wrestling / TV Reports
Ciocco’s AEW Dynamite Review 1.8.25
Image Credit: AEW
Loading...Hey, Sickos! Sorry this intro is going to feel a bit forced and short, but I’m running behind from work and I have not yet eaten, so this is going to be quick and to the point.
We have a lot on tap tonight, including a 3-way match between Kris Statlander, Toni Storm, and Willow Nightingale, with the winner getting the #1 slot in the Casino Women’s gauntlet at Maximum Carnage. The winner of that gauntlet gets an AEW Women’s Title shot in Australia in February. Gee, I wonder who is going to win lol. We’ll also hear from MJF, Double J Jeff Jarrett, and we’re bound to get more Jon Moxley and the Big Wheelers shenanigans.
So, how are you all tonight? Hopefully everyone is okay out in Los Angeles with the wildfires, and for the people who are in the midst of unofficial Winter Storm Blair. My 💚 goes out to you all.
Tonight, we are LIVE from Clarksville, Tennessee! Our announcers are Excalibur, Daddy Magic Matt Menard, and Ian Riccaboni!
Yo, we’re wasting NO time and getting right into the action!
Will Ospreay vs. Buddy Matthews
This should slap, I expect nothing less! The bell rings and the OSPREAY chants have already begun! It is nice to see how Will has healed up so quickly.
Tie-up, Buddy controls the arm. Will counters, but Buddy with a headlock. Shove up, shoulder tackle, Ospreay kips up. They try again, a collision first, then Matthews knocks down Ospreay. Counters ensue, cutter is blocked, pump handle countered, kick buffet missed! Stand off! The fans appreciate it! LET’S GO BUDDY, LET’S GO OSPREAY! Matthews takes Ospreay to the corner, feigns the clean break, but he chops Will. Ospreay doesn’t take nicely to that and puts Matthews on the apron. Ospreay out, Matthews in, drop kick/ Ospreay back in with the step-up tiaras. Ospreay with a slingshot plancha to Buddy on the floor. Back in the ring, Matthews with a kick, a stomp, and double knees, cover for a two count. Matthews with the chin lock now. Ospreay up, runs the ropes, both men miss clotheslines, SMASH right in the middle of the ring!
Both men up, Ospreay deals hands, off the ropes, spin kick to the head! Ospreay and onto the apron, from the top rope, springboard elbow! Cover for a two count, as Matthews throws Will off. Matthews catches Will with an elbow, but HE gets caught. Cheeky Nanos doesn’t go, as Matthews kicks Ospreay in the head and sends him to the floor. Matthews off the ropes, over the ropes, front flip senton! Back in, Matthews to the top, METEORA! Cover for a two count! Ospreay on the apron, here comes Matthews. Pump handle, but Will fights it off. They trade kicks, Ospreay tries the Oscutter, but Matthews launches Will off the apron face first off, the announce table. Matthews is channeling his inner Bordy King, hits a running splash on Ospreay as he’s against the barricade. Matthews in, back outside, tries it again, but Ospreay gets the boots up. OSCUTTER on the floor! Will back in as Referee Rick “I miss the Young Bucks” Knox counts Matthews. Buddy on the apron, Will catches him with a drop kick! OSCUTTER again in the middle of the ring, the cover, Buddy’s out at two! Off comes the elbow pad, Hidden Blade ducked. Matthews with a knee, but Ospreay counters with a clothesline. Ospreay with some Kawada kicks to the nose of Matthews. Ospreay drops Matthews to his knees, but he’s back up. Kick combination, but Ospreay off Matthews, enziguri. Another Oscutter is intercepted! Reverse GTS by Matthews! STOMP by Buddy, Will out at 2.8! Will lures Buddy in, STYLES CLASH, BUT IT’S NOT THE END! HIDDEN BLADE, AND THAT’LL DO IT!
WINNER: Will Ospreay
TIME: 12:40
THOUGHTS: Yo, just a great match with two great wrestlers to open the show, hopefully the rest of the matches can step up to that!
