wrestling / TV Reports

411’s WWE Raw Report 8.12.19

August 12, 2019 | Posted by Tony Acero
Sasha Banks RAW 8-12-19

It’s Me
It’s Me
It’s D
D
PLEASE SPAY AND NEUTER YOUR PETS!!!


We come to RAW with a recap of Seth’s win, followed by our NEW Universal Champion coming to the ring with the title over his shoulder. Seth soaks in the cheers unnecessarily, as they use camera work to make this more epic than it is. Good on Dunn and his sly tricks.

Seth stares at his belt, then talks about him being courageous. He wants us to know that Brock is everything he is touted to be and more. He’s a beast in this ring. Seth had doubts. The crowd chants for Heath Slater.

I mean, Beastslayer.

Seth said he emptied the tank, had nothing left, then something happened. WE came alive. We took him to a place only we could go together. In that moment, he knew he had what it took to slay the beast. He went full Gaston and remembered that he is Seth Freakin Rollins, which is why he is standing here Universal Champion.

AJ STYLES takes some offense .He comes out with his title buddies and is alllll smiles at the top of the ramp.

AJ tells Seth he wants to be the first to congratulate him, but now that Brock is gone, there is a target on Seth’s back, and AJ is aiming at him. He wants to prove that he is a much better champion than Seth. Seth says he no longer respects AJ. It doesn’t matter how beaten up Seth is, he doesn’t back down, so later tonight, he’ll gladly teach AJ a lesson in respect. Challenge accepted.

AJ extends a hand to make it official. Seth stares at The Club. AJ asks them to leave the ring. AJ stands alone, extends his hand. Seth looks over to The Club, who are standing outside, and shakes the hand of AJ.

The Club hop on the apron. Seth readies for the attack. AJ laughs it off, mocking Seth for being afraid. AJ says he is coming to take Seth’s head off. AJ gets a chant from the crowd.

Hear that, Seth? AJ gets the cheers.

Backstage, The Street Profits are hungover. In comes Sami to tell them to enjoy it while they can, because the longer they’re here, this place will suck their soul out of them. We are parasites. This happens to everyone .Look at Seth. He came in as The Architect of The Shield, and now he’s a pandering fool.

Sami mocks Burn It Down. Even Becky Lynch. She became The Man, it was real and straight Fire, and now it’s just so manufactured.

Seth double downs on this happening.

Sami says it happens to everyone. Even Joe, who is behind Sami unknowingly.

Sami says Joe came in like King Kong three years ago and now he’s a pansy. Look at him last week.

Joe screams. He tells Sami to shhhh. There’s no backpealling, and since Joe is such a softy, how about Sami gets what he has on his chest off in the ring. Joe then shoves Sami into a box.

Cole questions the obvious, cuz it’s Cole, obviously.

When we return to RAW, we get an awesomely cool video package of the return of The King of the Ring tournament NEXT WEEK!!! Woo hoo!


Match 1: Sami Zayn vs Samoa Joe

Sami goes after Joe immediately, rubbing his face against the ropes then chopping Joe across the opposite side. Sami hits the ropes, and Joe hits a tackle hard. Joe with some vicious headbutts, then a hard blow to the back.

Joe hits the ropes, Sami rolls under, leap frog, and Joe locks in The Clutch! Joe is out as the crowd OLEs for him!

Winner: Samoa Joe
Face turn official?
Match Quality: NR
Personal Enjoyment: NR
Total Rating: NR
Joe grabs a mic. He wants to make something very clear, though he may forgive Roman Reigns, this forgiveness is extended to none of us. Not to those who propagate the lie that he was capable of doing such heinous atrocities, and for that, he will never forgive any of us people.

Nope, face turn not official.

The Miz is here to gloat. We get recaps of Goldberg doing Goldberg things.

Dolph comes out, not ready for a match at all. He hopes Miz, the coward, is happy. Everyone knows Miz didn’t have a chance against him at Summerslam, so he sent Goldy after him. All part of his master plan – cuz he’s a genius. He forgot, though, Dolph got speared so many times yesterday. He is not medically cleared and all these bloodthirsty Canadians would love to see this match. Too Damned Bad.

