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411’s WWE Smackdown Report 1.15.19

January 15, 2019 | Posted by Tony Acero
Shane-McMahon-Miz-Smackdown-1-15-19 Image Credit: WWE


I bet you thought you seen the last of me…


Welcome to the blue brand! It’s your loyal and trusted buddy, Tony Acero, and I’m here to tell you that the very next day after manscaping is so fucking annoying.

Backstage, Becky is pullin up in her swank SUV. Someone tries to interview her about earning the right to face Asuka. Is she ready? Becky wonders why they’ve been waiting. She knows the answer, but she’ll answer it in the ring. She tosses her keys at the interviewer and runs into New Day showing Heavy Machinery how to make a shake. MiniFat Bastard and his partner chug down a blended cup of bullshit. Becky walks up, Xavier exposes his shirt that says “THE MAN,” then watches as Becky tastes the concoction, calls it weak, and walks towards the ring.

She comes to the ring to huge applause.

Becky says that in two weeks, she gets the chance to take back her title. This is the same title that she got the whole world talking about. Where is it now? The whole roster thinks that what she is doing is a fluke – getting the whole world to listen, creating a buzz, being the man – as if it’s easy, until they try it. And they are all trying. Men and women are all trying to be a bad ass. The SD Woman’s champ is finding out how hard leading this division really is. There are those that try to discredit her; that she is hype, and yet she delivers on everything she says every single time. If you really wanna talk about hype, Asuka walked into last year’s Wrestlemania indestructible, unbeatable. If you were to believe her hype, and yet she lost. Not only did she lose, but it shook her to her core, and she fell off the radar. She, the invincible Asuka, couldn’t beat once the woman she has beaten around the world five months around the world, and yet Asuka asks if she is ready for…her?

Asuka comes out, says Becky likes hype and talk, buzz buzz buzz like a bee, but no sting. After Royal Rumble, Becky will not be in Charlotte’s shadow, she will be in Asuka’s!

The Iiconics have heard enough, it appears, and come out to probably create the obvious and inevitable tag team match because the idea worked so well on Smackdown.

They claim this is not how Asuka should behave as a champion. Where is the dignity and the class? How bout the Bully Becky? Typical behavior from a man. All of this nonsense is temporary, though, because it doesn’t matter who wins the title match – they are going to win the women’s royal rumble match and then become the first ever WWE Women Tag Team Champions. AAAAHHHH. THEEEEN they will make Wrestlemania Iconic.

Becky looks towards Asuka. If she wants to know what the buzz is about, she will show her. She wants to know which of these two will step in the ring right now, making me completely wrong in my assumption that this would turn into a tag – and that makes me very happy.


Match 1: Becky Lynch vs Peyton Royce

We come back to the match in progress. Lacey Evans is watching backstage. Becky rolls out of a submission and stomps the arm. Peyton slides to the outside. Becky with a baseball slide that doesn’t touch Royce. She gets sent into the ring then takes advantage of the slowness and stomps then kicks Becky down in the corner. Right hand to the face. Whip from Becky is reersed and Peyton hits a clothesline in the conrer. Right hand to the back. Peyton drives a leg to the abck of Becky’s head against the ropes. Snapmare and an elbow to the shoulder. Another. Cravat from behind. Becky stands and turns into the hold then hits a few elbows. Peyton drops her down. Becky kicks out of the corner. She goes up top and dives with a battering ram. Cover for 1..2..NO!!!

My feed changed to some sports memories shit and threw me way the fuck off, but Becky won. Obvi.

Winner: Becky lynch
Meh
Match Quality: *
Personal Enjoyment: *
Total Rating: *

Asuka wants to prove herself too, so she leaves the ring and grabs Billie Kay, sending her back in the ring. The bell rings and …

Match 2: Asuka vs Billie Kay

Asuka with an ass to the face. Sliding knee and a cover for 1..2..NO!!! Armbar from Asuka!!!! She tursn towards Becky and stares at Becky right in the face, talkin some shit. Kay rolls Asuka up for 1..2..NO!!

Asuka reverses into the Asuka Lock and Kay taps immediately.

Winner: Asuka

Match Quality: NR
Personal Enjoyment: NR
Total Rating:NR

Becky enters the ring. She goes face to face with Asuka. Before she can say anything, AJ Styles music hits.

AJ makes his way down to the ramp, then hops over the barricade and walks up the steps.

We come back from a commercial, and AJ Styles is at the concession stand where a table full of hotdogs and sodas are chillin. AJ is ready to give them to the fans. Bryan says these people were losers but AJ doesn’t think so. They spent their money to be here, and they can eat what they want. GET YOU SOME. These people are no different from the fans in Arizona, when they see him kick Daniel Bryan’s ass. AJ strts tossing t shirts and hars and shit. From out of the crowd is a man in a hoodie. He attacks AJ Styles. ITS BRYAN!!! He sends Styles into the wall. They wrestle,and AJ grabs Bryan and slams him into the table full of hot dogs. Mustard and ketchup is everywhere. Security is here to hold Aj back!

