CHIKARA Once Upon a Beginning Results 4.05.19: Dasher Hatfield Becomes Grand Champion

– CHIKARA held its Once Upon a Beginning event last night. Below are some results, courtesy of Joshua Higham and PWInsider

Crummels and DeFarge defeated CCK (Chris Brookes and Kid Lykos)

Cornelius Crummels pinned Kid Lykos after a super monkey flip. Tons of back and forth lucha-style action, and a really gross spot involving threatening Crummels with a dribbling line of snot, but you’ll get that from the literal dirtiest players in the game.

Missile Assault Man defeated Boomer Hatfield

The background here is that Missile Assault Man has two points, so Dasher Hatfield sent his son Boomer to prevent M.A.M. from getting his third point to challenge for the Grand Championship. Missile Assault Man absolutely dominated the rookie Hatfield and got the pin after a Missile Launcher. Missile Assault Man now has three points and can challenge for the Grand Championship. Post-match, Missile Assault Man had his eyes on the Grand Championship, which was already hanging from the ceiling.

Golden Dreams Atomicos Match: Jigsaw, “Stokely Hathaway”, ThunderFrog, and Razerhawk defeated Hallowicked, Arik Cannon, Cam Zagami, and Hermit Crab 

Eight former Young Lions Cup holders in an atomicos exhibition. This is one of Jigsaw’s first matches back after a ten month long injury hiatus. Chuckie T was announced as “Stokely Hathaway,” playing off his time of searching for a new name after the Chuck Taylor name and trademark was bought by Stokely Hathaway. (The real Stokely Hathaway later tweeted that he’d sue anyone who referred to “Dustin” as Stokely.)

Razerhawk got the win for the tecnico team after a swanton on Cam Zagami who went down after Thunderfrog smashed the ring with his hammer.

In a rematch from the finals of last year’s Rey de Voladores, A-Kid (representing Team White Wolf from Madrid, Spain) defeated Air Wolf after a Spanish Fly off the top. They are now 1-1 against each other, so you’d have to imagine there’s going to be a rubber match in the future.

Juan Francisco de Coronado came to the ring, and claimed that his name is not Juan Francisco de Coronado. Since losing the Grand Championship, he’s fallen on some hard times, had his Ecuadorian citizenship revoked, and paid his debt to The Closers with pain. All this caused some soul-searching, and that he has to prove his worth again. He is now John Francis of Coronado.

Young Lions Cup: Still Life with Apricots and Pears defeated Carlos Romo with the Venus de Milo. Romo tweaked his left leg early in the contest, and Still Life focused their attack on it. Still Life gained some headlines with the revelation that they are non-binary (with a they/them pronoun preference), becoming the first known non-binary champion in wrestling. They have since decorated the Young Lions Cup, essentially turning it into a vase with flowers.

Princess KimberLee defeated The Whisper. These two are the current reigning Campeones de Parejas, after won La Loteria Letal and their title match despite the long-standing animosity, dating back to Season 17 when The Whisper revealed to be holding some kind of secret over Princess KimberLee, which led to her self-exile from Chikara. Kimber Lee hit ten straight german suplexes right off the bat before The Whisper was able to hit an offensive maneuver. Six more German suplexes and a bridge to get the pinfall.

FIST (Icarus, Tony Deppen, and Travis Huckabee) defeated The Colony (Fire Ant, Green Ant, and Thief Ant). Travis Huckabee forced Green Ant to submit to the Stretch Muffler after being able to counter Green Ant’s own attempt to counter out of it. Interestingly enough, Green Ant attempted multiple times to lock in the Chikara Special, the proprietary submission hold that was a major part of Chikara history, but not used much in the past few years.

Bryce Remsburg took the mic to introduce the new Director of Fun. Smooth Sailing Ashley Remington’s music hit, but out came Sidney Bakabella to reveal himself as the new Director of Fun, which was met with chants of “He’s not fun” from some of the crowd.

Chikara Grand Championship: Dasher Hatfield defeated Mr. Touchdown to become the Undisputed Grand Champion. This match was set to unite both men’s claims to the Grand Championship, since Hatfield was defending the title after Touchdown’s injury and refused to return to title after Touchdown’s reinstatement from the injured list. Dasher Hatfield entered the ring wearing a new golden mask. Tons of brawling on the floor including a moment very reminiscent of Touchdown’s injury at King of Trios. Touchdown found a taller ladder under the ring. Quackenbush noted on commentary that Dasher’s son, Boomer, and niece, Molly McCoy (who has yet to debut officially) watching from the stage. In a moment I’ve never seen before, Dasher wedged the ladders vertically in the ropes on opposite sides of the ring with both men trading shots and Irish whips into the ladders. Dasher forced Boomer to go under the ring to grab something, but Boomer was reluctant. Dasher yelled at his son and grabbed multiple chairs and tossed them in the ring, but fell victim to a spinebuster on to the chairs from Touchdown. That got a You Deserve It chant from the crowd. Dasher was able to Pillmanize Touchdown’s knee while he was attempting to climb. Dasher went back to the outside to grab the loaded elbow pad (a nod to the Challenge of the Immortals from a few years ago), which was stashed under the ring skirt. Dasher hit a jackhammer and climbed the ladder, only to be met with a superplex from Touchdown. They bridged the smaller ladder between the bigger ladder and the second rope, and Dasher Hatfield hits a powerbomb, splitting the smaller ladder in two. With that, it was enough for Hatfield to climb and grab the title.