Dolph with a cheap shot to The Miz. He attacks Miz in the corner, then rips the shirt off of him. Dolph attacks Miz in the corner. Ref holds him back a bit, but Dolph is wearing a pink shirt so he’s ready and willing to fight.


Match 2: Dolph Ziggler vs The Miz

We come back to the match already goin down. Dolph’s pink shirt powers are not good enough as Miz gets some right and lefts to him. He beats Dolph down in the corner then kicks the chest a few times. Miz hits the corner, runs, and gets some double knees, hits the corner, runs again with some double knees, and goes for the hat trick with a clothesline. Miz to the top rope. Axe handle to the forehead. Dolph begs Miz off. Miz gives him some IT Kicks. Miz wants the Figure Four, but Dolph esacapes. He sends Mi over his shoulders. Miz shoulders the post. Zig Zag from Dolph. Pin for 1…2….NO!!!! Dolph calls for a Superkick, goes for it, Miz vatches him and drops Dolph’s leg on his knee. He locks up the Figure Four on Ziggler, and they are in the center of the ring. Dolph tries to roll it over. Miz won’t let it happen. Dolph reaches for the ropes. He gets close, clawing.

Miz drags him back to the center of the ring. Dolph taps.

Winner: The Miz
I’m just not really sure what they want me to feel with Dolph Ziggler. I’m sure it’s not Apathy…
Match Quality: **
Personal Enjoyment: *
Total Rating: *1/2

Dolph does what he did last night, grabbing the mic and slithering across the mat while berating The Miz. He regurgitates the jabs he’d done before by saying Maryse is a better wrestler. Dolph stands up talking shit, saying Miz is nothing more than a reality show something or other, but Miz walks down the ramp and hits a Skull Crushing Finale.

Becky is backstage! She says she isn’t here to celebrate. She said respect to Nattie. She said a long time ago, she promised to come for whoever did her wrong, and she will not rest until everyone has been dealt with. She warns all the ladies, and said the best way to win this cat and mouse game is to get her before she gets them. She thanks Charley and bounces.

Elias is out in the ring to sing. He wants whoever is going to try and interrupt him tonight to just come out. He even gives them a countdown. No one comes, so he wants to give his performance.

The ray gun from Call of Duty shoots, and out comes the light Black Panther.

Ric is all smiles, alls Elias homie, and says people don’t interrupt Elias cuz it’s the cool thing, it’s just because Elias sucks.


Match 1:

Bell rings and Ric leg scissors his head, drops Elias, covers for 1. Elias with some elbows to the gut. Elbow out of the corner. Elias with a right to the gut, another. He punches Ricochet down in the corner. Ref holds him back. Elias with a chop. Whip to the roeps. Back body drop to Ricochet. Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Side headlock to Ricochet. Ricochet stands so Elias takes him back down. Elias sends Ric into the corner. Ric kicks Elias out of the corner. Another dropkick in the middle of the ring. Ricochet with a right hand. Another. A third. Whip and Elias reverses. A botched move to Elias. They try again, Ricochet hits an enziguri. Ric hits the ropes. Suicide dive! Elias moves. Ricochet just crashes and burns! GAH DAMN!!!

Elias sends Ricochet back in, then grabs his guitar. Elias drops the guitar in the corner and runs right into a kick to the head. Ricochet with a sunset flip off the top rope. Ref counts for 1..2….3!!!

Winner: Ricochet
boy, that was rough…
Match Quality: *
Personal Enjoyment: *
Total Rating: *

Cole and Corey claim that Elias’ shoulder may have been up. Like that’s never been done before….

Match 3: Two out of Three Falls Match
Rey Mysterio vs Andrade

Andrade comes out the gate with a huge kick. He goes for a powerbomb, but leg scissors send Andrade in the 619 position. Rey hits the ropes, Zelina grabs the legs, Andrade rolls Rey up, and Zelina holds his legs, causing a 1..2…3!!!!

