Fargo: A Smackdown Live Story

This is a true story.
The events depicted in this column
took place in the WWE Universe in 2017.
At the request of the survivors,
the names have been changed (not really).
Out of respect for the dead,
the rest has been told exactly
as it occurred.

Shane is a millionaire who has been handed many things by his millionaire father, including his own wrestling promotion. The name of that promotion is SmackDown. In order to prove to his father that he made the right choice and prove to the boys that he’s just like them, he participates in wrestling matches. He not only participates, he puts his body on the line. He gets thrown through glass and falls from high places. He doesn’t need to do these things. But he does. Just to prove himself.

Kevin is a fighter who has been handed very little. He has worked hard to get to his spot. He does not like that Shane has been handed everything or that Shane thinks he’s a wrestler just because he falls from high places. Kevin believes that Shane has it in for him.

Kevin and Shane had a match. Shane could have won that match, but he felt the need to jump from a high place.

Sami entered to save Kevin. Sami and Kevin used to be best friends. We never saw this for ourself. Our first memory of Sami and Kevin was Kevin slamming Sami’s head onto the ramp. But, trust us, they were best friends. They have not seen eye-to-eye since the head-slamming incident in 2014.

Sami saved Kevin because he too was fed up with Shane pretending to be a wrestling.

Shane is now angry at Sami and Kevin. He wants to make their life a living hell. He has decided to hold them back, put them in unfavorable situations, and threatening to fire them.

The only reason Sami and Kevin are not unemployed is because of Daniel, Shane’s partner in the company.

Daniel is similar to Kevin and Sami. He worked hard for everything he got and was constantly held back by millionaires, who just so happen to be related to Shane.

Daniel is not happy with how Shane is treating Kevin and Sami. He sees Shane going down a path similar to that of his father, sister, and brother-in-law. But Shane does not see the issue. He is drunk with power and believes he needs to punish Sami and Kevin for their treacherous ways of being friends.

Shane’s latest power move is to stack the deck against Kevin and Sami and holding their job in the balance. He is forcing them to compete in a tag team match against Randy, a multi-time world champion who has also been handed everything in his life, and Shinsuke, a rockstar. Shane has appointed himself as the special guest referee.

Daniel, once again, is not pleased.

End Scene.

If you read that story and thought, “Shane is kind of a dick.” Then, I’m sorry. You will never be employed by WWE. You see, Shane is the person you’re supposed to root for in this story. Sami and Kevin are the bad guys who cost Shane a wrestling match and interfered in another match, but had no actual bearing on the outcome. They should be punished by the millionaire playing wrestler.

And Daniel should go along with Shane’s plan because Shane is the man with the money. Even though Daniel was put in a similar position as Kevin and Sami years ago, he’s now supposed to be thankful that he’s on the other side. And if Daniel doesn’t go along with Shane’s plan, he’s just as bad as Kevin and Sami.

The actual story makes sense. The reactions that WWE is looking for is the issue. Positioning Daniel as a pseudo-heel shows a complete lack of awareness not seen since…they positioned Daniel as a mid-carder who was held down by the millionaire authority figures.