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Jeremy’s Impact Wrestling Review 7.14.20
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Hello, friends! It’s time for more of that sweet, sweet Impact Wrestling action. I’m Jeremy, and as always you all know how this works. We’re less than a week away from Slammiversary, and Impact has a fair number of matches to give the go-home push to. We have a contract signing, a ten-woman tag team match and more tonight, so it’s get to it.
As a reminder, the GoFundMe for Larry’s daughters is still active and if you can make a donation, that would be awesome. Thank you so much to everyone who’s done so thus far.
* Previously on Impact: We get a look at Jordynne Grace’s win over Kimber Lee last week and Deonna’s taunt to her after the match. There’s also a recap of Sami Callihan vs. Josh Alexander and Ken Shamrock coming down to even the odds after Ethan Page got involved.
Ladies and Gentlemen — YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE! (AKA Title Sequence)
Kylie Rae, Susie, Alisha Edwards, Havok & Nevaeh vs.
Taya Valkyrie, Rosemary, Kimber Lee, Kiera Hogan & Tasha Steelz
Kimber, Kiera, and Tasha are already in the ring, so we get intros starting with Rosemary. Tasha is starting off for the heels, and she turns around right into a spear by Nevaeh. Havok tagged in, Tasha eats a backbreaker followed by a clothesline and then gets chucked back to the corner because Havok wants Kiera, who runs in and gets kicked in the gut. Knee to the face and she throws Kiera into the corner so she can take on more. Big boot to Taya, Kimber gets hit with a roundhouse kick and Rosemary is knocked off the apron. We’re already in chaos mode as Nevaeh clotheslines Kimber and Taya but eats Superkicks from Kiera and Steelz. Susie takes down the babyfaces with a senton dive off the apron and inside the ring, Alisha tells Havok to pick her up. Havok complies and Edwards is press slammed onto the heels on the outside. And now Kylie wants the tag, Havok dives through the ropes and then Kylie comes off the ropes but gets leveled by a clothesline from Taya! Taya is stomping Kylie on the inside as the fight continues outside the ring, snapmare and she chokes Rae against the ropes. She picks Kylie up, whips her into a back elbow from Rosemary followed by the Upside Down which she holds while Taya chops Kylie. Taya manhandles Kyle and pins for a two-count. Rosemary tagged in, scissor kick into a German suplex and Rosemary gets two. Taya back in and she throws Kylie into the turnbuckle, charges into the corner and then runs back, leaps in with a double knee for two. Kylie fighting back now, but Taya cuts her off and tags in Tasha. She beats on Kylie a bit and locks in a chinlock, but Rae is fighting back. She tries to whip Tasha into the corner, Steelz reverses and drags Kylie to the heel corner where she just gets pummeled. She’s trying to fight out but Kiera’s in now and she forces Kylie to the mat. She mocks the babyfaces and pulls Kylie back, tags in Kimber Lee. Snapmare into a kick to the back, and that’s a two-count as we go to break.
Back from break and Lee’s still in control of Kylie, suplex floats over to a two-count. A couple cocky kicks to the head but Kylie gets up, ducks a clothesline and tags in Susie! She dodges a kick, hits a few chops, Thesz press and punches and then she backs up, charges in but eats a boot. Lee to the second rope but Susie with an uppercut, she spiders up for an Arachnarana that gets two. Tasha breaks it up and she hits a cutter, Nevaeh with a German suplex on Tasha, Kiera with a kick to Nevaeh’s head. Havok in, hits a sidewalk slam but then takes a double spear from Taya and Rosemary. Alisha dives but the girls catch her, Alisha turns it into a double DDT and then gets kicked down by Kimber. Kylie in, flip dodges a clothesline, Susie gets Kimber up and hits the Panic Switch for three.
Winner: Kylie Rae, Susie, Alisha Edwards, Havok & Nevaeh (9:07)
Rating: ** 1/2
Thoughts: Strong match to start the show. Multi-person tag matches tend to lose quality if you get the participant count past six unless you have elimination rules, but this worked well. Kylie was a good face in peril, and we got pretty much nonstop action. Not a lot of storyline other than Susie foreshadowing the inevitable Su Yung return, but a pretty hot match to kick things off.
