wrestling / TV Reports
Acero’s WWE Smackdown Review 9.11.20
Image Credit: WWE
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Do it right, do it tight!
Smackdown starts with a recap of Roman and Heyman’s Reign of Samoan Pride from last week. On the same show that Heyman quotes Godfather III, I gave out an 8, so let’s see if the show can color me surprised one more time.
YOUR Universal Champion is here, and the ungodly AR version of Roman, although somewhat eerily cool, seems like such a waste of money.
Reigns stands at the top of the ramp with his homie Paul E and holds his title up as pyro goes off all around him.
Heyman brings up last week that our Tribal Chief said to tell us everything, and on that same night, his family stepped up. Jey emerged as the sole beneficiary, dethroned a king, braved a bro, and solved a riddle. Heyman introduces Jey, and out he comes.
Jey heads out, says Heyman goes waaay back with his family. He wants to thank Paul, because now he gets to compete against his blood and champ.
Heyman interrupts, says he doesn’t owe any thanks. The appreciation goes to Roman. This was his idea. Heyman just implemented and executed a command from his boss, from his Tribal Chief. Roman tells Jey he’s earned this. Nobody gave it to him, he earned it. He’s bout to take a huge payday home. This is his moment. Jey’s moment. Roman tells him not to look at the title, this isn’t his moment. At Clash, he’s going to whip Jey’s ass. This must stay on his shoulders for their family to stay on top. Just like when they were kids, Roman is going to whoop his ass. After that, they can be family. But come Clash, he’s going to whoop Jey’s ass.
Corbin is here, saying this was a setup all along. Roman, you pulled a few strings to get a hand-picked opponent for his first offense. That guy just happens to be Roman’s cousin? Nepotism at its finest. There is nothing that he despises more than watching someone walk around and abuse their power.
Out comes our favorite fella, Sheamus! He agrees with Corbin. This situation stinks. Last week, Big E took an unfortunate spill, which should have caused a triple threat, but strings were pulled and Jey is now in the match. How can anyone prepare on such short notice.
Jey tries to interfere, but Sheamus says the grown ups are talking. Jey challenges Corbin and Sheamus to a tag match. Jey makes short work of them and stares down his cousin as he watches Roman leave.
Sami is upset backstage, yelling at the production crew, and he’s asking how this is even ok, pointing to the Jeff v AJ pic on the screen, as they are up next for the IC Title.
As the title match is announced, Sami comes out. How dare all of us!? This match is NOT for the IC Title, because he is the champion. How many times does he have to say it. He won it on March 8, 2020. Then he defended it against Daniel Bryan at Mania. He is the real champ, and he takes a few months off, and WWE decides to create a new SHAMPion. He’s back, now. If Jeff and Aj wanna beat each other up, fine, but this match is an Exhibition Match.
Out comes Adam Pearce. Pearce is here to get Sami outta here. He walks Sami to the back. AJ attacks from behind. Ref breaks them apart and rings the bell.
Match 1: Intercontinental Championship Match
AJ Styles vs Jeff Hardy
Twist of Fate right after the bell! Jeff to the top rope! SWANTON BO—NO!!! AJ rolls out of the way! We go to commercial.
We are back, and AJ sends Jeff out of the ring hard. AJ stomps him on the outside. AJ with another stomp. He brings Jeff over to the steps then gets on top. Jeff shoves his legs, and AJ hits the steps! Poetry in Motion from Jeff into the barricade! We are back in the ring and Jeff goes for the leg drop between the legs, but AJ shoots his legs away, and Jeff is blocked. He runs up the ropes, Whisper in the Wind, doesn’t get all of it. Jeff waits for AJ to turn. AJ does so, kick to AJ, Twist of NO!!! AJ with the fireman’s. He flips Jeff over and lands his head on the knee! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Basement dropkick from Jeff. Splash. Cover for 1..2..NO!!!! AJ up He grabs the leg of Jeff, drops some elbows on it, Jeff kicks out of the hold, Jeff to the corner, goes to swing a kick, but AJ dodges yet again. AJ on the apron.
