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Acero’s WWE RAW Review 7.19.21
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It’s Monday…you know what that means.
John Cena is here to start the show. He’s got his Denzel voice on for a bit, saying we are all loud, and all here. He says we all know what he’s talking about. We are not just loud, we are deafening loud. Tonight is RAW. He says tonight is a team effort. He knows what we are thinking; yes he is here to explain himself.
Yes, he showed up and ruined the championship celebration of Roman Reigns. Reigns was angry, Heyman was confused, Cole was very excited, McAfee still couldn’t see him, but there were a lot of questions, so let’s get them all out there.
Who brought him back? It was us. Finally, we can come back and cheer and boo and connect. Who else? Roman Reigns.
What is he here for? The WWE Universal Championship.
When? About 5 weeks from now. Summerslam.
Where? Allegiant Stadium. Las Vegas.
Why? Here’s where it gets interesting. He can tell us about the pageantry of Summerslam, about being in the main event of a packed stadium. A history making, record-breaking championship win, but it’s not because of any of that – it’s because Roman Reigns is an asshole. He needs to be knocked down a peg. Reigns is an arrogant, self-absorbed, over-hyped, over-protected, over-exposed gimmick who is not as over as he says he is, and that’s coming from John Cena. There’s a saying; if you’re good, you’ll tell everyone, you’ll demand that they acknowledge you. He asks the crowd for some noise, and they oblige.
But if you’re great; they tell you. And Cena is telling him now, he’ll be at Smackdown on Friday, and he cant wait to see Reigns. So let’s get down to business.
MATT RIDDLE is here!
Cena stops Riddle, says he finally gets it, says bro. They exchange bros.
That’s….that.
Match 1: Matt Riddle and The Viking Raiders vs John Morrison, AJ Styles, and Omos
AJ and Riddle to start. AJ with a shoulder tackle. He flies over Riddle, and gets kicked in the chest. Riddle with a back body drop. AJ tags in Morrison. Morrison hops in and removes his shirt as Miz chants for him. Morrison picks the leg, Riddle stays standing, flips out of it and works in a shoulder lock into a face lock. Riddle turns int a mount, but Riddle tries to roll him up, Riddle tries for a kick, misses, stalemate. Morrison goes for a right, but Riddle blocks, swings, misses, flips over Morrison, locks him up and hits a suplex. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Tag to Ivar. He’s in to tag Erik then double team with a toss into a knee. Erik corners Morrison, tag to ivar. Body slam and Erik body slams Ivar onto Morrison. Cover for 1.2…NO!!! Outside of the ring, The Viking Raiders smash Morrison. Riddle runs up to kick him, then Omos tosses Aj over the top rope onto everyone.
We are back, and AJ locks the head of Riddle, preventing a tag.
Screen blacks out. I come back to Erik flipping AJ then giving him a huge knee. AJ with a pele kick drops Erik as well. Tag to Ivar. Tag to Morrison. He flips over the big man, misses a kick because of a cartwheel, clothesline from Ivar. He rushes the corner, Bronco Buster to Morrison! Ivar heads to the top rope. He hits a moonsault, but Morrison rolls out of the wy!!! Knee from Morrison, Starship P—NO! Ivar rolls out of the way! On the outside Miz has the drip stick and Omos sees this.
Omos heads over to Miz, slowly stalking Miz. Morrison comes to help Miz, so Omos tosses Morrison back into the ring with ease. VIKING EXPERIENCE! Cover for 1.2….3!!!!
Winners: Matt Riddle and The Viking Raiders
Fun enough match, with AJ continuing to prove that the dude is Teflon.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 12:07
Backstage, we look into the eyes of Stifler.
WE RETURN to Elias in the middle of the ring with his GEE-TAR.
He has some crowd participation, says we still remember.
He is interrupted by Ryker, with something in his throat. He thinks people are sick and tired of Elias introducing himself over and over again. After tonight, we’ll never hear the words “Hello, I am Elias,” again.
Here comes Ryker.