Winner of First Fall: Andrade

Rey hits the ropes, slides under, gets caught, hits the ropes, again, head scissors, and Andrade is sent to the outside. Rey hits the corner. Andrade up and attacks. Chop to Rey. Andrade to the top rope. Rey hits a right to the throat. Rey elbows Andrade down .Rey with a swinging kick to the head. He locks the fingers, kicks Andrade, walks the ropes, and hits a head scissors take down from the top rope all the way down to the mat outside. Rey grabs Andrade and sends him into the ring. Rey with a springboard splash and a cover for 1..2..NO!!! Rey rolsl across the back of Andrade, spins him off the ropes, back elbow from Andrade. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Stomps from Andrade. Right hand to Rey. Stomp over and over in the corner. Andrade hits the corner, runs for the knees, but Rey moves!! Andrade hits the buckle.Rey on the apron! He hops over, Canadian Destroyer, a little sloppy. Rey covers! 1…2….NO!!!! Rey drop toe holds. 619 setup. He decide not to hit the ropes, Inside cradle by Andrade for 1..2…NO!!!! Rey with a roll up, 1…..2…NO!!! Another drop toe hold. Rey hits the 619 this time! He hits the corner. Splash. KNEES ARE UP!!!

Andrade with. Hammerlock! He hits the DDT! Cover for 1…2….3!!!

Winner: Andrade
Well I’ll be….
Match Quality: ***
Personal Enjoyment: ***
Total Rating: ***

We get a headshot of Cole who is, apparently, interviewing Stone Cold via Skype.

Austin is all smiles. Cole is fat. Cole wants to know how impressed Austin was with Seth. Austin says what really impressed him was asking himself if it was worth it, and he answered it saying this is allhe is and all he got. That is exactly what Austin believed his whole damned career, so he has always wondered who Seth really is, and now he knows who and what he is. The man is committed to being the best in the world, and when you believe that, you can do anything.

Cole asks about Raw Reunion, where Seth had a chance to speak with him before the match. What advice did he give Seth?

Austin say he told Seth to stay focused. The guy is determined and he was high that thought. In the match, though, he was too humble, but found a piece of himself that never knew existed.

Cole shills the reality tv show Austin is on that takes place tonight.

We head backstage where Rey is walking like a sad panda. Charley asks him if he’s met his match. Rey says he’s never lost two falls in a row. He has no idea where his career is going, he just knows he has a family to support.

Charley wants to know what he’s trying to say.

Rey says his family….his family…then walks away sadly.

Further backstage, Street Profits tell Rey to keep his head up. He’s a legend. Booyaka. 619 forever, right? Meanwhile, homie Dawkins is asleep with a gallon of water in his hands. Ford brings up Nikki, and Dawkins is all smiles. What a RAW after Summerslam, say Ford, and wants to know who Dawkins got for the upcoming match. Dawkins chugs water. Crowd chants Chug. This was pointless.

Drew is backstage, he tells the blonde that the next chapter would imply this little rivalry would go beyond tonight. This ends tonight. Everything Cedric has done is part of a fairytale that is concocted in Cedric’s head, and he thinks it’ll all end with a big victory over Drew. It’s not. What’s really going to happen is that he will take his boot, cave his skull in, then his little fairy tale will be over.


Match 4: Drew McIntyre vs Cedric Alexander

Cedric gets the upperhand sending Drew to the otuisde with a clothesline then a high ass leap over the top rope to the outside. Cedric sends Drew into the ring. Cedric to the top rope. Dropkick from the top! Cover for 1…..NO!! Drew powers out. Drew shoves Cedric. Cedric comes back, gets flipped over but lands on his feet on the 2nd rope. Drew attacks the back. Sets up for Razor’s Edge, and sends Cedric into the top buckle! Drew grabs the leg, covers for 1..2..NO!!! Drew with a right hand. Hard right. Slap to the face. Right hand from Cedric. Chop to Drew. Shove from Drew side hold takes Cedric down .He pulls the arm in front of Cedric’s face. Big Boot in the corner. Belly to belly to Cedric! Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Drew lifts Cedric, goes for a clothesline, Cedric lands on his feet, springboard, enziguri! Both men down. Both men up. Elbow from Cedric. High kick to Drew. He hits the ropes .Drew looks for a tilt a whirl, but Cedric goes for and hits a DDT!!! Cover for 1…2..N!O!! Cedric lifts Drew to the top rope. High kick. Leg scissors but Drew holds onto Cedric sideways. He swings and drives Cedric into the mat hard!!! Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Drew grabs Cedric and just sends him to the outside hard. He heads out as well and chops the life out of Cedric. Drew lifts Cedric, gets posted, Cedric with the Lumbar Check!!! Drew and Cedric back in the ring. Drew is able to recover. He is in the corner, looking for a Claymore. Cedric with a sick rollup! 1…2…NO!!! Both men up in the corner. SPANISH FLY!!!! Cedric covers! 1…..2….NO!!!!

