411’s WWE RAW Report 7.9.18

Keep Refreshing For The Latest Results

It’s MONDAY NIGHT RAWW!!!!!!

Let’s take a little trip down memory lane with Roman Reigns. They make him sound triumphant and owed something. This is spliced with Bobby Lashley, and his history with the WWE, circling back to the current “epic saga” between the two, concluding with Lashley telling Reigns to move on and Reigns thinking he’s cool cuz he main evented four Manias. We also see just a glimpse of Lashley at Mania, making no mention of our current Bad Hombre in Office.

Backstage, Roman is…get this….WALKING!!! Smell the intrigue.

He takes his trek, making sure to sway slightly here and there to assure cool points, until we get the rude Lashley walking in front of the camera and stopping Reigns. Reigns gets all gangster on dat ass and suggests Lashley gets out of his way. Lashley suggests that Reigns calls him out so that he can tear him apart. I believe we get a LETS GO CELTICS chant, showing just how much the crowd cares.

So Ro-Ro-Reigns heads to the ring as Cole says tensions are high and emotions are running wild, making me wonder if there is a bag of cliches for him to pull from.

Reigns soaks in the quasi-cheers/not quite boos reaction from the crowd for a little longer than I’d like. He begins to speak, but is drowned out by boos. He then says that there’s a lot to talk about, but he’s never had anyone ask him to call them out, and he is curious about what Bob can do. He then proceeds to call Lashley out.

Shocking.

Lashley makes his entrance to the ring, scowling. He stands atop the apron, holding onto the ropes, and stares a hole through Reigns. Finally entering, Lashley stands ready to attack until Angle comes out with Constable Corbin. Angle tells them to save it for Sunday. Lashley removes his hat, and the two lock horns!

Oh no….

Please don’t…

Fuck….

Angle calls out the locker room to stop the two in one of the MOST HATED WAYS OF BUILDING A FEUD THAT I HATE!!! UGH!!!!

So a bunch of wrestlers who haven’t cared in the slightest about this storyline suddenly care because Angle told them to, and have come out to hold the two back. Yes, Mojo and Titus care so much that they hold Lashley back while Finn and Bobby Roode have enough fucks to give to hold Roman back. Lashley breaks through and attacks. Out of nowhere, Finn gives Balor a right hand. Hahaha. Reigns fights away some tag teams until more and more wrestlers come out.

Hey, you know those dudes Authors of Pain who likely don’t care about anyone? Well they’re there to help out this monumental moment. Lashley is able to break out yet again, and attack Reigns. I’m pretty sure everyone is out here. Cole pontificates the motivation behind this match as “becoming a man,” while Coach brings up wanting to be the top dog.

This is boring me.

And in an incredibly poetically metaphorical turn literal moment, the entire roster holds Reigns up immediately after a jump from the ring over the top ropes onto a pile of wrestlers.

They play his music as he walks back up the ramp, but Reigns isn’t done. He rushes the ramp and attacks again then walks back up the ramp as Lashley’s music plays.

Backstage, Mickie James tells alexa that it was crazy out there. Alexa calls it intense, but it will be nothing compared to the pain they will bring on Nattie and Nia. You know, those two girls that are ok with each other now for no discernable reason…

Recap of what just happened until Alexa’s music hits, and she blesses us with her presence.

Match 1:

I join the match with Nattie hitting a baseball slide then sending Alexa into the barricade and knocking Mickie on her ass. She sends Alexa into the ring but Alexa rolls right back out just as Nattie slides in.

