wrestling / TV Reports
Acero’s WWE Raw Review 11.16.20
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Yo, Who got that new COD?!?!?
We’re back to the Thunderdome, where RAW tries to find its final representative for the RAW team at Survivor Series. Tonight, Drew faces Orton, and The Hurt Business gets a shot at the tag team titles.
Drew’s sword is unsheathed, and out comes the ol Scottish Sycophant, or whatever Cole use to call him.
Drew welcomes us to Monday Night RAW. He brings up this Sunday, and calls it a Thanksgiving tradition. Since he’s been here for a while, he loves Thanksgiving; particularly the time where you express what you’re thankful for. He is thankful for family and friends, his fans, and the WWE Thunderdome. He is also thankful for the doubters. He tells us to believe in ourselves, work hard, prove them wrong, then flip them off.
Drew brings up Roman, saying he was just trying to do him a favor, but Reigns didn’t care. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself. He brings up Randy, and there he is on the screen!
Randy says he hears drew, talking about what he’s thankful for. He wants to play. He says he’s thankful for the WWE World Champion. He is also thankful that the fine handed to him for putting his hands on Adam Pearce did’t phase him. Why? Because for 20 years, he has been getting fined. He’s been home, suspended, sitting on his couch for longer than 80% of the WWE locker room has spent in that ring, and he’s still here. Why? Because he is the greatest wrestler ever. He will prove it tonight, after beating Drew.
Drew tells Orton he forgot about the three most dangerous letters. They’ve been doing this for so long, they’re finishing each other’s sentences. It’s time to end. This time, tonight, his foot will come crashing through Orton’s head, and he will be champion.
The Miz takes umbrage to this, and I realize this is the first time I’ve used umbrage in a sentence. Only slightly less interesting than that tidbit, Miz and Morrison shill Miz’s TV show, then bring up the briefcase. Yes, in that order. Miz says nothing is stopping them from cashing in a few favors to sit in the front row.
Drew reminds them what he’s done the past few weeks. Miz says he understands change is hard to deal with, and Orton must have a hard time talking about his feelings, but he is clearly frustrated. In the WWE, the possibilities of change are endless. Take tonight; the title can change hands. By the end of the night, The Miz is the champion. Miz asks Morrison why The Fiend hid last week, and John says he is afraid of them. Even Bray can figure out that regardless of what he or Drew did, Miz can still come out champion. The only person that does not understand this is Drew. Change is coming.
Drew says yes, but the difference between Randy and Drew is that Orton is a patient man. Drew is not. Miz tells him this is what cost him the title. They back up out of the ring. Miz is just trying to say that Drew gave title match after title match; he even gave Orton three! Maybe Miz doesn’t deserve a title match, but tonight, whether Drew wins or loses, Miz will be laughing all the way to the bank.
CHANGE GEARS to Lana getting dropped into a table. We get a recap of all eight times before learning that there will be. Six woman tag team match later, where Lana TEAMS with Nia and Shayna.
Backstage, Lana is stretching. We find out the match coming up was Lana’s idea. Nia and Shayna come up and Lana says they never take her seriously, but she saw Miz and Morrison team with Randy, and thought this was a good idea. She is trying to prove that she belongs. Unlike Orton, she won’t refuse to tag in. She is all here for Team Raw. Shayna laughs her off, says this match isn’t all about Lana; it’s about them proving that they run the entire division. Nia says Lana may be “all here” for Team Raw, but she is not allowed to tag herself in.
Match 1: Nia Jax, Shayna Baszler, and Lana vs Dana Brooke, Mandy Rose, and Asuka
Lana starts as the legal person, but Shayna tags herself in and gives Dana a backbreaker. She then clocks Asuka off the apron, an swipes at Mandy. Shayna sends Dana to the outside, fakes a tag to Lana. Tags in Nia, and Nia drops to the outside. Fireman’s to Dana, but Mandy rushes her. Nia drops Dana and hits Mandy, then puts her arm on the steps. Shayna runs over and steps on the back of the elbow.
