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Hamilton’s wXw We Love Wrestling: Kutenholz Review 08.29.20

September 4, 2020 | Posted by Ian Hamilton
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Hamilton’s wXw We Love Wrestling: Kutenholz Review 08.29.20  

Why does it feel like everything I’m writing these days references the pandemic in some form? The morning this show aired, wXw announced that they’d cleared the decks and moved all events they’d had planned for 2020 – for the obvious reasons, and confirmed doubts over 2021’s dates. I mean, it’d be foolish to even try and promote shows with advance dates anywhere in Europe at this point, given the restrictions on hand.

So, for what seems to be the final time this year, wXw’s in front of a paying crowd outside the Festhalle in Kutenholz – with the ring under a canopy just in case of inclement weather.

Quick Results

Emil Sitoci pinned Rambo in 7:15 (***)
Baby Allison submits Levaniel in 3:35 (NR)
Abdul and Aytac pinned Anil Marik and Vincent Heisenberg in 8:30 (***)
Ivan Kiev pinned The Rotation in 8:50 (**¾)
Prince Ahura and Maggot pinned Jurn Simmons and Marius al-Ani in 11:00 to retain the wXw World Tag Team Championships (***½)
Metehan pinned Avalanche in 13:20 to retain the wXw Shotgun Championship (***½)
Mike Schwarz and Alpha Kevin pinned Norman Harras and Bobby Gunns in 20:30 (***)

We open up inside the Festhalle as the Pretty Bastards are celebrating their day off. Except they drove the six hours to Kutenholz, and there’s no shisha. They’re joined by Jurn Simmons, who tells them they’ve a match tonight… but he doesn’t know who his tag team partner is. The Bastards check their phones to get the news… Marius al-Ani rocks up with the same news, but he doesn’t know who his partner is. Oh, Andy. The penny drops for Marius, who doesn’t seem thrilled, despite Jurn vowing to follow his lead.

Andy Jackson is on commentary as he runs down the card for tonight… he’ll be joined by Sebastian Hollmichel who is also doing ring announcing tonight!

The outside venue looks really picturesque, and will no doubt provide a nice backdrop as the sun sets.

Emil Sitoci vs. Rambo

We last saw Rambo at the start of the Shotgun 2020 series, while Andy rightly points out Sitoci as a wXw veteran.

Rambo charges at Sitoci at the bell, squashing him into the corner before a side headlock was used to restrain the Dutchman. The obligatory shove-off led to a shoulder tackle, which Rambo scored with, only for Sitoci to return with armdrags, a dropkick, and then a clothesline to knock Rambo to the outside.

Sitoci follows out with a plancha that saw him follow through Rambo as he went into the guard rails, but Rambo’s back to shove Sitoci into the side of the ring as the pair brawled around the ringside area. A spinebuster onto the edge of the ring keeps Emil down, but they head back to the ring, where he took Sitoci back into the corners before he missed a charge.

Emil heads up top and scores with a crossbody for a near-fall, before Rambo caught him with a tiltawhirl slam off the ropes for a two-count. An elbow drop keeps Sitoci down, as does a pendulum backbreaker, before he drove some knees into the back as Rambo continued to stretch the former Shotgun champion. Sitoci tries to fight back, but Rambo just boots him down before an attempt at a package piledriver was fought out of. A ‘rana from Sitoci gets a near-fall, as he began to build up a head of steam with a clothesline, before a side Russian legsweep led to a split-legged moonsault for another two-count.

Rambo’s back with a headbutt to the gut, then a knee lift before a pop-up powerbomb saw him come real close… but Sitoci responds with a Fireman’s carry gutbuster, dropping Rambo as a top rope elbow finds its mark for the win. A perfectly fine opener, with Sitoci having to overcome Rambo’s size and power advantage – but in the end the 1-2 punch of the gutbuster and elbow drop was enough for the win. ***

They replay part of the promo from Bobby Gunns at the end of the first Shotgun 2020 season, as he ponders what to do next after headlining 16 Carat gold for two years in a row. His idea? Giving us a present in the form of the era of Bobby Gunns…

Das Himmelsschloß

We’re outdoors, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be a heavenly castle! He reminds us he’s “in a relationship” with Amale, and that gets him a mixture of boos and love hearts. His guest is the XXL-Wirt, Dieter Murck, and I feel like I need context here.

