wrestling / TV Reports
Acero’s WWE Raw Report 09.06.21
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OH YEAH, THIS IS A WRESTLING SITE, ISN’T IT?
It’s Monday…you know what that means.
Keep Refreshing For The Latest Results
How the hell am I gonna follow up yesterday?!
I dunno, but we start with The New Day talking about a Tag Team Turmoil. Seven teams enter, one team survives, and they get a shot at the titles. They claim they are going to win it because New Day Rocks.
Viking Raiders talk about thriving on chaos. WE see Mustafa and Mansoor hyped for the match. Well, Mansoor is, Ali is a bit more calm. Lucha House Party is next, saying it’s Lucha Time. T-Bar and Mace talk about not being intimidated. Jinder and Veer chant the spell Charles Lee Ray does to enter the Chucky doll. AJ and Omos have their time in the sun, then Orton and Riddle make their way to the ring.
Orton says tonight, we will see which team will be next in line to be beten by the most destructive tag team in Sports Entertainment. Riddle says tonight will be sick, and we’ve got some cool teams tonight.
He is cut off by Lashley and MVP.
MVP tells Riddle to shut his dumb ass up in English and Spanish, saying we loose brain cells every second. Instead of worrying about the tag team turmoil, they need to worry about Lashley who will rip Orton’s head off for the RKO last week.
Lashley says Orton is a coward, talking about tag team turmoil as if Lashley forgot. Lashley wants to finish what Orton started. He wants a one-on-one with Orton.
Orton will accept on one condition – it’s for the title.
MVP wants a moment with his client.
He tells Orton hit his RKO outta nowhere last week, but when Lashley returns the favor, it’ll be in Orton’s face one on one at Extreme Rules.
Lashley says he is greedy, so they’ll talk to Pearce and Deville and get into the Tag Team Turmoil match, also.
The New Day’s music hits. Out come Woods and Kinston.
Kofi wanted to come out because he heard Lashley try to insert himself into this match, but he may wanna go talk to Sonya and Adam ASAP because they’re bout to kick off the tag team turmoil match right now, and you heard right – the odds are against them, but they’ve beaten the odds just like when he beat Lashley.
Match 1: Tag Team Turmoil
The New Day vs The Viking Raiders
Kofi is first to start with Ivar, who hits some knees in the corner. Kofi rushes, Ivar sits on the already caved in chest of Kofi. Tag to Erik. Ivar sends Woods off the apron, then Erik sends Ivar crashing into the corner. Cover from Erik for 1..2…NO!!! Erik drops Kofi with a right, th sends him inot the corner. Tag to Ivar, who cartwheels himself out of the way, but Kofi stomps. Tag to Woods, tag to Erik. Woods ducks an ae, hits a hurricanrana, ducks again, shoves Erik. Woods looks to whip, Erik overpowers and hits a toss over the head. Erik runs into. Tornado DDT. Tag to Kofi. Kick to Erik, Kofi with a spin kick. Cover for 1..2…NO!!!! Woods gets a tag, whip to Erik, he grabs Kofi and sends him to the outside, then flips Woods over and tries for a kee. Woods catches it, Erik blocks a right, shoves Woods, misses a right, Woods spins with an elbow, then clubs the bck, again, again, hits the ropes, Erik with a huge right forearm. Tag form Kofi, Woods hits Erik with a right of his own. Kofi t othe top rope, he dives and trust falls into the arms of the Raiders, but they catch him. Woods runs around the ring, so The Raiders toss Kofi into his partner.
We return to Kofi and Erik in the middle of the ring. Kofi hit a high clothesline, hits the ropes, Boom Drop. Kofi calls for the end, but Ivar is there to distract, and Erik tags in Ivar. Kofi hits the ropes, Ivar catches him, tosses him into the arms of Erik, then hits a springboard splash and a pin for 1..2..3!!!!! Tag to Erik, he hits a back breaker to Kofi, spins him and hits a gut buster, then lifts Kofi for a powerbomb! Kofi is able to leg scissors Erik out of the hold. Tag to Woods. Tag to Ivar. Erik chokeslams Woods. Ivar to the top rope. He dives with a splash, and hits it!!! Cover for 1..2….NO!!!!