RATING: ****
Ospreay on the mic. Give it up for Buddy Murphy…WHOOPS, Matthews! Will has wrestled Brody King and now Buddy, and he knows they don’t need a leader. Tonight, he went with one of the best in the world, and he sees tag gold, or singles gold in Buddy’s future. If you ever need anyone in your corner, Buddy, I’m your guy!
Okay, not I’M NOT YOUR BUDDY, PAL, but that’s cool.
We get highlights from Wrestle Dynasty this past weekend. If you didn’t see it, you must, it was an amazing show.
OH MY GOD, IS THAT PRIVATE PARTY???
Well, yes, it is, as Zay and Quen are here! Teneessee! What’s good? Last Saturday, Private Party made history, they were in the first tag team match featured on Collision and Max! They went to Charlotte tag team champions, and they left as tag team champions! That means we celebrate!
But, no, the Hurt Syndicate don’t agree with that! MVP says they like a party, they want to join in. Let’s raise a toast to Private Party! MVP wants to propose a toast to these talented athletes, who defended the tag team titles. Lashley says here is to the Hurt Syndicate…
Taking them tag team titles. The Syndicate make their way down to the ring for Bobby’s match.
Bobby Lashley vs. Mark Briscoe
MVP and Shelton go to ringside, as Lashley takes Briscoe to the corner to open. he pats Mark on the head. LOL! Briscoe rolls underneath Lashley, he hits some chops, but he runs into a Flatliner from Lashley. Another one. Lashley with an overhead suplex. Corner shoulder tackle into a neck breaker by Lashley. Bobby has Mark up, spiral slam. Cover for a two count. Briscoe cuts off Lashley with REDNECK KUNG-FU! Briscoe up top, Lashley catches him, and throws him across the ring. On the floor, Lashley with a head of steam, flattens Briscoe in front of the announce desk! Another overhead suplex! PIP TIME!
PIP thoughts:
-Collision, live on TNT and Max!
-Common Side Effects? Oh good, I love conspiracy theories!
-It really is a bitch move by Flo to tell this family AFTER the fact that they saved money with Progressive. Imagine how much of that stuff they could have kept!
-You can have Chris and Jason, I’ll team with Keke, especially in that mini skirt. 😉
-Lexus is Toyota, Sorrynotsorry.
-Oh, come on, who doesn’t LOVE stinky smelly pet feet!
-Would I slide down a snowy mountain, losing clothes, to eat Cheez-Its? Yes, Yes, I would.
-Wendy’s with a revamp of the five-dollar deal! Nice!
-Impractical DORKS!
We’re back, as Briscoe is finally starting to fight back. It doesn’t last, as Lashley cuts off his offense with a cross chop and a headbutt, sending Mark to the arena floor. Lashley outside, goes under the ring, but he’s hit with a chair! Mark puts the chair in the ring, senton splash off the chair to the outside. Lashley is mad! He has Briscoe up, but Mark rips his nose and eyes to get away. Mark shoves Bobby into the ring post. Briscoe to the apron, up top, senton to the floor! MVP has lost his mind! LOL! Back in the ring, sliding clothesline by Briscoe. Mark up top again, FROGGY BOW! The cover, but Lashley emphatically kicks out at one! Briscoe charges, rungs into a Lashley boot. SPEAR by Lashley! Lashley with the standing slam! Hurt Lock is on now. Briscoe taps out.
WINNER: Bobby Lashley
TIME: 9:10
THOUGHTS: Hope spots would ensue for Mark Briscoe, but we ALL know who was winning this match.
RATING: ***
Post-match, the Syndicate descends upon Briscoe, until Private Party hit the ring with chairs in hand. The Syndicate back up and leave the ring, as they check on Briscoe.
The Casino Gauntlet match is next, after some…
COMMERCIALS!
We’re back, as Jay White, who earned the #1 spot in this Casino Gauntlet, makes his way out!