He’s got a mic as he wants to talk to Levaniel about love… telling him that “this whole love and wrestling thing is something you should probably do at home.” Keep it PG, Wirt! He tells Levaniel that they want to see a fight in the ring… and that’s the cue for Baby Allison.

Levaniel vs. Baby Allison

The bell starts the match as Allison offers a handshake, but she just slaps Levaniel, then leapt on his back for some punches.

Levaniel’s annoyed, but he just gets slapped again… and again… before Allison dropped down and low bridged him to the outside. She licks his cheek before scoring with a leaping DDT, following up with a stinkface in the corner. Levaniel found no liebe in that.

He hits back, throwing Allison to the mat for a pin, before he teased a Stinkface of his own… but apparently it’s not worth it, so he clubs Allison down. A trip to the top rope led to Levaniel getting caught as Allison looked for a superplex, before she made do with a press slam instead. Kick, wham, Stunner… and Levaniel falls head first into a headscissors submission, which makes him tap instantly. Way too short, but it’s a nice win for Allison as wXw look to normalise intergender wrestling.
They replay Norman Harras acting as an envoy for Bobby’s Bastards, with the two groups dividing up wXw for their own means.

EZEL (Abdul & Aytac) vs. Anil Marik & Vincent Heisenberg

Heisenberg and Marik are repping the Academy here, with Avalanche following them to ringside with a trusty notepad. Now a lot of us won’t feel so left out doing the same at shows…

Heisenberg and Abdul start the match, but it’s Heisenberg who drew first blood, flinging Abdul out of the ring with a gutwrench suplex. Aytac tags in, but he’s knocked down with a clothesline as he too was sent packing… with Metehan berating him as well. Abdul returns, but their attempt at double-teaming earns them a noggin knocker, before clotheslines and slams left the EZEL lads in trouble.

After losing his footing, Heisenberg tagged out as Marik looked to keep the momentum going, landing a clothesline before Vincent’s big boot got a two-count. A side headlock keeps Abdul down, but he powers up and stomps on Marik’s foot… only for the resulting tag to lead to Aytac taking some armdrags as EZEL really couldn’t get going.

A slingblade drops Aytac for a two-count, before he pulled Marik’s hair to get himself an opening. A distraction from Abdul led to some cheating, with Metehan choking away behind the ref’s back – which drew the ire of Avalanche at ringside. Back in the ring, an Anarşi double PK sandwiched Marik for a two-count, before some stomps kept Marik on the mat.

Aytac tags in at the second time of asking as EZEL continued to wrench away on Marik’s wrist, before he flipped free and caught Aytac with an enziguiri. A half crab quickly has Marik back in trouble though, but he’s able to power out and tag Heisenberg back in to clear house with clotheslines and front kicks. Heisenberg’s German suplex flings Aytac before he’s lit up with chops in the corner. Abdul tries to make a save, but he just angers Heisenberg, who scoops him up for a double-team slam. Marik tags in, right as Metehan and Avalanche get up on the apron to argue, but Metehan low bridges Heisenberg to the outside, with Heisenberg tweaking his knee on the outside… leaving Marik alone, as a missed frog splash opened it up for a German suplex as Aytac got the win. A solid tag match, with Metehan and Avalanche’s involvement not really overshadowing it between the bells. ***

Post-match, Avalanche saves Marik from a beatdown afterwards, clotheslining Abdul and Aytac away before he took the mic and issues a Bret Hart-ish promo (think 1997), where he challenged Metehan to change out of his “€20 Primark suit” and into his gear for a match later on tonight.

Let’s just say Avalanche had to make it personal, bringing Metehan’s mum into it in order to get his wish, as Dipsy and Laa Laa had to calm Metehan down.


Ivan Kiev vs. The Rotation

It’s a first singles match for Ivan Kiev since he was exiled with a loss to Lucky Kid last November… and it’s completely dark out now.

We start with shoulder tackles as Rotation knocked Kiev into the ropes for a dropkick, before a springboard armdrag was pushed off, with Rotation instead getting met with a back suplex as Kiev picked up a two-count. A head kick misses from Kiev, as Rotation returned with a springboard headscissors takedown, before the lucha springboard armdrag… ended with him getting crotched in the ropes.

