Csonka’s Impact Wrestling Review 3.23.17

Csonka’s TNA Impact Review 3.23.17

OFFICIAL RESULTS
– The Lone Wolf Davey Richards defeated Suicide @ 6:16 via pin [**¾]
– Laredo Kid, Garza Jr., and Shera defeated Idris Abraham, Fallah Bahh, and Mario Bokara @ 5:21 via pin [**½]
– Reno Scum defeated Decay @ 6:55 via pin [**½]
– LAX defeated DCC @ 11:10 via pin [**½]
– ODB defeated Rebel @ 4:00 via pin [DUD]
– Non-Title Match: Champion Lashley defeated Jake Holmes @ 1:58 via pin [NR]

---

– In memoriam of Jan Ross.

The Lone Wolf Davey Richards vs. Suicide: Love and Richards are now going by “The Natural Born Killers,” complete with new entrance video and music; Richards is also wearing trunks now. They worked a fun back and forth, with Suicide sending Richards to the floor and following with a plancha. Back in and the shotgun dropkick followed. Richards fought back, sent Suicide to the floor and followed with the running boot. Richards takes a break to make out with Love, which allows Suicide to fight back and then hit the suicide dive. Suicide up top, and hits the high cross for 2. The Finlay roll and lionsault followed and Suicide covered for 2. The Saito suplex by Richards cut off Suicide, but suicide avoided the double stomp and kept fighting back. Creeping death connects for Richards and he picks up the win. The Lone Wolf Davey Richards defeated Suicide @ 6:16 via pin [**¾] Pretty good opening match, it was fun and had a good flow throughout, without feeling rushed. One criticism is that Suicide got in a bit too much against Richards, who is working to reestablish himself as a singles with a new persona; you shouldn’t be going 50/50 with low card guys in that situation.

– We get some video from the LAX clubhouse, I wonder if they’re subletting from Aces & Eights. Konnan is back for violence and wants Angel Ortiz & Mike Draztik to bring them to LAX.

– LAUREL IS STILL IN HER WEDDING DRESS AND SLOPPY DRUNK! She goes on a glorious rant against everyone, and Sienna arrives to remind her that Allie and Sutter are to blame. Sienna says she has a plan.

Laredo Kid, Garza Jr., and Shera vs. Idris Abraham, Fallah Bahh, and Mario Bokara: Garza and Idris in to begin, fast paced open and then we got tags to Bokora and Laredo Kid, they kept the pacing lively and then Bahh tagged in and would have none of this flippy boy shit, wiping out Laredo Kid with a running cross body for 2. The new guys controlled, working the heat for a bit and ten Shera got the hot tag. Shera actually worked a good hot tag, they fed him well and he had a good energy; Shera hits the sky high on Bokara as Garza and Laredo Kid hit moonsaults to the floor. Laredo Kid, Garza Jr., and Shera defeated Idris Abraham, Fallah Bahh, and Mario Bokara @ 5:21 via pin [**½] I liked this, it wasn’t great but they made good use of their time and I felt that everyone played their roles well. Laredo Kid & Garza Jr. continues their momentum from last week, Shera looked good (but will get absolutely no credit from some) and so did the new guys. This was pretty much what it should have been for its position on the card; energetic and fun.

– We have a limo in the back; “she” is here.

Reno Scum (Luster The Legend and Adam Thornstowe) vs. Decay: Steve and Thornstowe stared off, Thornstowe controlled and hit a standing moonsault for the near fall. Luster and Abyss went face to face, thy traded strikes and head butts center ring. Luster took control, and Abyss ran and tagged out to Steve. Rosemary distracted Thornstowe, allowing Decay to take control. Decay worked the heat on Thornstowe until Steve missed the cannonball. Luster got the hot tag, worked over Steve and hit the muscle buster. Abyss made the save, he and Luster hoss brawled on the floor; Rosemary accidentally misted Steve and then got tossed to the floor into Abyss. Reno Scum hit the double team double stomp to pick up the big win. Reno Scum defeated Decay @ 6:55 via pin [**½] Rock solid tag match here, with the goal being to keep up the momentum of Reno Scum by giving them a win over an established team. Decay ended up costing themselves the match as their own shenanigans backfired on them and Reno Scum took advantage of their mistake.

– Fury arrives on April 6th.

– Backstage, Cody and Brandi come out of the limo and heads into the arena. As Moose looks to make his entrance, Cody attacks him with a chair and hits cross Rhodes on the ramp.

– Moose tries to go to the ring for his title defense, but officials take him to the back to receive medical attention.

– Borash and Mathews argue as Borash says “she” will be here soon.

– Impact Grand Championship Match: Champion Moose vs. Eli Drake = Canceled.

– Konnan cuts a promo, saying that LAX is back and coming for the tag team titles. LAX is here to take it to the streets.

DCC (James Storm & Bram) w/Kingstonvs. LAX ([Angel] Ortiz & Santana [Mike Draztik]) w/Konnan, Homicide & Diamante: Storm and Santana to begin, but Ortiz rushes in and LAX double teams Storm. LAX runs wild early, pulling Storm to the floor and he receives a beat down at ringside. They go to the break. Post break, LAX is still in control until Storm fires back with a clothesline. Tag to Bram but the ref didn’t see it. Storm hits the back stabber, but Kingston distracted the ref and he didn’t see that tag. LAX continues the heat, but Storm slowly tries to fight back and finally gets the tag to Bram, good hot tag as he runs wild and hits a pop up powerbomb and Storm tags himself back in and he’s a one man wrecking crew, taking out both LAX members for a near fall. Lung blower by Storm, sets for the superkick, but Ortiz distracts him; Kingston then accidentally causes Storm to lose. LAX defeated DCC @ 11:10 via pin [**½] Good follow up victory after LAX’s debut. Storm was clearly positioned as the babyface here, which played well as this appeared to be the end (thankfully) of the DCC, who have been a failure. Solid match here, LAX gets the needed win and Storm will be much better off on his own going forward.

