wrestling / Columns

Botched!: Hulk Hogan’s Figure 4, Samoa Joe is Telepathic, More

June 21, 2020 | Posted by Steve Cook
Hulk Hogan WWE Crown Jewel 1

Hi, hello and welcome to Botched! This is the rare opportunity for you to just laugh at some nonsense, and that’s what I’m here to provide. Usually, I try to keep it current, but I saw something so fun that it needs to be shared right here & now. I also saw a Twitter account hyping all kinds of things that belong in this column, so we’ll include them too. I’m just trying to make y’all laugh at this point, the date of the botch probably doesn’t matter, right?

1. Hulk Hogan applying a Figure 4

Like, what the hell. I know the man had it applied to him at some point. He saw some tape. But, from what I can tell from this clip, the man never actually saw the move applied in his life.

I’m pretty sure he was trying to do Dusty Rhodes’ version of the Figure 4, which worked really well, but Hulk didn’t have it figured out. Very awkward.

2. That’s Our Mongo!

Don’t get me wrong. I never thought that Steve “Mongo” McMichael was a legend of the business. I did think he was surprisingly solid for his level of experience. But man, when you look at his work decades later…it either ages magnificently or not at all depending on who you ask.

There were at least three botches in that sequence. Probably more. Mongo was an amazing man.

3. Not sure what Bobby Fish was doing here

I’m sure there’s some kind of context here. The man had just escaped Dexter Loomis’s lair, after all. I just can’t imagine this is what he was trying to do.

Yeah, I got nothing.

4. Samoa Joe is telepathic

People want to tell me that Edge & Randy Orton had the GREATEST WRESTLING MATCH EVER at Backlash. I wish I could sell my soul that easily and agree with them. Then I see this.

Like, really? Y’all gonna show Joe while he’s allegedly talking and he isn’t? They edited this thing so many times they managed to injure Edge, there’s no reason they should have shown a shot of the announcers while they were just chilling.

5. Put the F back in!

Got a tweet from one of my favorite Tweeps. You can become a Tweep by following me @stevecook84, I mostly live-tweet weekly wrestling shows I’m home for, plug my shit and RT people that I agree with that are more eloquent than I. It’s good times, trust me.

Yep, that’s exactly what happened there. In Byron’s defense, I still talk about the WWF at least once a week. And not even while talking about saving the pandas, which I also do once a week because I actually care about the environment.

Thanks for reading! If you see (or hear) anything wrong in the world of wrestling, let me know via Twitter or e-mail at [email protected] See you next time!

article topics :

Botched!, Hulk Hogan, Steve Cook