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Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 8.07.17

August 7, 2017 | Posted by Larry Csonka
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Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 8.07.17  

Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 8.07.17

OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Sheamus defeated Seth Rollins @ 8:45 via pin [**½]
– Jason Jordan defeated Jean Pierre Goulet @ 1:20 via pin [NR]
– Sasha Banks defeated Alicia Fox and Emma @ 4:25 via pin []
– The Good Brothers defeated Big Show & Enzo @ 6:45 via pin [*]
– Dean Ambrose defeated Cesaro @ 19:25 via pin [***]
– Akira Tozawa defeated Ariya Daivari @ 3:50 via pin [**]
– Nia Jax defeated Mickie James and Dana Brooke @ 3:01 via pin [*]
Last Man Standing Match: Braun Strowman defeated Roman Reigns @ 22:04 [***¾]


– Follow all of my reviews at this link.

MIZ TV: Fucks sake, can we not start with a promo every week? I am absolutely sick and tired of the sterile and regimented layout of WWE TV. Miz calls out Jason Jordan, because he’s upset about last week. Maryse, Dallas, and Axel are out with Miz. Kurt Angle arrives, and says that Jordan will not be on Miz TV because he is facing Axel later in the evening. Angle has a replacement guest for him, and it’s Brock Lesnar (along with Paul Heyman). Miz takes control of the show, so Heyman tosses his mic down. Miz says that Brock will lose the title at Summerslam and it’s all Heyman’s fault. Miz says he’d put his money on Joe, Reigns or BRAUN, because one of them will leave Summerslam with the belt while Brock will take his ball and go home. Heyman takes his mic and goes into his usual intro, and then asks if Miz & Maryse role-play. Heyman is all about role-playing, and tells Miz he’s Reigns, Dallas is Joe, and Axel is Strowman. Heyman leaves so Brock can give us a preview of Summerslam. Ass kickings, Germans and F5s for all! Good opening segment, Miz was really good as always and set the stage well for he and his minions to get their asses kicked. The only thing I hated is that Miz, as IC champion, had to take an ass kicking. I wish they could have had him escape and just have his flunkies take the beating.

– Seth Rollins walks.

Seth Rollins vs. Sheamus: This is a rematch from last week, Rollins won and Sheamus is looking for revenge. I’d say his revenge was the ass beating that he and Cesaro gave both Rollins and Ambrose last week. Cesaro is out with Sheamus; Rollins is alone. Rollins attacks at the bell, taking the fight to Sheamus and runs wild, scoring an early near fall. Sheamus fights back, cutting off Rollins as we head to the break. Post break, Sheamus works the heat hitting the Finlay roll, but Rollins avoided the brogue kick, and then cut off Sheamus as he went up top. Rollins looked for the superplex, but got knocked to the mat. He pops back up and hits the RANA off the top and follows with a superkick for 2. Rollins hits sling blade, but Cesaro distracts him and Sheamus rolls him up for the win. Sheamus defeated Seth Rollins @ 8:45 via pin [**½] This was a solid match, but I felt last week’s was better. It didn’t help that they went right for the 50/50 booking either.

– Rollins is a sore loser, tries to attack the champions but gets his ass kicked. The crowd cheers for Ambrose, but as he promised, he wasn’t helping Seth out of another bind. I still love that Ambrose just isn’t magically forgiving Rollins and being his best friend again.

– Rollins limps around backstage and runs into Ambrose who says he told him not to do that again. Rollins says he is a jerk and wants to know what he has to do to prove that he changed. Ambrose refuses to get burned again, and says he has Cesaro later tonight and will go it alone.

– Curtis Axel isn’t cleared to compete against Jason Jordan, Angle finds a random jobber standing backstage and sends him out to face Jordan. His name is Jean Pierre Goulet, and he looks like Rusev from the shittiest timeline.