Backstage, The Usos are doing a photo shoot for Royal Rumble. In comes a gift. It’s a red box. They open it up, and it’s a rose. In it is a letter.

“Dear Jimmy, I’ve been a naughty girl and I need you to lock me up in Uso Penitentary. I’ll be waiting. – Love, Mandy.”

Also in the box is a key to a hotel room.

Backstage, Samoa Joe is walking. He is stopped by the presence of EC3, staring at himself in the mirror. Joe shakes his head and heads to the rig.

Backstage, for the third time, we get an interview with Andrade and Vega. How does he plan on carrying his momentum into the main event. He ays that Rey was his idol, but last week they showed Rey that time has changed. Now, he is the future. Vega says it’s 2019, and in that future, Andrade beats Rey, eliminates 29 other men, and wins the WWE Title in the main event at Mania.

Before Ali could make his full entrance, Samoa Joe attacks him from behnid and beats that ass don. He sends him to the outside of the ring and sends him into the ring post face first.

It appears Mustafa is dead.

The ref makes Joe back up, and he does, but only for a second. He runs back towards Ali and lifts him up then punches him a few times and headbutts his ass down hard. He lifts Ali up and screams in his face. He then tosses him into the ringpost again.

Joe isn’t done! He grabs Ali, then sends him into the barricade.

Backstage, Deville is with Rose, asking her if she is sure she wants to do this. She’s bein kinda scandalous. She can’t stand Naomi. If there is any way she can make Naomi’s life the slightest bit more miserable? Why not. So she’s going to go break up a marriage.

Backstage, Joe is asked what provoked him to attack Ali. Joe says that this was a statement. Soon, he will enter his very first Royal Rumble match. He yells at the 29 other superstars and says what he did with Ali is the respect he will show them. He will hunt down every champion and put them to sleep.


Match 3: Rey Mysterio vs Andrade Cien Almas

Here. We. Go! Lockup! Almas pushes Rey away. Test of strength. They go bak to back. Rey flips over the head, Almas trips the feet, Rey lifts him with the feeet, both on their feet, arm drag. Both men on their feet again, and we have a standoff. Test of strength again, but Almas goes behind, holds and they do some slick chain wrestling, nearly gets a pin, but Rey stands out of it. Hard chop to Rey. Side headlock from Rey. Into the ropes, Rey cinches the hold. Almas pushes Rey into the corner. Rey flips off and grabs the hold in yet again. He drives Almas down, Almas rolls this into a pin for 1..NO! Rey turns it back. He stands, holding it still. Almas pushes to the ropes. Creates separation. Rey hits the ropes. Almas drops down. Rey drops too and gets the hold back in!

Almas flips Rey over his head, turns, and kicks him hard in the gut. Almas locks the arm up behind Rey. Rey bounces Almas off the ropes, but Almas doesn’t let go of the hold! Rey stands, grabs the head from in front, elbows back a few times, so Almas just tosses him into the corner hard chest first. Almas goes back to the left arm, tweaking it a bit. Rey flips onto his knees. Almas works the arm. Kick to the thigh. Almas works the arm. Rey hits some kicks. He walks the ropes and gets a hurricanrana! Rey hits the ropes, another one!!! This one sends Almas to the outside. Rey hits the ropes. Almas back in. Wheelbarrow, and Rey tosses Almas into the ropes. He goes for the 619, but Almas moves, Almas goes for the hammerlock DDT, but Rey turns it into a pin for 1..2.NO!!! Reversed by Almas for 1..2.NO!!! Both men up. Almas says “this close.”

Almas hits the corner with a knee. He goes for a dropkick, but Rey holds onto the ropes. He kicks Almas down. Rey with a springboard ont othe shoulders of Almas. Rey flips Almas over the top rope, but this fool lands on his feet with Rey still on his shoulders!!! POWERBOMB!!! DEEEYUM!

Back, and Rey hits the ropes for a springboard moonsault, but Andrda catches him! He turns him, and Rey grabs the head for a DDT!!! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Vega is stressed. Rey eats an elbow. Andrade flips through, misses a kick, so sends Rey into the corner hard. Almas hits the ropes and runs with some knees to Rey’s face! Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Rey is up. He sends Almas into the corner face first. He heads to the top rope. Almas pulls the legs out though, and Rey is seated horizontally across the ropes. Right hand from ALmas. Almas goes to th top rope. Rey slinks through. He shoves Almas. Almas falls onto the apron. Rey heads to the top rope. Almas stands. Rey flies. HURRICANRANA OFF THE TOP ONTO THE MAT!!! Rey back to the top rope!!! Senton onto Almas!!!

Back, after like two commercials. Stupid. We get a pin from ALmas, but Rey escapes. Rey grabs the head of Almas. Whi pto the ropes and it’s reversed. Another hurricanrana, but he turns it into a freakin pin!!! 1…2…NO!!! Enziguri from Rey. He hits the ropes. Almas with a hard spinning elbow! He goes for a pin but only gets a 1..2..NO!!! Rey sets up for the same move from last week but Almas won’t let it. He drops Rey then goes to the top rope! Moonsault! Rey moves! Almas lands on his feet! STANDING MOONSAULT IMMEDIATELY AFTER! Pin for 1..2…NO!!!! Mysterio is up. They wrestle. REY WITH THE DESTROYER! Pin for 1..2…NO!!!!