A springboard dropkick from Kiev takes Rotation to the outside, with a baseball slide keeping him there. Back inside, Kiev gets a very nonchalant one-count, as Rotation tried to fight back, only to get punted in the ribs. Elbows to the back of the neck keep Rotation down, before a mudhole’s stomped on him in the corner.

Kiev dumps Rotation with a Snake Eyes in the corner, before he spun him to the mat with a front kick… a slam into a facebuster followed, then a Cloverleaf, before Rotation fought his way free. The fightback continued as he floated out of suplexes, then chopped Kiev into the corner ahead of a tiltawhirl DDT.

That took Kiev outside for a tope, before he was rushed back inside as a springboard missile dropkick found its mark for another two-count. Rotation heads up top, but he’s pushed down as Kiev dropped him arm-first across the top rope, before a flying leg lariat almost got him the win. Kiev looks to put Rotation away with a Purge bomb, but Rotation slips out for a dropkick, before he came up empty on a 450 splash… allowing Kiev to hit a Purge Bomb for the win. It’s a first win back for Kiev, as Rotation’s post-Carat slump continues. **¾

wXw World Tag Team Championship: Jurn Simmons & Marius Al-Ani vs. Pretty Bastards (Prince Ahura & Maggot) (c)

If Jurn and Marius were a tag team, what would they be called? These pre-match honour rolls always remind me of the era of wacky tag team names in wXw…

Prince Ahura seemed a little put out at the mostly-male crowd in Kutenholz, while their and Jurn’s playing to the crowd for so long really wound up al-Ani. Until he tried it, and got himself cheered. It’s been a while! The Bastards attack their challengers as they were playing to the crowd, but there’s a turnaround as they’re met with mounted punches before the bell, before Jurn and Marius used the Bastards for squatting practise.

Eventually the Bastards got free, shoving Jurn and Marius into each other… so of course they argue as the match eventually started. A hiptoss from Jurn tosses Maggot across the ring as the pair used Maggot as a tackling dummy, slamming him to the mat for fun in a game of “Can You Top This?”

Marius traps Maggot in a headscissor submission that got Baby Allison the win earlier, but he gets to the ropes for safety. Jurn’s back to try the same routine, but Marius wasn’t impressed… so Jurn tags him back in as they trade stalling suplexes. Marius: ten seconds, Jurn: twenty seconds. Of course, Marius blamed his hurt shoulder.

Maggot holds the ropes to avoid running into back elbows, but he unwisely runs into the pair of them… and bounced off the challengers. He then got wise and worked Marius’ taped-up shoulder, tagging in Ahura in the process as the Bastards strung together a combination of moves, leading to a near-fall from a spear. Maggot’s back with a headbutt off the top rope to al-Ani’s arm, while a flying stomp from Ahura kept the focus going.

A kick to the back gets Ahura a one-count, so he grounds Marius with a front facelock, nibbling Marius’ arm behind the ref’s back as the champions cut corners. Double-teaming keeps al-Ani in the corner, before Marius hit a back suplex to free himself of Maggot. He can’t quite tag out to Jurn, as Maggot drops an elbow before Ahura returned for more double-teaming.

Maggot saves Ahura from Marius’ kip-up kick, as Ahura then came back with a low dropkick of his own for a two-count. Ahura knocks Jurn off the apron, but loses sight of Marius, who returned with an Exploder… then clocked Maggot with a spinning heel kick as Jurn fought to get back to his feet. Eventually he does so, wearing Ahura’s bandanna, and he tags in to properly clean house.

I’ve missed this monster of Jurn. He tosses the bandanna at Ahura before spearing Ahura out of his no-shoes… he Big Daves up, but Marius blind tags in as Jurn looked to go for a piledriver. That led to fresh dissension, especially as Jurn tagged in after a superman punch to land a pumphandle slam on Ahura for a two-count.