Jason Jordan vs. Jean Pierre Goulet: Jordan got a scary lack of reaction on his entrance, but Goulet gets “lets go jobber” chants. Jordan tosses him around, and out wrestles him until Goulet fires back with elbows and rights. Jordan cuts him off to the jeers of the crowd. Jordan hits the pop up neck breaker for the win. Jason Jordan defeated Jean Pierre Goulet @ 1:20 via pin [NR] The crowd is already rebelling on Jordan, not good. I see a heel turn coming sooner rather than later. I actually hope Miz plays this up, noting that Angle sent out Brock with the intention of injuring or softening up his son’s opponent.

– Cole informs us that Bayley is out of Summerslam.

Bayley Talks: Charly is out to interview Bayley, and we see footage of her getting injured last week. She knew she was hurt last week, and is angry that she’s out of Summerslam. But she knew she had to finish the match, to prove herself. The fans made her feel better through their support. Wow the fans are not happy with her (we get a bizzaro world reference on commentary). Bayley promises to move forward and is looking forward to returning. When asked who will face Bliss at Summerslam, she picks Sasha Banks. Banks arrives and they hug. Bayley’s delivery was far from great, but the fans not giving a shit was even worse.

– Alexa Bliss is out to do commentary.

Sasha Banks vs. Alicia Fox vs. Emma: The winner moves onto next week to face the winner of Nia Jax vs. Mickie James vs. Dana Brooke; the winner of that match faces Bliss at Summerslam. Emma attacks Banks, but gets sent to the floor. Fox misses a corner kick, and Banks rolls her up for 2. Emma pulls Banks to the floor and hits a wheelbarrow German to the apron, and then cuts off Fox. Fox then fights back and hits the northern lights suplex for 2. Banks returns, hits a shining wizard on Emma and then hits the double knees to both Fox and Emma. Emma dumps Banks and gets a near fall on Fox. Emma then tosses Fox around, hits the Emma sandwich in the corner, but Banks breaks that up. Back in and Banks hits the back stabber, into the Banks statement and Emma breaks it up, but she is trapped in the Banks statement and taps. Sasha Banks defeated Alicia Fox and Emma @ 4:25 via pin [*¾] This felt rushed and disjointed, there were a few decent save spots and one really good near fall, but overall it wasn’t very good.

Enzo Talks: Enzo is out to talk, and Big Show arrives. Enzo tries to tell Show they area dream team, and then talks about Show KOing Cass last week, and Show says Cass’ chin is sawft. Anderson and Gallows arrive and they make fun of Show and Enzo for not being good brothers. They suggest a match. Enzo calls them Dr. Evil and Mini-Me. They accept the match.

The Good Brothers (Anderson & Gallows) vs. Big Show & Enzo: Show cleans house early, and we take a break 25-second into the match. We return to action three-minutes later with Gallows working the heat on Enzo. Anderson tags on, continues the heat and misses a charge. Gallows gets the tag, cuts Enzo off and hits a superkick. Big Cass walks out now. Big Show gets distracted and gets booted to the floor. Enzo gets a desperation roll up and eats the boot, and then gets pinned. The Good Brothers defeated Big Show & Enzo @ 6:45 via pin [*] Not much of a match, it was gutted by commercial and then we got a flat heat segment on Enzo; The Good Brothers only won due to Cass’ distraction, which did nothing for them.

– Post match, and speaking of doing nothing for anyone, Cass beats down Show and then kicks the shit out of Enzo a bit, Enzo runs and Show saves him by knocking out Cass. Enzo is a chicken shit, Cass keeps getting knocked out, and… Big Show stands tall again. This feud must continue.

– We get highlights of Wyatt and Balor’s interaction from last week.

Finn Balor: Balor is here to talk and says this is Balor club. He gets a small too sweet chant and discuses kicking Wyatt’s ass last week and jokes about Wyatt talking too much. He knows Wyatt is more concerned with hurting people than winning matches. The next time Wyatt comes at him, he better not miss. Whatever Wyatt stars, he’ll finish. Wyatt appears out of nowhere, and Balor is sitting on the ropes waiting for him. Wyatt ails at his attack and Balor hits an enziguri and sling blade, but Wyatt’s gimmick hits and he disappears. Wyatt’s on the screen laughing, saying he will rip him down from the heavens and the fans will fall with him. Um…. Ok. That was a segment. In theory it was a segment to build to their upcoming match, but in reality, they are still doing nothing to make me want to watch that match.