After the match, Susie is looking awfully close to turning into Su Yung, but Kylie comes in, not realizing, and congratulates her. Taya and Rosemary come in and start attacking Kylie and Susie, which turns into another massive brawl. Joey Mathews says they’re “beating the living life out of each other” which, uh, Joey? You doing okay there, pal?
* Josh and Madison talk about the Knockouts Gauntlet match and Rayne’s participation. Rayne notes she didn’t get the crap kicked out of her and has the advantage. We get a rundown of the Slammiversary card including the Impact Tag Title Match, Moose vs. Tommy Dreamer, Willie Mack vs. Chris Bey, Jordynne vs. Deonna, and the Impact World Championship match.
* We go to Dayton, Ohio where Madman Fulton is driving around with Ace Austin in the back. Ace asks what it is, and Fulton is pissed because they’re back in Dayton. Ace says Fulton’s on this journey because he wanted to be more than oVe and has to trust the process. They agree the odds are in their favor, but Ace has learned that sometimes you have to go back to where it started and train in the dirt. He asks of Fulton misses the old gym and Madman says no. Ace promises it’ll be worth it.
* Backstage, the arm-wrestling contest between Hernandez and Rhino that started is still ongoing having taken place in various spots. Moose is backstage and asks Hernandez and Rhino to be his tag team partner, but they’re busy. Moose says “All right” and gives Hernandez a little smack on the side as he walks off, which lets Rhino get the win. Hernandez isn’t gonna let Rhino take the money, and he says if he wants it, he has to win it outside.
* The Impact Flashback Moment of the week is Slammiversary 2013 with Suicide taking on Kenny King and Chris Sabin in Ultimate X, which sees Sabin pick up the win to capture the X-Division title.
XXXL vs. The Deaners
Please let this be quick. Cousin Jake and Larry D start off and lock up a couple of times, neither getting the edge. A third lockup and Larry turns it into a headlock. Jake gets them into the ropes and pushes Larry off, bodyblock and neither man is down. They charge into each other and Hake is staggered, second charge takes Jake down but Larry showboats enough for Jake to get up and hit a bodyslam. Cody tagged in, he’s whipped hard into Larry and Jake with a shoulder tackle. Cody gets slammed into Larry for two. Cody picks Larry up but takes a forearm and Acey gets tagged in for some clubbering blows. Cody into the ropes, he kicks Acey but Acey no-sells it and hits a hard clothesline. Cody picked up, snake eyes into the turnbuckle and a clothesline for two, which Jake breaks up. Acey pushes Jake back and pounces him into the corner. Cody picked up, Larry tagged in. Cody whipped into the ropes but he hangs on, tosses a charging Acey through the ropes and hits a big boot to Larry. Larry with strikes, Cody up on his shoulders but he gets the tag before getting sit-out powerbombed. Jake in and he rolls an unsuspecting Larry up for three.
Winner: (3:20)
Rating: * 1/2
Thoughts: This is as good a match as we could expect. I’m on record as not being an XXXL fan but they were used well in this match and looked more motivated than they have been in recent weeks, putting some more effort in. It barely had enough time to even get a rating, but that’s probably to its benefit.
Larry and Acey attack the Deaners after the bell and beat them down. They get Cousin Jake up, Acey to the second rope and it’s a Demolition Decapitation. The big guys stand tall.
* Backstage, Rohit Raju is working out as Moose comes up. He says he’s asked everyone to tag with him but they’re all jealous of him. He says Rohit is his last resort and Rohit isn’t too pleased he was the last pick. He berates Moose for assuming he’ll say yes, but when Moose asks if he’s in he says yes.