Orton and Riddle are ringside, and are completely impressed. Hilarity.
Trouble in Paradise to Erik as Woods gets a rollup! 1…2….3!!!!
Viking Raiders eliminated at 10:01
Jinder Mahal and Veer are on their way out.
Kofi kicks Jinder off the apron real quick, then both guys attack on the outside. JInder in the ring. Woods to the top rope! He flies with a splash to Jinder. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Jinder drops Woods. He stomps the chest, hits the ropes, and drops a knee to the chest. A Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Tag to Veer, who hits the rings and presses Woods down hard. Woods rolls to the outside in front of the dude that looks like Michael Jackson mid-Thriller as we go to break.
WE ARE BACK and Veer drops a fist to the chest of Woods. Veer grabs the right hand, locks the head, tags in Jinder, and Jinder comes in with a right hand to the kidneys Jinder drops Woods with a body slam. Jinder with another body slam, but Woods drops down and crawls under, gets grabbed by Jinder, kicks him away, tag to Kofi, High kick to Jinder, top rope and he flies off with a fist. Knocks Veer off the apron, and misses a splash. Kofi kicks out of the corner ,tag to Woods, Kofi drops Jinder on the knee, and Woods to the top rope! He flies off with a stomp! Cover for 1..2….3!!!
Jinder Mahal and Veer eliminated at 17:20
Lucha House Party is out immediately. Double moonsaults from Lucha House Party! They get in the ring. Woods and Lince start it off. Leg lariat from Lince, then a tag to Metalik, who steps on the shoulders and flies off with a splash and a pin for 1..2….NO!!! Lince chops Woods, Woods chops back. Another. Lince with a chop, cover for 1…NO! Lince rushes the corner, gets flipped over to the apron, high kicks to Woods, top rope and a splash! It looks like they both crashed in the middle as Lince is hurting. Tag to Metalik, and we get a replay that shows Woods got his knees up. Nice. Metalik kicks out of the corner, Woods ducks under a splash, kick, tag to Kofi. Kofi to the top, and a SPLASH TO THE BACK!!!! Cover for 1..2….NO!!!!! 1…2…NO!!!! Woods and Kofi in, LInce springboards, hits a double stunner, roll up to Woods. 1..2..NO!!! Superkick to Woods. Tag to Metalik, splash, moonsault from Metalikk, tag to Lince, top rope, moonsault, doesn’t get it all, cover for 1..2…NO!!!!! Kofi in there to stop the pin. He sends Metalik to the apron, Metalik jumps over the exiting Kofi, Lince slides though and kicks Kofi, tag to Metalik, diuble superkick to Woods, they go for another double team, but Woods turns this into a rollup as Kofi holds the feet of Lince and we get a 1..2…3!!!
Lucha House Party is eliminated at 21:48
T-Bar and Mace are next.
WE come back and Mace is hurtin Woods with some chops. Whip to Woods, and Mace hits a huge knee in the corner. Mace covers for 1..2..NO!!!!! Woods kicks out. Enziguri from Woods. Mace lifts Woods into the corner, hits some rights, uppercut, Mace lifts Woods by the head, GOOZLE! Woods breaks the hold with some right hands, but hits a left to the face. Another GOOZLE! Woods attacks the head. Mace backs up. DROPKICK TO THE KNEE FROM THE 2ND ROPE! Tag to T-Bar, who hits a clothesline off the ropes and a cover for 1..2.NO!!! Chinlock from behind. Kick from Woods to the newly tagged in Mace. Mace backhands Kofi, lifts Woods, drops him, T-Bar gets a blind tag, Woods hits a kick to Mace. T-Bar heads over to Kofi on the outside and sends him into the barricade, then enters the ring as Mace gives Woods a leg lariat. T-Bar barks orders to Mace to go outside as he tries for his finisher, but there’s Woods to roll him up while Mace is distracted for 1…..2……3!!!!
Mace and T-Bar are eliminated at 30:13
Mace and T-Bar are pissed. T attacks Woods then they double team Kofi by hitting a running back suplex just as…
Ali and Mansoor head out. Ali tells Mansoor to wait, it’s not time to go in, but Mansoor rushes the ring and chops Mace, then runs into a right hand from T-Bar. They grab Mansoor, Ali begrudgingly runs into the ring, kicks Mace, then eats a huge kick from T-Bar Mace sends Mansoor off the apron. T-Bar tosses Ali to the outside. T-Bar and Mace leave the ring and grab Mansoor and Ali, tossing Mansoor into the steps.