Looking for the Phenomenal Forearm. SAMI IS THERE TO PULL HIM OFF THE APRON!!!
Winner: AJ Styles via DQ
They did something interesting here with AJ blocking and having an answer for almost everything Jeff did, almost as if his cliché’d moveset was no match for AJ’s wrestling prowess. I don’t know if that’s what they were going for, but I really liked it. A shame, though, that the commercial break cut into a bulk of it.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 7:49
Sami sends AJ into the steps! He enters the ring. HELLUVA KICK TO JEFF!
Backstage, Jey is seating on the upper portion of a couch, proving that only Reigns’ household had rules about furniture. Jey is strategizing, while Roman sits looking annoyed.
So Jeff makes his way up the ramp, then tumbles over and rolls off the stage onto some lightings. Unfortunately, I’m reminded of Victory Road, and that’s never good…
We are backstage with Alyse or something. She says Jeff never lost consciousness, and suffered instead from dehydration. AJ runs in to say that we need to call this what it is. This all has to start. AJ stumbles a bit, saying Jeff cheated to get the title, and Sami disappeared. Who is the real IC champ. AJ says this is determination. AJ can beat Sami, and can beat Jeff. He doesn’t care when, where, how, what kind of match – he will prove, once and for all, that AJ is the true one and only IC Champion.
Cole reminds us of the Brand to Brand Invitational that exists once per quarter, and brings up Cesaro challenging The Street Profits.
So, backstage, Cesaro and Shinsuke are talking about some thangs. In come The Street Profits. C&S wonder what they’re doing in here. Raw champs say they wanted to check out the Champion Lounge, which I presume is in the same building that RAW is filmed, meaning they’d likely been there.
Cesaro tells them they have a match next, and nee to go. The Street Profits promise not to break anything. They….eat popcorn.
BACKSTAGE, Jeff is being checked on. Sami comes in asking if the doc is sure it’s fluids that Jeff needs, and perhaps not something more?
Match 2: Kalisto and Gran Metalik vs Cesaro and Shinsuke
Cesaro and Gran to start. Whip to Gran into the corner. Cesaro misses a clothelnie, tilt a whirl into a hurricanrana from Gran. Kick to the guts, runs the ropes and flies off with another hurricanrana. Tag to Kalisto who hops on the shoulders of Gran and flies off onto Cesaro. Pin for 1..2…NO!!!! Kalisto looks to hit the ropes, but Shinsuke distracts. Clothesline from Cesaro. Tag to Shin, who comes in and hits ak nee to the chest. Snapmare into a knee drop to the face. Cover for 1….NO!!! Shin sends Kalisto into the corner then chokes him up with a boot. Tag to Cesaro, who runs in with an uppercut. Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Cesaro works the head, twerking it and holding both the arms back as well. Kalisto turns into the hold, hits a right hand. Body slam from Cesao then a leg drop. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Tag to Shinsuke who comes in and kicks the chest. Shinsuke lay Kalisto on the top ropes, and runs with a knee. Tag to Cesaro. Gutwrench and Shinsuke flies off with a knee to the head, then Cesaro tosses Kalisto. Shinsuke sends Gran off the apron. Cesaro covers for 1..2….NO!!!!
ON THE SCREEN, The Street Profits are throwing a party in the back. Drew is the champagne tender, and Gable has his own bottle. They say that since Cesaro and Shinsuke are throwing down in the ring, then they’ll throw down backstage.
Kalisto rolls Cesaro up. 1….2…3!!!
Winners: Kalisto and Gran Metalik
Never been a fan of a distracted wrestler, and this was no different. I also have to question why Shin and Cesaro would care about the exclusivity of their “Champions Lounge” when it’s in the same building RAW is, why Gulak would be interested in being there at all, and if Gable is even old enough to drink…
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 3:38
Bayley is walking backstage with a chair.
BACKSTAGE, Lucha House Party goes to partake in the partying with The Street Profits.
Bayley is here! She comes out and holds the chair she used to destroy my beautiful and beloved last week.
Bayley takes a seat in the middle of the ring. She’s got a mic.