– DCC argues post match, Storm is pissed at Kingston for ruining the match. They argue and Storm says he started all of this and then bails.

– We get a sit down interview with Bruce Prichard talking with Lashley. Lashley says he’s been a combat athlete his entire life and breaks down his accolades. We’ll get more of this later, but what we got so far was good and Lashley came off like a star.

– Moose vs. Cody will take place next week, and the impact Grand Championship will be on the line.

BREAKING: NEXT WEEK on IMPACT- @CodyRhodes VS @MooseNation69 for the #GrandChampionship#MakeImpactGreat pic.twitter.com/d5DYKDRcZ4

— IMPACT WRESTLING (@IMPACTWRESTLING) March 24, 2017

– Mackenzie interviews Sutter and Allie. Sutter won’t let anyone hurt Allie.

ODB vs. Rebel: rebel attacks before the bell, and takes ODB to the floor and beats her down. Back in the ring they go, ODB tries to fire back but Revel hits a forearm and covers for 2. Rebel hits a slam, heads up top but misses a high cross. ODB gets the flask, fires up with liquid courage and hits a series of clotheslines. The corner charge follows and then the broncobuster. ODB says she’s a classy broad, misses a charge and Rebel rolls her up for 2 and yells at the ref. Earl stops that, steals her had and kisses her and then struts around. ODB hits the fall away slam; Earl takes a drink from the flash, and ODB kisses him. Earl Flair flops; ODB hits the TKO and wins. ODB defeated Rebel @ 4:00 via pin [DUD] Absolute trash, easily the worst thing on an otherwise strong and focused show. This is not the direction I want the Knockouts going in, horribly stupid shit with the old man forcing himself on a woman and taking away their attempt at a match. The Earl Hebner dirty old man Knockouts ref gimmick has never been good or entertaining. It does nothing to advance the match, does nothing to help the match and actually takes away from it with an old man forcing himself on a younger women for laughs; it sucked and was bullshit.

– Back to the sit down interview with Bruce Prichard talking with Lashley. Lashley explains that he go injured in a bank robbery (he wasn’t robbing the bank, he was an innocent victim that almost got shot), where his knee was injured and it ruined his Olympic dream. It gave him a chip on his shoulder, because his dream was taken from him. It’s also why he’s in such great shape and can out work anyone in the ring.

Champion Lashley vs. Jake Holmes: Lashley is not amused by his “competition” and kicks the shit out of him, hits the dominator and then pulls him up before the ref can count three. Lashley continues hi sass beating, hits a delayed suplex; Holmes tries to run, but Lashley pulls him back in, spear and that’s all. Champion Lashley defeated Jake Holmes @ 1:58 via pin [NR] Lashley destroying goofs will always be entertaining.

SHE… is here.: Jeremy Borash lays down the hype and sets it up to sound like he may be talking about Dixie carter. Karen Jarrett is back. Borash acts all choked up since she’s back, Karen then discusses that her family started this company, and while the last few years have been difficult and humbling, the old Karen would have came out there and given you the answers you want, but she’s a new woman. There is a new energy backstage (we get fire Josh chants) and she says she will consider that change. She thanks the fans for their response, and says the company needs to move forward and thanks the fans and production crew. EC3 arrives and interrupts Karen. He’s excited and can feel the energy and also puts over the fans. EC3 says he is friends with the fans and names some. He then puts over the whole team on Impact wrestling and then the locker room. EC3 claims to be a locker room leader, but to make Impact great again, he feels he started doing that and beat every legend in the company, shaved some heads and became the champion as the only true talent the company ever had. He says he is her top man, and together, they can make Impact great. BUT he’s not doing it for her last name; he is doing it for his. Josh then interrupts and heads into the ring. He calls Karen the evil queen, and mocks her for putting the JV Squad (Borash) with him, the all star. He then mocks her for bringing in Prichard and Mantell, and calls Borash a stooge and mocks the fans for coming here for free since they can’t afford anything else. Josh then says his wife is a five-time Knockouts Champion and knows more than Karen will ever know. It’s only a matter of time before the Jarrett family is gone from Impact forever. Karen slaps him as Borash makes the big eyes. And that’s that. Karen got a surprisingly great reaction here, and was treated like a big star, so at least it came off well following the build to the reveal. Karen was fine, but EC3 was star of the segment with his faux enthusiasm and hard tease at the heel turn with the, “I’m not doing it for your last name, I’ll be doing this for mine.” The heel turn is really needed, especially all of his recent failings. Josh tries here, and at times hit the right notes, but I find it very difficult to care about a feud between he and Borash. Also I do not see the need for another talking head/authority figure on the show.

– End scene.

– Thanks for reading.

“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia!”

6.5

The final score: review Average

The 411

While I liked last week’s show more, I felt that this was a largely strong follow-up to that show. They worked to establish and give the newer tag teams momentum heading into next week’s tag title match; there was nothing great wrestling wise but everything was solid to pretty good, and was done with a purpose. The show also had a nice flow to it and felt easy to watch. While the reboot show did nothing for me at all, they have rebounded with two strong weeks of programming, which is all I can ask for.