Csonka’s MLW Fusion Review 11.16.18

Csonka’s MLW Fusion Review 11.09.18

OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Ricky Martinez defeated Dr. Rex Bacchus @ 2:00 via pin [NR]
– Swoggle & Joey Ryan defeated The Dirty Blondes @ 3:10 via pin [DUD]
– Chicago Street Fight: Tom Lawlor defeated Sami Callihan @ 18:30 via submission [***¼]

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– We get highlights from last week, where Low Ki tried to rip off Daga’s ear, busting open his cauliflower ear.

– This week, Salina, Low Ki, & Martinez meet with Konnan. Low Ki talks about collecting the trophies of his victims, and threatens to add Konnan to his hit list. Low Ki says they aren’t the men they once were, so he’ll give Konnan a chance to get off and challenges him to a match. Konnan says get back with him when he has something important to say. Konnan says Low Ki knows he doesn’t train and wrestle anymore and that’s the only reason he’s pulling this shit. Salina calls him a bitch and Konnan tells Low Ki to be careful what he wishes for as he may get it.

– Tom Lawlor promises to end Sami Callihan and to stick Sami’s bat up his ass.

Ricky Martinez vs. Dr. Rex Bacchus: Martinez is Salina’s henchman while Bacchus is a dirty hippie. Martinez is wearing a face guard due to a broken nose. Like a good heel he head butts Bacchus with it, follows with the skull fucker, and covers for 2. Bacchus fires back, but Martinez quickly cuts him off and hits a sitout electric chair and German. The piledriver finishes it. Ricky Martinez defeated Dr. Rex Bacchus @ 2:00 via pin [NR] A fine squash.

– Tom Lawlor preps backstage with Simon Gotch.

Swoggle & Joey Ryan vs. The Dirty Blondes (Patrick & Brien): Ryan is out in a sling, due to his torn pec. That’s pec, not pecker. Ryan explains he’s injured, but that he’s still here to perform. The Blondes attack, take out Ryan, and work over Swoggle. The Blondes work quick tags and double teams. Swoggle fights back, hits a German and tags in Ryan. Ryan fights with one arm, hits a superkick and gets cut off. Swoggle in and hits a superkick and ass attack. He’s cut off, Ryan pulls the lollipop from his pants, shoves it in the mouth of a blonde. The superkick follows and Swoggle hits the tadpole splash for the win. Swoggle & Joey Ryan defeated The Dirty Blondes @ 3:10 via pin [DUD] I greatly appreciate Ryan wanting to work hurt and make his booking, but I have no idea out of the 12 or so matches taped, why a company would opt to air this on their TV. It was bad, the Blondes looked like jokes, and this should have been for the live crowd only. Credit to the Blondes for taking care of Ryan, but it was a highly questionable decision.

– Post match, Ryan shows off how bad his arm really is, but at least he still has his dick. He’ll likely need surgery, but he’s glad to work here in Chicago.

– Sami cuts a promo about tonight’s match, making fun of the fans online who run him down. He likes to get paid and likes hurting people. He took out MVP, Havoc, & Strickland. And now, he’ll take out Lawlor, because the price is right. Sami doesn’t fear an MMA fighter, he’s only afraid of himself.

– Konnan says he will face Low Ki in Miami at Zero Hour. It’s likely a big angle and not an actual match, but the show’s open made you want to see it.

– They hype the two Miami events in December.

– Rush is coming soon.

– They try to interview Shane Strickland, who refuses to talk as he’s on his way out.

Chicago Street Fight: Tom Lawlor vs. Sami Callihan: Lawlor is in appropriate street fight gear, complete with kneepads over his jeans. Sami charges and they brawl in the entranceway to begin. Lawlor looks for a choke, but Sami uses kendo shots to escape. Lawlor now lays in kendo shots, but Sami hits him with a trashcan and then dumps it out on Lawlor. He lays the boots to Lawlor, and then slams him to the barricade and then sandwiches him between two of them. Sami puts a trashcan on his head, and hits it with kendo shots. It’s a Rubbermaid, so it’s not all that effective. Lawlor fights out and tosses the can at Sami. They brawl to ringside and Lawlor lights Sami up with kicks. Sami rakes the eyes but Lawlor fights back and lays in chair shots on Sami. He follows with a chair assisted kimura and more chair shots. Lawlor sets up chairs on the floor, they work to the apron and trade strikes. Sami rakes the eyes and hits a Cactus driver on the apron. Sami gets a table, props it against the barricade and Lawlor fights back and gets an ankle lock. Sami fights, and Lawlor now rains down with strikes. He throws a drink at Sami and lays in knee strikes. He uses a fan sign, hits Sami, but Sami fires back and whips him to the barricade. He follows with chops, rips off Lawlor’s shirt and lays in more chops and lays Lawlor on the table. Sami charges, but Lawlor cuts him off, only for Sami to DVD him through the table. Sami attacks Lawlor with the spike. He then does the Havoc paper cut spot on Lawlor’s mouth. Sami gets a VHS tape (It’s Me, Myself and Irene), breaks it open and uses the tape to choke out Lawlor. Lawlor fights out and hits a Saito suplex. Lawlor brings a table in the ring, props it in the corner, but Sami low blows him and hits the Cactus driver for 2. Sami gets his bat, and Lawlor low blows him. Lawlor fights to his feet and they trade strikes, chops, and head butts. Lawlor now hits a desperation powerbomb, Sami begs off, and Lawlor gets the bat and breaks it over his knee. The choke follows, but Sami breaks it by slamming Lawlor through the table. Lawlor grabs the choke again and stabs Sami with part of the bat and Sami taps. Tom Lawlor defeated Sami Callihan @ 18:30 via submission [***¼] This was an overall good street fight, but for me, it stayed at one level, and really lacked in drama since there were no real peaks and valleys. I loved the angle of Sami being the paid assassin of Ki to take out the top contender. This had nothing in terms of drama and violence compared to Sami’s Impact matches with Pentagon & Havoc, but came across as a satisfying finish as Lawlor overcame the roadblock of the heels… for now.

– Gotch leads Lawlor to “his press conference,” noting that he deserves this. But that Fredo motherfucker led him into a trap with Low Ki & Salina’s troops waiting on him. Gotch closes the door as we hear Lawlor taking an ass kicking. Really good angle to close the show.

– End scene.

– Thanks for reading.

“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia!”

5.0

The final score: review Not So Good

The 411

This week’s episode of MLW Fusion wasn’t a good show. The opening squash was fine, the tag match was trash, but the closing match and angle were the best parts. Skip the early stuff and watch the main event and post-match angle.