Match 2: Symphony of Destruction Match
Jaxson Ryker vs Elias
Right hands from Ryker, then a chop. He tosses Elais into the corner then hits a right. Whip to the ropes, Ryker bends over and gts kicked. Elias sends Ryker to the outside. Ryker grabs an electric keyboard and smacks Elais in the back with it. He then grabs a cymbal, but Elias kicks Ryker, then attacks the back. He stabs Elias with the cymbal stand then smacks Ryker across the back with it. Elias tosses this into the ring. Wait, it’s two cymbals, so that’s a hi-hat, right? Anyway Elias hits a knee on the outside. Covers for 1..2.NO!!! Another keyboard smack to the back. Elias rushes Ryker, but Ryker tosses him into a gong. Ryker grabs a guitar, kicks Elias, then smacks him on the back with the guitar.
WE return to Elias dropping Ryker with an elbow. Chop to Ryker. A right from Ryker. One from Elias. They trade hits. Elias sends Ryker to the outside. Elias heads out of the ring. There’s a piano set up at the edge of the ramp. Elias tries to send Ryker into the post, but Ryker reveres and sends Elias into it. Ryker grabs another guitar. He attacks the midsection. Elias sends Ryker into the top of the paino. Elias sets him up against the opened top of the piano. Elias rushes Ryker, but Ryker tosses Elias onto the piano! Ryker covers for 1..2.NO!!! They stand on top of the piano together, fighting back and forth. Ryker has Elias on his shoulders, Elias slips off, Ryker shoves him off the piano. Elias trips Ryker. He covers for 1..2..NO!!! Elias tosses Ryker into the steps. Elias kicks Ryker once then heads over to the cello. He heads over to Elias and smacks him across the back with it. Elias goes for it again, and it breaks over the back. Of Ryker. Elias covers for 1..2…NO!!! Elias gets in Ryker’s face, talks some shit, then hits a bunch of hard rights to the head. Elias sends Ryker into the ring then heads to the top rope. Ryker stops hi with some rights. Elias smacks him away and continues the climb. Elias is bleeding from the forehead. Ryker with a right hand. He pulls the hair of Elias, and ringside, there are two tables setup with some covering. Elias on the apron. Ryker, too.
Ryker grabs Elias,sets up for the supeplex, HITS IT ON THE TABLES OUTSIDE!!! Cover for 1..2….3!!!!!
Winner: Jaxson Ryker
Proof positive that you could have some moments that elevate a match, but if no one cares about either performer even a little, it falls on deaf ears. Just a complete lack of care for who the characters are on either end coupled with a lackluster start to the match that, even if it got good near the end, likely meant nothing to no one.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 12:46
Backstage, Mansoor tells Pearce and Sonya he wants to be in front of the WWE Universe for the first time. Mansoor told them he wanted to team with Ali next week. Ali comes up, says wtf. Mansoor says Ali has ben right this whole time. What better way to teach him a lesson than to be by the side of Mansoor. Ali says fine, but just this one time, and Mansoor better not screw it up.
Sheamus runs in all masked up. Sonya tells him that he needs to give Humberto a match, and if he wins, he gets a shot at the title. Sheamus says ok, if that’s what they want then that’s what they’ll get, but don’t be surprised if he smashes in Humberto’s face.
The CHAMP is here!
Oh, I meant Charlotte.
She says this feels good. She is proud to be here as our Queen and new champion. The last year and a half hasn’t been kind, but from adversity comes opportunity. We have all been begging for this. Rhea is an opportunist, and the difference between the two is she doesn’t need to copy anyone. Rhea will never measure up to the original. Look up her hashtag. She got so many congratulatory texts! Becky chant, but Charlotte says yes, Becky is home breast feeding while she is dominating. Lol. Nice.
Charlotte has received so much love when she won the title. Wanna know what this makes Charlotte? The 1 time Divas Champion, the 5 time Smackdown Women’s Champion, and the 5 time RAW Women’s Champion, making her the only 11 time Women’s Champion in the history of the WWE. Rhea had a chance, and she faild. She can beat Rhea any night of the week, and if she could, she’d beat Rhe—
Here is Rhea!!!