A spinebuster dumps Maggot, before a second pumphandle slam was countered into a cutter by Maggot. He’s not legal – Ahura is… and he nearly wins with a big splash off the top. al-Ani breaks that up, then scored a step-up elbow drop on Maggot before throwing him outside… a Superman punch to Ahura looked to set up for a Massive Kick, but Ahura ducks… it wipes out al-Ani, and left Jurn open for a roll-up as Ahura snatched the win. This was massively entertaining, with the “parejas increibles” working well at first before egos got the better of them. ***½

Backstage, Marius is pissed because he’s not got his personal interviewer. So instead, he commands a cameraman to film his rants, complaining about Absolute Andy booking his partner, before blaming Jurn for the loss.

wXw Shotgun Championship: Avalanche vs. Metehan (c)

This came around as a result of Avalanche’s challenge earlier in the evening. Always bring your gear, aspiring wrestlers! Anil Marik and Vincent Heisenberg were ringside with Avalanche, looking to neutralise EZEL – a trio that’s taught more and more English-speakers what “verpisst dich” means!

Metehan attacks Avalanche during the introductions, throwing him outside as he was still upset with how Avalanche brought his mum up earlier in the evening. Avalanche throws fists back though, before dropping Metehan over and across the guard rails as the brawl raged on.

Eventually they make it back inside, as the match officially starts with Avalanche continuing to club away on Metehan. Metehan fought back with elbows, which seemed to impress Marik at ringside, before Metehan missed an overhand chop… with Avalanche just hiptossing him back down.

A bodyslam dumps Metehan ahead of a big splash, before Beeles throw hurled the champion across the ring. Avalanche charges Metehan off the apron, before he rolled him back inside to continue the beating with body blows in the corner. Metehan slips outside for respite, and it draws in Avalanche who’s met with some elbows before the challenger threw him into the turnbuckles.

A wild clothesline misses, allowing Metehan to hang Avalanche by the back of the neck on the top rope, and that seemed to create an opening. Referee Tassilo Jung checks on Avalanche, who had to fight off Abdul and Aytac as Tas was occupied with Marik and Heisenberg… before Metehan shoved Avalanche into the ring post.

Metehan slaps his goons for interfering, as they returned to the ring as Metehan looked to take control. A neck twist aggravates Avalanche some more, as did a kick to the back, before Avalanche tried to fight back… only to get kicked down again. It gets Metehan a two-count, as the champion started to measure his attacks, catching Avalanche with a shot to the gut, then a Flatliner into the buckles.

Heading up top, Metehan flies for a missile dropkick to the back, only for Avalanche to return fire with a fallaway slam. Both men were left laying, but get back to their feet as Avalanche continued to hulk up with right hands, building up to clotheslines before Metehan elbowed out of a Samoan drop. A big back body drop follows, as does a Samoan drop, before Metehan ducked a ripcord lariat and began to chop his way back in.

An eye rake stops Avalanche too, before Metehan feigned an eye injury after initially blocking a throw into the buckle. I LOVE Tass when he’s reacting to these kind of things. Avalanche seemed to fall for it though, as Metehan tried to pull him into a BABO Lock (a crossface)… only for Avalanche to squirm his way back into the ropes for a break. More kicks from Metehan set up for a slingshot DDT for a near-fall, but Avalanche fires back with splashes in the corner and a fallaway slam…

Avalanche goes for a Dreissker bomb, but Aytac and Abdul distract, allowing Metehan to powerbomb Avalanche out of the corner before the Evil Eye (a flip stunner) gets the win. Really good stuff this, with Metehan originally berating his guys for interfering – but of course, they were eventually the difference maker as Avalanche couldn’t quite win the Shotgun title for a third time. ***½

They replayed the first part of the profile piece on Mike Schwarz from last week…

Bobby Gunns & Norman Harras vs. Die Prügelbrüder (Mike Schwarz & Alpha Kevin)

We’re on the road to a Schwarz/Gunns title match – and that means Bobby Gunns is tagging with a Norman Harras who’s been browbeaten somewhat on recent Shotguns. Nice work from Sebastian going all Tony Chimel on the “superstar” there… Harras grabs Schwarz’s beer before the match… so Bobby Gunns could put out his cigarette in it. That’s sacrilege!

Gunns and Kevin start, throwing us back to Shotguns gone by, as they start with shoulder tackles as Gunns had trouble moving Kevin… so he just boots him instead. That sparks more shoulder tackles, before Kevin blistered Gunns with a chop as some body blows took the champion into the corner.