We return to RAW with Shayna trying to prevent Dana tagging in Asuka. She fails, and in comes the champ with some kicks. Hip Attack to Nia, A shoulder tackle to Shayna. Hip attack in the corner, kick to Shayna. Waist lock, a missed kick, Shayna misses a kick, knees to the face, running kick. Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Nia in to stop the pin. Dana hops on the back of Nia, Nia drops her onto the apron, hard. Nia leaves the ring, Shayna with a gutrwrench, Asuka escapes, high kick. She goes for an Asuka Lock, but Nia on the apron. Asuka gives her a right, and Shayna locks in The Clutch. Lana with a blind tag. Baszler keeps the hold on Asuka. Lana enters the ring as Shayna leaves, asking “What are you doing?” Lana covers for 1..2..NO!!!
Nia on the apron. She tells Lana to get out. Asuka with a kick to the arm. Asuka Lock. Lana taps.
Winners: Dana Brooke, Mandy Rose, and Asuka
Hardly any wrestling here, as the commercial break ate up a bunch of the match, and what was shown lacked any actual “wrestling” outside of Asuka doin her thing. Speaking of Asuka, there’s really no reason for her to be interested or even want to do this match, and considering we’ve seen Lana go through nine tables, this means we’ve suffered at least nine weeks of this garbage, and no one feels sorry for Lana.
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 6:58
Nia goes to clear the table. Dana and Asuka celebrate in the ring, Mandy has been taken to the back. They leave the ring, and Lana, in the middle of the ring. Shayna sends Lana to the outside. Nia hovers over her, says she is proud of Lana, welcome to Team RAW. Lana is smiling as Nia leaves. Nia says, “sike,” then grabs Lana and drops her through the table. Nia says, “sike” again, just in case you didn’t hear it the first time.
Team RAW is backstage yelling over each other. AJ comes in to tell him that he takes responsibility as the captain. Riddle says that’s right, he is the Skipper. Lee likes his nickname. AJ says they need to stop fighting, or they are going to lose. He knows that they all hate to lose. They need to come together, and the best way is to have a tune up match against someone and something no one likes. AJ hands out shirts for RAW, says he’ll make this a team.
Riddle comes back, says he has a sweet nickname for AJ’s tall friend. Riddle is baked. AJ didn’t know his bodyguard speaks English, and now he has so many questions.
Over at The Firefly Funhouse, Ramblin Rabbit drops a Miz Funko Pop to the floor.
BACKSTAGE, Charley asks Dana how Mandy is. Dana says she is unsure, you saw what Nia did. She is attacked from behind. It’s Mia Yim. She kicks Dana’s tits in before refs come to stop the attack.
TIME FOR FIREFLY FUNHOUSE!!!
Bray says Miz is not so nice. Lovely Alexa is nearby. Bray says the Hollywood type are all the same, doing things for their reptilian overlord. He offers Miz a match tonight, but if he’s gotta repeat himself, Miz does not want to see his bad side.
Now, he knows it’s short notice, but he’s got friends here to prepare him for tonight’s match.
We take a beat, then return to Bray wearing a headband around his eyes, but still able to single handedly take down his puppet friends.
He also partakes in a Spelling Bee, where he spells the word JACKASS as MIZ.
Bray throws a dart at Rambling Rabbit in an attempt to hit an apple. Bray shouts Bullseye, but Alexa quips that this is more like Rabbit’s Heart.
WE RETURN to MVP making an official announcement; there is no one better than The Hurt Business. Lashley will squeeze the life out of Sami Zayn.
Shelton say that he and Cedric will take out The New Day and be tag team champions, then Survivor Series where they take on The Street Profits, and we know how that will end. MVP says they will take the titles, add them to the US title, and then collectively control most of the gold on RAW. At that point, they can give credit for putting SD out of business.
Out come Kofi and Woods, who tells them to take the bass out of their voices. Kofi tells MVP that all of them come out and lie. It wasn’t true but for one thing; when it will be The Best v The Best. Everything else was a lie. The Best v The Best doesn’t mean Shelton and Cedric; it means The New Day. Do they ever listen to themselves? They come out and tell all these lies. They sound like jerks.