Mace and T-Bar grab the ring steps and toss them into the ring. Kofi fights back, but T sends him into the corner. Mace has the steps, T-Bar grabs Kofi and lawn darts him into the side of the steps. Refs are here to stop them, but Mace and T-Bar grab Woods and chokeslam him INTO the ringpost! Nice.
We get a recap of Sonya saying she’s going to give some time for the new teams to get their shit together and the tag team turmoil will continue tonight. Four teams remain.
Winner: To Be Continued
I’m trying to be positive here, and highlight the fact that we got nearly forty minutes of wrestling (maybe like 30 without the breaks). We also got Retribution mattering for the first time EVER, causing destruction that had long-lasting effects, tied in previous stories, and allowed us to possibly clamor for more. Still, there is a bit of an underwhelming sense of predictability, with none of these teams really being possible contenders other than Kofi/Xavier or Lashley/MVP.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 37:05
We’re getting Drew and Sheamus up next.
Match 2: Drew McIntyre vs Sheamus
Lockup to start. Sheamus gets the upperhand with a side headlock. Sheamus gets Drew to the apron and tries for the ten beats, but Drew stops him at 4 and hits a few elbows, then turns Sheamus around and hits his own ten, stopping at 7, and Sheamus pulls Drew down onto the ropes. Sheamus to the top rope as Drew is outside. Sheamsu flies with aa clothesline to Drew. Drew with a spinebuster in the ring! Cover for 1..2..NO! Chop to Sheamus. Drew gets to his feet, heads to the corner, and climbs to the top rope. Sheamus with a right hand, another, another. Sheamus climbs, clubs the back, locks the head, pulls up on th trunks, and Drew is there to fight back with some kidney shots. Drew pulls up, Sheamus holds on, hits some right hands, Sheamus to the top rope. SUPERPLEX to Drew!
WE ARE BACK, and Drew is chopping the red head down. Sheamus clubs the back, they go at it back and forth into the corner with Drew whipping Sheamus, they hit the ropes, Drew hits a clothesline. Again. Whip. Belly to belly to Sheamus! Drew shoves Sheamsu to the corner, locks the hips, Drew cant pop em, Sheamus misses a right, clothesline to Sheamus! Kip up from Drew. Drew turns to the seated Sheamus, who kicks the knee out, and pulls himself up to the top rope. Drew heads over, locks up on the top rope and hits a belly to belly off the top rope! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Sunset Flip from Drew for 1..2.NO!!! Headbutt to the mask! Sheamus hits Drew with a headbutt of his own! Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Alabama Slam to Drew! Cover from Sheamus. 1..2…NO!!!! Sheamus in the corner. He starts the countdown, mocking Drew. Drew with a clothesline! Future Shock DDT! Cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Drew runs, Sheamus gets him to the shoulders, Drew drops down, sends Sheamsu to the corner, works the arm, rolls through, Drew locks the arm!!!! Sheamus gets to the ropes! Drew breaks the hold. Drew to the apron, he hangs Sheamus arm over the top rope, and pulls down. Drew to the top rope, he flies, rolls through, KNEE TO DREW! Cover for 1..2……NO!!!! Both men to their knees! They go rights back and forth! Over and over! Drew rips the mask off of Sheamus’s face!!!! He puts it on the buckle in the corner!
Drew goes for a Claymore, but Sheamus grabs the leg, rolls through, and gets the tights along with a rollup!!! 1…..2….3!!!!
Winner: Sheamus
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 14:47
Drew grabs the mask as Sheamus celebrates. He turns to Sheamus, Sheamus asks for his mask back, Drew smacks Sheamus across the face with it. Jesus…
Drew with a Claymore!
Priest backstage says he’s seen a lot of fights, and that was a fight. He loves going with these guys. He expects no less from Sheamus at Extreme Rules. Priest has Sheamus’s number, and his night will end the way it did tonight.
