Csonka’s WWE Smackdown Review 3.27.20

Csonka’s WWE Friday Night Smackdown Review 3.27.20

OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Drew Gulak defeated Shinsuke Nakamura @ 4:00 via pin [**]
– Alexa Bliss defeated Asuka @ 10:00 via pin [**]
– From WrestleMania 32: Roman Reigns defeated Champion Triple H @ 27:05 via pin [**]
– #1 Contender’s Match: The Usos vs. The New Day went to a no contest @ 14:00 [**¾]

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– Michael Cole welcomes us to the show, still hyping Miz & Morrison defending the tag titles at Mania.

– Banks & Bayley arrive to kick things off. Bayley hypes Mania and Banks agrees with her in regards to Mania being a nightmare due to Paige booking them in the 5-way match. It’s not fair pitting them against each other. That will fail because they are great together… Banks isn’t quite buying this. Lacey Evans arrives and Banks mocks her and tells her that her daughter is ashamed of her. Lacey says she will break Banks’ jaw and will beat respect into Bayley. Naomi arrives and Naomi says she has unfinished business with Bayley and will snatch Banks bald. Tamina, actually still employed, arrives and looking like an angry soccer mom. She attacks Lacey & Naomi, Bayley & Banks join in leading to Tamina scaring them away. A par for the course WWE revolving door segment to try and add some hype to a cold title match.

Drew Gulak vs. Shinsuke Nakamura: If Gulak wins, Bryan gets an IC Title shot at Mania vs. Sami Zayn. Bryan, Sami, & Cesaro are at ringside. Nakamura attacks with knee strikes, grounding Gulak and taking early control until Gulak hits Jon Woooooooooooo and lays the boots to Nakamura. Cesaro pulls Nakamura to the floor and Nakamura then pulls Gulak to the floor and attacks. Back in and Gulak dragon screws him, and starts working the knee. Nakamura cuts him off with a flying knee strike for 2. The guillotine follows, grounding Gulak. Kinshasa is countered as Bryan pulls Gulak away and Gulak cradles Nakamura for the win. Drew Gulak defeated Shinsuke Nakamura @ 4:00 via pin [**] It was ok, Bryan gets his IC Title shot.

– Cole discusses the Otis vs. Dolph rivalry, including recent highlights. We see Dolph on the phone mocking Otis, and Otis arrives but is held back by Tucker and referees. Dolph challenges him to a match at Mania.

– Elias arrives and talks about his Mania match with Corbin and then sings a song, mocking Corbin, and calling him a turd. Corbin attacks and dumps Elias off the perch; he’s dead Jim.

Alexa Bliss vs. Asuka: Nikki is at ringside and joins commentary. Asuka talks shit and cackles at Bliss. They lockup and Bliss follows with strikes. The dropkick follows for 2. Asuka cuts her off and dances until Bliss dumps her and she dances. Asuka then quickly slams her to the steps. Post break and Asuka has things grounded. Nikki tries to rally Bliss. But Asuka continues to dominate things until Bliss avoids the ass attack. They trade, working on the apron and Bliss slams Asuka shoulder first to the apron and covers for 2. She avoids the charge and follows with clotheslines, rights and a dropkick. The double knees moonsault misses, to the floor and Bliss slams Asuka to the apron. Back in and Bliss covers for 2. The DDT finishes it. Alexa Bliss defeated Asuka @ 10:00 via pin [**] This was ok with some entertaining character work, possibly setting up a tag title match. The best part may have been Cole corspsing while trying to commentate through Nikki’s antics.

– They are still hyping Reigns vs. Goldberg even though by all reports it’s off.

