vs Natalya

Natalya starts with going right after the injured arm. She gets a lock on until Mickie leaves the ring for some screaming. Back in the ring, and Mickie goes for the legs. Nattie clubs the back and works the arm again. Snapmare. Nattie runs across the back then hits a dropkick. Cover for 1..NO! Nattie holds the leg, Mickie grabs her and sends her into the middle turnbuckle. She sends Nattie down by the hair. Mickie with a hard kick to the chest. Cover from Mickie for 1..2…NO! Leg Scissors around the waist. Nattie turns into the hold and hits some rights. Mickie locks in a headlock and leg scissors. Nattie stands out of it, but mickie pushes down and gets a press for 1..2…N!O!! Nattie is up, favoring the leg. Mickie hits but Nattie elbows out of the corner then hits a spinning clothesline. Nattie forgets she is selling the knee and goes for a power move just to get over taken. Mickie kicks the leg.

Ronda stares down Alexa, and she runs. Mickie is distracted. Nattie rolls her up for 1..2…3!!

Winner: Natalya
K.
Match Quality: NR
Personal Enjoyment: NR
Total Rating: NR

As alexa walks up the ramp, Nia’s music hits. She comes out and ignores ALexa to head to the ring and hold up the hands of Nattie and ROnda.

A stupid promo via cell phone from Drew and Dolph. Drew’s delivery is amazing, and great, but I don’t need a selfie promo from him, especially one where Drew is shirtless in looks like a closet space for reject chairs.


Match 7: Intercontinental Championship Match
Seth Rollins vs Finn Balor

Finn is all smiles before the lockup. Seth with the go behind. Into the corner and the ref breaks it up. Ref stops it. Finn ith a go behind. He floats over, locks the waist. Finn shoves Seth. Seth hops over. Arm drag. Rope work and Seth ends it with an elbow. Seth sends Finn to the outside. Seth uses the ropes to send himself over the top and onto Finn.

We are back, and Seth has a cravat from behind. Seth hits a chop. Finn fires back. Seth with the same. Whip to the ropes. Finn with a right. Chop to the chest. Whip to the corner. Reversed b Finn. Hop oer and Rollins catrches him with a kick. A kick blocked by Seth. Blockbuster by Rollins. Elbow from Seth. He sends Finn down face first. Seth with a springboard clothesline. Finn hits the ropes. Suicide Dive to the outside into Finn. He gets in the ring and goes for another one, but Finn swings up with a kick! Finn is on the apron. He enters the ring and hits a right hand. Uppercut and another. Finn ducks under a few rights and hits a hard DDT. Cover for 1…2..NO!! Finn with a dropkick. He lifts Seth. Elbow to the chest!! Cover for 1..2….NO!!! Finn with a chop. Slingblade from Seth. Knee to Finn! Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Seth calls for a finish. Kick to the gut. Seth hits the ropes. Balor is up with a right hand!Seth rushes the corner. Finn sends ghim over the top rope onto the apron. Seth flies in, but Balor dodges. Flips the legs. STOMP TO THE CHEST! Kick to Seth, and he is down near the corner! Finn to the top rope. Seth is up! He attacks and Balor is knocked down. Seth heads to the top. Locks the head. Finn hops to the very top rope. SUPERPLEX! Falcon Arro—NO!!!! Finn reverses and hits a suplex of his own!!! Pin for 1..2……NO!!!! So close! Seth with a right. Finn bounces off the roepes and hits his own. They go back and forth over and over with rights. Finn locks the head. 191–No!!! ROllins with a knee. Finn falls. Overhead kick from Finn! Enziguri from Seth! Clothesline to Seth by Finn! Finn hits the ropes. HE FLIES OVER THE TOP ONTO SETH ON THE OUTSIDE!!! Finn rolls back in. He’s in the conrer. Dropkick to Seth! Finn to the top rope. COUP DE GRA—SETH MOVES! Kick to the gut. Curb Sto—NO!!! Balor moves, rolls up Rollins for 1..2..NO!!! Seth goes for the stomp again. Pin for 1..2….NO!!!

FINN IS SO CLOSE!! SLingblade!!! Finn is frustrated. He runs. SUPERKICK!!! Seth stands. CURBSTOMP!!!! Pin for 1..2……3!!!

Winner: Seth Rollins
A great main event that took a little bit of time to get going, but once it did…was great.
Match Quality: ***1/2
Personal Enjoyment: ****
Total Rating: ***3/4

End Show

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411's WWE RAW Report, Tony Acero