MVP: “Do something about it.”
Nice.
Kofi says he has a punchline. They call themselves The Hurt Business, but should call themselves The Jerk Business.
Match 3: WWE RAW Tag Team Championship Match
Kofi and Cedric to start. Cedric shoots the legs and locks the head. They gator roll into the center of the ring. Cedric tries to underhook and we get a side headlock from Cedric. Shoulder tackle from Cedric, cover for 1..2.NO!!! Kofi leaps over then hits a spinning uppercut. Cover for 1. Tag to Woods. Arm drag from Kofi, hits the ropes, kicks Cedric, clothesline from Woods, splash from Kofi. Fist to the forehead from Woods. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Chop from Woods. Cedric with a throat thrust, and a tag to Shelton, who comes in and hits a shoulder tackle. Shelton grabs Woods, sends him to the ropes, Woods stands, spins with a forearm. Right to the head, chop to the corner. Woods to the 2nd rope, punches for a few, Shelton shoves him off. Dropkick from Woods. Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Woods with a right hand, Shelton comes off with a clothesline. Body slam to Woods. Shelton with another. Whip to the ropes, Spinebuster from Shelton! Cover for 1..2..NO!!!
Tag to Cedric, and he attacks the back of Woods with elbows. Cedric shoves Woods then hits a dropkick and a pin for 1..2..NO!!! Tag to Shelton who comes in for a chinlock, Woods turns into it, reaches for a tag, right hand to Shelton. Shelton pulls him in, sunset flip to Shelton, cover for 1..2..NO!!! Shelton lifts him, Woods falls to his feet, enziguri to the back of the head. Tag to Kofi. Springboard right hand, right to Cedric. Chop to Shelton, another, dropkick to Shelton, goes for a leg lariat, Shelton sends him into the corner, kick to Shelton, top rope, right hand from Kofi. Frogsplash cover for 1..2..NO!!! Shelton whips, Kofi with a right hand to the head. Kofi in the corner. He hits the ropes. Boom Dr—-NO!! Shelton catches Kofi and buckle bombs him into the corner. Tag to Cedric. Shelton sets him up on the shoulder,s and Cedric flies off the top with a clothesline! Pin for 1..2…NO!!
We return from a break, and Shelton has a chinlock on Kofi in the middle of the ring. Kofi turns into the hold, so Shelton stands. Kofi with a jawbreaker to release the hold. Kofi to the top, Shelton hops up, gets knocked down, Kofi flies with a tornado DDT. Tag to Cedric. Tag to Woods. Woods ducks a hit, locks Shelton, leg lariat to Cedric, Shelton in, sends Woods to the corner, ick out of the cornor, Honor Roll. Cedric is sent outside. Drop toe hold to Shelton. Woods hits the ropes, slides over the back of Shelton into Cedric on the outside. He pulls Shelton outside then sends Cedric back inside. Dropkick from the top. Cover for 1..2…NO!!!! MVP yells for them to dig deep. Fireman’s to Cedric, Cedric off, goes for the Lumbar Check, Woods backs up. Tag to Kofi. Kofi in with a shoulder, to the top rope. Missile dropkick. Cover for 1..2..N!O!! Shelton in to stop the pin. Woods gets sent to the apron, high knee from Shelton. Shelton turns, Kofi rushes him and gets sent over the top rope. Cedric hits the ropes, Suicide di—-looks like he missed damn near all of it, so he goes for a second one, then a third where he clotheslines Woods in the back of the neck. Tag from Shelton. HUGE clothesline to Kofi on the outside. Shelton sends Kofi into the ring. Drags him to the center. Shleton with an ANGLE SLAM! Pin for 1…2…NO!!! Tag to Cedric. Cedric grabs Kofi, inverted atomic drop, kick from Shelton, lift up, Brainbuster to Kofi! 1…2…NO!!! Woods stops the pin! Cedric grabs Kofi, goes for the Lumbar Check, Kofi lands on his feet. Kick to the chin. Shelton in, gets dropped to the outside.
Kick to Cedric, Trouble in Paradise to Shelton. Tag to Woods. DAYBREAK! Cover for 1…2…3!!!
