wrestling / TV Reports

Csonka’s Smackdown Review 3.21.17

March 21, 2017 | Posted by Larry Csonka
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Csonka’s Smackdown Review 3.21.17  

Csonka’s Smackdown Review 03.21.17

OFFICIAL RESULTS
Tag Team Title Match: The Usos defeated Champions American Alpha vs. The Usos @ 15:45 via pin [***¼]
– Randy Orton defeated Baron Corbin @ 12:50 via pin [**½]
– John Cena defeated Fandango @ 1:25 via pin [NR]
– Becky Lynch vs. Carmella went to a no contest @ 0:48 [NR]


– We get highlights of AJ Styles’ assault on Shane McMahon; AJ just took one out of the Orton playbook, committing a crime to get on the Mania card. Don’t judge him too harshly.

– Bryan talks with a stagehand backstage and Styles arrives to meet with Shane. Bray says if it was up to him, Styles would have still been fired, but Shane sees this as an opportunity to handle this like a man. Shane is on his way, and Styles says it felt so good last week, and will tell the world how it feels to beat up Shane McMahon.

– No Mauro Ranallo this week, they say he’s out sick.

AJ Styles Talks: Styles is out to kick off the show. He’s had seven days to think about what he did last week, and he’s not sorry for anything he did last week. It felt so good to beat down Shane last week, and it felt good to put him through a car window. So now he has an opponent for Mania, and Styles accepts Shane’s challenge. But why would a former champion and superior athlete want to be in the ring with Shane. Well, he wants to be part of the ultimate thrill ride. Without him, Smackdown crashes, like Shane through a car window. Styles says he is untouchable. He wants to meet Shane in the parking lot and put an even worse beating on him, one that is phenomenally worse. Good opening promo to follow up on last week’s angle, Styles has been really great.

– Bryan talks on the phone with Shane and warns him about AJ. Shane has a plan. Corbin arrives and wants to know if Ambrose accepted his challenge for an IC Title match at Mania. Bryan books him against Randy Orton for later tonight.

– Ron Gronkowski is in attendance.

Champions American Alpha vs. The Usos: Jordan started for the champions, using his amateur wrestling skills to control early. He quickly got cut off, Gable in and Alpha took control working double teams and grounding Jimmy. Jimmy tried to fight back, but Alpha kept control and sent the Usos to the floor. Post break, the Usos had control, working the heat on Gable. Good control by the Usos, Gable looked for the tag but Jordan was pulled to the floor and Gable was also dumped. Gable beat the count, was set up top and slammed off the post and he fell into the tree of WHOA. Jimmy misses a charge and posts himself. Hot tag to Jordan, he runs wild hitting suplexes on the Usos and scored a near fall. Steiner Bulldog countered, superkick to Gable and the top rope splash followed for a near fall. The Usos looked to attack, Jordan sent one to the floor and Gable hit a run up the ropes superplex. The Steiner bulldog followed but Jordan was pulled out and to the floor. Gable up top and hits the moonsault to the floor. Jordan speared an Uso, back in and Jordan get crotched on the rope, superkick and the Usos win! The Usos defeated Champions American Alpha vs. The Usos @ 15:45 via pin [***¼] Good match to kick off the show, with the Usos picking up a strong heel win after some great near falls. The booking of the division is still questionable, with the title change trying to make people forget weeks of non-existent and poor booking of the entire division.

– Luke Harper explains that Orton opened Pandora’s box by burning Sister Abigail, and now a new evil roams the earth. Harper promises to end Wyatt next week.

Miz & Maryse Show “Unaired Total Divas Footage”: The “Footage” is Maryse cosplaying the Bellas, and Miz playing Cena. Miz does his robot voice and punishes the sisters for breaking his roles. They tease “Cena” proposing, only not to several times.

Randy Orton vs. Baron Corbin: Corbin tried to use his power advantage early, but Orton teased an RKO, causing Corbin to bail to the floor. Back in and Corbin delivered forearms, buy Orton quickly fought back and cut him off and laid in the stomps. Orton then laid in the uppercuts in the corner, mounted rights followed and then the clotheslines. Corbin took a powder, Orton looked to follow and Corbin posted him and we took a break. Post break, Corbin had control and worked the heat. Orton fired back, but Corbin did his bossman slide to the floor and when he came back in, took down Orton. Corbin’s heat segment is really lacking, it’s not bad, but terribly band. Orton tries to fight back, and hits the snap slam. Orton got the near fall, and then Corbin fought off the draping DDT and they brawled to the floor, where Orton posted Corbin and slammed him to the steps. Back in and Orton hits the draping DDT. Orton sets, but Corbin fights off the RKO and hits deep six for a near fall. Back to the floor, and Corbin misses a charge and eats the steps. Back in and Ambrose returns to distract Corbin, allowing Orton to hit the RKO and win. Randy Orton defeated Baron Corbin @ 12:50 via pin [**½] This was a rather average match, the final third was pretty good and Corbin was made to look competitive before taking the protected loss. You knew Orton wasn’t losing, and while I am not wild about Corbin losing prior to challenging for the IC Title, at least it wasn’t clean.

