wrestling / Columns

Botched!: Exploding Rings, Cole Sees The Future, Stunt’s Power, More

March 14, 2021 | Posted by Steve Cook
Kenny Omega AEW Revolution

Hi, hello & welcome to Botched! Well, I think we all know what the big draw is this time around. All Elite Wrestling found out what it was like to over-promise & under-deliver at their Revolution event, as the ending to the EXPLODING BARBED WIRE DEATH MATCH was less explosive than a typical Cody Rhodes entrance.

We got some other stuff to talk about too, so let’s get to it…

1. Michael Cole = Nostradamus

We kick things off with a reader submission. Buddy Langston sent this one in:

On last week’s smackdown, Cole called Murphy tapping to Cesaro before it happened. Might’ve been confused cause the ref slapped the mat, and the camera angle wasn’t great, but Cole has been botching a lot lately. Might be getting a bit too old for live TV. Definitely too old for that soul patch

Sure enough, there’s Cesaro putting Murphy in the Sharpshooter at 2:40, and there’s Cole calling the tapout before it happens. Seth Rollins responds with “You could see it coming, couldn’t you?”, which is pretty cute.

2. Mutoh’s old. It’s ok.

Pro Wrestling Noah recently saw Keiji Mutoh become their heavyweight champion. At 58 years old, Mutoh isn’t quite in the physical prime of his career, but Noah hopes that he’ll draw more attention to their product. And it’s working! I don’t remember ever using a gif from Pro Wrestling Noah in this column until now.

Mutoh wasn’t happy with himself, but he didn’t hide from it. These things happen. Wrestlers would do well to remember that.

3. The power of Marko Stunt’s legs

Sometimes, people are deceptively powerful. I remember back in the day when people used to talk about Dan Severn’s tendon strength and how it made him one of the strongest people in wrestling, even if his physique wasn’t as flashy as his peers. Marko Stunt is this generation’s version of Dan Severn.

Yeah, I said it!

Look at this move he performs on Evil Uno during the Tag Team Casino Battle Royale at Revolution. It looks like he completely whiffs on a rana, but the power generated by Marko’s legs sends Evil Uno running forward into the ringpost like he was shot out of a cannon!

Unbelievable. I’m telling you guys, don’t sleep on the strength of Marko Stunt.

4. The Explosion That Wasn’t

To be perfectly honest, most of the botches that this column has covered over the past four years have been collected into the dustbin of history. There’s very few of them that we still remember today. Sure, they were big deals at the time they happened, and we all got a laugh, but as time moved on their relevance diminished. There hasn’t been that “Shockmaster Moment”, where the botch is so glaring and so damaging to the reputation of the people involved that it stands the test of time & is talked about forever & ever.

This one might rise to that level. The stakes were high. AEW put a lot of hype, time & resources into their Revolution main event. There haven’t been too many Exploding Barbed Wire Death Matches here in America. It was important for them to get it right, or at least pull the thing off without getting anybody killed or looking silly in the process. At least they didn’t get anybody killed!

My apologies to the host of this video for when it inevitably gets taken down. AEW’s been pretty hardcore about that over the past few days.

AEW seems to be running with the idea that Kenny Omega doesn’t know how to build an exploding ring, since the whole thing was his idea & construction in storyline. I don’t mind them rolling with that on TV, even if it does make the announcers and Eddie Kingston look foolish for selling it like it was an actual exploding ring. It does concern me that Tony Khan is working the gimmick off of television and can’t just admit “Hey, we messed up.”

Standards for AEW are higher. They were supposed to be the fed that doesn’t lie to the people. WWE lies, and we don’t bat an eye because that’s WWE. AEW hasn’t built up that kind of credibility yet. They still need to take their fans somewhat seriously. Maybe this won’t be a big deal in the long run, but it feels like a sign of things to come on a number of levels.

5. Kane has a copyright on setting four ringposts on fire

That’s why Alexa Bliss is only allowed to set three on fire.

I saw some people actually going on about how this was some kind of shot at AEW’s botched explosion on Sunday. So one of two things are true:

-The people thinking this read way too much into wrestling pyro and need to get out of the house once in awhile
-WWE purposely botched their main event storyline to make fun of AEW & get a laugh

Sure, one could argue that their main event storyline is a joke anyway, and I wouldn’t argue with them too much. The bottom line is that either the fans or WWE look silly here. Take your pick!

Thanks for reading! If you see (or hear) anything wrong in the world of wrestling, let me know via Twitter or e-mail at [email protected] See you next time!

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Botched!, Steve Cook