Winners: The New Day
A pleasant surprise here, as everything after the commercial break was beautiful. Unfortunately, this match also falls into the trap that the WWE TV matches often find themselves in, where nothing before the commercial break matters in the slightest.
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 16:45
Sheamus calls Drew over backstage to talk about moms. Sheamus says there is something that belongs to Drew based on his lineage. Sheamus unveils a wooden chest. Drew opens it. Inside is some Scottish garb. Drew is near tears, turns, and Sheamus hands over a sword that looks more like a huge butter knife than an actual sword.
ALI gets some promo time, saying all it takes is one right move, and even a pawn can own a king. Mia says Retribution is always one step ahead. Ali says Team RAW is everything Retribution despises. They are all the same; spineless cowards, waiting for the right moment to stab each other in the back. All they have to do is stand back and watch them fall. They don’t need to shut down Team RAW, because they will do it themselves. His hope is that the so called captain is ready to go down with the ship.
AJ is on commentary, says Ali doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
Match 4: Mongoose, Bro Lee, Dopey, and Fireface vs Retribution
Dopey and Slapjack to start. Lockup from behind, Jack is able to esape, but only momentarily, as Dopey takes him down with a lockup from behind. Jack gets the ropes. Break. Dopey with a sleeper. Jack snapmares him off. Gutwrench takedown from Dopey. Another lift and a toss. Tag to T-Bar, who gets kicked in the head. Dopey is up, hits a right hand in the corner, another, elbows to Dopey! T-Bar kicks the side of the head of Bro Lee. Suplex to T-Bar, then a Broton! Cover for 1….NO!!! Dopey works the left arm. He reaches for a tag to Mongoose, but Fireface slaps his hand out of the way! Mongoose drops down, and Fireface and he get in a shoving match. AJ leaves commentary to help keep the peace, telling them they need to work as a team. Mongoose shoves Skipper into his bodyguard! The guard stares Mongoose down with a death stare!
WE RETURN to Dopey getting dropped by T-Bar. Cover from T-Bar and he gets a 2 before Dopey kicks out. Tag to Mace. He tags in Slapjack, and we get two kicks from the big guy then a cannonball from Jack to Dopey in the corner. Cover for 1..2.NO!! Sheamus stops the pin. Tag to Ali. He asks Skipper if he’s watching as he kicks Dopey. CHOP TO THE CHEST OF ALI!!! Ali with a swinging neck breaker. Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Tag to T-Bar, who stomps the chest of Dopey in. Tag to Mace. He grabs Dopey from behind, shoves him to the ropes, double big boot!!! Cover for 1..2…..NO!! Tag to Jack, who comes in to stomp the chest again. Jack pulls in for a kick, hooks the leg, but Dopey with a surprise suplex!!!
Tag to Bro Lee!!! Ali stops his attack, rolls outside, in comes Mace, Lee hits the ropes, shoulder tackle to Mace, one for T-Bar, splash in the corner to each man. Jack gets one, too. Toss from Lee INTO Mace and T-Bar!! HUGE PUNCE to Jack! He grabs Jack onto his shoulders then swings Jack into Mace and T-Bar. Lee sends both big guys outside, they pull his legs out and him to the outside. GOOZLE! GOOZLE FROM LEE!!! Ali with a suicide dive to Lee! He eats the announce table. The big guys roll Lee back into the ring, cover from Ali. 1…2..NO!!! Lee sends him flying!!! Mongoose with a huge tackle on the outside!!! BROGUE KICK FROM FIREFACE!!! Lee drops Ali. Tag from Fireface. He calls for the Brogue. Mongoose tags himself in before the Brogue. He goes for a powerslam, Fireface pulls Ali off the shoulders of Mongoose. Mongoose sends Fireface to the outside!
Dopey with a tag, Mongoose shoves him on his ass, Lee on the apron, Ali sends Dopey into Mongoose, who runs into Lee, and rolls Dopey up! 1…2…3!!!