We return to Mickie handling the bidness, sending Nattie in the corner and giving her a few kicks before tagging in Alexa. Alexa waves to Nia, then gets whipped into the corner by Mickie. Alexa stops the run and slaps Nattie directly in the face. Boot to the neck of Nattie, into a snapmare, followed by a resthold from behind. Annnnddd we get an Extreme Rules promo DURING the match. Alexa covers for 1..2..NO! Alexa grabs the hair, and puls Nattie to the center of the ring, then sends her face first into the corner. Tag to Mickie, and Alexa gets a kick in. Mickie with another whip to Alexa, but this time Nattie hits an elbow, then sends Mickie into the corner face first. Nattie rawls for a tag, gets it! NIa with an axe to Mickie, she sends Alexa off the apron. Shoulder into the corner a efw times. Splash! Whip to the ropes, and Mickie bounces off with a kick. Another. Nia grabs the neck. Headbutt and a fucking truck into Mickie!
Firemans and Nia presses Mickie up in the air, then drops her like nothing. Nia hits the ropes, and hits a leg drop. Pin for 1..2..3!!!

Winners: Nia Jax an Natalya
I know it was only about a minute, but that spurt of energy that NIa had before the win was pretty nice.
Match Quality: *
Personal Enjoyment: **
Total Rating: *1/2

Immediately after the pin, Alexa smacks Nia in the back with a kendo stick. Nattie enters the ring and she gets hit for it. More to Nia’s back. Another hit gets a scream from Nia, as she stands up. Alexa swings one more time, but Nia catches the stick and swings it towards ALexa. Alexa slides out of the ring, though, and Nia breaks the stick over her knee and stares Alexa down and she and Mickie run up the ramp.

Hey, did you see what just happened? No? It’s ok, we’re going to show you again. You know, like we JUST did with Reigns…

Backstage, Charley rushes up to Nia to remind her of just how upsetting Alexa’s actions have ben. Nia says Alexa cannot break her, but she can break Alexa. She’s going to snap her in half this Sunday. She won’t forget all that Alexa has done. She will pay it back inch by inch, and she will take back the title.

Recap of that crazy man Braun doin crazy stuff.

Angle is backstage playing Candy Crush Soda Edition, and Owens comes up to tell Angle he is here at work like a professional. That’s what people do. If it was up to Angle, he’d feed Owens to Braun, but you can’t fire him either. Owens has connections. Ah, this is the Kevin Owens show, and that’s why Angle is mad. Instead of filing a complaint, Owens decided he’d be the bigger man. Angle snickers at the mention of the last week’s. Owens then holds up a doctor’s note, saying he is not medically cleared to compete tonight, and since he is here, he will hang out in the one place he’s safe from Braun, and that would be Angle’s office. Owens takes a seat in what is very obviously NOT an office…

Match 2: Mojo Rawley vs No Way Jose

Jose with some elbows. Mojo shoots for the legs, but Jose holds the head and stops it. He cinches the hold until Mojo shoots Jose forward to break the hold. Mojo sends him to the ropes, hits the ropes as well, and hits a shoulder tackle from the side! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Another cover. 1…2..NO!! Mojo decides to drop some hard forearms over and over. Jose stirs on the mat. Mojo lifts and sends Jose into the corner. He hits an elbow out of the corner, and Mojo fires back with a shoulder tackle then a suplex. Half Nelson from behind. Jose tries to stand, does, and sends Mojo through the ropes to the outside. Mojo hops on the apron, into the ring, then hits a splash in the corner, followed by a hard elbow from off the ropes. Nice! Pin for 1..2…NO!! MOjo is backed off by the ropes, and Jose hits an elbow, then a knee out of the corner. Jose with a right elbow, left, right, knee, another, another, Mojo shoves, but Jose fires back with a clothesline! Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Hard elbow in the corner. Jose on the 2nd rope.

Mojo grabs the legs, looking for the Alabama Slamma, hits it! Pin for 1…2…..3!!!!

Winner:
Mojo got the win this new character version of his needed, and I’m slowly liking this…
Match Quality: **
Personal Enjoyment: ***
Total Rating: **1/2

So we go back to Sasha and Bayley meeting with a NEW therapist. Bayley explains how Sasha continues to stab her in the back and lies to her over and over again. Bayley is tired of thinking Sasha will ever change.

So you remove the one thing people (not me) enjoyed about this segment?

