Cook’s Smackdown Live Review 1.8.19

Cook’s WWE SmackDown Live Review 1.8.19

OFFICIAL RESULTS
-WWE Champion Daniel Bryan beats R-Truth (**)
-Andrade “Cien” Almas & Samoa Joe beat Rey Mysterio & Mustafa Ali (***)
-WWE SmackDown Tag Team Champions The Bar beat The Usos (***)
-Triple Threat Match: Becky Lynch beat Carmella & Charlotte Flair (***1/2)

-Hello friends, I’m back one more time to fill in for the Good Brother Larry Csonka. We’re all hoping he’ll be back on the beat ASAP, as there’s nobody that can replace him in our hearts & minds. Send him some good thoughts tonight.

-Daniel Bryan is out by the Jacksonville concession stand to lecture us on our choices in arena food. As a person that’s worked in sports service, I can’t say I support this. He compares AJ Styles to a hot dog. Then he goes on about the high fructose corn syrup. He’s not showing these indy guys trying to enjoy some food any mercy. He moves on to the merchandise stand and notes that there are no Yes Movement t-shirts, as it is dead. There are lots of AJ Styles t-shirts & gloves for needless consumption. Bryan makes his way into the arena and says he’s changing the world. Like some other people in Jacksonville today! R-Truth is tired of listening to Bryan’s promo and attacks him once he climbs over the barricade! That was the best monologue you’ll hear on television tonight. Yes, that was a shot at a ridiculous speech from a politician scheduled for tonight. Deal with it.

–The New Daniel Bryan vs. R-Truth: This stems from Bryan attacking Truthy Claus during the Christmas edition of SD Live, spoiling the holiday for everybody. Bryan insists that Truth is the problem as he slaps him around. Vertical suplex into a stunner by R-Truth gets a near-fall. Very innovative. The running knee from D-Bry gets the victory. Nice little sprint while it lasted. R-Truth got to show a little bit, but Bryan is the champion & dominated the man as such. (**)

–AJ Styles attacks Bryan on the stage! He’s a man possessed, just as Mr. McMahon was hoping for when he goaded him a couple of weeks ago.

–Rey Mysterio & Mustafa Ali vs. Samoa Joe & Andrade “Cien” Almas: Ali gonna start against Joe, which is noble on Ali’s part. Ali does get some offense, and a double dropkick with Rey takes Joe down. Joe tags in Almas to hook up that lucha dream match action. Joe gets some of Rey briefly, but Rey eventually makes the tag to Ali. Nice forward roll into a face-buster by Ali for two. Joe tags in & I’m not sure anybody was aware of it until Joe did a fallaway slam on Ali onto the announce table. Commercial. OK. Earlier, we saw these wrestlers make their entrances during a commercial. Now that there’s actually a match going on, we get the elongated commercial with no access to the action. What sense does that make? Once we finally come back, Ali makes a move on Almas to get the double knock-down, and Rey tags in to do his big moves to Almas. Joe comes in & gets some of the same. Well, Rey rolls out a Canadian Destroyer on Almas, so it’s not the typical hot tag offense. 619 to Joe, Ali goes up top and does the 450! Ali takes out Joe on the outside, but Almas counters the 619 to hit a gutbuster, and then the hammerlock DDT gets Almas & Joe the victory! There was a chunk of that match we missed, but what we saw was pretty good. Rey pulling out some crazy stuff here & putting over the youngster…gotta give the GMOAT some credit. (***)

–Carmella talks about how she’s seen as the third wheel in their match tonight. Charlotte learned how to use a kendo stick, and Becky Lynch learned how to have a personality. She points out that opportunity is all she’s ever needed. Mella is money.

–The Usos welcome The Bar to the Uso Penitentiary.

–The Miz is outraged that the Usos would have another chance to get a Tag Team title shot. Shane McMahon says they’re far away from consideration. Miz wants to take a shortcut, but Shane says they need to work for it. Miz suggests white leather & Shane walks off.

–RUSEV DAY: Rusev is in the ring, and is upset that Lana got hurt last week due to the actions of Shinsuke Nakamura. He’s not worried about his championship or his body, he’s standing before us as a husband. Shinsuke can mess with him all he wants, but when he messes with Rusev’s wife, he crosses a line. He will break every bone in Shinsuke’s fragile body & crush him. Shinsuke Nakamura is back in the TV truck to prove that Lana getting hurt was Rusev’s fault. We see the replay of Rusev hitting a Machka Kick on Shinsuke while Lana was on Shinsuke’s back. Shinsuke says that Rusev crushed Lana. Rusev comes backstage to Shinsuke, and Shinsuke is ready with some crates. Jamie Noble & Adam Pearce do a poor job of keeping Shinsuke from landing blows on Rusev.

