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411’s WWE TLC Report 12.16.12

December 16, 2012 | Posted by Scott Slimmer

Welcome to 411’s WWE TLC 2012 Report. For even more coverage, don’t forget to follow me on Twitter at @ScottSlimmer.

We are LIVE in beautiful Brooklyn, New York.

“Santa’s Helper” No. 1 Contender’s Diva Battle Royal
Layla vs. Kaitlyn vs. Natalya vs. Tamina Snuka vs. Alicia Fox vs. Rosa Mendes vs. Aksana vs. Cameron vs. Naomi

All nine Divas go at it to start, and Natalya quickly back body drops Rosa Mendes over the top rope for the first elimination of the match. Tamina works over Kaitlyn in the corner as Cameron and Naomi hit Aksana with a double team suplex in the middle of the ring. Tamina grabs Cameron by the hair and easily whips her out of the ring. Aksana hits Layla with a facebuster. Aksana then climbs onto the second rope and hangs there awkwardly for WAAAY to long until Layla gets around to drop kicking her off the rope and down to the floor. Layla and Tamina battle with Layla on the ring apron, and Tamina eventually punches Layla off the apron. Natalya soon gets tossed, and we’re down to Kaitlyn, Naomi, and Tamina. I’m not sure what the hell happened to Alicia Fox, but she’s clearly no longer in the ring. Kaitlyn and Naomi team up to toss Tamina, and we’re down to the two finalists from NXT Season 3. Naomi leap frogs Kaitlyn, but Kaitlyn levels Naomi with a shoulder tackle. Kaitlyn ends up on the ring apron, and Eve cheap shots her from behind. Naomi takes advantage and drop kicks Kaitlyn off the ring apron to win the Battle Royal. Naomi will face Eve for the Divas Championship later tonight on the main card.

Match Result: Naomi wins the “Santa’s Helper” No. 1 Contender’s Divas Battle Royal
Match Length: 5:25

No. 1 Contenders’ Tag Team Tables Match
Rey Mysterio & Sin Cara vs. Team Rhodes Scholars
Rey Mysterio & Sin Cara vs. Team Rhodes Scholars

Mysterio and Sandow face off as Sin Cara and Rhodes go at it. Just to be clear, only ONE members of a team has to go through a table in order for their opponents to win the match. Mysterio and Sin Cara toss Rhodes out of one side of the ring and toss Sandow out of the other. Mysterio and Sin Cara retrieve a table from under the ring as Rhodes slides back into the ring. Mysterio and Sin Cara bring the table into the ring and slam it into Rhodes. Sandow slides back into the ring, and Mysterio and Sin Cara follow up by slamming the table into Sandow. Mysterio sets up the table as positions Sandow on it as Sin Cara heads up top, but Rhodes heads up top to prevent Sin Cara from taking flight. Sandow climbs off the table and tosses Mysterio out of the ring. Sandow and Rhodes try to hit Sin Cara with a double team facebuster through the table, but Sin Cara floats over and lands on his feet. Sin Cara tosses Sandow, but Rhodes levels Sin Cara with the Disaster Kick. Sandow whips Mysterio into the barrier on the outside and heads back into the ring. Rhodes tosses Sin Cara out of the ring, and both members of Team Rhodes Scholars head to the outside. Sandow again whips Mysterio into the barrier as Rhodes traps Sin Cara’s leg between the ring steps and the ring post. Rhodes and Sandow slam a table into the steps to crush Sin Cara’s leg between the steps and the post. Sandow once again whips Mysterio into the barrier as Rhodes sets up two tables next to each other at ringside. Sandow and Rhodes put Mysterio and Rhodes on the tables at ringside before heading back into the ring. Sandow looks to launch Rhodes over the top ropes and onto Mysterio and Sin Cara, but Mysterio springs up and trips Sandow. Mysterio heads into the ring and tosses Rhodes with a head scissors. Sin Cara climbs into the ring and tosses Sandow with a head scissors of his own. Mysterio rolls Rhodes back into the ring, but Rhodes goes for the Alabama Slamma through the table, but Mysterio counters into the 619. Mysterio sets Rhodes on the table and head up top, but Sandow pops up onto the ring apron and knocks Mysterio’s legs out from under him. Sandow and Rhodes slam the table into Mysterio to knock him down to the floor. Sin Cara back body drops Rhodes onto the ring apron and catches Sandow with a kick to the back of the head. Sin Cara goes for a springboard move on Sandow, but Rhodes pushes him backward off the top rope and through the two tables at ringside to win the match.