From WrestleMania 32: Champion Triple H vs. Roman Reigns: Roman Reigns is so upset with Triple H that he’s getting out grappled and acting way too calm. Show some fucking emotion, in storyline he fucked you our of the title and broke your damn face, you may want some revenge. The crowd hates Reigns, and so far this is feeling like Triple H vs. Orton at Mania 25, and that’s not good. Stephanie distracted the ref, Triple H kicked Reigns in the balls and got a God like pop for it. Reigns got next to no shine as Triple H took the heat, and he worked over Reigns and attacked the previously inured nose. He then mixed it up and hit a neck breaker on Reigns as Reigns was on the announce table and then placed him in the middle of the ropes and hit a knee off the second rope. This feels like a solid mid-card match 12-minutes in, not the WrestleMania main event. Reigns made a comeback, it was fine. They brawled to the floor, where Reigns slammed Triple H to the steps a few times, but then Triple H fought right back and slammed Reigns to the steps. At the 15 minute mark it dramatically slowed until Reigns hit a spear through the barricade (WWE main event trope #11). They got back to the ring, the crowd chanted for Nakamura as Triple H countered a spear into an arm bar, and then into a rings of Saturn variation. Triple H has been scouting Zack Sabre Jr. This is not actively bad, it’s just bland with a crowd that wouldn’t give a fuck to save either of these guy’s life. 19-minutes in Triple H is going grapple fuck like he’s working an Evolve main event with Catch Point, NO ONE CARES. I mean, when shit is not working you have to change directions, but they are doing the same shit with no intensity and having Reigns sell, and sell and sell; the issue is no one likes him, so having him babyface for so long kills the crowd. I am not saying that it’s “bad work,” it’s the wrong match and story to try and tell. 22-minutes in and the crowd in largely entertaining themselves. Stephanie pulled out the ref to stop a pin and then distracted the ref. She then got in the ring, which led to Reigns spearing her when Triple H moved. Triple H hit a pedigree for a near fall after that. The spear woke the crowd up as did the near fall. So they kept going, Stephanie handed Triple H a sledgehammer, but Reigns hit two Superman punches and a spear to win. Roman Reigns defeated Champion Triple H @ 27:05 via pin [**] A forced epic styled main event, going 27 that felt like 47; Triple H was as stubborn as ever, trying to work his epic match formula that fails more often than not. At the end of the day the match is OK at best, but in the Mania main event spot, a complete disappointment. Also, it was funny watching them try to do the big hero’s celebration with the crowd either leaving or booing Reigns. I have no idea why you would re-air this, especially since you’re airing the event on Sunday on ESPN.

– Triple H joins us and comments on Reigns vs. Goldberg since he’s battled both. He puts them both over, but feels Goldberg fades quickly after a quick burst and that if it goes long, Reigns wins. Keep hyping the match that isn’t happening.

– New Day hypes tonight’s match with the Usos.

– Dolph tells Sonya everything is coming together and Mandy arrives. She’s questioning why Dolph is doing this to Otis, but doesn’t want to be fought over like a prize.

– Firefly Funhouse time. Bray is excited to see us and the head lantern is whispering to him. Bray says “you failed” against Cena but “he won’t.” Bray has the recipe to beat Cena and mixes it up; it’s no LA Park cooking show. Poor Ramblin Rabbit gets mixed up in the blender, dying again. Bray drinks it and says they need more than an ordinary match and proposes a Firefly Funhouse match, whatever the fuck that is.

– Miz & Morrison join commentary.

– They hype Reigns & Goldberg going face-to-face next week.

#1 Contender’s Match: The Usos vs. The New Day: Kofi and Jimmy work into a fun, counter filled opening stretch as the Usos powder. Jey tags in and Big E joins him. They lockup and Big E easily overpowers him. Jey fires back, but is quickly cut off as double tams follow for 2. Kofi takes control of things until he’s double teamed and the cover gets 2. The Usos work quick tags and isolate Kofi in the corner until Big E gets the tag. He follows with suplexes and clubbing strikes. He follows with the apron splash. Post break and the Usos cut off Big E with double teams. The corner ass attack follows until Big E cuts off, we’ll say Jey with the STO. Kofi tags in, and runs wild, hitting the boom drop. Jey fires back, Kofi hits a RANA, but gets cut off with a half crab. He escapes, hits SOS and covers for 2. Big E tags in and the Usos counter the doomsday stomp, follow with superkicks and post Kofi. They double team Big E, but Big E fights back until they dump him. Kofi cuts off a dive, dumps the Usos and follows with a dive. Miz & Morrison celebrate, that leads to everyone fighting and Big E hits the suicide spear. Miz & Morrison attack for the no contest. The Usos vs. The New Day went to a no contest @ 14:00 [**¾] They tried, it was solid, and we got the finish I think we all saw coming. Unfortunately, it was a match designed to hype a match that is reportedly no longer happening.

– They all brawl post match and Cole announces that the Mania tag match is a triple threat.

The 411 on Wrestling Podcast returns to the 411 Podcasting Network for episode 101. On the show, 411’s Larry Csonka & Steve Cook look back at WrestleMania X7, the Raw the night after and then Kevin Pantoja joins to discuss ECW Guilty as Charged 2001. The show is approximately 138-mimues long.

* Intro
* WWE WrestleMania X7 Review: 7:30
* WWE Monday Night Raw Review 4.02.01: 53:55
* ECW Guilty as Charged 2001 Review: 1:23:27

* iTunes
* Spotify
* Stitcher
* Google Play

– End scene.

– Thanks for reading.

4.0

The final score: review Poor

The 411

This week’s episode of WWE Smackdown was not a good effort at all, it felt about five-hours long thanks to the Reigns vs. Triple H match, WWE felt like they were in complete denial by pushing matches that are not happening and there was just no life to anything happening here.