Kevin high-fives Tas as the referee tries to separate them in the corner, before he stung Gunns with some Machine Gun chops and an eventual shoulder charge. Alpha Kevin’s on a high not seen since he was talking about eliminating Chris Hero at Shortcut to the Top…

Some kicks from Gunns take Kevin to the corner, as tags bring in Schwarz and Harras, with Norman wanting to go after the big lad. Rabbit punches keep Schwarz in the corner, but Mike switches around and swarms him with punches of his own, before a sidewalk slam dropped Harras for a one-count. Kevin’s back in to help put the boots to Harras, before a slam from Schwarz left Norman down as Kevin was dumped onto him with a uranage for a two-count.

Schwarz hangs Harras in a Tree of Woe – then scares Gunns off as he tried to make a save. Kevin tosses the champion outside before a cannonball crashed into Harras for an eventual two-count. Kevin heads up top, but took too long as Harras crotches him – while Gunns rushed the ring to knock Schwarz off the apron for a PK on the apron.

Harras puts a beating to Kevin in the ring as Gunns threw Schwarz into the guard rails, giving us two brawls to keep track of. Gunns and Kevin tag in as Bobby went after Kevin’s left arm, torquing it for a stomp to the elbow before the champ antagonised Schwarz with an even more despicable spit. As the ref tried to calm down Schwarz, there’s some double-teaming, as Harras came in to keep Kevin on the deck.

A roll-up from Kevin came to nought because Schwarz distracted the ref again, as Harras came back with a clothesline and some right hands. Kevin’s knocked down with a dropkick, before Bobby returned to keep wearing him down with uppercuts. Kevin tries to respond, elbowing away Harras but Gunns pulls Schwarz off the apron to stop a tag, as the beating continued with a German suplex for a near-fall.

Gunns returns to focus on the arm with an abdominal stretch – complete with some trickery from Norman Harras behind the ref’s back. I LOVE that sort of cheating, especially the eventual pay-off. Tas kicks the arm away when it’s caught, which gave Kevin a boost as he caught Gunns with a clothesline before making the tag out.

Schwarz runs wild with clotheslines before inverted and regular atomic drops shook Harras’ spine. A back suplex follows for a two-count, before Harras ate a Snake Eyes and a big boot for a two-count. Harras leaps out of the Schicht im Schacht chokeslam, before tagging in Gunns for the big staredown… which sparked back-and-forth strikes, leading to a hockey fight as they wheeled away on each other with punches.

Gunns edges ahead with some unanswered punches, but he had to fight out of Schicht im Schacht before Norman Harras ran in and got caught. Bobby leaps too, but he’s caught as Schwarz hit a fallaway slam/Samoan drop combo… then called for a double Schicht im Schacht. They break the chokeslam, but it’s Harras who dumps Schwarz with a front kick, then a diving European uppercut.

Alpha Kevin comes in to fold Harras in two with a package piledriver, before punches from Gunns led to a German suplex that took Kevin down for a PK. A superplex followed, but Kevin slaps his way free, then headbutted Bobby down to the mat… just as Harras returned to go for a superplex. He needs Bobby’s help though, but it’s Mike Schwarz who sparks the Tower of Doom, bringing his man down to earth in the process!

With all four men down, we nearly get a draw… but they narrowly beat the count as we go back to the four-way slugfest, leading to German suplexes from Bobby and Harras… only for clotheslines to provide instant receipts. That took Kevin and Bobby outside, leaving the way clear for Schwarz to catch Harras with Schicht im Schacht… and that’s enough to end a marathon main event! Harras looked real good on offence and defence here, but it’s a popular win for the Prügelbrüder, as Mike Schwarz continues his path towards a title match. ***

Next week it’s Shotgun 2020 in the Friday night slot: Emil Sitoci and Dirty Dragan get their tag team title match against the Pretty Bastards… while Alpha Kevin takes on Bobby Gunns in a “warm-up”. Senza Volto and Tristan Archer face off, plus Norman Harras enters das Himmelsschloß!

The final score: review Good
The 411
wXw more than delivered with as big a card as they’re currently able to put on, minus the WWE-contracted names and other imports. Running outdoors is a big ask - especially now we’re moving away from summer and towards winter, and wXw were able to pull off the show to their usual professional standards. If this is the last wXw show in a “normal” setting for the year, they at least went out on a high note!

article topics :

wXw, Ian Hamilton