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Botched!: Mandy and Asuka’s Creepy Fastlane Picture, Dean’s Music, More

March 3, 2019 | Posted by Steve Cook
Mandy Rose Asuka Fastlane Botched

Hi, hello & welcome to Botched! I’m going to be honest with you…there hasn’t been as much wrestling going on this week as usual. Certainly not as much wrestling that will own up to botches, and I’ve been a bit too busy to do my investigative reporting. So here’s five things and I hope you like them!

1. Will Ospreay wants the top spot, and I will give it to him.

You gotta love wrestlers that own up to their own botches, am I right?

Yes, I am right.

2. Dean can’t pick between songs

Dean Ambrose is a complicated man. He turns against Seth Rollins and has a elongated feud with him, then wonders why Seth doesn’t rescue him from a beatdown. He’s married to Renee Young and his BFF Roman Reigns just came back to WWE, but he still wants to leave the company. I can’t make heads or tails of this guy, and neither can the WWE production truck. They can’t decide which one of his theme songs to play.

Dean comes out 58 seconds into the video, in case watching Lacey Evans walk the ramp isn’t your thing. Old school babyface music because that seems to be how he’s rolling these days. Or is it? After hitting Elias with Dirty Deeds, he walks off at 3:35 to his siren bad guy music. Listen, I don’t care which one they play, I just want some consistency dangnab it. It’s not like he’s Mankind having piano music play after his victories to sooth his soul.

3. Kofi doesn’t exactly hit it

Well, he did smack Rowan’s face with his elbow on the way down, so that’s close enough, right?

4. Percy should listen to Mauro

Poor Mauro Ranallo. He does an admirable job as play by play announcer on NXT, but sometimes it seems like nobody is listening to him. His partner, “Showtime” Percy Watson, appears to be one of those people.

To be fair, Voodoo Penguin accuses me of not listening to him during our fantasy football podcast all the time. He isn’t wrong, I tend to tune in & out.

5. Mandy vs. Asuka picture

Asuka will be defending the SmackDown Women’s Championship against Mandy Rose at Fastlane. No, that’s not the botch. I am on record as saying that Mandy was more ready for Asuka than Charlotte Flair or Becky Lynch were. The picture that was used to advertise the match…hoo boy.

There’s some stuff going on between the left arm & torso of each competitor that makes it look like Mandy Rose has three arms & is wearing a really weird top. You would think somebody with three arms would have an advantage in grappling, but really that’s just one more target for an armbar.

Thanks for reading! If you see (or hear) anything wrong in the world of wrestling, let me know via Twitter or e-mail at [email protected] Have a nice week!

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Botched!, Steve Cook