Rey calls for the 619. He waits for Almas. Almas is ready. Rey goes for it! Almas catches him!!! He sets up with a fireman’s, but Rey with a crucifix pin/slam! 1..2…NO!!!! 619 to Almas! Vega tried to stop it! Rey hits the corner. He’s up top.

Vega on the apron. Almas is up and crotches ReY! Hammerlock DDT from the turnbuckle! Pin from ALmas! 1..2……3!!!

Winner: Andrade Cien Almas
Wow
Match Quality: ****
Personal Enjoyment: ****
Total Rating: ****

We head to the hotel where Mandy Rose lays in wait. Jimmy gets to the door, and we go to commercial.
Back from the commercial, and the ring is ready to celebrate Shane’s birthday. Miz is in the ring already. He welcomes us all to the best birthday bash in the world. Of couse, we need a birthday boy in order to have a birthday bash.

Here comes Shane.

Shane is smilin n grinnin. He shakes The Miz’s hand. Miz ishes Shane a happy birthday. Shane thanks him, thanks Birmingham. Shane says he’s a little uncomfortable with birthday parties. Miz takes offense. This is not Chuck E Cheese’s. This is an arena full of his fans. He called Shane’s fave bakery and asked for a specific cake. He has two specialty cakes here. One of the cakes has a photo of Miz and Shane winning the Best in the World trophy. This thing means so much to him. As much as he hopes this gift means to Shane. It was so hard to shop for Shane, says Miz. He can only imagine the birthdays growing up, but Miz tried.

Shane opens up the gift. It’s a new pair of Jordans!!

Shane shills the shoes and Miz says they can wear any color they want. Next gift is a video, and we get a package of Shane.

Shane says he is speechless and he wants to thank The Miz for coming out here and opening up and telling us all about what it means to Miz with his dad. Shane wants to open up as well. Ever since he was a kid, he always dreamt about being tag team champions. His first partner was going to be Andre, but he is very proud to be walking into the rumble with Miz as his partner.

They hug.

Miz says that come Rumble, Shane’s dreams are coming true. But first, it’s time for everyone to help him sing Happy Birthday to Shane.

Shane don’t want it.

Miz don’t care.

The crowd and Miz sing. They are interrupted by The Bar. Shane says this is embarrassing, especially that they are having a party without inviting The Bar. In fact, they didn’t invite Vince either. Or they did, but he didn’t care.

Shane brings up the double team last week. Sheamus must think of himself as a real tough guy. Shane has an idea. Since he’s so tough, how about he takes on The MIz tonight. Miz says h’s not dressed for that. He’s In a suit. Shane says he wasn’t either during the tournament. Miz is the A-lister, the most must see superstar in history. Miz is down.


Match 4: The Miz vs Sheamus

Back just as the bell rings. Sheamus locks up Miz in the corner. Miz fights out of the corner with lefts and rights. Whip to the ropes, Miz holds on, Sheamus tumbles to the outside and nearly falls into the cake. Miz slides through the ropes to hit Sheamus. Sheamus stops him and hits a right. He sends Miz back into the ring. Kick to Miz. Another. Sheamus sends Miz into the corner. Shoulders to Miz Sheamus hits the corner and comes back with a high kick to the face. Sheamus grabs Miz and locks him up on the ropes. He rios the shirt and beats Miz down on the chest. Sheamus shoves Miz off the apron. Sheamus goes for White Noise, but Miz reverses for a pin. 1..2..NO!! Sheamus rips the shirt off of Miz and cinches the head. He drags Miz into the center of the ring and keeps the hold. Miz with some axes. He runs into a tilt a while. Skull Crushi—-No, Shemaus rolls out of it. Kick from Miz in the conrer. Another kick out of the corner. Left hand. Another. Another into the corner over and over .Whip to Sheamus is reversed. Miz side steps a shoulder. He hits the ropes. DROPKICK! Miz hits the corner and runs with another dropkick! He goes for a third, but Sheamus hits a hard clothesine. Sheamus sends Miz into the ropes over and over. Cesaro hits him off of a distraction, but Sheamus hops on the apron, grabs Cesaro, and pulls him off, sending him into the cake!!!

Sheamus is distracted now. Miz with a rollup. Pin for 1…2…3!!!

Winner: The Miz
Let them eat cake…
Match Quality: *1/2
Personal Enjoyment: *1/2
Total Rating: *1/2

After th match, Sheamus attacks Miz. Shane is in. Spinning back elbow off the ropes. Skull Crushing Finale from Miz. Shane drags Sheamus into the corner. Miz calls for it. Shane hops up to the top rope. Sheamus is prone as Shane calls for Coast to Coast. Miz grabs the top tier of the cake that isn’t busted and holds it in front of Sheamus’s face. Shane stands. He flies!!! Cake to the face of Sheamus!!

End Show

article topics :

Smackdown, WWE, Tony Acero