Backstage, Nikki and Rhea are standing by for the question of how much they have in common. Rhea says she only had one goal after debuting – to be champion, She believes they have that in common. Nikki makes a fly pun. It’s not clever. She says they are working on it and getting there. Rhea says whatever this is, if it works, and they beat Tamina and Natalya, then maybe they’ll have some gold.
Backstage, Charlotte is asked about Nia. Last week, she didn’t splatter her. She is still standing here, looking better, and even though she has a title match tonight, she will hold onto her title. Nia is not like most women, but she is one of a kind. She will bash Nia’s head with a crown and make her kiss the floor she walks on.
Match 3: Tamina and Natalya vs Rhea Ripley and Nikki A.S.H.
Tamina and Nikki to start. Tamina corners Nikki. Nikki tries to escape, but Tamina blocks her. Nikki finally escapes, tries for a monkey tos, but Tamina holds on and sits nikki on the corner .Headbutt to Nikki. Fireman’s. Elbows from Nikki, she rolls through, Tamina tries to sit on her, but Nikki kicks. Tamina sits, misses, Nikki hits a senton, dropkick to Tamina, tag to Rhea, she tosses Nikki into the arms of Tamina for…no reason? Wtf. Anyway, Rhea and Tamina go at it in the middle of the ring. Tamina gets the upperhand, tags in Natalya. Tag to Nikki. Rhea gets Nikki in a firemans, and swings her into Natalya. Tamina distracts, Nikki gets distracted, Nattie with a snapmare, dropick to the back of the head. On the outside, Tamina hits a superkick to Rhea.
We are back, and Rhea hits a huge headbutt to Natalya, then shoves Tamina off the apron. Tag to Nikki, who runs to the corner, top rope, Rhea holds onto Nattie, crossbody from Nikki. 1..2…NO!!! Tamina in to stop the pin. Rhea with a dropkick to Tamina. German from Nattie. Nikki attacks out of the corner, goes for a tornado DDT, but Nattie escapes and hits a discus lariat.
Tag from Rhea. Natalya gets the Sharpshooter, but Rhea runs in, Rip Tide to Natalya! Pin for 1..2…3!!!
Winner: Nikki A.S.H. and Rhea Ripley
Another mismatched team of people that “shouldn’t e together” yet overcome the odds and win.
Total Rating: *1/2
Match Time: 9:26
Moist TV is now backstage. Karrion Kross is the guest. He doesn’t look impressed at anything. Morrison wonders where his hourglass is. He wonders what makes Kross tick. Kross smiles, sas he’d like to say thanks for having ihm. It’s a real honor. He thinks he could be described as a person who wants to make people’s worst dreams a reality.
During this ENTIRE interview, Morrisons music is playing in the background for no reason.
Kross is asked what he plans on doing next, and Kross says he wants to make Morrison suffer. Morrison doesn’t get the threat. Mentions some titles or beating people. Kross says he thinks he’l do all of that…right after he eliminates Morrison permanently.
Morrison tells him to stop trying to be scary. Kross says he asked for answers, so he will get them right now and in the ring when he teaches him to fall and pray.
There was this small moment during all that where Morrison says he’s two decades ahead of Kross and still three decades ahead in terms of knowledge, where Morrison nearly dropped the act to put this new kid on record – this was a moment to turn this whole thing around, but it will instead lead to like a three minute squash.
Match 4: Karrion Kross vs John Morrison
Kross with a side headlock takedown immediately, then he mounts and drops some forearms to the fce. Saito suplex! Here comes the Kross Jacket, but Morrison gets to the ropes. Morrison grabs the dripstick, but Kross is there to toss Morrison over th top buckle, sending Morrison flying to the outside the hard way.
Kross with a Kross Jacket. Morrison is out.
Winner: Karrion Kross
I’m sure he’s redeemable. I’m sure there is something that will inevitably click, but tonight wasn’t it.
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: 1:59
Just as soon as the bell rings, Shayna hops on the apron, telling Charlotte that she doesn’t feel Nia can beat her two times in a row, and the question tonight is will Nia be the champion, or will she choke.