Match Result: Cody Rhodes pushes Sin Cara off the top rope and through two tables at ringside to win the match.
Match Length: 9:31

United States Championship Match
Antonio Cesaro (Champion) vs. R-Truth
Antonio Cesaro vs. R-Truth

Cesaro and Truth lock up to start, and Truth muscles Cesaro to the corner. Truth levels Cesaro, but Cesaro regains control with a knee to the gut. Cesaro drops Truth with a shoulder block and gets a quick two count. Cesaro applies a standing side head lock, but Truth whips Cesaro to the ropes to break the hold. Truth catches Cesaro with a Victory Roll for a two count of his own. Truth gets a headlock takedown, but Cesaro muscles up and hits Truth with a back suplex to break the hold. Cesaro goes to work with the ground and pound and follows up with a head butt. Cesaro whips Truth to the ropes and drops him with another knee to the gut. Cesaro drops down to the mat and locks in something akin to a modified Cobra Clutch before dragging Truth up to his feet and slamming his head into the top turnbuckle. Cesaro bounces Truth’s head off of all four turnbuckles, but this only seems to revitalize Truth (did he just Truth Up?). Truth hits Cesaro with the Lie Detector and gets a long two count. Cesaro gets back to his feet and catches Truth with the European Uppercut out of nowhere. Cesaro hits Truth with the Neutralizer and gets the three count.

Match Result: Antonio Cesaro defeats R-Truth with the Neutralizer.
Match Length: 6:41

The Miz makes his way to the ring to welcome us to a very special PPV edition of MizTV. MizTV is always unpredictable – one minute it’s hard hitting television, the next minute it’s a total train wreck. And speaking of train wreck, Miz would like to introduce us to his guests at this time… 3MB. Heath Slater, Jinder Mahal, and Drew McIntyre make their way to the ring and air jam all over Miz’ furniture. Miz tries to ask his first question, but Slater has a question for Miz. Where does he get off calling them a train wreck? Miz asks where they get off calling themselves a band. Drew McIntyre has news for Brooklyn – 3MB is bigger, better, and badder than that idiot Jay-Z. The Rolling Stones only wish they could jam out with 3MB. Tomorrow night at the Slammy Awards, 3MB will perform. Miz congratulates them on setting the official bathroom break for the Slammys. Jinder Mahal mocks the Spanish announce team because they can’t speak English. 3MB heads out of the ring and Slater tells the Spanish announcers that in this country we speak American. Ricardo Rodriguez rushes to ringside and asks 3MB to stop, out of respect. 3MB begins to rough up Ricardo, but Alberto Del Rio makes the save. Holy shit… did we just see a Del Rio face turn? Del Rio goes after 3MB, but the numbers eventually get the better of him. 3MB rolls Del Rio into the ring and beat him down to the mat, but Miz makes the save and evens the odds. Miz and Del Rio toss 3MB out of the ring. Slater doesn’t like the way this has played out, so he makes a challenge. Miz, Del Rio, and a partner of their choice vs. 3MB, later tonight. The crowd chants for Ryder as 3MB heads back up the ramp.