* Johnny Swinger and Chris Bey are backstage, and the Swingman is trying to hype his buddy up. He says he’s going to The Man to straighten things out and heads down the hallway, through a door to find the referee. He says the ref is screwing up his angle and Cancel Culture (are they still a thing after everything?) say he has every right to be at ringside because Swinger is Bey’s emotional support companion. He threatens a lawsuit, and the ref backs off and says Swinger can be in Bey’s corner.
* We get a recap of the Bey & Swinger vs. Mack feud including the six-man tag team match of Mack and the Deaners against Bey, the Swingman and Rohit that saw Bey pin Mack. Solid recap video that built up Bey as a real threat to Mack.
* Backstage, Swinger walks up to eavesdrop on Bey hitting on Gia Miller. He hears Bey tear down Swinger and say that he’s using Swinger to take all the hits. Gia ain’t having it and walks off. Bey walks out and sees Swinger, who says the office won’t budge and Bey is on his own at Slammiversary.
* Another feud recap video looks at Deonna Purrazzo’s arrival at Impact and feud with Jordynne Grace. This was more or less the same recap video we saw before, with the addition of last week’s match with Kimber Lee and Purrazzo’s taunting via Tron.
* Backstage and we have Deonna and Jordynne sitting down with Jimmy Jacobs. Jimmy talks about Purrazzo’s debut and how dominant Grace is, then has Deonna sign the contract. She slides it over but stops Grace from signing for a second because she wants Jordynne to understand what she’s getting into. She says there’s no trickery and Jordynne isn’t being fooled; she’s stepping into the ring with class and sophistication and will exit without her title. Grace pushes Jimmy back and says she gets that Deonna is classy and thinks she’s sophisticated. She signs the contract and says she’s the Hossette and she doesn’t think Deonna knows what she’s getting herself into right now, as she slams Purrazzo face-first into the table. Grace walks away from the scene with her title.
* We’re back with another feud recap, looking at the Ken Shamrock and Sami Callihan vs. The North match at Slammiversary for the Impact Tag Team Championships. We get The North attacking Shamrock and taunting him the week after, Shamrock coming down and Sami appearing in the ring for the brawl. D’Amore then makes the match while Callihan and Shamrock establish their frenemy dynamic leading into last week’s match between Callihan and Alexander, which Sami wins.
That transitions to a vignette with Shamrock talking about Sami and how he has never liked Sami. Sami says the same about Shamrock, saying he’s crazy. But the two also talk separately about their respect for each other; Shamrock puts over Callihan’s ability and how he wants someone in like that in his corner, and Callihan says he’s a little crazy himself so what the hell? They can be the World’s Most Dangerous Tag Team. Shamrock says he wants to punch Callihan in the face on any given day, but they’re after something bigger and they have to put that aside to end The North and capture the titles. Callihan says he came up with a proverb in his head: the Scorpion and the Frog. (This is not one Sami made up.) The Scorpion needed a ride across the stream and the Frog says “No way! You’re a scorpion, you’re going to sting me!” but the scorpion says nothing will happen. The frog agrees and when they get halfway across, the scorpion stings the frog and as they’re both going down, the frog says, “Why’d you sting me?” Scorpion says, “Because I’m a scorpion. That’s just what I do.” Shamrock says they have to be on the same page, but if the scorpion accidentally stings the frog, the frog might accidentally break the scorpion’s neck.