Casino Gauntlet Match for a shot at the AEW World Title at Maximum Carnage
Oh, well deary me, look who is #2! Hangman Page! Say it isn’t so! This might not last to #3 LOL!
I’m surprised these two haven’t attacked each other as the bell rings. Rather, they are talking. A lot. FIGHT! LET’S GO! Chops ensue, Page with fists now. Page answers with chops, but Hangman shoulder tackles White. A cover for two. Page has White up, but he wiggles out. White, though, jumps into a Fallaway Slam, but White with a rollup for two. Buckshot Lariat attempt is countered with a Bladerunner, Page counters with Dead eye, but White fights out. Both men to the top, White with a Superplex!
#3 is coming out, and it’s Wheeler Yuta…with Claudio’s theme song? TRAVESTY! He doesn’t deserve that lol! In the ring, Yuta walks into a Blade Runner! The cover, but Page breaks it up! Page catches White off the ropes, hits the Fallaway Slam. White with a corner clothesline to White. Whip to the other corner, rinse and repeat. Third time is not the charm, as White alludes Page. Page snaps White’s face off the apron. To the corner, the clothesline, but White moves and Page strikes Yuta. He eventually does get White lol.
Swerve Strickland…wait no, it’s Ricochet at #4. Swerve, indeed, LMAO! Yuta tries to sneak in on Page, but he throws Yuta to the floor. Ricochet enters with a springboard clothesline to Page. He hits a senton splash to the floor on White. Back in, Ricochet hits Page with a neck breaker, cover for a two.
PIP thoughts!
-WNBA? More access? Yes, please!
-You can’t have too many Tina Fey’s…well, except for the Sasquatch Tina lol.
-Truly Hard Seltzer is not hard, bruv.
-Advil liquid gels? Damn my liver, I eat them like candies.
-Weather Tech, mats for all seasons!
-Lexus is Toyota II.
-LOVE THAT CHICKEN FROM POPEYE’S! -Toots my pipe-
-A bus full of Pop Tarts? Hell yeah!
-Has anyone every used Ancestory.com? Curious as to whether it works or not.
-Friday Night is a Vibe!
We’re back, as we seem to have some kind of an alliance between Yuta and Ricochet. #5 is here, and it’s Adam Cole (BAYBAY!). Cole goes right after White, but Page gets knocked out trying to cut in. Cole drops Yuta with a superkick, and hits Ricochet with one as he springboards in. Time to pose! Cole to the corner, looking for the Panama Sunrise! He hits Ricochet with it! Kick out at 2.5!
#6 is here, and it’s the TNT Champion Daniel Garcia! Garcia and Cole trade in the middle of the ring. Fake out by Cole, kick to the shin, but Garcia with a swinging neck breaker! Mounted punches, but here comes White. Page is here now. Garcia stacks them all up and hits mounted punches! LMAO!
Ian: Is that why you didn’t wear a shirt tonight, Matt?
Matt: You know me so well, Ian!
It’s because it makes Daddy Magic’s nipples hard! Ricochet and Yuta double team Garcia and throw him out of the ring.
#7 is here, and it’s Powerhouse Hobbs! Yuta looks like he just dumped in his nappy of fear, as Hobbs throws Ricochet out of the ring and on to Page! Hobbs proceeds to throw Yuta, Cole, and Garcia around. Page’s turn, but Hobbs grabs him and throws him out of the ring! More PIP time!
PIP Thoughts:
-Hey, did you know that all AEW events are also on Max as well? I was just born on the first, I had no idea!
-Salute to all of our service men and women!
-Grilled spicy chicken? I’m only kind of interested. Chick-Fil-A.
-Aw, Lexus, that one was good! But, still, you’re Toyota. Bruv.
-Super Beets! Live forever! Maybe.
-Cooper fit has menthol in it. I, uh, okay? Could that maybe lead to people trying to eat that?
-This guy is a complete dick. End of story.
-Delsym gives you 12 hours of cough relief!