Intercontinental Championship Match
Kofi Kingston (Champion) vs. Wade Barrett
Kofi Kingston vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett takes control right away and hits Kingston with a scoop slam for a two count. “Let’s Go Barrett! Let’s Go Barrett!” chant from the crowd. Barrett locks in a side head lock, but Kingston whips Barrett to the ropes to break the hold. Kingston catches Barrett with a drop kick to the jaw for a two count of his own. Barrett clotheslines Kingston over the top rope and follows him to the outside. Barrett whips Kingston toward the ring apron, but Kingston leaps into the ring. Barrett follows him back in and hits a sweet springboard back breaker. Barrett locks in a bow-and-arrow and follows up with a tilt-a-whirl back breaker for a two count. Barrett heads up to the second rope and drops the elbow for yet another two count. Barrett locks in a rear chin lock and goes for another springboard back breaker, but Kingston counters into a side Russian leg sweep. Kinston regains control with a series of clotheslines and follows up with the Boom Drop. Kingston sets up for Trouble in Paradise, but Barrett ducks and goes for a side slam, but Kingston counters into the SOS for a two count. Kingston traps Barrett in the corner and heads up top for the mounted punches. Barrett pushes Kingston back to the middle of the ring and hits a swinging side slam for a two count. Kingston heads up top and hits a top rope diving cross body, but Barrett rolls through into a cover for a two count. Kingston rolls up Barrett for a two count, but Barrett hits another swinging side slam for another two count. Barrett sets up for the Bull Hammer, but Kingston counters into Trouble in Paradise for the three count.

Match Result: Kofi Kingston defeats Wade Barrett with Trouble in Paradise.
Match Length: 8:23

CM Punk and Paul Heyman are up in their own private skybox. Apparently everyone wants a status update on Punk’s knee, but Heyman says fuhgeddaboudit. Punk says the truth is that the status of his knee is none of our business, but the truth is also that Ryback is stupid and lucky. He’s stupid enough to that he injured Punk enough that Punk can’t compete tonight, and he’s lucky enough that he injured Punk enough that Punk can’t compete tonight. Punk’s track record at TLC speaks for itself. The fact is that Punk is the longest reigning WWE Champion of the modern era. Punk started 2012 as the WWE Champion, and he’ll end it as such. And the scary thing is that he’s just getting started.

TLC Match
Ryback & Team Hell No vs. The Shield
Ryback & Team Hell No vs. The Shield