Moose & Rohit Raju vs. Tommy Dreamer & Crazzy Steve
Tommy starts against Raju, and they lock up into a headlock by Dreamer. Some chain wrestling between the two and Rohit backs Tommy into the corner where he hits a back elbow. Rohit with a side headlock, Dreamer tries to fight his way out of it and gets kicked in the cut. Rohit goes for a suplex, no luck and Dreamer reverses. Steve tagged in and gets slammed onto Rohit for a two-count. Steve goes for a neckbreaker, but Rohit slips out and kicks Steve in the gut, slams him to the mat and gets him in the corner, charges into an avalanche and tags Moose in. Moose manhandles Steve and picks him up, Steve slides off and lays in punches. He comes off the drops with a leap, caught by Moose into a fallaway slam. Moose showboats and then charges into the corner but Steve dives out and tags in Tommy! Punches by the faces, double whip into the ropes. Steve with a headbutt to the gut and Dreamer with a kneelift. He takes it to Moose but Moose fights back with shots and chops. He backs Tommy into the corner, jaws at him and then smacks him again. He showboats a little more then charges at Dreamer against the ropes, Tommy pulls the ropes down and Moose goes to the outside. Rohit in and Dreamer tosses him out; Steve leaps over the ropes and is caught again by Moose but Dreamer with a baseball slide dropkick that sends Moose down. Dreamer off the ropes but Raju is in and clotheslines Dreamer down! He stomps at Tommy and pulls him to the corner, then stomps some more before exiting after Moose gets back in. Stomps to Tommy and he picks the ECW Original up, lays in with punches and a headbutt that sends Tommy to his knees. Moose to the second rope but Dreamer catches him in the midsection with a punch and hits a DDT. Both men going for tags, they get made and Steve takes Rohit down, Irish whip into the corner reverse, Steve goes up and over a charging Rohit, snapmare by Steve and a twisting stomp. Russian legsweep into a submission but Moose breaks it up. Dreamer is in and he and Moose brawl to the outside, Steve is distracted and Raju gets a two-count on a roll-up. Kneelift by Rohit and running forearm, he charges in as Steve hits an uppercut and Tornado DDT for three!
Winner: Crazzy Steve and Tommy Dreamer (6:13)
Rating: ** 1/4
Thoughts: Probably as good as we were going to get here; Steve and Raju did most of the bumping, and this was more for storyline than anything. The match was put together to use everyone’s strengths well and Dreamer can still definitely look solid moving around the ring. Whether that will result in a good Slammiversary match…we’ll see.
* In Ohio, Fulton and Ace arrive at the gym.
* Back from break, we get the Slammiversary promo teasing the arrival of three men to Impact.
Backlot Brawl:
Hernandez vs. Rhino
They’re facing off for the money, and Rhino starts it off taking Hernandez down and going for the roll. Hernandez cuts him off and they start brawling. Hernandez goes for the role but gets turned around by Rhino, who kicks him in the Jimmies. Rhino says he didn’t want to do this, but it’s his money. As he walks off, Hernandez uses his bandana to strangle Rhino, who fights back and decks Hernandez, then chokes him with the bandana. He staggers over to the money, picks it up and starts to walk away but Hernandez bellows at him and chucks a traffic cone in his direction. They brawl through the parking lot, Rhino hits Hernandez with a garbage can but he ducks when Rhino tosses it, then waffles him with the traffic cone and again with a double cone shot. He grabs the money and starts to walk off, but Rhino is back up and he punches Hernandez down and then lays in the punches. Hernandez turns it around, Hernandez has the money, but he gets tacked into a chain link fence. They both go for the money and both their hands land on it, so they agree to split it and shake hands.
Winner: Draw (3:54)
Rating: * 3/4
Thoughts: It wasn’t really a match even by backlot brawl standards, just a repeated series of punches, walking away, more punches, and the occasional use of a weapon. It wasn’t all that fun, but it was short and that’s fine I guess.
* We get a vignette recapping the vacating of the Impact World Title and breaks down all of the competitors in the match in Eddie Edwards, Ace Austin, and Trey. It’s a re-airing of last week’s very good vignette and again does a nice job of selling the World Title match, especially given all the changes that the match had to undergo.
* We see Ace training at the gym with Fulton, which turns into a promo for Austin cut into a training montage. He talks about how a year ago he was a new face in Impact with untapped potential and talent who didn’t know how good he was yet — or that’s what people thought. But he knew. He wasn’t on the card for Slammiversary last year, now he’s in the main event. He says people like to think he got here by cheating, but he got here because of his insatiable appetite for success, which drove him to the X-Division title and will drive him to the World Title at Slammiversary. He says people are forgetting what Slammiversary is about. It isn’t about some mystery person, it isn’t about Eddie Edwards capturing former glory or Trey’s feel-good story. It’s about Austin becoming the face of this industry, the youngest World Champion of all-time.