– I am more excited for this than I am Balor vs. Wyatt…

Dean Ambrose vs. Cesaro: After some pushing and shoving, they locked up and battled for position. Cesaro looks to take it to the ground, but Ambrose fights back and hits a monkey flip. They battled back and forth, Ambrose then hit corner strikes but Cesaro countered out and slammed Ambrose to the buckles. The clothesline followed, and Cesaro covered for 2. Ambrose battles back, clotheslines Cesaro to the floor and follows with the slingshot plancha. Sheamus distracts Ambrose, allowing Cesaro to take control as we head to a break. Post break, Ambrose hits a huge superplex but Cesaro quickly fought back, attacking Ambrose with a tilt a whirl back breaker and then a standing back breaker. Cesaro had control, but Ambrose battled back to an alarming lack of reaction, but Cesaro cut him off and hit the gut wrench suplex for 2. Ambrose fights out of the neutralizer, heads up top and has to leap over Cesaro, Cesaro counters dirty deeds and looks for the sharpshooter, but Ambrose escapes and sends him to the floor. Cesaro cuts of the suicide dive with an uppercut for a near fall. They battle to the corner, Cesaro looks for the dead lift superplex, but Ambrose fights him off and hits a la magistral cradle for 2. They trade strikes, body shots by Cesaro but Ambrose hits a jawbreaker lariat to stop that attack. Sheamus distracts Ambrose, allowing Cesaro locks in the sharpshooter. Ambrose finally makes the ropes, and then sends Cesaro to the floor. Ambrose up top and hits the elbow drop press to the floor. Back in and Ambrose back up top, Sheamus distracts him but he fights it off and rolls up Cesaro for the win. Dean Ambrose defeated Cesaro @ 19:25 via pin [***] This was a good match, featuring a particularly strong effort by Cesaro. It went a bit too long, as I think that pruning a few minutes and condensing the action would have made for a more efficient and cleaner match. Ambrose tends to get a bit sloppy the longer a match goes on.

– The champions attack Ambrose, but Rollins is here to even the odds and to prove that he has changed. He clears the ring and saves the day. The fans want the former Shield brothers to hug it out and reunite, and Ambrose puts his fist out for the Shield salute, Rollins then refuses this time; he’s playing hard to get now I see. It felt odd Rollins walking away, he had been trying to prove himself, and seemingly got exactly what he wanted, Ambrose’s approval, but now he walked away. Not sure about that, after taking the ass beating he did earlier, he should be kissing Ambrose’s ass for the help.

– Tozawa’s shoulder is finally not toed up anymore, and he celebrates with Crews & Titus. Neville arrives to ruin the celebration. He plans to scout Tozawa during his match tonight.

Akira Tozawa vs. Ariya Daivari: So even though Tozawa won the feud and title match, we have to watch them face off once again. Titus is out on commentary. I get Daivari wanting revenge and all, I just have no desire to see another match between the two. Daivari goes on the attack right away, attacking the previously inured shoulder. Daivari dominates for two-minutes until Tozawa hits a RANA and suicide dive, and then rolls Daivari back in and covers for 2. Tozawa then hits the Saito suplex; heads up top and the big senton finished it. Akira Tozawa defeated Ariya Daivari @ 3:50 via pin [**] It was fine, but completely unnecessary. Tozawa wins to gain some momentum, but I wish he could have done so against a fresh opponent, it’s not like Gran Metalik was busy.

– Alexa Bliss is out to do commentary.