-Same Pop Tarts commercial from before, but I like it!
We’re back, as Ricochet tries to square up to Hobbs. It goes about as well as you would expect. White tries now, but Hobbs with a scoop slam. MEAT chants now! White does outsmart Hobbs with a drop toe hold into the bottom rope on Hobbs.
Roddy Strong is out now at #8. Backbreakers for everyone! He trades hands with Ricochet. Cole and Garcia are back in, as they team up on Ricky. TRIPLE STOMP ON RICKY IN THE CORNER! FOR THE LOVE OF GAWD, HE HAS A FAMILY! Hobbs back up, he wrecks house, but Page takes him out. Ricochet with a springboard back elbow to Page, White looking for Bladerunner, but Yuta with a low blow!
Lance Archer is #9! He grabs Yuta and hits a chokeslam on the apron! He hits a chokeslam on White in the ring. He takes out Cole and Strong. Archer buries Garcia. He catches and throws Ricochet away. Here comes Hobbs, though. Hobbs throws Ricky back at Archer. LOL! Archer now with a Beal to Ricky! LMAO! Powerslam by Hobbs, but Archer is up! Chokeslam by Archer, but Hobbs is up! No selling, the game!
Kyle O’Reilly is out at #10! Kyle whips out Yuta on the floor. He hits the dragon screw on Archer in the ropes. Strong and O’Reilly team up to take out Garcia and Page. Cole with the neck breaker on Page, PK by Kyle. Hobbs in, he fights off the UK, but Garcia in with a sleeper to Hobbs. Superkick and lariat combo to Hobbs!
Jeff Jarrett is #11! AIN’T HE GREAT, SLAPNUTS! Wheeler doesn’t feel that way, as Yuta hits him from behind and fights him up the ramp. In the ring, Hobbs runs through all three members of the UK. Archer is back; MEAT ensues. Archer looking for the Blackout, but Hobbs wiggles free. He throws Archer out of the ring, but Kyle with a chop block to Hobbs! HOBBS HITS KYLE WITH A SPINEBUSTER, AND THAT’S IT!
WINNER: Powerhouse Hobbs
TIME: 25:50
THOUGHTS: Color me surprise that Hobbs won this match, and it felt like it was out of nowhere. Good for him, though, he’s been through a lot to get back here. I like this kind of match more so than the traditional battle royal, for sure.
RATING: ***1/4
Post match, Renee Paquette is in the ring. She states the obvious, Hobbs says that Jon brought him to AEW, but next week, he is going to shock the world and make Moxley his bitch. He leaves, as Jarrett comes back out. He shakes hands with Hobbs.
Video package for the Christian Cage and HOOK angle.
Ian is in the ring now with Jarrett. He puts Jeff and his family over and asks how he is feeling. Ian, it’s 2025, and Jeff has to ask if he still has what it takes to climb that mountain.
MJF is here! Cut my music, cut my music! MJF in the ring, face to face with Jarrett. He calls Ian a bible thumping prick and tells him to leave his ring. Jeffrey, you haven’t met MJF yet. My name is Maxwell Jacob Friedman…MJF! He wants his Triple B back, but the world title is a tough scene. Moxley has the belt, Hobbs has a shot thanks to Jarrett failing. There is Page, Cage, and Cope. but one man can do this. One man who has beaten the icons, a 35-year veteran, a man who’s beaten Hall-of-Famers, Jeff Jarrett! MJF had to google that because he’s not a dinosaur. LMAO! He knows Jarrett wants to be World Champion, but considering what he said last week, the clock is ticking. But apparently, Jarrett hasn’t been completely honest with everyone. The contract he signed is for just one year. And that is embarrassing because he doesn’t want to retire yet, but that is all professional wrestling thinks he has left. He’s not here to piss up Double J, but he is here to help him. YOU STILL GOT IT chant. One year to prove that he can make it back to the top of the mountain. MJF can help him, but without his help, he cannot win a match. All he asks is one tiny favor: when Jarrett helps him procure his Triple B, he wants the first title shot. MJF does the Double J schtick and asks if he wants to make a deal with “Little Ole Me”?