Match 5: WWE RAW Women’s Championship Match
Charlotte Flair vs Nia Jax
The girls go at it, beating at each other in the corner, but Nia hits her with some hard rights, and we’re “shootin” this week. Charlotte tells Nia to come at her, Nia says for what, Charlotte wonders if pulling hair is tough, go ahead nd pull it. Nia tries to swipe, and Charlotte rolls outside and tells her to “SUCK IT.” Charlotte walks over to Shayna, tells Nia to kiss her ass, and leaves to grab her title. She’s outta here. Shayna is there to stop her, Chrlotte tells her to get out of her face, and there’s nIa to pull Charlotte up by the hair. Charlotte hangs Nia up, gets into the ring, and Nia hits a clothesline. Nia locks up from behind, Charlotte hits a back elbow, another, Nia tries for a back suplex, Charlotte lands on her feet, clips the back of the knee. Nia sits Charlotte on the top rope, hits a right hand. Nia heads up with her, locks the head, tries for a superplex, but Charlotte drops to her knees and hits a powerbomb. Charlotte with a cocky pin but Nia shoves Charlotte off with. Kick. Charlote stomps, tries fo ra Figure Four, but Nia sends Charlotte into the bottom buckle, back of her head first.
WE are back, and Charlotte flies off the corner with a moonsault to the outside, barely hitting Nia. Shayna goes for a cheap shot, but Charlotte moves and Shayna almost hits Nia. They stare each other down for a bit then Nia gets back into the ring. Sunset Flip, but Nia lifts Charlotte by the head nd hits a headbutt. Splash in the corner. She sits Charlotte on the top rope.
Shayna on the apron to distract. NATURAL SELECTION OFF THE TOP ROPE! Cover for 1..2…3!!!
Winner: Charlotte Flair
Not a bad extension of the shitty match from last week, but neither woman was a good enough actress to pull it off effectively. Angry Charlotte was kinda fun, though.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 8:19
Alexa shows up on the big screen, and invites Charlotte to the playground. She asks Charlotte to bring a robe, cuz Lily is a fan.
Charlotte tells Alexa she isn’t interested in her mind games. Alexa says it’s too bad. Lily has a lot of pent up energy tonight. Alexa insults the Flair name and says if she wont come to them, then they will bring the playground to her.
Lights flicker, and the jack in the box music plays.
They come back on and Alexa is in the ring.
Charlotte tells Alexa that she obviously wants something – what is it.
Alexa points at the title. Crowd is kinda digging this.
Charlotte holds the title. This? A title match? She says fine, but this isn’t Alexa’s playground, it’s Charlotte’s.
Reggie is here. He’s defending against Akira tonight.
Match 6: WWE 24/7 Champinoship Match
Akira Tozawa vs Reggie
Regie dropkicks and backflips, thn kicks Akira, runs around Akira, hits the ropes and flips with a leg drop. He’s in the corner as Akira cowers.
Reggie front flips into a seated senton. Pin for 1..2…3!!!
Winner: Reggie
…
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: :35
Truth runs down to chase Reggie, then out comes Cedric for no reason. Carrillo is next, Reggie dispatches them, then flies over the top rope onto Gulak and a couple others that don’t matter. He walks up the ramp, turns around, and
It’s Drake Maverick. Truth asks him what is he doin here, dawg? This is his show, his time, and his baby. Drake needs to go back home with his wife. Good seeing him, but his timing is bad. Lol.
Piper gets a promo backstage, calling Eva a wench. It’s a solid promo. She says she wants a rematch with Eva, and she’s going to brutalize her next week. It’ll be unforgivable.
