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Dark Pegasus Video Review: Insurrextion 2001

May 29, 2008 | Posted by J.D. Dunn
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Dark Pegasus Video Review: Insurrextion 2001  

Insurrextion 2001
by J.D. Dunn

  • May 5, 2001
  • Live from London, England.
  • Your hosts are Michael Cole and Paul Heyman.

  • In the back, Commissioner William Regal announces that the whole card has been reshuffled. Vince McMahon questions Regal’s thinking. Regal tells Vince that Linda McMahon made him do it.
  • Opening Match: Eddy Guerrero vs. Grandmaster Sexay.
    Eddy jumps GMS from behind and puts on his glasses. Sexay comes back with a powerslam. A missile dropkick puts Eddy on the floor, but Sexay stops to dance and gets blindsided. What an idiot! Sexay comes back with clotheslines and launches Eddy’s face into the turnbuckle. A boot to the chin gets two. Sexay hits a sloppy powerbomb and goes up for the Hip Hop Drop. Eddy avoids but gets slammed off the top. Sexay misses a charge and crotches himself, allowing Eddy to roll him up and put his feet on the ropes for the win at 4:31. *1/2

  • In the back, Triple H and Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley flirt. Hunter isn’t sweating the Undertaker.
  • The Hollys & Molly Holly vs. Perry Saturn, Dean Malenko (w/Terri).
    Terri weasels out of the match as it was supposed to be a six-person tag. That turns it into a 3-on-2. Hardcore and Saturn go at it for a while. This was during the Perry the Fabulous Metrosexual period for Saturn. Perry fires off a T-Bone Suplex, but the flying elbowdrop misses. Crash hits Saturn with a huracanrana, and the match breaks down. Terri and Molly get into a catfight, distracting the ref long enough for Saturn to hit Crash with the Three-Handled Moss-Covered Family Gredunza (or “credenza,” if you prefer) at 5:38. **

  • William Regal is happy to be back among civilization.
  • We get a clip of Big Show dismantling and injuring Test.
  • Big Show calls out Test to raise his hand and officially forfeit the match. Test comes out but refuses, so Show sideslams him and starts stomping on his ribs. The refs finally drag Test out. Show calls out anyone who wants to get them some, which usually means that no one will answer and Show will walk out with that “I thought so” look on his face. Instead…
  • The Big Show vs. Bradshaw.
    Big pop for the Shaw. Oddly enough, this would be a main event match four years later. Bradshaw hits a flying shoulderblock and blocks the chokeslam. Show grabs a chair, but Test returns and boots it into his face. Bradshaw adds the Clothesline from Hell and picks up the win at 3:20. 1/2*

  • Steve Austin thinks the Undertaker is stupid to ask for a match with the Two-Man Powertrip.
  • Four-team Elimination: Edge & Christian vs. X-Factor (w/Albert) vs. The Hardyz vs. The Dudley Boyz.
    This is the usual good three-way stuff between the Z-teamz. Oh, and then there’s X-Factor. Jeff hits a crossbody on Edge for two. X-Pac tags in, and X-Factor isolates Matt. He takes the face full of Pac balls but comes back with a double clothesline. Jeff gets the hot tag and cleans house on X-Factor. He gives E&C a shot just because they’re Edge & Christian. The Poetry in Motion misses as the match breaks down. X-Pac eats the Twist of Fate. Albert tries to help clandestinely, but he winds up squashing X-Pac. Oops. Jeff adds the Swanton at 5:41. X-Factor drag Matt to the floor and work him over, allowing Christian to sneak in and Unprettier Jeff at 6:01. That leaves E&C versus the Dudz. They isolate D-Von and work over his back. D-Von blocks a superplex and hits a flying clothesline. A false tag leads to more doubleteamery by E&C. D-Von hits Saving Grace to make the tag finally. Bubba sideslams Edge and gives Christian the Bubba Bomb. WAZZZZUUUUP DROP! E&C try to dropkick the table back into the Dudz faces, but they get clotheslined by instead. Rhyno runs down and Gores Bubba. Edge rolls over and gets the pin at 13:20. Rhyno tries to set up a table, but Spike Dudley makes the save, and they put Rhyno through the table instead. Like a lot of four-way matches, the first two teams were just there to collect a check and get eliminated early so they could focus on the two teams they wanted in the first place. **1/4