We get a video package of the girls and all of their recent losses. Bayley is bummed. She is showered by boos. She says, after all of that, everyone is asking how Sasha is, is she feeling any better, when is she coming back. No one is asking how she feels, though. Do you think she enjoyed that? That it felt good? To destroy her best friend? Well ding dong, hello?
YES I DID.
She loved every single second of it. Now, she’s out here for answers. Cole wants to know. She only has questions. Sasha is watching, she is sure of it. Do you think she is some sort of idiot? That Bayley is so naïve that she was unaware of what Sasha was thinking all along? Who knows Sasha better than Bayley. She was waiting for the right time to strike. She first brought Bayley in as her tag team partner. When Bayley won the title on RAW, Sasha was right there. Sasha followed her to Smackdown, and when she saw Bayley at the top, she needed to become Two Belts Banks. Sasha pretended to be her best friend, but she was only using Bayley. How does she know this?
Bayley stands.
Because she was using Sasha, too! She didn’t care about Sasha and only used her to get where she was. Thanks to Banks, she has all of these accolades, and she is now the longest reigning Smackdown Women’s Champion. After last week, Sasha is completely useless to Bayley.
Bayley drops the mic.
Fatal Four Way coming up next. Nikki makes her entrance as Bayley is heading backstage. Nikki is all smiles as she walks down past Bayley.
Bayley smacks her across the back with a chair.
Match 3: Nikki Cross vs Alexa Bliss vs Tamina s Lacey Evans
Lacey tries to take control immediately with a pin on Alexa. We get a 1..2…NO!!! She then goes after Tamina, who just gives Alexa a big boot. Lacey chokes Tamina up on the ropes, choking her up a bit, then breaks the hold. Tamina sends Lacey to the outside. Alexa is back in and she gets kicked by Tamina. Tamina with a splash in the corner. Lacey attacks Tamina by scraping her face against the top rope. Lacey with a delayed bronco buster, but Tamina kicks her before she can swing it fully. Tamina chokes Alexa up in the corner. Nikki is back in, she hops on Tamina;s back, but gets tossed right back off. Nikki with rights, Tamin shoves her, Nikki comes back with a dropkick to the leg, she hits the ropes. Clothelsine to Tamina. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Tamina gets sent to the outside. Nikki flies off the apron with a crossbody to Tamina and Lacey! Alexa grabs Nkki! SHE HITS SISTER ABIGAIL ON NIKKI!!!!
WE COME BACK to find out Alexa has left the match. Tamina misses a shoulder and Lacey kicks her from the apron, then drives some knees into Tamina. Tamina misses a right hand and Lacey pulls he down backirst onto the top rope. Lacey trips her up. Lacey flies over the top with an elbow. Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Lacey to the top rope. Tamina pulls her legs out. Tamina rushes the corner. Drop Toe Hold to Tamina. Lacey runs and swings with a Bronco Buster. Lacey to the 2nd rope. Moonsault! Pin for 1..2..NO!!! Nikki is there to stop the Pin. Nikki hits splashes on both women twice, Bulldog to Tamina, takes out Lacey. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Nikki grabs Tamina. She whips Tamina, Tamina into the corner, Nikki rushes, misses, elbow to Tamina, Tornado DDT to Tamina! Lacey with a clothesline, Nikkie ducks under, neckbreaker. Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Tamina stops it. SUPERKICK TO LACEY! Samoan Drop attempt. Woman’s Right! Nikki misses a Right, Nikki with a headbutt, lifts up, Neckbreaker off the ropes! Cove for 1….NO!!!
Lacey rolls out and Tamina grabs Nikki. Superkick is missed, Nikki rolls up Tamina. 1..2…3!!!
Winner:
Not too bad of a match, considering Tamina was involved, but it’s definitely overshadowed by Bailey v Sasha, so it wouldn’t really matter who won.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 11:41
Another video package for the blonde chick, showing a bulk of her body, but not her face.
