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Dark Pegasus Video Review: Clash of the Champions XVII

December 22, 2009 | Posted by J.D. Dunn
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Dark Pegasus Video Review: Clash of the Champions XVII  

Clash of the Champions XVII

by J.D. Dunn

I’m distressed by the lack of clever and alliterative subtitles.

  • November 19, 1991
  • Live from Savannah, Ga.
  • Your hosts are Jim Ross and Tony Schiavone.

  • Opening Match, Lumberjack Rules: Big Josh vs. Thomas Rich (w/Alexandra York).
    The backstory here is that Rich “trained” Big Josh and brought him to WCW only to sell out and turn on him. I believe Mr. Smith Goes to Washington had the same basic story. Rich attacks immediately, but Josh overpowers him and hits a belly-to-belly suplex. Ross and Schiavone keep mentioning Todd Champion as one of the lumberjacks… for no real reason. I know they wanted to push him; it just wasn’t happening. It wreaks of Poochie-itis. The lumberjacks get into a brawl on the floor. There’s Todd Champion! The heels jump Big Josh, giving the advantage back to Rich. Todd Champion looks on. Steve Armstrong gets a shot in on Josh. We hope to find out Todd Champion’s thoughts on that. Josh catches Rich coming off the top. They criss-cross, and Terrence Taylor trips up Rich. That allows Josh to hit Northern Exposure (the vertical splash) at 5:56. The York Foundation dissolved soon after this, so the breakup between Taylor and Rich was never really resolved. *1/2

  • Bobby Eaton vs. Firebreaker Chip.
    Eaton is still a babyface at this point, so they’re all respectful and everything. Chip is the partner of Todd Champion, who at this point was likely looking on from the back. You know, just in case you were curious. Eaton does his best to carry Chip. By the way, no professional wrestler should ever be named Chip if they want to be taken seriously. Bobby walks him through some basic stuff and finishes with a belly-to-back suplex with a bridge at 4:54. Eaton was just getting a workout here to keep him in people’s minds before he turned heel. 1/2*

  • Battlebowl hype.
  • Sting comes out to receive his final gift box. Well, all the other ones had evil people who attacked him in them. Why wouldn’t he want to come out and open up another one? Madusa gets carried out to Sting by a gaggle of greased-up men. She seduces Sting in an image that looks suspiciously like the Sherri-Ultimate Warrior segment from the Royal Rumble. Unlike the Warrior, though, Sting looks ready to nail that shit. Now, why would that be a bad idea? I mean, she only belongs to an organization whose stated purpose is to end Sting’s career. Lex Luger emerges from Madusa’s carriage and clips Sting’s bad knee, thus revealing himself to be the mysterious Gift Scorpion.
  • The Diamond Studd vs. Tom Zenk.
    We JIP to Studd hitting a bulldog. The match isn’t so bad, but no one is paying attention because Sting is being loaded into the ambulance. Zenk hits a crucifix for the win at 1:08. The Studd chokeslams him and hits the Diamond Death Drop to get his heat back. 1/2*

  • WCW TV Title: Stunning Steve Austin (w/Lady Blossom) vs. PN News.
    Austin attacks before the bell but gets squashed with an avalanche. To the floor, News whips him into the railing and tosses him back in. Austin goes for a slam but collapses under the weight. A suplex puts Austin in the ropes. A belly-to-belly puts him in the ropes on the other side, and Lady Blossom saves the title by putting Austin’s foot on the ropes. News chases Lady Blossom away, allowing Austin to hit a tope (!). Back in, News is so stunned that he charges right into a Flair Pin at 4:21. Even Austin had a hard time carrying this match. 3/4*

  • Missy Hyatt interviews newest Rookie Sensation Seth McFarlane Marcus Alexander Bagwell of Sprayberry High School. Missy complains that he didn’t ask her out.
  • Van Hammer vs. Cactus Jack.
    Hammer: “Savannah, are you ready to rock!?!” Crowd: “Not yet. Geech is tyin’ his shoe!” Hammer: “I’ll wait.” Or not. Jack attacks at the bell, of course. Hammer fights back but gets Cactus Clotheslined over. CONSEQUENCES ELBOW! Back in, Hammer sends Jack into the corner and hits a Northern Lariat. That sets up a wussy knee to the back of Jack’s head for two. They knock heads for a double KO spot, and Jack tumbles to the floor. The ref is trying to pull Hammer back and doesn’t see Jack grab the guitar and jab it in Hammer’s throat. That gets the pin at 4:07. After the match, Jack tries to get more punishment in, but Hammer fights back and slingshot suplexes him on the ramp. Ouch. *3/4

