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Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 10.30.17
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Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 10.30.17
OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Nia Jax defeated Bayley @ 7:30 via pin [*½]
– Samoa Joe defeated Apollo Crews @ 3:40 via submission [**]
– IC Title Match: Champion The Miz defeated Matt Hardy @ 13:00 via pin [***¼]
– Asuka defeated Stacie Cullen @ 1:42 via submission [NR]
– Finn Balor defeated Cesaro @ 11:37 via pin [***]
– Kane defeated Seth Rollins @ 5:45 via pin [*½]
– Trick or Street Fight: Rhyno & Slater defeated Gallows & Anderson @ 4:48 via pin [*]
– Kalisto defeated Drew Gulak @ 1:03 via pin [NR]
– Raw Women’s Title Match: Champion Alexa Bliss defeated Mickie James @ 11:25 via pin [**]
– Follow all of my reviews at this link.
– We get highlights from last week’s show.
– The Raw roster is out on the stage.
Kurt Angle Talks: Angle says Shane McMahon took friendly competition too far, but admits that he let his friendship blind him. He apologizes to the roster, but is interrupted by Stephanie McMahon, fresh off a six-month or so vacation. She’s happy to be back and talks about Raw’s 25th anniversary in January. She supported Angle as GM, and supported him through the illegitimate child fiasco, and says he led by example, including at TLC when he competed. She respected him, until last week. She doesn’t want to hear “his pathetic excuses,” and runs down Shane. She says Shane is picking on her because he lost at HIAC. Shane embarrassed Raw last week, and Angle allowed Raw to become a mockery last week. She calls him incompetent. She says that Angle will captain team Raw at Survivor Series and wants results. She wants victory or she’ll find a new GM. It’s not a Stephanie McMahon return without some balls being cut off. The worst part of it all is that her character remains the same, it never changes or evolves, and I feel does nothing to add to the product. It’s a complete turn off. The only thing that was good here is confirming that Angle is wrestling at Survivor Series.
– We’re back to Kurt groveling and thanking Stephanie for cutting his balls off on live TV.
– The Miz arrives (with Dallas and Axel) and Angle yells at him for being late. Miz does not approve of Angel being made team captain. Angle says Miz is selfish or a coward, and says he’s defending the IC Title tonight, against an opponent to be named later.
– Fox pinned Bayley last week to become the captain of the Raw women’s Survivor Series team. Fox is out, dressed as a captain and says she doesn’t have time for a match tonight. Nia Jax is taking her place.
Nia Jax vs. Bayley: Bayley attacks, and manages to send Jax to the floor. Post break, Jax has Bayley grounded. She then hits corner splashes, Jax climbs the ropes but Bayley cuts her off and knocks her to the floor and hits a high cross. Bayley then works her over in the ropes, hits a stunner n the ropes and covers for 2. Bayley now works a hanging guillotine, but Jax tosses her away. Jax hits a spear and leg drop, finishing Bayley. Nia Jax defeated Bayley @ 7:30 via pin [*½] This was an ok match, but served as a good reboot for Jax and also sets her up for Survivor Series.
– Fox makes Jax the #1 pick for her Survivor Series team.
– Samoa Joe then makes his return. Joe says it appears he’s been missed. The crowd loves him, but he says he hasn’t missed anyone. He says no one reached out to him while he was out, which is why he doesn’t care about them. He will use their disrespect to fuel him as he puts the beat down on someone.
Samoa Joe vs. Apollo Crews: Joe attacks at the bell, working over Crews with strikes and chops. Crews works a side headlock, Joe quickly escapes but Crews catches him with a dropkick. Crews fires back with kicks, but runs into a snap slam for 2. Joe hits a corner attack and enziguri to follow up, elbows and chops follow. Knee strikes by Joe connect, but Crews hits an enziguri and then another. Joe counters the powerbomb and hits the STJOE. The choke finishes Crews. Samoa Joe defeated Apollo Crews @ 3:40 via submission [**] This was fine, but after that promo, I would have had Joe completely decimate someone with no resistance.
– Post match, Joe also chokes out Titus,
IC Title Match: Champion The Miz vs. Matt Hardy: Dallas and Axel are out with Miz. Matt Hardy is fresh off of a big win over Curt Hawkins on Main Event, so an obvious contender. Hardy gets a couple pin attempts and teases the twist of fate to begin. Hardy runs wild early until Miz tosses him to he floor. Post break, Hardy works over Miz in the corner, gets cut off and they battle up top, Hardy fights off Miz, but then gets crotched. Miz hits a tower of London variation and covers for 2. Miz whiffs on a clothesline, but grabs Hardy and hits a neck breaker, covering for 2. Dallas gets in a cheap shot on Hardy, and Miz catapults him into the ropes. He then slams him off the apron, and hits a running knee. Back in and Miz covers for 2. Miz follows with corner clotheslines, heads up top and leaps off, gets caught and Miz then misses a corner clothesline. Hardy hits the side effect, covering for 2. He heads to the second rope and hits an elbow. Backup and hits an elbow drop, covering for 2. Hardy sets for the twist of fate, but Miz counters and then runs into a side effect for a good near fall. Hardy looks for the twist of fate again, Miz counters again but runs into a kick. Hardy up top and hits the moonsault, covering for a really close 2; great reaction on the near fall. Miz slams Hardy to the buckles, lays in kicks and then misses, twist of fate connects by Hardy but Miz rolls to the apron. Hardy grabs Miz, but Miz stuns him off the ropes and hits the skull-crushing finale, and wins. Champion The Miz defeated Matt Hardy @ 13:00 via pin [***¼] This ended up being good, Matt is surely slowed down a lot, but he has enough equity with the fans that they bought on near falls and his kick outs, creating some great drama down the stretch.