– Post match Ambrose accepted the Mania challenge and hit dirty deeds on Corbin.

– Corbin vs. Ambrose for the IC Title is official for MNIA.

– Renee interviews Orton. He doesn’t know how to get rid of Wyatt once and for all. As Orton talks, we get spooky lighting effects, and Orton demands Wyatt show his face. Orton is magically surrounded by dudes in goat masks, who kick the shit out of him, Wyatt appears and blesses Orton with a ping pong paddle that ha a red X on it. Oh shit, they’re having an Ultimate X match. Wyatt says Abigail is now one with him and he now has her power. He thanks Orton and sings to him.

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That was a segment

– Fandango says Cena was exposed for being a lousy boyfriend and wearing jorts in 2017 so they gave him tickets. Fandango promised to show how bad a wrestler Cena is and introduces “Breezy Bella,” so John has Nikki come out to watch his back.

John Cena vs. Fandango: Tyler Breeze is with Fandango, and dressed as Nikki Bella. Fandango talks shit and gives Cena more tickets. Cena hits the shoulder block, proto bomb, five-knuckle shuffle and then Nikki takes out Breezy Bella; AA and rack attack 2.0 lead to stereo submissions and the Team Cena victory. John Cena defeated Fandango @ 1:25 via pin [NR] More jokes on Team Cena before giving them a victory to show that despite all the shit talk, that they are on the same page and united by love, and housing contracts. It was mildly amusing, but not really my cup of tea as far as entertainment goes. Breeze, dressed as a woman, got speared and submitted by that woman; that’ll run you $500 an hour in some countries. That’s what Steve Cook tells me anyway.

– Natalya is out to do commentary.

Becky Lynch vs. Carmella: Ellsworth is with Carmella, they got what I’d refer to as a negative reaction. Lynch chased Carmella to the floor, Ellsowrth slowed her down, allowing Carmella to get involved. Natalya got involved for the no contest. James and Bliss hit the ring for the brawl, Lynch hit Ellsworth with a missile dropkick as Carmella used him as a shield. Bliss stood tall. Becky Lynch vs. Carmella went to a no contest @ 0:48 [NR] I am not sad at all that a Carmella match got cut short; the idea here was to play up the chaotic nature of the Mania match, which still lacks definition. All we know is that Bliss is defending against any available woman on Smackdown. The theory was sound, but this came off as largely flat.

– Neville tells us to watch 205 Live and promises to take out Aries at Mania. Tonight, Neville faces Mustafa Ali.

Miz & Maryse Show MORE “Unaired Total Divas Footage”: This time around, robot Cena tells Nikki he loves her by reading off of cue cards. Cena hates people that do not use coasters, and notes that they have no more friends. Maryse says they watch The Marine, even though it isn’t very good and the sequels are better. “Cena” teases giving “Nikki” a DIAMOND… Dallas Page yoga set. “Cena” then bought “Nikki” a ring… a WWE Toy Ring.

– Luke Harper faces Bray Wyatt next week.

– Renee interviews Styles in the parking garage. A car arrives but it’s Slater and Rhyno, remember them? Can we get some fucking order around here and fine Shane, Rhyno and Slater for showing up so late?

When Shane Met Styles: In the arena, Shane’s music hits and he arrives in the building, he bamboozled Styles. Shane says he is here and calls out Styles. Post break and Shane was still waiting on Styles, noting that Styles was a coward and isn’t out there because Shane can see him coming. Shane says if Styles came to him man to man and talked to him, they could have resolved the issues. Shane calls him out again and Styles makes his way to the ring. After taking a lap around the building, Styles finds his way to gorilla and finally makes his way out. He tells Shane to calm down and understand where he is coming from and apologized, he was upset when he lost the Mania main event. Styles offers to come in the ring and apologize and shake Shane’s hand. Styles enters the ring and throws crazy fists.

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To the floor they go, and Styles beats down Shane and then dismantles the announcer’s table. Shane battles back with a suplex, beat on Styles with a monitor and set Styles up on the table. Shane then hit the bog top rope elbow drop, putting Styles through the table. I wasn’t a big fan of the closing segment as a whole, the AJ apology ruined the tone he set in the opening promo, even if he was trying to give Shane a false sense of security. I also think giving away Shane’s big spot on this week’s show was a bad move because we should have something to look forward to. The other thing is that is very risky, Shane hurt himself at Survivor Series, and while he is known for his crazy stunts, what if he hurt himself before Mania? It was fine overall, but felt it missed the mark a bit.

– End scene.

– Thanks for reading.

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“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia!”

6.0
The final score: review Average
The 411
I felt that this week’s show was a serviceable episode, thy set up some stuff for next week, and did some minor, but solid build for Mania. Unfortunately I feel Smackdown has lost a lot of it’s steam and sizzle in the build to Mania.
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