Cedric locks the hips. Drew with aback elbow. Another one in the corner. Alabama Sla—-nooooo!!!! Roll thru!! PIN 1….2….NO!!!

Drew hits the ropes. Cedrick hits the ropes! CLAYMORE KICK!!! PIN 1…2…….3!!

Winner: Drew McIntyre
Holy hell, they got that crowd FIRMLY invested. Good shit!
Match Quality: ***1/2
Personal Enjoyment: *****
Total Rating: ****1/4

Backstage, AJ waxes poetic on Seth saying he’s going to embarrass him. This champ leads by example. After tonight, the Universe will know what a champion is.

Heyman is sauntering backstage with a Penguin-like anger. He heads to Brock’s locker room as we go to break.

And now, in the case of forgotten wrestlers, No Way Jose is, apparently, going to take on Robert Roode.


Match 5: Robert Roode vs No Way Jose

In case you think this match is important we get a PIP of Heyman waiting to be interviewed backstage.

IN the ring, Jose hits an elbow then a few right hands. Whip to the ropes. Jose kicks the chest.

Jose hits the ropes, Spinebuster from Roode! He calls for the DDT. Jose turns around. Kick. DDT! Pin for 1…2…3!!!

Winner: Robert Roode
Meh
Match Quality: NR
Personal Enjoyment: NR
Total Rating: NR

We head to Heyman mocking Charley like a petulant child. He has a question for Charley. Why does he have the exclusive while she doesn’t. Earlier today, there was a declarative statement by the WWE in which Brock gets no rematches against Seth. How does he explain this? Heyman stutters a bit, then decides to walk away. He enters Brock’s locker room and slams the door.

We come back to a match just about to start, and honestly, I don’t even wanna give credit to the entirety of this segment by calling it an actual match. Be prepared for 10 minutes of dumbassery.

Dash starts, gets head scissored, dodges a dropkick with help from his partner. Tag to Dawson. Leg drop. Elbow drop. Headbutt. Dawson mocks Lucha then hits a back suplex. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Dawson works the face, sends Lince into the corner, tags his partner. Whip to Lince, who springboard moonsaults onto both guts.

Truth’s music hits and a bunch of people follow him down the ramp. This is enough for a DQ.

Truth enters the middle of the ring. The Revival hit The Hart Attack and both The Revival cover Truth. 1….2…3!!!

Off the top rope comes Kalisto with a dropkick. Del Sol! Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Wilder pulls the legs out. Carmella enters the ring and rolls truth over Dawson for 1..2…3!!! Dash just lays there like an idiot, checking on his partner, and his is yet another segment of 24/7 that I Just can’t get behind.

Eventually, everyone chases Truth back up the ramp while someone just randomly shouts RUNNING!

Drake Maverick is at the end of the line, running up the ramp. People cheer for Drake. He stands at the top then marches away as Truth comes out the opposite end and Renee Young points out the obvious Bugs Bunny gag that is going down.

We follow Truth backstage. Truth and Carmella are out of breath. Truth is the 72 time champion. That’s more time than Flair and Cena. Elias walks up behind them. He smacks Truth with a guitar. Cover for 1…2….3!!!

We are taken back to the Kill Roman Saga.

We come back to the reality that Roman is not dead.

Natalya’s music hits and she comes out with her arm in a sling and her Louis V belt glimmering in the pink lights.