Match 1-2: Tag Team Turmoil
Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods vs AJ Styles and Omos vs Bobby Lashley and MVP vs Mustafa Ali and Mansoor
Mansoor and Kofi to start. Kofi makes a tumble early, to the outside. Ali held the ropes, causing him to head outside. He sends Kofi back in and covers but only gets a 1. Ali with a cravat from behind. Ali attacks the back, whips Kofi, goes for an SOS, and hits it! Tag to Woods. He sends Ali to the 2nd rope, draping over. Woods with a dropkick to the back of the nck! Ali shoves Woods into the corner. Tag to Mansoor, who comes in and sits Woods on his shoulders. Ali to the top rope, Punches from Woods, he falls to the floor and shoves Mansoor into the dick of Ali. Here comes Kofi to lock the head of Ali and we get a Superplex! Rollup from Woods! 1….2…NO!!! Chop to Mansoor. Woods firemans, but his back hurts. Mansoor with a rollup! 1..2…NO!!!! Woods favors the back. Mansoor tries to attack but the ref holds him back to check on Woods. Ali tells Mansoor to GET ON HIM! Mansoor says he is hurt. Ali tags himself in and kicks the back of Woods. Another kick. Tag from Kofi. Kofi flies with acrossbody. Kofi knees Mansoor off the apron. Kofi rushes, goes for Trouble in Paradise, but Ali hits a Superkick! Ali to the top rope! 450 but Ali rolls through as Kofi moves. Tag from Woods. Trouble in Paradise! Woods on the top rope! He walks the ropes, flies with an elbow drop!
Mansoor and Mustafa Ali eliminated at 4:12
AJ Styles and Omos are out next.
We are bak and AJ has Wood with his arms being pulled from behind. Woods turns into the hold, reaches for a tag, AJ stops it, whips, go behind from Woods, shoves AJ, dives for a tag, but AJ crossbodies Woods! Nice. AJ sends Woods to the corner .He tags in Omos. Woods scurries, but Omos grabs him quick, and clubs the back. Omos steps on the back of Woods, then tosses him into the corner again. Omos shit talks to Kofi. Omos grabs Woods, shoves him into the corner hard, then tags in AJ. AJ covers for 1..2..NO!!! Another cover for 1..2.NO!! Kicks to the leg of Woods! AJ lifts Woods by the leg, Woods hits a right, spins for another right. AJ tumbles to the outside. Woods reaches for a tag. He’s so close. AJ back in, tries to attack Kofi, Kofi hops off. Rollup! 1…2..NO!!!! Clothesline from Woods. Tag to Omos. Tag to Kofi. Kofi springboards, and Omos swats his ass right back down. Kofi rolls to the outside.
Back from a break, and Kofi has AJ hurting in the corner. Kofi gets sent out as AJ hits the corner, moonsaults, Kofi catches, counters him away, Trouble in Paradise!!! Kofi covers!!!! 1….2……..OMOS in to stop the pin! Woods enters, and GOOZLE to Woods! Omos sneds Woods to the outside.
Kofi attacks, Omos no sells, Kofi attacks the mid, Omos sends him to the corner, gives Kofi’s body to AJ and he hits the Styles Clash! 1…2….3!!!!
The New Day are Eliminated at 21:20
Bobby Lashley and MVP are the final entries.
MVP starts with AJ, but he tags in bobby right away, instead. Bobby attacks AJ in the corner with elbows, then shoves his face all the way down to the ropes. AJ ducks under a clothesline. Pele kick to Lashley! H backs in to tag Omos, and in comes the big man. Lashley is down, though. Omos wants a test of strength, and although I do see some crowd activity, there is a hell of a lot of cheers without animation. Test of Strength gives Bobby a chant. Lashley kicks OMos and corners Omos, hitting shoulders in th corner. Omos attacks the back. Lashley locks the head. He screams! Goes for a suplex!!! OMOS LIFTS LASHLEY INSTEAD!!!! Front suplex to Lashley! BIG KICK sends Lashley to the outside. He gets face to face with Orton. AJ has had enough. He runs off the commentary table with a crossbody to Lashley and Orton! Sick.
OMos grabs Riddle and shoves him into the barricade back first. MVP is here to attack AJ and hits a kick to the back of the head of MVP.
AJ goes for the Phenomenal Forearm, but Lashley ducks it, hits the ropes. SPEAR! Cover for 1…2…3!!!
Winners: MVP and Bobby Lashley
What’s most unfortunate is that the last-minute addition to the show won, but it kinda was telegraphed in the opening. Kudos to Kofi and Woods who are, seemingly, the go-to guys for long matches (them and Seth Rollins) when the WWE feels the need to have a bunch of wrestling on their show.
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 27:50
OMos is in the ring! He grabs Lashley by his ol Milk Dud and hits the Tree Slam ala Khali to Lashley!
RKO OUTTA NOWHERE!!!!
Lol.
End Show
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