Winners: Retribution
Ah, yes, that dastardly group that promised destruction and combustion from inside the WWE is so good, they allow Team RAW to do all the damage. Weak story aside, there were a few cool double-team moments from Retribution, which shows how hard they are trying.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 11:53
Team Raw argues.
Nikki is backstage, looking for bliss. Aren’t we all, man…
Here comes Sarah with the deep questions. Nikki says friends never give up on each other. The Fiend has gotten into Alexa’s head, and no matter what, she’s gotta get Alexa away from The Fiend. No matter what.
Sarah, ever the journalists, tries to get the inside scoop on Jeff Hardy’s anger. Jeff cuts a promo so full of metaphor, it’s a wonder I could even wrap my head around his intense hatred for Elias.
BACK FROM THE BREAK, and Jeff rushes into Elias’ locker room to ask what’s up with the fliers. Jeff says he didn’t hit him with the car, just a guitar. Elias wants Jeff to admit it; that he is the only one who knows what happened, because he did it.
Jeff corners Elias, looking to choke him, saying he’s been proven innocent, but he will be found guilty of a lot worse. Can he get an Amen.
MIZ AND MORRISON are out. Ugh, they get more mic time. Miz reminds Bray of him tormenting Miz’s daughter. The point is, Miz says there is a peaceful solution; Drew and Orton have a match tonight. Bray wants Orton, he wants to cash in, they can work together to make their dreams come true.
Alexa Bliss comes out, instead, with a remix to her music. Bliss tells Miz that He says “No.”
Nikki has found Alexa!
She runs out to the stage, says Fiend is BAD NEWS. She’s gotta leave. Please. She’s Lex’s best friend. Come on. Alexa says, “Oh my god, you’re right.” Then slaps the accent outta Nikki. Nikki, the one who would never give up on Alexa, mounts Alexa and starts beatin that ass.
Bray’s music hits, and he comes out to death stare Nikki, then lock arms with Alexa and walk down the ramp for his upcoming match.
Match 5: Bray Wyatt vs The Miz
Bray offers his hand to shake, and says he’ll forgive him. Miz kicks it away and gives Bray a right hand. Bray laughs it off, chop from Miz. Whip to the ropes, Bray trucks him down with a hard shoulder tackle. Miz kicks Bray away, attacks from behind with some crossfaces. Ref holds him back. Morrison with a cheap shot. Bray stares at him with evil. Bliss gives him a jump scare. Uppercut from Wyatt. He chokes Miz up then drops some forearms until Miz rolls to the outside. Bray follows, sends Miz into the steel steps. Bray chokes Miz up, sends him into the ring, tells Miz not to talk to Alexa. Bray enters the ring at 7. Boot from Miz. Bray takes it in stride. He grabs Miz by the hair and pulls him up on the apron. Miz hangs Bray up. Miz to the top rope. Dives with an axe handle. DDT to Bray! Cover for 1….NO!!! Right hands from Miz. Miz with some IT kicks. Miz rushes fo ra kick, Bray rolls through, Sister Abigail attempt, Miz escapes, hits the ropes, CLOTHESLINE FROM BRAY! Splash in the corner, then a huge tackle in the middle of the ring. Uranage from Bray. He breaks Miz’s neck. But it’s wrestling, so Miz survives. Bray tries to hang in the corner, but Morrison pulls at his leg. Alexa runs up the steps and dives onto Morrison, taking him into the barricade!! She looks like she could have hurt herself there.
Miz with a clothesline in the corner, but Bray no sells it, catches the head. Sister Abigail. 1…2..3!!!
Winner: Bray Wyatt
I really enjoyed The Miz somewhat telegraphing a bulk of Bray’s offense, but the story is null when you realize that Bray is untouchable, and also survived a mallet The Animaniacs wouldn’t.
Total Rating: *1/2
Match Time: 4:50
Alexa creepily pops her head up from behind the barricade. I knew it was coming, and I still popped.
Alexa walks the barricade then hops into the hand of Bray Wyatt.
BACKSTAGE, Charley asks Adam what’s going on. Pearce says that neither Brooke nor Rose can compete on Sunday. He is replacing them with Lacey Evans and Peyton Royce.