The Shield enter through the crowd, and Ryback, Bryan, and Kane immediately attack them at ringside to start the match. Ryback and Ambrose face off in the ring as Bryan & Rollins and Kane & Reigns face off on the outside. Ryback takes control and slams Ambrose’s head into the mat, but Rollins and Reigns make the save. Rollins and Reigns toss Ryback as Kane retrieves a ladder from under the ring. Kane tries to slide the ladder into the ring, but Rollins drop kicks in into Kane’s chest. The Shield retrieve the ladder and use it to take out Bryan, but Ryback takes the ladder from them and repeatedly drives it into Ambrose and Rollins. Reigns tries to take the ladder from Ryback, but Kane makes the save with a chair. Bryan sets up the ladder in the corner, and Kane and Bryan whip Reigns into the ladder for a two count. Bryan heads to the outside, but Ambrose slams his face into the ring post. Rollins comes off the top rope, but Kane catches him with a mid-air punch for a two count. Kane sandwiches Rollins inside the ladder and beats him senseless with the chair, but Ambrose makes the save and DDTs Kane onto the chair. Ryback heads back into the ring and muscles Ambrose into the corner. Ryback turns his attention to Rollins, but Ambrose comes to the rescue and holds Ryback as Rollins drives the ladder into his Ryback’s gut. Rollins sets up the ladder in the corner, and Ambrose and Rollins try to whip Ryback into the ladder, but Ryback blocks and levels both men. Ryback whips Ambrose and Rollins into the ladder and splashes them both. Ryback sets the ladder the middle of the ring and double suplexes Ambrose and Rollins onto it. Ambrose has a cartoonishly exaggerated expression of pain on his face at this point. Reigns helps to even the odds, and the Shield whips Ryback out of the ring. Reigns sets up the Spanish announce table, and the Shield hit Ryback with a triple team powerbomb through the table. The turn to face the ring and eat a suicide dive from Bryan. Bryan and Rollins head back into the ring, and Bryan takes control with a chair. Ambrose scoop slams Bryon onto the chair, and Rollins follows up with a chair shot to Bryan on the mat. Rollins sets up a table in the ring as Ambrose once again scoop slams Bryan onto a chair. Rollins and Ambrose set a table on the top turnbuckle and ram Bryan’s neck into the edge of the table. Ambrose and Rollins head up on top of the table with Bryan. AMBROSE AND ROLLINS HIT BRYAN WITH A DOUBLE TEAM SUPLEX OFF A TABLE ON THE TOP ROPE! Ambrose goes for the cover, but Kane makes the save. Ambrose and Rollins try to heads up top with Kane, but Kane knocks Rollins all the way down to the floor. Kane comes off the table and levels Ambrose with a flying clothesline. Reigns evens the odds, and Ambrose tries to DDT Kane onto a set-up chair, but Kane counters and choke slams Ambrose onto the set-up chair. Kane goes for the cover, but Reigns makes the save. Reigns and Kane head to the outside. REIGNS SPEARS KANE STRAIGHT THROUGH THE BARRIER ON THE OUTSIDE! Rollins and Reigns bury Kane in the rubble of the barrier and the announce table. “This is awesome! This is awesome! This is awesome!” chant from the crowd. Rollins and Reigns survey their handiwork on the outside, but Bryan heads back into the ring and locks Ambrose in the No Lock. Ambrose nearly taps, but Rollins and Reigns eventually turn around and make the save. Ambrose sets up a chair in the ring, and Ambrose and Rollins go for a double team brainbuster on the chair, but Bryan floats over. Bryan fights back, but Rollins eventually catches him with a bicycle kick onto the chair. Ryback comes back to life and launches Rollins out of the ring onto Ambrose. Ryback sets a chair in the middle of the ring and sets up for a powerbomb, but Ambrose makes the save. Ryback destroys Ambrose with the Meat Hook Clothesline and follows up with Shell Shocked, but Rollins and Reigns make the save at two. Ryback whips Rollins out of the ring and follows him to the outside. Ryback pounds on Rollins and Reigns at ringside and bounces them of the ladders and chairs that have been set up on the ramp. Reigns takes Ryback down and goes to work with the ground and pound. Ryback sets up Rollins for a powerbomb on the stage, but Ambrose makes the save. Ambrose and Reigns pound on Ryback with chairs, and Rollins tips a ladder onto him. Ambrose sets Ryback on a table next to a very large ladder. Rollins heads up the ladder, but Ryback gets off the table and chases him off the ladder. RYBACK PUSHES ROLLINS OFF THE TOP OF THE LADDER AND THROUGH FOUR TABLES ON THE STAGE! Ambrose and Reigns are back in the ring with Bryan. Reigns heads up to the second rope, and Ambrose sets Bryan on his shoulders. Reigns powerbombs Bryan off the second rope and through a table for the three count.

Match Result: Roman Reigns defeats Daniel Bryan with a powerbomb off the second rope through a table.
Match Length: 22:44

Divas Championship Match
Eve (Champion) vs. Naomi

Naomi quickly takes control, turns Eve inside out, and hits a leg drop for a two count. Eve rolls to the outside to catch a breather as Naomi dances in the ring. Eve climbs up onto the ring apron and Naomi connects with a forearm shot, but Even whips Naomi’s neck onto the top rope. Even heads back into the ring and locks in an overhead wrist lock. Naomi breaks the hold and follows up with a hurricanrana. Naomi heads up top and goes for a diving cross body, but Eve rolls out of the ring causing Naomi to crash down to the mat. Eve drags Naomi back to her feet and hits the Heart Breaker for the three count.