Backstage, Seth Rollins is walking. He does it better than Roman. He walks into Jinder who claims that instead of burning it down, one must embrace it. Seth will find inner peace if Seth chants Jinder’s mantra. Seth then says wow, maybe he is burning pieces of his soul! Jinder starts with the chant, breathing in and out. Seth slowly backs out of frame.

Seth gets some promo time about nicknames and how the only one that bothers him is “Former IC Champion.” He gives Dolph some props, saying he loves testing himself against the absolute best, but the problem is that he’s bringing McIntyre with him too. Still, he’s Seth Freakin Rollins and when it comes to Dolph and Drew

*Record scratch*

Here comes the D&D boys.

Dolph thanks Seth for the kind words. He says not to be fooled, because Dolph isn’t going to just bring his good attributes and Drew, he’s also going to bring the title.

OOOOO, burn.

Dolph says not to think for a second that he won’t walk out as champion.

It’s not all bad, says Drew, because he’ll have his nicknames. He IS Seth “Freakin” Rollins, one of the greatest wrestlers to ever set foot in the ring, but he’s no Dolph Ziggler. When it comes to Extreme Rules, Dolph is so good, he might win 5-0, 10-0, 1000-0!

Seth says Dolph has been bleaching his hair for too long, bro.

Dolph brings up Crossfit and says you win an Iron Man Match by racking up victory after victory, beating your opponent until the scoreboard is full of victories, and although Dolph isn’t one to brag, Dolph wrapped up so many victories at Kent State, he was the all time winningnest wrestler. 121 victories.

Seth congratulates him, then wonders what Dolph’s degree was in. Drew says to check the resume; he is going straight to the top.

Seth says that we know where Drew is going man, wherever Dolph tells him to go. This is something we’ve all been wondering – why is he taking orders from little Dolph? Why is he being led around on a leash. Oh….now he knows….Seth knows Drew’s secrets. Oh man, this could be bad. Seth brings up photographs, saying there’s only so many sheep to go around.

Seth Rollins brings up incriminating photos and sheep fucking….

Dolph says that Seth will be left in the dust, while Seth begs for someone to notice him and ask for an autograph. Drew says he’s had enough. He wants to know how much of a man Seth is, and tells Seth to fight him…tonight.

Backstage, Bo Wyatt scares Curtis Hardy, then reveals who he truly is and Curt feels better. They have a quick laugh off ala Matt and Bray.

Bo and Axel are in the middle of the ring, and Curtis Hardy cut a little Woken promo. Bo Wyatt says they are going to devour some soul with a side of rice and beans, maybe in a side of avocado – if it’s in season. Salt and pepper. It’ll be a buffet, that’s right.

Matt’s glass finally breaks, and he and Bray do not look happy. Enough of their erroneous dialogue! The time for fun and games is ovaaaaaa. Wyatt says laughter is contagious, but so is fear, and these boys have been infected. At Extreme Rules, they will eat and delete them Wyatt then says why wait for Sunday when…WE’RE HERE.

Back to the ring, where Matt and Bray are standing ehind Bo and Axel. The B Team books it, and leaves the ring, then realizes Bo has a match…

Match 3: Matt Hardy vs Bo Dallas

Matt drives Bo into the corner and hits some shoulders, then hits a right hand. Delete Headbutts. Backstage, The Revival are watching and pointing with intent. Mat works the arm from behind. Bo turns and hits a right to the head. Another. Matt fights back, whips ,hits an elbow, and Bo flies out of the ring. Matt follows and locks the head then hits a suplex on the outside!

Back from a break, and Matt kind of drops Bo a little while still holding onto a cravat. Matt cinches the hold and…is Bo sandbagging in this match? Well, guess it doesn’t matter, because we have a PPV to shill, and shill the WWE will, as we get another PPV commercial PIP thing Back to the match where Matt hits a chop on the ropes. Bo drops to the bottom rope and Matt locks his arm up then hits a right to the gut. Another. A third. Matt backs up and grabs the arm, turns, whips Bo under the ropes, and Bo hits the rope face-first. Matt leaves the ring to continue the attack. The ref is at 4, and Matt whips Bo into the barricade. Wyatt watches on with a smile. Bo stands, slowly, and kicks matt away. Clothelsine attemtp but Matt locks the head and goes for Side Effect onto the steps. Bo with an elbow! He slides into the ring, Matt locks up. Side Effect! Matt grgabs the head and goes for another one. He hits it! Two Side Effects! Matt stands. He calls for the end. Matt is on the apron. He locks the head of Bo, and lifts, again, but Axel distracts. Bray with. huge trucking of Axel.