She doesn’t enter the ring right away, asking for a mic first, then entering.
Rhea chant.
Rhea says if Charlotte thinks she can beat her any night of the week, then why not tonight? Charlotte says she is no condition to fight after the knee damage, and Charlotte won the title while Rhea was crying in the corner.
Out come Sonya and Adam Pearce.
Charlotte kicks Rhea’s knee real quick then leaves the ring.
Looks like we got Alexa’s Playgound later today, but for right now, our Tag Team champions are here for action against Shayna and Nia.
Match 3: Natalya and Tamina vs Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler
We come back to the match in play. Shayna is beating down on Natalya’s back. She runs and misses a kick and Natalya shoves her out of the ring. Tag to Tamina is attempted, but Nia pulls her off the apron and hits a Samoan Drop to Tamina into the barricade. Shayna attacks from behind with a kick, covers for 1..2…NO!!! Tag to Nia. Nia shoves Natalya into the corner then splashes her. Tag to Shayna. Nia with a toss to Natalya. Shayna covers for 1.2..NO!!! Shayna works the arm, steps on the foot of Natalya. She looks to step on the wrist. She stomps Natalya hard. Tag to Nia. Nia comes in as Natalya screams. Nia grabs the hair. Whip to Natalya and Nia rushes the corner. She hits the post as Natalya moves. Nataly with a short clothesline. Discus clothesline. Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Nia tags in Shayna. Nattie with a German, tag from Tamina. Superkick to Nia Shayna rolls up Tamina. 1..2…NO!!! Running kick, misses, Tamina with a back elbow. Body slam from Tamina. Tamina to the top rope. Shayna with a high kick.
On the outside of the ring, Nattie turns Reggie. Shayna is distracted. Tamina superkicks and covers for 1..2…3!!!
Winners: Tamina and Natalya
-yawn-
Total Rating: 1/2*
Match Time: 3:45 shown
Reggie and Nia enter the ring to ask Shayna what’s going on. They argue a bit until Reggie gets a hug from Nia. THEN NIA HEADBUTTS REGGIE!!! Her and Shayna leave the ring.
Out comes the 24/7 goons to do some weird shit.
Reggie spins with a crossbody to Akira, then covers for 1..2….3!!!
Match 4: Sheamus vs Humberto Carrillo
Humberto fights hard and fights strong, beating Sheamus down in the middle of the ring. He kicks Sheamus out of the ring. Sheamus swipes, misses, and Humberto dropkicks Sheamus. He flies off the top rope onto Sheamus to the outside. Sheamus rolls into the ring, kick to Humberto. He grabs Humberto and clubs the back. Sheamus locks the head, attacks the midsection. He tries to suplex Humberto into the ring, but Humberto fights back and hangs Sheamus up. Humberto to the top rope, he dives, and gets a crossbody. Cover for 1..N!O!! Humberto attacks the back over and over. Stomp to the chest.
Backstage, Damian Priest is watching. Humberto kicks Sheamus into the corner. Sheamus falls to the outside. Humberto dives through the ropes and Sheamus punches him in the face. He grabs Humberto. He powerbombs him on the apron.
WE RETURN, and Sheamus is working the arm of Berto. Whip to Sheamus and it’s reversed. Irish Curse. Sheamus with the fishhook from behind! The ref starts a count. He tosses Humberto to the apron. Sheamus clubs him down then hits the kidney. Sheamus grabs Humberto by the head, and tries to fish hook again. HUMBERTO BITES SHEAMUS!!! Elbo to Sheamus! Another! Arm drag. Kicks to Sheamus! Another, spin kick to the chest. Sheamus backs into the corner. Sheamus dropkicks Humberto to the corner. Humberto hops up and gets a head scissors.