–Becky Lynch takes credit for making the SD women’s divison & says that Asuka is on borrowed time until the man comes around.

–If The Usos Win, They Get A Title Shot: SmackDown Tag Team Champions The Bar vs. The Usos: Sheamus & Cesaro make their entrance, we go to commercial, and then we go to the Mean Gene Okerlund video package from last night. That’s tough for any team to work through, even the champs. Sheamus struggles early on, obviously unsettled. The Usos dominate early no matter who’s in there for the Bar. Sheamus does land a big blow before the commercial. Am I correct in assuming that this whole Mandy Rose/Naomi feud is around to help build Temptation Island? Jey goes through a beating, but Jimmy tags in and things change. Flying Usos! Cesaro kicked out of that cross body WITH AUTHORITY. SUPERKICK to Sheamus gets a 2, and we can watch during this commercial The Bar got a near-fall on Sheamus’s knees on the attempted splash. Also got one on a Cesaro uppercut in the corner. We return to SWING TIME into a Sharpshooter! Jey breaks it in the ropes. Damn these guys are working hard. Sheamus going for that Finlay roll from the ropes, but that’s all broken up. Jimmy’s finally up in the corner and ready to go, but he needs a tag. Well, hold on. Mandy Rose is on the stage & needs help from Jimmy. She’s making some accusations, and Cesaro hits a Neutralizer to win the match for the Bar. Put the Usos, Bar or New Day together in some kind of match every week and I’m here for it. The finish was something out of EWR, but the action was good. (***)

-Before we can take that all in, The Miz comes out. He congratulates The Bar for dominating all the other SD tag teams, and challenges them to a match at the Royal Rumble. Cesaro considers it for a moment, then asks to consult with his tag team partner. Sheamus Brogue Kicks Miz, and accepts.

–Naomi attacks Mandy backstage as she damn well should. Sonya Deville helps Mandy get the upper hand before Jimmy intervenes. Nice job, bro.

–Charlotte Flair points out how Carmella was the hottest thing last year, & Becky is the hottest thing this year, while she was the hottest thing for the last four years. They should prepare to be humbled by the Queen.

–Dasha Fuentes attempts to interview The New Daniel Bryan and that goes as well as you’d expect. Bryan doesn’t care why Styles attacked him. People have not seen what he’s capable of, but they’ll see it at the Royal Rumble. He’s fighting for a cause bigger than anything AJ’s ever seen, and he’ll be WWE Champion forever. Bruno Sammartino’s record might be in jeopardy!

-NXT people are coming!

-Miz & Shane talk backstage, & Miz talks Shane into thinking they can beat the Bar at the Royal Rumble. I’m sure this will end well.

–Triple Threat Match To Wrestle Asuka at the Royal Rumble: Becky Lynch vs. Carmella vs. Charlotte Flair: Carmella tries to use Becky & Charlotte against each other early, and it probably won’t be the last time. Becky takes her opponents out on the floor heading to commercial. Charlotte takes the classic Flair bump off the top onto Carmella when we come back. Some back & forth between Becky & Charlotte before Carmella intervenes. The Code of Silence doesn’t work on Charlotte. Flairs can never keep quiet. Charlotte wipes both Becky & Carmella out in the corner, then yells at Conrad Thompson at ringside. (I don’t know if it was Conrad or not, I’m just making a joke. Please don’t hate me, Bruce fans) The moonsault gets a two count on both women. We get a commercial, then a nearfall for Carmella. Charlotte wipes out with the moonsault on the floor, then Becky becksplodes Carmella on that aformentioned floor. I was yelling at Charles Robinson to make a count when they were all selling, and he did because he’s a damn professional. Charlotte gets the Figure 8 on Carmella, but Becky splashes it. A Disarmer is broken up by Carmella. This eventually leads to Becky locking in the Disarmer & Carmella tapping. Gonna be Asuka vs. Becky at the Rumble. I gotta admit that I was hoping for Carmella to win to get the title shot & the 30 slot in the Rumble. What can I say, she’s good people. As you would expect, a solid effort from everybody around. Some would say that the right person won the match this time…I’m not one of those people because everything worked out, but the “some” will certainly be happy! (***1/2)

–Asuka makes her entrance to do the staredown with Becky. Lots of smack talk going on here.

-End scene.

-Thanks for reading.

#WeSupportToni

7.5

The final score: review Good

The 411

Pretty solid episode from the SD Live gang this week, as you would expect. All the matches delivered on the level you would expect. There weren’t any terribad promos, even if I disagreed with Bryan’s content. There was nothing that was absolutely must-see television, but there was also nothing that you wouldn’t feel bad about yourself for watching. We’re setting the table for the Royal Rumble.