Jarrett on the mic. You were AEW Champion, and the longest reigning champion. But he is too young to learn life lessons like getting back to the top. You know what we call kids like you around here? One hit wonder. He knows the run he has to go down. ONE HIT WONDER chants as Jarrett jokes about making it into a shirt. Jarrett is comfortable at rock bottom because he knows what it is like to be there. But it gives him the opportunity to crawl, to scratch, to get back to the top. You had the chance to enter the Casino Gauntlet, but he chose to scheme and connive. Jarrett is looking for title #13 in 2025. Hell no, Jarrett doesn’t need him, and he isn’t buying what he is selling. He calls MJF an entitled prick and leaves.
Coming up next. COPE (Just Cope) after…
COMMERCIALS!!!
We’re back, as we go back to New Year’s Smash, where Jon and the Big Wheeler’s procced to kill Darby Allin. Darby once again is ded. I repeat, Darby is once more, ded.
But never mind that, here comes COPE…JUST COPE!
Cope on the mic, as he wants for Excalibur to shut the hell up. Jon… Moxley! While he was gone, you took out Bryan Danielson. They killed Darby ded, we haven’t seen him since. But the sin you can’t repent is going after FTR. They are close friends, so that was a massive mistake. You say guys like White, Page, and Orange Cassidy don’t have the grind to be World Champion. No one, and I repeat NO ONE, has fought through what I fought through to be here. And I will die on that hill. He is a different animal. He broke his neck in a match with Eddie Guererro. He got up, wrestled 20 more minutes, and he won that match. He fought Malakai Black in a steel cage match and broke his leg. You know what he did? HE GOT UP! He wrestled ten more minutes and won that match.
(but should he have?)
He knows Moxley is one of the toughest bastards in this ring, but what can he do that hasn’t been done to him before?
We might find out soon, because here comes Jon Moxley, with Claudio and Wheeler. Jon stops at the guard rail, but they are attacked from behind by FTR! Moxley and Cope in the ring, big boot by Cope! Marina Shafir on the apron, but here is PAC! He’s back from holiday! He hits Cope with the briefcase, as Moxley puts on the bulldog choke. Moxley has the bag, but here comes Hobbs! Oddly enough, the Big Wheelers retreat.
Still to come, the Dynamite return of Kenny Omega and the women’s 3-way match!
COMMERCIALS!!!
Mariah May is here! Make history by dancing for her like the marionettes that they are. Harley Cameron is here! Give them an appetizer, this Saturday on Collision, non-title match. Harley mumbles feel the wrath before she screams it at Mariah and then leaves. Hottest segment of the year, calling it now. 1,000/10.
That young rookie Toni Storm is here for the 3-way match!
3-Way match for the #1 spot next week in the Casino Gauntlet: Toni Storm vs. Kris Statlander vs. Willow Nightingale
Ian rapping during the entrance makes me realize that he isn’t cool enough to be a Philly Phan. Willow fights off Storm with a spinebuster after Storm knocks Kris from the ring. Kris back in, misses the standing splash. Kris and Willow trade back slide pins. Willow with a headlock on Kris. Kris shoves her off, but Willow with a shoulder tackle. Toni back in, but she gets thrown out by Willow. Statlander runs over Nightingale, as Storm tries to get back in, but Kris is having none of it. Here comes Toni again, as she hits a crossbody from the top onto both Kris and Willow. Willow catapults Storm’s face into the crotch of Statlander. That was amazing LOL!
PIP Thoughts:
-ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED BY BITCHY, WHINNY OLD NBA HAS-BEENS?
-Wegovy…look, we have a shortage of this shit because people see these commercials and use it only for weight loss. That’s not what this was developed for.
-Progressive dominating insurance ads tonight, but what is the economy?