Dropkick to Sheamus. SUICIDE DIVE. They are back in the ring. Sheamus with a BROGUE KICK! Cover for 1..2…3!!!
Winner: Sheamus
Total Rating: **
Match Time: Stopwatch Issues
Bobby Lashley and MVP are out here to gloat. MVP apologizes for distracting Lashley, but that’s all over now. Lashley basically opens the door for a challenge.
It’s quiet until…
KEITH FREAKIN LEE SHOWS UP!!!!!!!
Match 5: Keith Lee vs Bobby Lashley
The behemoths are slow to start. Lockup! They wrestle round the ring across the ropes. Stalemate. Another lockup. Lashley backs Lee into the corner. Lashley backs up, turns then punches Lee in the face! Right hand to Lee. Lee LIFTS LASHLEY LIKE NOTHING!!! HE SENDS LASHLEY TO THE CORNER! HE LIFTS AND DOES IT AGAIN!!! Lee rushes into an elbow. Lee sends Lashley to the ropes, ducks under, over, crossbody to Lashley!!! Lee grabs Lashley and lifts him up for something. Flatliner! Lashley corners Lee. He sends him to the outside! Lee ssends Lashley into the post, then smashes him into the post! Lashley into the ring. Lee hops to the apron. Lashley shoves him off! He heads outside and grabs Lee and sends him into the ring and beats him down. Lashley waits for the Full nelson. He tries to lock the arm once, but Lee ain’t having it.
Lashley turns him and chokeslams him down hard! Lashley with a SPEAR! Cover for 1..2…3!!!!
Winner: Bobby Lashley
Not that I wanted Keith to win the title (although, I’d pop hard), but man why did they just bring him back to lose?
Total Rating: **
Match Time: Stopwatch Issues
Lashley celebrates until Goldberg’s music hits, and out comes the dude.
Goldberg comes out to laugh in the face of Lashley, then says he is next. MVP stops Lashley from beating that ass, saying not tonight.
BACKSTAGE, Lashley is livid. In comes the mic. MVP says Goldberg won’t get a response after what he just did.
In the ring, Jinder and Shanky and Veer are big chillin. JInder says today is his birthday. It gets better. Drew is NOT Mr. MitB. Jinder goes over the past few weeks with some recaps, including the broken sword and beat up motorcycle.
Jinder says he can buy another motorcycle; hell, he can buy ten, but Drew can never get a title shot so long as Lashley is is champion. Jinder gives the mic to Shanky to sing Happy Birthday to Jinder, and sing it, he does…
DREW IS HERE WITH A CHAIR! He smacks Jinder in the back, then attacks Veer. Shanky stands there, tells Drew to stop. Holds his hands out, looking for peace. Drew attacks him anyway. Crowd wants a ONE MORE TIME, but Drew removes his shirt instead. He then goes back out to grab a chair, listening to the crowd. Drew pulls Shanky by the ankle, and that name is odd to type. Drew attcks the leg and ass.
Drew smacks him 20 times.
WE come back to RAW, and Karrion Kross is here, standing all angrily. He is wearing his gold proudly, walking down the ramp by himself.
Match 6: Karrion Kross vs Jeff Hardy
Kross with a right hand that drops Jeff. He stomps him a bit then lifts and hits an over head suplex. Another toss over the head, then a stomp. He own Jeff, he says. Side lock and another toss over the head. Kross misses a shoulder I the corner. Twist of Fate! Jeff to the top rope! SWANTON BO—NO!! Kross rolls out of the way. He waits for Jeff to rise.
Elbow to jeff’s face. Jeff stacks up Kross. He uses the ropes! Cover for 1..2…3!!!!
Winner: Jeff Hardy
What..in the world?
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: Less than 3
Kross has a warning for Jeff. He just made the biggest mistake of his life. Kross says in the end, everyone will fall and pray.
Bliss welcomes us to her playground. She says she is a little sore today, but it’s ok. She has a very special guest today. Welcome back Lily!