– Angle is on his phone and meets with Alexa Bliss. She kisses up to Angle, and says the women should cut some of the dead weight (shots fired?) like Mickie James (and saying they could bring in new talent from the Mae Young Classic). Angle says Mickie fought for Raw last week, and tonight, Alexa will defend against Mickie in the main event.
Asuka vs. Stacie Cullen: Asuka attacks right away, laying in strikes and kicks. Knee strikes follow, Asuka yells at the ref and then just kicks the shit out of Cullen. Asuka lights up Cullen with more strikes, and the Asuka lock finishes it. Asuka defeated Stacie Cullen @ 1:42 via submission [NR] Beautiful destruction.
– Back in the office, Angle is sending some dick pics. He then freaks out as he thinks Smackdown is coming, and we see Daniel Bryan is here. Bryan says he’s here alone, Shane doesn’t know he’s here and says he had nothing to do with last week’s attack. Bryan says he was caught off guard, and Angle says he’s bringing his medals, the Raw roster and will take Shane and Smackdown out.
– We get highlights of Heyman burying Mahal on last week’s show.
– Bryan is now on the phone, the lights go out and Bryan is left alone in the dark. Post break, Bryan is freaked out a bit and still talking with someone. He’s locked in the office and is rather pissed. Kane arrives and attacks him in the dark so we can’t see Bryan taking a bump (it’s a joke). Solid way to “injure Bryan” without showing anything.
Oh, HELL NO! @KaneWWE just ATTACKED his former tag team partner @WWEDanielBryan!!!! #RAW pic.twitter.com/Cdt3sO4ULa
— WWE (@WWE) October 31, 2017
Finn Balor vs. Cesaro: Sheamus is out with Cesaro. They lock up and work to the ropes, trade strikes and Balor looks to ground the action. Good control early by Balor until he runs into a tilt a whirl backbreaker. Cesaro then attacks with uppercuts, but Balor fights back and sends Cesaro to the floor. The apron PK follows, and Balor rolls him back in. Sheamus distracts Balor, allowing Cesaro to send him to the floor. Post break, Balor cuts off Cesaro with a PELE and the sets Cesaro up top and follows with another kick. Sheamus again distracts Balor, and Cesaro hits a toss up uppercut, covering for 2. Cesaro looks for the swing, but Balor makes the ropes. Cesaro then hits the dead lift superplex, covering for 2. Cesaro now locks in the sharp shooter, and then transitions to s crossface. Balor manages to roll out and hits the standing double stomp. The sling blade and a shotgun dropkick follow. Balor fights off Sheamus and tosses Cesaro. Balor then wipes them out with a big tope. Back in and Balor hits the double stomp to the back of the head of Cesaro, picking up the win. Finn Balor defeated Cesaro @ 11:37 via pin [***] This was good & enjoyable… until
– Post match, Kane arrives and brawls with Balor. Kane then tombstones Balor on the stage, completely nullifying the good match and rebound win Balor just had. Wins don’t matter when you’re made to look like a fucking goof moments later.
Kane vs. Seth Rollins: Ambrose, Sheamus, and Cesaro are all at ringside. Rollins attacks at the bell, but is almost immediately cut off. Kane controls, slowly beating down Rollins until Rollins picks up the pace and hits an enziguri. Rollins up top and hits a blockbuster, covering for 2. Rollins follows with a suicide dive, the second one was supposed to be swatted away but instead it looked like Kane killed him. Kane then no sells some springboard clotheslines, Ambrose gets jumped by Sheamus & Cesaro, Rollins makes the save but gets chokeslammed by Kane and that’s that. Kane defeated Seth Rollins @ 5:45 via pin [*½] Rollins provided the moving parts and sold for Kane before losing. Not a good match and the post match was the drizzling shits.
– Post match, Ambrose hits Kane with Dirty Deeds to save Rollins. Good work Dean, you’ll be losing to Kane next week. Sheamus & Cesaro attack Ambrose, leading to Kane hitting him with the tombstone. Kane then tombstones Rollins to stand tall in 2017. I get that they want to build up Kane for Strowman, but why sacrifice Balor, Ambrose, and Rollins? I mean, why build stars when you can rebuild Kane in 2017? Kane already has a name; you don’t need to burn others just to feed him to Braun.