Match 4: John Morrison vs Otis
Otis trucks Morrison, and he spins roughly 365 times. Yes, he spent a year in the middle of the ring. Otis whips, Morrison rolls over, hits the ropes, and Otis hits a back elbow. Jawbreaker to Otis. Otis dances out of it. Kicks from Morrison. Otis shakes it off with some jiggity jigs. He rope shakes, catches a kick, then hits a T-bone suplex. Otis shoots Morrison away from himself. Miz hops away from commentary and tries to distract, does so, and Otis misses a splash in the corner. Morrison grabs the lunchbox, which apparently contains the contract, and runs away with it. Morrison laughs it off.
Splash in the corner. Caterpillar. Otis to the top rope, falls off with a slam and a cover for 1..2…3!!!
Winner: Otis
This is dumb.
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: 2:22
Cole wants to talk about Big E, and we get a video package of what’s been goin on with the big man.
Firefly Funhouse is next, and he brings up that something is missing from The Funhouse, but it’s ok. Everyone experiences loss. But experiencing it defines the person you’ve become.
Bray wants to go have some fun with his pig. In this box is the newest member of the Firefly Funhouse; a very special friend, an inspiration to all of his Fireflies. He introduces Pasqual, the Persevering Parrot. He asks him to fly out and say something inspirational. No bird comes out. Bray asks again, goes over to the box, and….
technical difficulties
Please stand by
Ramblin says he flew the coop, dude. Lol. Bray killed the bird. Mercy wants to eat it. Oh well, says Bray.
Here’s Vince McMahon to shake his head. What the “My Home” is going on around here. He’s lost the title, the parrot, and lost his trust. He can’t handle the responsibility of The Firefly Funhouse on his own. This is non-negotiable. Bray better cooperate or he’s….
Bray asks what he has in mind. Vince introduces The New Special Advisor to the Firefly Funhouse…
It’s a seal. It’s dressed like Paul Heyman. His name is Wobbily Walrus…
Wtf…
Bray watches as he and Vince stare each other down.
Vince: “This is such good shit.”
Sheamus tries and attacks Jey before the match starts. Jey ducks that, and goes for Corbin, but Sheamus is there to grab him and send Jey into the barricade, then into the ring. The bell rings and Reigns isn’t even out there. How dumb…no ref would do that, and certainly not Charles Robinson.
Match 5: Baron Corbin and Sheamus vs Roman Reigns and Jey Uso
Corbin and Jey to start, Corbin lifts with a Deep Six. Cover for 1..2…NO!!!! Corbin realizes Reigns isn’t coming out. He tags in Sheamus then gives Jey a right hand. Sheamus holds Jey up against the ropes and does the beat. Sheamus tags in Corbin who stomps Jey down in the corner. Corbin chokes him up against the top rope then dives off, and misses. Kick from jey. Uppercut to Corbin. Corbin on the shoulders, he sends Jey into the ropes, Jey knocks Sheamus off the apron. Samoan Drop to Corbin! Jey rushes the corner with the Kishi Crush, but Sheamus tags in and pulls him out of the way. White Noise to Jey. Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Sheamus calls for the Brogue Kick.
Reign’s music hits, and out comes Reigns. Jey ducks under the Brogue, hits ane enziguri, Kishi Crush in the corner. Suicide dive to Corbin! Jey to the top rope! Sheamus is up. Crossbody, Sheamus catches him, floats over, SUPERKICK TO SHEAMUS! Jey to the top rope. Reigns tags softly.
Splash from Jey. Reigns in, Jey is informed of the tag and rolls outside. SPEAR from Reigns. Cover for 1…..2…3!!!!
Winner:
Don’t get me wrong; I love the idea of Reigns coming in, kicking ass, and leaving, making jey do all the work, and being an all around bad ass, but to start the match before he’s even out is just bad writing. College kids would be destroyed for putting this to paper. It’s not a big deal, it’s really not, but it’s just a sign of the product that thy pick and choose when shit matters, and likely bothers no one more than me.
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 3:59
Heyman hands the title over to Reigns as Jey stands by his side. Jey holds Reigns hand up with the title. Reigns is a little shocked by it.
End Show
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