In comes Eva looking her Joker best. She thought Alexa learned her lesson. Bliss ignores Eva. Eva takes offense. Bliss says hello to Piper. She finally acknowledges Eva with a mocking “Yay.” If she insists on coming to her playground, she must know it’s a bad idea to say anything bad about Lily.
Eva considers tossing her in the trash. Ha. Ha. Bliss says she hopes she doesn’t, plus she doesn’t want to put Lily back in timeout so soon, but Bliss has an idea. What if they put Piper in timeout so that everyone can see what Eva can do without anyone’s help.
Eva will not waste anymore of her time with this. Eva tries to walk away, thn trips…over nothing….horribly….
Match 7: Rhea Ripley vs Charlotte
Go behind from Rhea, with a slam and a flurry of punches. Kick from Charlotte to slow her down. Whip to Rhea, into the corner. Rhea corners Charlotte into the corner. Whip to Charlotte, who hops over the ropes onto the apron. Shoulder to Rhea. Charlotte flies back into the ring and arm drags into an arm lock. Charlotte with a right, Rhea gets one, too. Kick from Charlotte. Charlotte sends Rhea into the corner, chops the chest of Rhea. Charlotte sends Rhea into the corner again, tries for a suplex, but inside cradle gets a 1.2….NO!!! Rhea kicks, locks the head, goes for a suplex, Charlotte lands on hr eet, shoves, misses a right, GERMAN FROM RHEA!! Dropkick from Rhea. Interesting to not that Corey talks about Rhea’s injury to the leg, but isn’t showing any signs of said injury.
Rhea out the corner, Charlotte with a clothesline, sending Rhea outside, and she sells the leg now. Charlotte kicks the leg out and Rhea flies to the outside again. Charlotte leaves th ring and chops the leg from behind fast. Charlotte rolls Rhea back into the ring. The ref holds Charlotte back, but Charlotte wants her bad. Rhea drags herself to the corner. Ref checks on Rhea.
WE come back, and Charlotte drops a knee to the back of the leg of Rhea. She grabs the leg, drags it over to the corner, and looks to pull it down over the rope. Charlotte stomps the knee a few times. Rhea sends Charlotte into the corner. GERMAN! No cover! Charlotte is up first, hits a right to the face. Rhea swings back, another, Charlotte with another hit. They go back and forth. Charlotte blocks, hits a right, Rhea with a short clothesline, again, a third with a kick. Northern Lights. 1..2…NO!!!! Charlotte drops Rhea again, gets to the corner after a Big Boot. Charlotte to the top. Moonsault, lands on her feet, Rhea gets the knees up, and Charlotte grazes them. Rhea grabs the leg, pauses, then goes for it! She goes for the Figure Four. She locks it in, working the ankle of Charlotte. Charlotte gets to the ropes, then stomps Rhea down. Chops to Rhea all the way into the corner. Rhea kicks Charlotte away. Kick to Charlotte. She goes for Riptide, HITS IT!!! Cover for 1..2….FOOT ON THE ROPE! What a rookie. Rhea limps over to the ref to complain, giving Charlotte time to recover.
Charlotte is outside of the ring. She grabs her title and heads back up the ramp. Rhea chases her up the rmap! BELT SHOT TO THE FACE, and the match is over!
Winner: Rhea Ripley via DQ
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 12:36
Charlotte stands in the middle of the ring with her belt held high.
Her music hits, but Rhea is back in the ring with a kick! Charlotte sends her to the outside! Charlotte sends her int othe barricade, Rhea sends Charlotte into the ringpost. Rhea sends Charlotte into the ring.
NIKKI A.S.H.’s music hits!! Nikki is out with her briefcase. She wants to cash in!
She does!!! She hands the briefcase to the ref, the ring announcer says it’s happening. Nikki to the top rope. Nikki waits. Charlotte stands. Crossbody. 1..2….3!!!!!!!
Nikki A.S.H. is the NEW WWE RAW Women’s Champion!
Yes, the one who has gotten fluke wins for a few months now gets another one.
End Show
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