Oh no, they’re gonna let her talk…

Nattie is sad. She says last night, she faced the best for the championship, and she tapped out. Becky outwrestled her, was the better woman. She has a dislocated elbow and she is getting an MRI tomorrow. She says that she will not take back what she said about Becky. She wouldn’t change a dmaned thing. She meant every word. She doesn’t know when or where, but they will do this again. In the meantime, she wants to share something special with us.

This morning, when she woke up, she remembered in her dream last night that her dad spoke to her. He said congratulations Nattie, he’s so proud of you. It’s been a year today, and

OHHHHH MYYYYY GOOOOODDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!

ITS SASHA FUCKING BANKS!!!!

SASHA HUGS NATTIE AND WHISPERS SOMETHING IN HER EAR. SHE HOLDS NATTIE FOR A WHILE, AND NATTIE STARTS TO CRY.

SASHA ASKS FOR A MIC!!

SHE ATTACKS!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!

SASHA TAKES OFF TH WIG. SHE EXPOSES HER BLUE HAIR.

SHE’S SO FREAKING HOT!!!

SHE BEATS DOWN NATTIE THEN SENDS NAITTIE BACK FIRST INTO THE CORNER!!!! DOUBLE KNEES!!!!! SASHA SENDS NATTIE TO THE OUTSIDE. SASHA SENDS NATTIE INTO THE STEPS! SHE KICKS NATTIE’S ARM HARD.

THANK YOU SASHA CHANT!!

Hahahahaha

Sasha sends Nattie into the steps again, arm first. Sasha grabs a chair. She kicks Nattie in the head. Stomp to the arm over and over. Sasha

Becky’s music hits.

Sasha is nonplussed.

Becky rushes down the ramp, slides in, and Ssaha goes on the attack!!! Red v Blue and they’re going at it!!! Beky with an elbow. Uppercut to Sasha. She leaves the ring, Sasha with a right hand. Sasha sends Becky into the barricade back first. Attack to the head over and over and over!! She send Becky into the barricade.

Sasha grabs the chair from in the ring. She turns. Hard smack to Becky across the back!!! Another!! Over and over and over. She continues the attack till refs come to stop her. Sasha ignores their cries and goes on the attack as Corey calls her crazy. She tosses the chair at the refs. Corey Graves calls her despicable. Sasha pulls up Becky, asks her where her balls are at now, and slaps the shit out of her. Sasha sends Becky into the steps.!

Sasha walks up the ramp, turns, smiles, and continues backstage.

I……

Need a cigarette….

Cole wonders why tonight. Corey say he doesn’t question it at all. He’s known forever. He’s been trying to tell us.

The Viking Raiders are here and I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care….


Match 6: The Viking Raiders vs Jobbers

The Viking Raiders win.

Winner: The Viking Raiders
The Viking Raiders won
Match Quality: NR
Personal Enjoyment: 0
Total Rating: NR

Bliss and her tag team partner are here! They’re facing the Kabuki Warriors tonight.


Match 7: WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship Match
The Kabuki Warriors vs Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross

Alexa and Sane to start. Alexa smacks her one. Sane finger pokes Alexa in the forehead. Go behind, whip to the roeps, cross body from Sane. Asuka in after a tag and kicks then bulldogs alexa. Sane with a sliding knee as well. They attack Nikki then Asuka with a booty bump to Alexa. Sane takes out Nikki. Asuka covers for 1..2…NO!!