Bo with a suplex to the distracted Matt. Cover for 1…2…3!!!!!

Winner:
Bo seemed like he was overselling heavily for some reason.
Match Quality: *
Personal Enjoyment: *
Total Rating: *

The lights go out then back on, and Matt and Bray are standing at the edge of the ramp. They scare The B Team to the outside.

Backstage, Bobby Lashley is smiling all while Renee asks what’s his thoughts on such a “Heated” confrontation. Ah, this must be while he is smiling. Anyways, Lashley says he has zero respect for Reigns. He doesn’t like anything about the guy. What he does like is that Reigns is willing to fight. So this Sunday, he will show up, and when he walks in to fight Lashley, Reigns won’t walk out.

Lashley turns to leave, then comes back and says “Believe That.”

Backstage, Tyler Breeze is telling some people that they need his help. It’s Liv and Sarah, and he hands them some shirts. Logan says they don’t do fashion, then they rip the shirts and throw them at Tyler. Liv hops on the back of Logan, then they walk away.

We head back to counseling, but don’t hear it. Coach says something stupid, and basically claims that if these two don’t get along, their careers could be on the line…

What?

Alexa cuts a selfie promo.

Match 4: Ember Moon vs Liv Morgan

Lockup to start, and Liv with the go behind. Ember does the same, but Liv goes for a back elbow. She misses and Ember shoves her away. Arm drag is thwarted and Ember kicks, as Liv dodges and scoots into the corner quickly. Liv talks to Sarah a bit in the corner as Ember waits. Ember grabs the boots and pulls her up just to drop her down. Liv rolls to the outside immediately, and Sarah helps her regroup. Ember hops over the top rope and lands on her feet on the outside.

Back to the match, and Liv is on the back of ember with a sleeper like move. Ember hops up and falls back, squashing Liv in the process. Both women up after a bit. Liv kicks, Ember side steps, she goes for a clothesline, Liv hits the Matrix spot, grabs the head and sends Ember to the mat hard. Liv up first this time, but Ember shoots her legs up, locks the head, and drives Liv into the corner headfirst! Ember with a knee to the face. She locks up and lifts Liv sideways. Fallaway Slam to Liv! Sarah hops on the apron. Ember with a springboard right hand off the corner.

Liv, from behind, rolls up Ember, but Ember reverses with a jackknife cover for 1..2…3!!!

Winner:
K.
Match Quality: *
Personal Enjoyment: *
Total Rating: *

Backstage, Finn Balor is smiling.

That is all.

Nothing else to report.

Ok, kidding, Young asks Finn a question, but Roode cuts him off and says that he and Finn are cut from the same cloth. Abs, hair, good looking, they are unstoppable, and Corbin can say what he wants but there is nobody better than Finn. Tonight, they are going to be….Renee fills in the blank, but Roode says no, they are going to be victorious.

But also glorious.

Finn loves when Roode does that, but it’s funny to Finn that Corbin thinks he is the brains of the operation. Corbin tells everyone that Finn is half of a bunch of shit, but Finn is twice as good. They can keep talking, but they like to do so in the ring, so off they go.

Hey guys, I have a new episode of my totally unrelated podcast that has nothing to do with wrestling up! Wanna watch? Cool!

Elias is here to sing us a diddy. It’s great.

He introduces Corbin afterwards, and Corbin wants to try and sing for a bit. He tells Elias to play for him while Corbin sings. Corbin wants to know if Elias knows Itsy Bitsy Spider. The crowd boos heavily, and Corbin says “Dude, this is going SO GOOD.” Haha.