-Wendy’s is back with the two for seven dollars! NGL, that is pretty interesting.
-Dots, not dipping, but pretzel dots!
-Friday is a Vibe, in case you forgot!
We’re back, as every woman fights every woman! Storm tries another crossbody to Kris and Willow, but they hit a double team Fallaway Slam on Storm. Storm back up, she shoves Statlander into Nightingale. Storm ducks and Kris strikes Willow. Kris with kicks to both Storm and Willow, but Willow with a clothesline to Kris! A-E-DUB chants. Statlander with a back body drop to Storm. To the corner, clothesline by Kris. She tries again, but a POUNCE by Willow! Toni is spent arse first into Kris in the corner. CANNONBALL by Willow on both ladies! Death Valley Driver by Willow, Storm kicks out at two. Doctor Bomb countered with a jaw breaker, German by Kris, lariat by Willow to Kris. WILLOW HITS A GERMAN ON KRIS WHO HIT A GERMAN ON STORM! Like the Russian nesting dolls of violence lol. Storm with a roll up on Willow, but Kris breaks the pin up. Willow sent to the floor, STATURDAY NIGHT FEVER BY KRIS TO TONI, THAT’S GAME!
WINNER: Kris Statlander
TIME: 9:50
THOUGHTS: Surprised that Toni did not win this match, doesn’t mean that she won’t win the match itself next week and go to her home country to face Mariah again. As for this match, it was pretty good. I wish this match got some of that Casino Gauntlet time, but they packed a lot into their ten minutes.
RATING: ***1/2
The Cleaner Kenny Omega is back after…
COMMERCIALS!
We’re back, as Renee has Toni in the back. Clearly, she is not just ready. It was an honor to be in there with Willow and Kris, but she is going to continue to work hard. It can’t be Toni Time all the time.
KENNY chants start as the lights go out. Across the galaxy and passing stars, across the universe…OMEGA!
Well, can’t say that intro isn’t awesome, because it is! Justin Roberts welcomes Kenny back as Omega makes his way to the ring. Crazy that I am typing the name KENNY OMEGA in a recap/review, but here we are!
The KENNY chants continue has he grabs a mic. WELCOME BACK! This isn’t making it any easier but thank you. It was a little over a year ago, he checked himself into hospital and told that he had diverticulitis. It took two feet of spleen from him, and if he hadn’t checked in when he did, the doctor said he could have died. Upon successful surgery, he had two questions. Doc, how long will recovery be, and when is it that he can get back in the ring? The doc said you will be lucky if you return to a normal way of life, let alone to the Kenny Omega you were. As a professional wrestler, you push too hard, and he had to go back to the hopistal four more times. Can he still do this? There was a moment in time where giving up was the safest option. When he considered that option, what purpose does he have on this planet if he didn’t have the fans with him? A couple of days ago, he tested that theory in Tokyo. and again tonight. If he doesn’t give it everything that he has, he is not living. He may not be the same guy and do the same things he used to, but this Kenny isn’t concerned about money, about pride, this version of Kenny…
But here comes Don Callis to interrupt. Well look who’s back from the dead…
But Callis runs off as Omega chases him. He lands some shots on Don, before Brian Cage and Lance Archer ambush him. Here is Kyle Fletcher now. He punches Omega while Archer holds him. Cage with a shot to the abdomen. Will Ospreay is here! He has a chair, hits Cage with it on the ramp! In the ring, the Family scatters like cockroaches. Ospreay eyes up Omega, he drops the chair. HOLY SHIT chant. They have a stare down, as Kenny’s music plays.
We get a look at next week’s Dynamite, Maximum Carnage! We’re getting Hobbs and Moxley for the AEW Title, plus Christian and HOOK will finally face off! The Women’s Gauntlet is on tap, and so is Kenny Omega and Brian Cage!
Ospreay leaves the ring and stares back at Omega. it looks like Kenny was going to cut a post-show promo, but it kind of caught some if it lol.
And with that we are done!