  • Jim Ross calls Eric Bischoff at the “medical facility” in Savannah. We know Bischoff is there because there is a map of Georgia with a red dot where Savannah is. Bischoff has no hard news, but an orderly came out and gave him a “thumbs up.” Oh, Eric, you know he was just complimenting you on your totally bitchin’ hair.
  • Recap of the Enforcers smashing Barry Windham’s hand in the car door.
  • WCW Tag Team Titles: The Enforcers vs. Dustin Rhodes & A Mystery Partner.
    Barry Windham takes himself out of the match, saying he needs reconstructive surgery on his hand. Instead, some guy in a dragon outfit walks down the ramp. Windham and Rhodes yank off the costume to reveal — Ricky Steamboat! Arn and Larry’s tantrum is a sight to behold. “NOOOOT RICKY STEAMBOAT!” The Enforcers yank him into the corner, but that proves to be a mistake as Ricky DESTROYS them with chops. Atomic drop to Arn. Dustin comes in, and the faces clean house to blow the roof off the place. Good Lord, Arn’s “what the hell is happening” look is awesome. He tells Larry, “He’s just a man! He’s just a man!” Now, *that* is how you put someone over. Larry jumps back in, but they go to work on his arm, which Larry sells like he’s been shot. Arn tags in and rakes Dustin’s. Dustin fires back with elbows and clears the ring again. Again, the crowd is freaking out. Finally, Larry suckers Ricky into chasing him and draws him right into Arn Anderson. The Enforcers take over on offense. An epic sunset flip battle takes Arn over, but he tags on the way down. *Everything* is contentious here. Sometimes, that’s the difference between bad and good or good and great. Fantastic sequence sees the Enforcers trade off on a Boston Crab. Steamboat crawls to the tag, but Arn jumps in and distracts the ref. D’oh! Steamer atomic drops Arn, but Arn’s head knocks him on the bridge of the nose. Arn recovers and goes up, but Steamboat gets his feet up. Arn yells for Zbyszko to cut off the tag, but it’s too late. DUSTIN IS A HOUSE OF FIRE! He bulldogs Arn and tags Ricky in one motion, so Ricky goes up and hits the crossbody for the win and the titles at 14:50. Amazing tag match. One of the best you will ever see. A quality “mystery partner” payoff. Nuclear crowd heat. Fantastic pacing. Unparalleled selling from the heels. A nearly perfect match. *****
  • After a commercial, Ross and Tony say the Enforcers demand a rematch because they signed to meet Rhodes and Windham not Rhodes and Steamboat.
  • Highlights of incoming Jushin Lyger.
  • Paul E. Dangerously disowns the actions of Lex Luger and Madusa. However, if Sting can’t wrestle, Rude will happily accept the U.S. Title by forfeit.
  • Eric Bischoff rejoins us from the “medical facility” and tells Sting about the clause in the contract that says he forfeits the title. Sting steals an ambulance (all offscreen, mind you) and heads back to the arena. Eric, do you have any info on Todd Champion?
  • WCW Light-Heavyweight Title: Brian Pillman vs. Johnny B. Badd (w/Teddy Long).
    Badd had trouble making weight, we’re told, even though the weight limit is now 236. Pillman starts hot with a backdrop and a dropkick over the top. Badd reverses a piledriver to a backdrop, and he gets his knees up to block a splash. Pillman battles back but eats a flying clothesline. Badd hits his shitty super sunset flip. Does he *ever* make it over the top on that? Teddy Long inexplicably has the ref tied up, though, so Badd argues with him. Pillman rolls Badd up from behind and gets the cheap win at 4:20. Not a bad match, but it looked like they were rushing to a clichéd finish. After the match, Badd nails Long to turn babyface. **

  • U.S. Title: Sting vs. Rick Rude (w/Paul E. Dangerously.
    Paul E. gets on the mic and rants about what a bastard Sting is for letting all his fans down. Of course, Sting pulls up outside just in time and returns to the ring before being disqualified. Rude charges to meet him and gets press slammed. Sting’s knee buckles, but he makes it back to the ring. He catches Rude coming off the top and clotheslines him over. Rude finally gets his bearings, though, and wraps Sting’s leg around the post. Sting powers out of the Rude Awakening and slugs Rude back against the ropes. Rude bounces off, though, and accidentally clips Sting’s knee as he plays to the crowd. Cool. Dangerously clocks Sting with the cellphone, which gets two. Sting goes after Dangerously, so Rude just clips him and gets the pin at around 4:00-ish (didn’t hear an opening bell). Not a great match, but the angle surrounding it is the important thing. **

  • Dangerously admits to a conspiracy and gloats because Jim Herd and WCW has to answer to Rude. All they needed was Rude pretending he was actually still working for the WWF and they would have beaten the nWo to the punch by five years.
  • WCW Heavyweight Title: Lex Luger (w/Harley Race) vs. Rick Steiner (w/Scott Steiner).
    This was supposed to be Luger against Ron Simmons, but Simmons was injured. Don’t worry, though. Luger still sandbags the match like he’s wrestling Ron Simmons. Man, did Luger ever waste his first big run with the title or what? Rick gets the call because Scott’s still injured and Rick has nothing better to do. Here’s the match: Circle, Luger gets knocked down, circle, Luger gets knocked down, circle. Rick tosses him around like a ragdoll for a while to at least make things interesting. Rick gets crotched at some point, but by now my eyes are crossed. Rick eventually reverses a suplex to come back and hits the top-rope bulldog. ONE, TWO, THRE—Luger gets his foot on the ropes. Belly-to-belly superplex, but Scott catches Mr. Hughes coming in. The ref is distracted by all this, so Luger knocks Rick goofy with the belt and gets the pin at 11:32. Another in a string of bad Luger matches, which is sad because he was a hard worker when he didn’t have the title. Maybe he was burned out by the politics. *
  • The 411: This one is sort of in the middle in that there is a lot of crap on the card, and only one really good match (but what a great match it is!). The segments with Sting and Paul E. Dangerously, though, put this over the top to a mild recommendation. Definitely try to see the tag match, though.

    Mild thumbs up.

    Final Score:  6.5   [ Average ]  legend

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