Match 5: Baron Corbin and Elias vs Finn Balor and Bobby Roode

We come back from break with Roode and Corbin in the ring. Corbin works the arm then tags in Elias, who hits a drop toe hold into a side headlock. Elias tries to break out, but can’t quite do it, so stands up and turns into the hold. He back Roode into the ropes, but Roode hits a shoulder tackle. More rope work and Elais goes for a leap frog, but Roode hits an inverted atomic drop. Side Russian Leg Sweep and a pin for 1..2.NO!!! Roode gets elias in the corner. Kick from Roode. Chop. Right hand. Roode whips elias into the ropes, reversed, he hops over, kicks, and Roode calls for the DDT, but Corbin is in the ring. Elias with a surprise knee to the face!!! Tag to Corbin, who comes in for some stomps. Corbin locks in a chinlock, so we get an Extreme Rules promo.

We go back to full screen and Corbin is working the head of Roode. Tag to Finn. Tag to Elias. Commercial break.

I miss a bit as my sister calls me to ask how to properly cook salmon, because Google doesn’t work in her household, I suppose.

Balor gets whipped by Corbin, then hits a slingblade. Finn reaches for a tag, gets Roode, and he comes in to knock Elias out and fly off the 2nd rope, hit the ropes, then hit the head of Corbin. Clothesline in the corner into a neckbreaker. Roode slaps his chest to show dominance, then heads to the top rope. Corbin is standing. Roode flies with a ….noooo chokeslam from Corbin!!! Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Finn breaks it up. Elias in, but Balor sends him to the outside. Dropkick from Finn. He’s on the apron, looking for the kick, but Balor hits a hard right and Balor crumbles down. Roode with a rollup for 1..2..N!O!! Kick from the corner. He’s on the 2n rope. Blockbuster! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Elias stops the pin. Elias runs to the outside. Corbin is there. They beat each other up like they’re Lashley and eigns. Finn sends Corbin into the ring and climnbs the corner. Corbin crotches him! He turns. Roode sends Corbin into the corner hard!!! Roode calls for the end! GLORIOUS! Elias in. Spinebuster to Elias!

Corbin with a blow from behind! END OF DAYS! Cover for 1..2….3!!!!

Winner:
Good energy here.
Match Quality: **1/2
Personal Enjoyment: **1/2
Total Rating: **½

Owens is still backstage, and in comes Braun. Angle says he invited Braun in to inform both of them that they will be in a Steel Cage Match. Braun grabs some conveniently placed Lysol and sprays Owens because he reeks of fear.

More spoken over video/audio of Sasha and Bayley talking on a couch, and I just want to know how you take the air out of a segment that had so little to begin with.

Renee is with Reigns, and she wonders if it was smart to provoke Lashley. Reigns says no, and he had no respect for Lashley till he saw the fire in his eyes. Reigns says in that ring, he is a dog. He doesn’t care about Lashley’s physical tools. At Extreme Rules, he’s going to beat Lashley then moving on to bigger and better things. Bob will be the guy…somewhere else.

Not a bad promo there, Reigns. Too bad it’s one of very, very, very few….