Back from a break, and Nikki has control of Sane. She hits a knee, then takes her down for a resthold. Sane rolls through gets a tag, Asuka in with kicks. Whip and she bumps Alexa off the apron. High knee to Nikki. Kick to the chest of Nikki. Again. Another. Another. Asuka hits the ropes. Running knee to Nikki’s head. Asuka locks up from behind. Release German. Tag from Bliss. Bliss rushes the ring, Asuka doesn’t know. DDT to Asuka. Cover for 1..2..N!O!! Sane in to stop the pin. She heads back to the apron as Alexa throws a fit. Bliss grabs Asuka by th e hair. Tag to Nikki. Full Nelson, kick to Bliss though. Asuka with a double attack. Tag to Sane. She lifts Nikki on her shoudlers. Alabama Slam. Kairi calls for the elbow. She heads to the top. She waits. Nikki rolls to the outside. Sane don’t care. She flies off the top with a crossbody. She grabs Nikki and sends her into the ring. Sane goes to the top rope. Elbow drop. Cover for 1..2….NO!!!!! Bliss in with a dropkick to the back. Asuka misses a kick, Bliss rushes to the outside. Asuka follows. Asuka with a kick, but Bliss moves and Asuka kicks the post! Bliss sends Asuka into the post. Alexa heads into the ring and drags Nikki to the corner. Sane drops ak ick, back fist to Alexa.

Swinging neckbeaker from Nikki. Tag to Bliss. Twisted Bliss. Cover for 1..2….3!!!

Winners: Nikki Cross and Alexa Bliss
Awwww, they’re a cute team.
Match Quality: **
Personal Enjoyment: **
Total Rating: **


Main Event: Seth Rollins vs AJ Styles

Kick from AJ but Seth catches it and sends AJ into the corner. Shoulders to AJ over and over. I should note that Seth has his ribs taped up. Seth sits AJ down in the corner and gets a tree of woe. Kicks from Seth. Seth runs with a dropkick. Seth with a kick. AJ goes down. Seth looking for a stomp, but The Club pull AJ out of the ring. Seth with a suicide dive to Gallows. AJ on the outside hits a back body drop to Seth and he hits the mat hard.

Back from the break and Seth is favoring his head. AJ grabs Seth on the apron. He locks the head. AJ goes for a possible Styles Clash but Seth drops down on his feet. Seth trips up AJ by the feet and AJ eats shit. The Club send AJ back in the ring as the ref continues the count. He’s at 9 and heads into the ring just before the 10. AJ grabs Seth. Kicks from AJ. Backhnd. Slingblade from Seth. Clothesline. Seth with an elbow, whip from AJ, revese hard elbow from Seth. Falcon Arrow from Seth! Pin for 1…2..NO!!!!Both men on the corner. Elbow to Seth. Seth flies back up them, locks the head, AJ with headbutts. AJ flies, lands on his feet. Seth with a Superkick!!!! Seth to the top rope. Karl distracts the ref. Gallows shoves Seth off the top! Seth crashes down on the mat. Both men down. Crowd hates em in a good way. The ref sees The Club. He ejects them!!!

AJ yells at the ref a bit. Seth rolls him up for 1..2..NO!!!! Seth misses a right, dodges a Pele kick, kicks AJ in the face!!

The Club enter the ring and attack Seth!!! This is enough for a DQ.

Winner: Seth Rollins via DQ
Good shit till the end, of course.
Match Quality:
Personal Enjoyment:
Total Rating:

Gallows and Anderson continue the beat down .Seth fights back with some rights, but Gallows attacks the back then beats Seth down on the mat. AJ is up. He’s pissed. He attacks Seth some, mounts then punches some more.

Ricochet is here to help. He rushes down the ring, slides under Gallows, drops Karl, then Gallows. AJ misses a clothesline. Kick from Ricochet. He dodges Fallows in the corner, but Gallows gets him on the shoulders. Boot of Doom as Karl bounces off the ropes! Anderson grabs Ricochet and sends him outside hard. Seth is up in the corner. AJ locks the head. The Club attacks. AJ gets on the top rope. Gallows and Anderson beat Seth down a bit. They grab him as AJ calls for a set up. Styles Clash is about to go down until

Braun Strowman’s music hits and out comes the big man. He truks AAnderson, hits the ring, tackles Gallows down. Kick from aj. He attacks the legs. Another kick. Tilt a whirl powerslam to AJ! Another powerslam to AJ.

Braun looks over at Seth. He then leaves the ring and grabs the title from the timekeeper. Braun takes the belt and enters the ring. He hands the title over to Seth, then pulls it back to look at it. He hands it back over to Seth, then shakes the hand of Seth.

End Show.

article topics :

411's WWE RAW Report, WWE, Tony Acero