Asuka is here for some promo time. She is so excited. She will beat Sasha.
Angel Garza cuts a promo about roses and being thorny. Or something.
Nia is trying to tell Shayna she could have gone softer on Mandy. Shayna says they don’t need anyone on their team; the only ones that matter is them two.
Lacey comes in, saying they won’t be pushed around. Peyton say they’re excited, and wants to know if they’d like to strategize. Peyton says they’ll come back.
Drew makes his entrance in the gear that Sheamus gave him. Cute.
Match 5: WWE RAW Heavyweight Champion
Drew McIntyre vs Randy Orton
Lockup, some dancing, and a side headlock from Orton. Drew gets his own. To the ropes. Orton shoots off, Drew with a shoulder tackle, sending Orton down to the mat. Orton stands, Drew fights him out of the corner with right hands. Headbutt to the..well, the head, duh. Stomp from Drew to orton’s hand. Right hand to orton. Orton hits one of his own. Another headbutt to Orton. Drew hits the ropes, Orton follows, Drew turns. SPINEBUSTER! Pin for 1..2..NO!!! Orton grabs his title and tries to leave. Drew follows and clotheslines him from behind. Drew sends him into the barricade, then into the ring. Drew up, waits for Orton to stand, Orton is up, turns, CLAY—NO!!! Orton drops down and rolls out of the ring, then back up the ramp where his title is!
Pearce comes out to inform Orton there will be no dq and no countouts so get that ass back to the ring.
WE RETURN to Orton hitting a backbreaker to Drew. Orton has a chair. It’s legal. He hits Drew in the gut with it, then smacks him a good one across the back. Orton with a shot to the ribs. He goes for the jaw, pushing the chair’s edge into Drew’s face. Orton lets go, standing above Drew, and smacks him across the back again. They’re both outside now, and Orton grabs the steps. He hits Drew with them, and Drew goes down. Orton rolls him inside. Orton stomps Drew, then drops an elbow, and covers for 1..2..NO!!! Orton sends Drew to the outside. Thumb to the eye of Drew! Orton readies the announce table. Uppercut from Orton. Orton with a back suplex, dropping Drew onto the announce table. It doesn’t break. Orton atop of Drew. He hits a bunch of right hands. Orton tells Drew the title will never be his again. Orton lifts Drew and drops him on the table again. Orton grabs the top of the table and tosses it aside then grabs Drew and tries for a third suplex. But Drew escapes. Right hand to Orton. Another. Another. Another. Drew with a back suplex to Orton, and the table still doesn’t break! Drew drops Orton again. Drew backs away towards the steps. He runs. Looks for the Claymore, but Orton moves and Drew eats table!
DREW takes advantage while we see a commercial.
He rolls Orton in, Orton attacks the incoming Drew, covers for 1..2..NO!!!! Drew is up. Overhead belly to belly! Again! Neckbreaker from Drew. Drew waits. Orton struggles to stand. Drew to the top rope! Orton with a right hand! Orton SUPERPLEX TO DREW! Cover for 1..2…NO!!! FUTURE SHOCK DDT! Cover for 1..2…NO!!!! Drew grabs Orton by the head, sets up on the shoulders, orton elbows out, lands on the apron, Drew turns, hangs Orton up, Drew with a right hand. He shoves Orton, and there’s a damned table set up outside! When the fuck did that happen? Lol.
Drew grabs Orton from the table, sends Orton into the ring. Cover for 1..2….NO!!!! Drew in the corner. He calls for a Claymore. POWERSLAM FROM ORTON!!! Both men to the outside. Orton with a DDT off the announce desk. Orton rolls into the ring. His back is leaking blood.
Orton grabs Drew and pulls him up on the apron, drapes him over the rope and hits another DDT. Orton goes for an RKO, Drew hits the ropes. CLAYMORE! Cover for 1..2…..3!!!!!!
Winner: Drew McIntyre
Not quite sure of the reason for shooting the title over to orton to begin with; but looks like they see more money in Drew v Roman. Not that I disagree, just an odd way to get there.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 24:11
End Show
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