Nia Jax vs. Mickie James vs. Dana Brooke:The winner faces Sasha Banks next week, and the winner of that goes onto face Alexa Bliss at Summerslam. Jax overpowers both with ease to begin. But Jax does the monster thing, missing a charge and posting herself to make it one on one. James and Brooke battle back and forth, James score a near fall but Jax returns and takes James to the floor. Brooke tries to fight off Jax, but gets leveled. James back in, hits the seated senton and then covers Brooke; Jax sends her to the floor. Brooke fails to jump on Jax’s back, and Jax hits the leg drop and wins. Nia Jax defeated Mickie James and Dana Brooke @ 3:01 via pin [*] The good news is that Jax looked like a beast, the bad news is that this was a rushed and largely sloppy mess.

– Lawler, Lita, & Rosenberg are on the TWO-HOUR Summerslam pre-show.

– We get a Goldust video package. He’s searching for his next hero, villain or possibly leading lady (Summer Rae as Marlena 2k17?).

– Kurt Angle books Big Show vs. Big Cass for Summerslam, with Enzo suspended above the ring in a shark cage.

– Finn Balor vs. Bray Wyatt is official for Summerslam.

Last Man Standing Match: Braun Strowman vs. Roman Reigns: Strowman meets Reigns on the floor and we get the big brawl to begin; Strowman then tosses Reigns from the floor and into the ring. Strowman dominates early, tossing Reigns around with ease, and then sends him to the floor and the ref starts counting. Post break, and Strowman tosses part of the steps into the ring and then he and Reigns follow. Reigns fires up with corner clotheslines, hits a pair of boots but Strowman is still up. Reigns gets the steps and beats on Strowman with them. Reigns with several shots with the steps, and the ref counts on Strowman. Strowman to his feet, and Reigns looks for a superman punch but Strowman cuts him off. Strowman takes Reigns down with the big slam, but Reigns beats the count. Reigns escapes the powerslam and hits a superman punch for a double down. Reigns sets for another, but Strowman hits the dropkick to stop that. Strowman then misses the charge, and surprise surprise, he posts himself. They both beat the count, Reigns follows Strowman to the floor and hits the drive by kick. Reigns slides a table into the ring, but as he goes for another drive by, Strowman cuts him off with a clothesline. Strowman sets up the table, Reigns fires up and looks for a Samoan drop and gets it putting Strowman through the table. They go to the floor, Reigns looks to attack but Strowman throws a fucking chair at him, someone’s been watching their EVIL tapes.

That was fucking hilarious. They brawl into the crowd now, and then up to the announce table. The brawl goes onto the stage, with Strowman tossing reigns into the LED board. Strowman then dismantles the announce table, looks for a powerbomb but Reigns escapes and hits two superman punches. Reigns then looks for a spear, eats a boot and Reigns is down. Reigns then fires up and runs down the ramp, spearing Strowman. But JOE attacks Reigns from in the crowd and locks in the choke. Reigns is out, and Joe stands tall over both men and talks shit. The ref starts counting again, Joe looks like he wants to kill reigns, Strowman makes it to his feet and wins. Braun Strowman defeated Roman Reigns @ 22:04 [***¾] In terms of quality and overall entertainment this was easily the best thing on the show. Braun and Roman have good chemistry, they are two big hoss daddy men that go out there and do mean guy things in a greatly entertaining way. Unfortunately, WWE is doing exactly what I feared when they announced the fatal four-way, and two weeks in a row ran matches with some of the participants, slowly diminishing overall interest in the match before we even get to Summerslam. I just hope that they don’t run Joe vs. Braun next week.

– End scene.

– Thanks for reading.

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~GLORIOUS~

5.0
The final score: review Not So Good
The 411
Tonight’s show had some solid build elements towards Summerslam, but I feel as if they are already burning out the tag title match with the singles matches and brawls, and the universal title match already feels less important to me due to the guys (minus Brock) fighting in some form for the past two weeks. At the end of the day, nothing outside of the main event felt important or must see, and show felt every minute of the 3-hour and 15-minute run time.
legend

article topics :

RAW, Tremendous Tirades, WWE, Larry Csonka