Match Result: Eve Torres defeats Naomi with the Heart Breaker.
Match Length: 3:07

Chairs Match for the World Heavyweight Championship
Big Show (Champion) vs. Sheamus
Big Show vs. Sheamus

Sheamus goes right after Show’s legs and manages to take the big man down to the mat. Sheamus retrieves a chair from under the ring and takes it into the ring, but Show kicks it to the outside. Show heads to the outside, but Sheamus gives chase with a chair in hand. Show puts on the brakes and kicks the chair into Sheamus’ face. Show rolls Sheamus back into the ring and looks for a chair of his own, but Sheamus comes off the ring apron with a diving shoulder tackle. Show levels Sheamus, rolls him back into the ring, and steps right on his chest. Show again heads out of the ring and looks for a chair, but Sheamus follows him out and finds a chair first. Show flees back into the ring, but Sheamus follows him in and connects with three chair shots. Sheamus scoop slams Show for a two count. Sheamus heads up top with a chair and comes off the top rope with a diving chair-assisted battering ram. Sheamus heads back up top with the chair and goes for another diving chair-assisted battering ram, but Show spears Sheamus and the chair in mid-air. Sheamus rolls to the outside, and Show beats him on the ring steps. Show rolls Sheamus back into the ring and once again steps on his chest. Show slams a chair onto Sheamus’ back and chokes him against the second rope. Show drags Sheamus back to his feet and head butts him back to the mat. Show splashes Sheamus in the corner and begins to climb over the top rope to get a chair, but Sheamus dives into the top rope to crotch Show. Sheamus and Show slug it out on their knees, but Show eventually catches Sheamus with a choke slam for a two count. Show tosses four chairs into the ring and punts Sheamus in the ribs. Show connects with a chair shot to Sheamus’ back, puts a chair on Sheamus’ chest, and connects with a second rope splash onto the chair and Sheamus for a LOOONG two count. Show sets up two chairs facing each other and tries to choke slam Sheamus onto them, but SHEAMUS COUNTERS AND HITS WHITE NOISE ON THE CHAIRS! Sheamus sets up for the Brogue Kick, but Show counters into the Knockout Punch. Show goes for the cover… BUT SHEAMUS KICKS OUT OF THE KNOCKOUT PUNCH! “No KO for Show!” – 21st Century American poet, Michael Cole. Show heads out of the ring and gets a REALLY FUCKING BIG CHAIR from under the ring. Seriously, it’s freaking huge. Show hits Sheamus with the REALLY FUCKING BIG CHAIR and gets the three count.

Match Result: Big Show defeats Sheamus with a shot from a REALLY FUCKING BIG CHAIR
Match Length: 14:08

The Miz, Alberto Del Rio, & The Brooklyn Brawler vs. 3MB

Del Rio and Mahal start the match, but Brawler makes the blind tag. Slater also gets a blind tag and levels Brawler with a super kick. McIntyre gets the tag the suplexes Brawler for a two count. Slater gest the tag and goes for a top rope splash, but Brawler rolls out of the way. Miz gets the tag and cleans house. Mahal gets the tag, but Miz traps him in the corner and hits his patented running clothesline. Miz hits Mahal with a DDT for a two count. Del Rio and Ricardo take out McIntyre and Slater as Miz hits Mahal with the Skull Crushing Finale. Brawler gets the tags, locks in the Brooklyn Crab, and makes Mahal tap.

Match Result: The Brooklyn Brawler defeats Jinder Mahal with the Brooklyn Crab.
Match Length: 3:19

Ladder Match for the World Heavyweight Championship Money in the Bank Contract
John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler
John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler

