wrestling / Columns

Botched!: David Arquette, Bricks, Balor, More

November 25, 2018 | Posted by Steve Cook
David Arquette Nick Gage LA Confidential

Hi, hello & welcome to Botched! Hope everybody’s having a happy holiday/shopping weekend. Survivor Series took place this week & brought us some stuff, but as has been the trend lately, south of the border is the place to go for the really crazy. And boy did they bring the really crazy this week…

1. Is that Pagano? I assume it’s Pagano: Recently I’ve taken notice of this fella in AAA by the name of Pagano. He seems especially prone to doing the sort of things that appear in this column. Last week he took all day to do a wrestling move, which was funny and not especially dangerous. This week’s AAA show on Twitch saw Pagano go to the dangerous side of the ledger with an attempted Spanish Fly through a flaming table.

Apparently that was Ciclope that went through the table with him. I can only hope it wasn’t the WCW one, as that guy’s gotta be too old to be doing this stuff.

2. I assume this isn’t how it was drawn up: The tag team Survivor Series match seems to have been a botch in itself, as apparently the wrong team won so WWE decided to ignore it for the rest of the evening. It made the people involved & the kickoff show itself look irrelevant & WWE look like idiots for ignoring match results.

But we’re not here to talk about botched booking, we’re here to talk about Karl Anderson & Lince Dorado miscalculating where the ropes were for a Lince hurricanrana.

3. It’s gotta be the shoes: Finn Balor is a master of the double stomp. He’s done it as many times as anybody not named Low Ki. At Survivor Series it looked like it was the first time he’d ever done the move. Balor has an interesting explanation though.

Sounds legit. Shoes are notoriously hard to break in.

4. Well it’s a big fall :Typically, Big Show is a tough person to knock over. He wasn’t this week!

I can only assume the big lug was feeling a bit light-headed from eating too much turkey.

5. I have no idea how to even describe any of this: These two go beyond the usual parameters of this column. The botches here are generally more humorous than anything else. Occasionally there are ones where people get hurt, like last week with Nia Jax breaking Becky Lynch’s face. As sloppy as Nia is on a regular basis, nobody would say that her botches aren’t accidental on her part. This goes even beyond that, and into the realm of “This person is a dangerous human being that should not be entrusted with somebody else’s safety in a wrestling match.”

Angel o Demonio claimed that he meant to hit Cuervo in the back. Whatever he meant to do ended up with Cuervo suffering a skull fracture & an epidural hematoma, and having surgery to have a blood clot removed from his head. This Demonio character shouldn’t be allowed in a ring again, and probably will be.

We also had David Arquette nearly getting himself killed in a death match with Nick Gage when his throat got sliced by a light tube.

Like…what the hell is going on in wrestling? I thought we were toning things down and getting away from the deathmatch stuff that might actually result in death. People are just getting crazier & crazier. Hopefully this trend doesn’t continue into 2019.

Thanks for reading! If you see (or hear) anything wrong in the world of wrestling, let me know via Twitter or e-mail at [email protected]. Have a good weekend!

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