* Back from break, we get the Slammiversary promo again.
* A video vignette looks at Eddie Edwards. Eddie talks about how everyone’s life and career is different. They all have ups and downs, some of the same ones, but in the end your life is your life, your career is your career and everyone’s life is different. He says he looks back knowing that everything in his life led him to this moment and he never had a choice. Call it destiny, call it fate, he calls it everything good and bad happening for a reason. He talks about joining Killer Kowalski’s school and the moment when he walked in, which began the journey that led him to now and Slammiversary. He says he’s never had a choice and he’s the one who needs to be and was born to be Impact champion. He says he is Impact Wrestling and has fought through injuries, relationships, friendships, and everything else. He is meant to be the Impact World Champion and needs to be Impact Champion. He promises to walk out of Slammiversary as the new Impact World Champion.
* Mathews and Rayne run down the Slammiversary card one last time, which includes:
Impact World Championship Match: Ace Austin vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Trey Miguel vs. ????
#1 Contender Knockouts Gauntlet Match: Rosemary, Nevaeh, Su Yung, Kiera Hogan, Taya Valkyrie, Tasha Steelz, Alisha Edwards, Kylie Rae, Kimber Lee, Madison Rayne, and Havok
Impact X-Division Championship Match: Willie Mack vs. Chris Bey
TNA World Championship Match: Moose vs. Tommy Dreamer
Impact Knockouts Championship Match: Jordynne Grace vs. Deonna Purrazzo
Impact Tag Team Championship Match: The North vs. Sami Callihan & Ken Shamrock
* Trey Miguel is walking around with Wentz talking about how he isn’t cool with the mystery opponent and doesn’t like mysteries in general, whether Scooby-Doo, mystery meat at school and mystery opponents. He sees via Instagram that Ace is at their gym working out and they head off to go bust it up.
* Back from break, the guys show up at the gym. Wentz grabs a garbage can and they sneak in where Austin is lecturing the staff member for putting his hands on Ace’s face. He orders the trainer to clean the ring as the Rascalz sneak up on Fulton and hit him with the garbage can. Wentz lures Fulton into charging at him in a doorway and ducks out of the way, shuts the door and bars it. Meanwhile, Trey appears behind Austin. Fulton breaks free and Wentz goes running, only to have Austin turn around and see Trey. Trey tackles Austin into the corner and beats on him, Austin manages to escape to the outside and pulls Trey out and they brawl on the outside. Trey slams Austin headfirst into the apron, gets up and tries to send Ace into the ringpost but it gets blocked. Austin gets whipped at the guardrail but goes over, grabs a chair, and throws it into Trey’s face. He climbs back over the guardrail, sits on the chair and wrenches on the arm as he taunts him with the idea that Fulton is brutalizing Wentz. Trey manages to push Austin off and tackles him into the wall, punches him and then backs up to charge in but Austin lifts him up to go face-first into the wall. He grabs the broom and jams the end into Trey’s face then slams it down on him, picks Trey up and decks him before grabbing the chair for a shot to the back. He locks in a sleeper hold and talks trash but Try grabs a handful of hair to break it. Austin picks Try up, knife-edge chops against a guardrail and a kick to the git. He backs up and gets some momentum on the next chop but Trey dodges and picks Ace up, crotching him on the guardrail. Both men down, Trey gets up and beats on Austin against rose of stacked chairs. He gets Austin up on a stage and follows but gets a garbage can shoved into him. They trade shots on the stage, Trey runs at Ace and gets backdropped. Austin top a speaker and leaps, Trey dodges and kicks Austin low. He goes to throw Ace into a pole but Fulton’s there and catches him! Fulton grabs a chair and goes to move in, but Wentz shows up with a barbed wire-wrapped chair! Austin and Fulton back off and leave as we go to black.
After the credits, we get a last version of the Slammiversary promo where someone puts a Slammiversary contract in an envelope and FedExes it. The contract is delivered to Scott D’Amore, who laughs and says Slammiversary just got even more exciting.
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