  • Kurt Angle promises to take back his medals.
  • The Right to Censor (they’re still around?) come out to blast the UK for selling pictures of the Page 3 girls to children. Um, actually that’s a pretty good point. They cancel the Women’s Battle Royal because the WWF is filled with whores. Um, actually that’s a pretty good point. In fact, Ivory calls out Jacqueline, Trish Stratus and Lita and calls them all “slappers.” In retaliation, they strip Ivory and send her running. Trish seduces Stevie, and they pants him. Lita adds the Litasault. Well, this was a lengthy patch of nothing.
  • 2/3 Falls: Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle.
    First Fall: Just when you think you’ve seen all the Benoit vs. Angle matches there are, one sneaks up on you. Now all I need is that OVW one. They fight over a waistlock early, and Angle nails Benoit in the face with an elbow. They take it to the mat, and Kurt bails to avoid the Crippler Crossface. Heyman compares him to Linus without his blanket now that Benoit has Angle’s medals. Back in, Kurt tries a schoolboy, but Benoit reverses to a Crippler Crossface. Angle makes the ropes and hits a belly-to-belly suplex. Benoit comes back with Triple Verticals (years before Eddy made them a regular part of his repertoire). ROLLING GERMANS! That sets up the Swandive Headbutt at 7:43.

    Second Fall: Angle fakes an injury and attacks Benoit from behind. A belly-to-belly superplex gets two. Benoit blocks a charge but runs right into another belly-to-belly. He counters another suplex for two. A DDT plants Angle for a double KO tease. Benoit slips out of the Angleslam and goes for more ROLLING GERMANS! This time, the Swandive Headbutt misses. Angle grabs the Anklelock, but Benoit reverses and turns it into the Crippler Crossface. Angle reverses and charges, but Benoit snaps him down into a small package to win two straight at 14:24. HOLY CRAP! TWO STRAIGHT! MAN UP! Benoit takes two straight from Angle?! I like the booking, but dammit, I wanted another fall. After the match, Benoit reveals he’s been keeping the medals in his tights. Ew. ***1/2

  • In the back, Debra refuses to take the Two-Man Powertrip’s drink order because she’s not their waitress. That’s no way to earn a tip, Sweet Cheeks.
  • Queen’s Cup: William Regal vs. Chris Jericho.
    Not sure if the Queen’s Cup has any value other than for fans of Freddie Mercury’s ball-sweat. Jericho chops Regal down, prompting Cole to wonder which of the Canadian Chrises has the harder chops. Regal blocks the early Walls of Jericho and starts working him over with his Europeanness. Jericho powers out of a wristlock and hits a huracanrana for two. Regal catapults him and tosses him with a full-rotation German Suplex. To the floor, Regal tosses Jericho into the post. Back in, Regal grabs a chinlock for a while, but Jericho hits an enzuigiri. A missile dropkick gets two for Jericho. Jericho blocks the Regal Neckbreaker, but his Lionsault finds the knees. Regal backdrop suplexes him for two, but Jericho reverses a German Suplex to the Walls of Jericho at 14:47. These guys never had good chemistry for whatever reason. This was way too much time for them to fill. After the match, Regal attacks Jericho from behind and destroys the Queen’s Cup. **

  • WWF Heavyweight Title: Steve Austin & Triple H (w/Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley) vs. The Undertaker.
    The co-champs-for-a-night stall as Undertaker grabs a chair and fends them off. Finally, Hunter jumps Taker from behind, and Austin stomps a mudhole. Taker fights them off and goes for the chokeslam, but Hunter saves. Austin goes for a piledriver on the ramp but gets backdropped. Taker brawls with HHH back to the ring. Taker backdrops him and hits the Old-School Ropewalk Forearm. It only gets one. Taker DDTs him, but Austin makes the save. Austin drops a few elbows but gets caught in the chokeslam. Hunter saves again. Steph distracts the ref while Austin grabs a chair and WALLOPS Taker in the face. That only gets two. HHH picks him apart and slaps on a sleeper. Taker fights out of it and hits a flying clothesline. Austin gets the tag but runs right into a sleeper from Taker. Austin backdrops him but gets caught coming off the second rope. Taker cleans house on both guys. To the floor, Taker catches HHH coming off the apron and chokeslams him through the Spanish Table. Back in, Austin goes low to counter to the chokeslam. A second attempt hits, though, but Taker wanders around for a while before covering. Thankfully, Hunter is there to scream, “Cover him,” before coming in at the last second to prevent the title change. Vince McMahon powerwalks down. He swings a chair but accidentally takes out Hunter. Chokeslam to Vince. Chokeslam to HHH. ONE, TWO, THREE! (17:11). Oh, but Austin retains his title because he wasn’t the one who got pinned. I guess the message here is that Kane is a huge drag because when it was an even match, HHH and Austin were victorious. The match was you’re your basic Austin-Undertaker match with Hunter occasionally coming in to get his ass kicked on Austin’s behalf. **3/4
  • The 411: This is just a combination of Backlash and Judgment Day with a bunch of thrown-together Raw and Smackdown matches. It's worth picking up if you're a Benoit/Angle completist. Otherwise, don't bother.

    Thumbs down.

    Final Score:  5.0   [ Not So Good ]  legend

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