Match 6: Seth Rollins vs Drew McIntyre

Lockup to start, and Drew backs Seth into the corner. He talks some shit then allows Seth to leave the corner. We get a fresh start, and Drew locks up again. He drops Seth to the mat, then smiles at his superiority. Seth with a right hand to the face of Drew. He dodges a move then hits another jab. Side headlock but Drew sends him into the ropes. Seth doesn’t let go of the hold, tries for a takedown, but Drew lifts him up and tosses him away. Seth hits the ropes, and we get a shoulder tackle followed by a side headlock takedown. He locks the arm. Seth backs Drew into the ropes. Drew hops over. Leap frog from Seth. Dropkick to Drew, but Drew hits a shoulder tackle to Seth. Seth with a right, and a kick, and another, but Drew drops him with a kick. He goes to his knees, locks up with a front faced headlock, then lifts from the mat all the way up, and hits a suplex! Drew stands Seth up and chops him across the chest. He works the arm from behind, adding a chinlock as well. Seth tries to stand up out of it, turns into a hold, hits a right hand. Another. Chop. Seth hits the ropes. Drew runs up to him and hits a belly to belly. Cover for 1…NO! Drew works a hold from behind again. Burn it Down chant. Seth tries for another move, but Drew just clotheslines his ass down. Stomp to the face. Drew smacks Seth around a bit, then drops to his knees and chops Seth. He seats on his back and pulls the arm from behind, still working the face as well,too. Drew clubs the back. He flips, Seth lands on his feet, pulls the ropes, and Drew tumbles to the outside. Seth hits the ropes. He dives through the ropes with a suicide dive, but Drew just stops him, then hits a tilt a whirl slam onto the apron!

Back to the show, and Drew has the same hold on the arm. Seth esapes and hits some rights until he is whipped into the conrer and damn near flips over the entire post. Drew runs up and hits another Belly to Belly suplex. Pin for 1..2..NO!!! Drew stands tall. He grabs Seth’s head and lifts him up, then chops Seth hard in the corner. Seth drops down so Drew kicks him in the head a few times. Drew with a stomp He works the arm…again…pushing the face away while he does so. He drops She down to the mat completely, working from an elevated position again. Drew lifts for a suplex, but Seth hits a knee, then grabs Drew and sends him face first into the second turnbuckle. Seth rages and stands up as Drew is on the outisd.e Another suicide dive, and this time he knocks Drew down. Seth goes for another, and this one connects as well. Seth tosses Drew into the ring. Springboard clothesline to the face and a cover. 1..2…NO!! Seth with a front faced headlock, he sets up for a possible pedigree or buckle bomb, but Drew won’t allow it. Seth drops some elbows to the head, Seth tries to lift again, but a back body drop stops him and Seth lands on this feet. He hits the 2nd orpe. Blockbuster. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Seth sits up like he’s The Undertaker, but he’s not, so no one cares. Seth wants to burn it down. Kick from Seth. He goes for the stomp. Drew escapes. Elbow in the corner. Drew follows and hits an elbow of his won. He grabs the legs. ALABAMA SLAMMA!!! Cover for 1..2…NO!!!!! Drew grabs the head of Seth. BURN IT DOWN chant. Seth hops over, rolls up for 1..2..O!!!! Drew with a hard chop to the chest. Seth hits the ropes, ducks a clothesline, goes for an enziguri, misses. Drew grabs the hips and flips Seth iup then right back down into a powerbomb! Pin for 1..2…NO!!!! Seth rolls to the apron. Drew grabs him by the hair and sends him into the top buckle. He locks Drew up in the corner but upside down. Drew in the Tree of Woe! Seth to the top rope. Drew hangs, shots up, grabs the head, and tosses Seth across the ring! Sick. Drew calls for the end. He runs. SUPERKICK FROM SETH!!!! FALCON ARROW!!! Pin for 1..2….NO!!!!! Seth locks up from behind. DREW WITH A HEADBUTT!!! Cover for 1..2..NO! Seth kicks out!!! Drew lifts Seth up and puts him on his shoulders. Drew climbs up the corner. He’s on the 2nd rope. Seth weasels his way out, lands on his feet. Drew on his shoulders. BUCKLE BOMB!!! SUPERKICK TO THE FACE!!! Seth on the apron. He heads to the top rope. Seth with a – Dolph interferes. Boot! Crossbody to Drew! Cover for 1..2..NO!!!!

Dolph slides in. CURBSTOMP TO DOLPH!! Claymore from Drew!!! Pin for 1..2….3!!!

Winner:
Way too many restholds from Drew slowed that down quite a bit, but the last five minutes or so was wonderful.
Match Quality: ***1/2
Personal Enjoyment: ***
Total Rating: **¾

Drew carries Dolph away to the back.

End Show