– Daniel Bryan is being stretchered out of the building.
– Miz, Dallas, and Axel head out for a night on the town. They then find garbage in their locker room, and speculate that BRAUN is back.
– Halloween decorations are being set up for a “Trick or Street” fight. Well, it can’t get much worse, can it?
– Miz finds Kane and kisses his ass. He then brings up BRAUN, and tells him about the bag of trash. Kane tells Miz he’s on his own.
– We get highlights of BRAUN’s alleged death at TLC.
Trick or Street Fight: Gallows & Anderson vs. Rhyno & Slater: Rhyno & Slater are dressed as Santa and Mrs. Claus. The Good Brothers are dressed as their Southpaw characters. The Good Brothers get pumpkins put on their heads and slammed together. Candy corn kendo sticks are introduced as Slater & Rhyno bring in tables. Gallows battles back, taking out Rhyno and they then attack Slater, rubbing pumpkin guts on his face. Anderson gets crotched in the corner, Gallows has a fake tombstone, uses it but Rhyno no sells and slams a pie in his face. Anderson is back, they set up a table but Slater attacks with kendo sticks. Gallows takes him out, beats on he and Rhyno with the kendo stick. They set up Rhyno on the table and Anderson puts a pumpkin on his head and gets caught with a spinebuster through the table and that’s that. Rhyno & Slater defeated Gallows & Anderson @ 4:48 via pin [*] The good news was that Tex Ferguson and Chad 2 Badd were on Raw. The bad was everything else. This wasn’t even a “so bad it’s good” kind of thing.
– Miz meets with Sheamus & Cesaro, and they also tell Miz that he’s on his own. Miz is ready to bail.
– The Drifter arrives to sing us a song. He sings the ballad of Jason Jordan, with footage of Jordan eating the guitar shot last week. Jordan arrives and they brawl. He then suplexes Elias, who runs away; Jordan then destroys Elias’ guitar.
– Miz, Dallas, & Axel try to bail, but Angle stops them with a “you’ll stay, or else.” DAD IS ANGRY.
– Enzo arrives and he can talk again, so he does his usual shtick. He’s out with Drew Gulak. Gulak and Enzo claim Angle is incompetent. Enzo says that Kalisto isn’t getting the title back. Gulak doing Enzo’s lines in proper English is amusing.
Kalisto vs. Drew Gulak: Gulak attacks at the bell, and works over Kalisto. Kalisto quickly fires back, and hits a back handspring kick, and spiked RANA. The salida del sol finishes Gulak. Kalisto defeated Drew Gulak @ 1:03 via pin [NR] Well, that was technically a match that certainly happened on this show.
– Enzo attacks and lays out Kalisto post match. This feud must continue.
– Miz is still freaking out, and is planning his escape.
Raw Women’s Title Match: Champion Alexa Bliss vs. Mickie James: Aggressive lock up to begin, and Bliss takes cheapo shot and takes James to the buckles. James picks up the pace, lays in a kick and covers for 2. The head scissors and dropkick follow and Bliss bails to the floor. Post break, Bliss has taken control of things, as she posted James during the break. James tries to fire up but eats a clothesline. Bliss grounds the action again, just killing the pacing. James manages to get to her feet, but instantly grounded again. Bliss then slams her down, and covers for 2. Bliss then stands on James’ hair, but James fires back with kicks and then hits a neck breaker, covering for 2. We get CM Punk chants as James makes her comeback, but Bliss slams her down and tells James to give up. James hits a flapjack, heads up top but Bliss slams her off the ropes and heads up top. James cuts her off with a kick and Bliss spills to the floor. James rolls her back in, heads up top and hits the seated senton for 2. Bliss tries to run, but is tossed back in, and James rolls her up for 2. James gets a bridging cradle for 2, but Bliss cuts her off with a big right and… covers for the win. Champion Alexa Bliss defeated Mickie James @ 11:25 via pin [**] This was a flat and uninspired main event, not nearly as good as their PPV match.
– Miz is trying to escape, and they get in the limo. But a garbage truck arrives to stop them. BRAUN IS NOT DONE WITH YOU YET AND ARRISES FROM THE TRASH! BRAN chases Miz and company as we see Bliss still celebrating. BRAUN chases them into the arena and kicks the shit out of Miz and company. They try to swarm him, but he tosses Dallas down the ramp and then Axel. BRAUN then tosses Miz down the ramp and follows. He tosses Miz in the ring and beats down Axel, but Axel saves Miz so he eats a powerslam. He hits another and then a third and a fourth. Miz is terrified. BRAUN stands tall. Miz and Dallas runaway as BRAUN carries Axel to the stage and slams him through the announce table. One of the very few bright spots on an overall poor show.
– End scene.
– Thanks for reading.
~GLORIOUS~