The crowd is strongly behind Ziggler as the match begins. “Let’s go Ziggler! Cena sucks! Let’s go Ziggler! Cena sucks!” Ziggler evades Cena for a bit, but Cena eventually catches him with a side headlock takedown. “You can’t wrestle! You can’t wrestle!” Ziggler fights back to his feet and reverses into a side headlock of his own. Cena counters into a fisherman’s suplex and follows up with a monkey flip out of the corner. Of course, Cena damn near flipped himself out of the ring while setting up for the monkey flip. Ziggler rolls to the outside, waits for Cena to follows, and catches him with a chair to the gut. Ziggler rolls Cena back into the ring and wedges the chair between the second and top ropes. Cena catches Ziggler with a flapjack and gets a ladder from under the ring. Ziggler hits a baseball slide to kick the ladder into Cena’s chest. Ziggler tries to set up the ladder in the middle of the ring, but Cena takes the ladder from him and drives it into him. Cena has some sort of cut under his right eye that is noticeably bleeding. Cena tosses Ziggler out of the ring and nails him with the ring steps. “Let’s go Cena! Cena sucks! Let’s go Cena! Cena sucks!” Cena sets up a table and a ladder in the ring. Cena and Ziggler slug it out in the ring until Ziggler locks in the Sleeper Hold. Cena is about to pass out from the Sleeper, but he still tries to climb the ladder with Ziggler on his back. Cena makes it all the way to the top and grabs for the briefcase, but as he does he passes out, falling off the ladder, sending both himself and Ziggler through the table next to the ladder. Pretty cool spot right there. Ziggler climbs the ladder, but CENA FOLDS THE LADDER AND LIFTS BOTH THE LADDER AND ZIGGLER ONTO HIS SHOULDERS. HO. LEE. SHIT. Cena tries to dump both the ladder and Ziggler to the outside, but Ziggler slides off the ladder as Cena heaves it over the top rope. Ziggler drags the ladder back into the ring, but Cena catches him in the STF. Ziggler makes it to the ropes, but that doesn’t break the hold in a MitB match. Ziggler taps, but that doesn’t break the hold in a MitB match. Ziggler appear to pass out from the pain, and Cena grabs the ladder. Ziggler gets to his feet on the ring apron and Cena tries to level him with the ladder, but Ziggler connects with a shoulder to the gut to make Cena drop the ladder. Ziggler goes for a slingshot shoulder tackle, but Cena catches him and goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Ziggler counters into the Zig Zag. Ziggler sets up a table in the corner, Cena again goes for the Attitude Adjustment, and Ziggler again counters, this time into a leaping DDT. Ziggler retrieves a ladder from the ramp and sets it up right under the briefcase. Ziggler climbs the ladder, but Cena climbs the other side. Ziggler and Cena slug it out up top, and Cena knocks Ziggler off the ladder. Cena goes for the briefcase, but Ziggler climbs the ladder behind Cena. Ziggler and Cena climb off the ladder, and Ziggler slams Cena’s head into the ladder. Cena gets back to his feet and… JOHN CENA HURRICANRANAS DOLPH ZIGGLER THROUGH THE TABLE IN THE CORNER. Seriously, Cena just hit a hurricanrana. Wow. Cena picks up the ladder, but Ziggler drop kicks him in the chest, causing Cena to toss the ladder out of the ring. “This is awesome! This is awesome! This is awesome!” Cena traps Ziggler in the corner and takes him up top, but Ziggler knocks Cena back down to the mat. Ziggler dives at Cena, but Cena rolls through, gets to his feet, and lifts Ziggler onto his shoulders, but Ziggler grabbed a chair during the roll and uses it to break Cena’s hold. Ziggler clear the ring of tables and chairs and goes for a super kick, but Cena counters into the Attitude Adjustment. Ziggler bounces out of the ring, but Vickie Guerrero appears at ringside. Vickie climbs into the ring with a chair, but AJ makes the save and drops Vickie with a shoulder tackle. AJ hits Cena’s patented Five Knuckle Shuffle on Vickie and celebrates at Vickie rolls out of the ring. AJ skips in the ring as Cena sets up a ladder and begins to climb. CENA IS ABOUT TO GRAB THE BRIEFCASE… BUT AJ TIPS THE LADDER! FYI, I dig crazy chicks. AJ skips back up the ramp as Ziggler sets up the ladder and retrieves the briefcase.

Match Result: Dolph Ziggler retrieves the MitB briefcase to win the match after AJ tipped the ladder as Cena was about to win the match.
Match Length: 23:18

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Scott Slimmer