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OH YEAH, THIS IS A WRESTLING SITE, ISN’T IT?

It’s Monday…you know what that means.

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We start RAW with Orton, and he says people have been asking him why he hit Riddle with an RKO. He just wanted to help Orton win, just wants to be his friend. Therein lies the problem, says Orton. He doesn’t need friends – or anyone. He would have beaten AJ with or without any help. Let him remind us that he is a 14 time world champion. He did it all by himself. He doesn’t owe anyone anything. He doesn’t owe anyone an explanation. He is Randy Orton. RAW is still his territory. He proved that to AJ and will prove it to Omos. He says Omos is an undefeated force of nature, and he is a bit of a jackass, too. What a mess he got himself into. It’s ok, he’ll hit him with an R-K-

BROOOOOO. Here’s Riddle on the scoot scoot.

Randy is right, he doesn’t have to explain himself. He knows why Orton hit Riddle with an RKO. See, when he was younger, he wasn’t the best, so it took him a hot second. He realized that Orton is just teaching him, bro. Riddle wasn’t hitting RKOs right while he was gone, so Orton had to hit him with a proper one to teach him a lesson. Riddle learned, and he was thinking they could give this team thing another chance. Orton needs him in his corner. Please, Randy, let’s bring back RKBRO.

AJ Styles and Omos make their way out.

Omos and AJ kinda look like Candyman and Chucky cosplayers at a Horror Convention.

AJ tells Orton to RKO Riddle again, hell even do it to himself, if that’s possible. Last week proved nothing. Orton had help. He cheated. That’s ok, though. No one will be able to save Orton tonight. AJ wants Riddle tonight, also.

Riddle says he’s down, because when Orton is in his corner, he’s unstoppable.

When we return, we see Orton struggling with staying ringside. He ends up walking up the ramp, slowly, as the bell rings.

Match 1: AJ Styles vs Matt Riddle
Riddle is distracted, and AJ hits a backbreaker and a cover for 1..>NO!!! AJ lokcs the head, hits a suplex, another cover, 1…..NO!!!! Riddle works the mid section, Aj whips, Riddle floats over, kick to the chest. Riddle goes for another kick, misses a moonsault, hits a Broton. Gutwrench from Riddle and a toss. Riddle covers for 1..NO! Riddle with a right hand. Forearm to AJ. Whip to the ropes, Riddle tries for an arm drag, but AJ locks the leg and goes for an abdominal stretch. AJ works the mid, Riddle elbows the knee, then hip tosses AJ over. Kick to AJ, another kick, AJ catches, Dragon Screw to Riddle.AJ drops a knee onto the leg. Riddle on the corner and locks the head of AJ. Has a triangle, then lifts AJ and sends him over the top to the outside. Riddle with a right hand. Another. He sends AJ into the apron. Riddle to the apron, running Punt Kick to the face!!! Riddle springboard! Floating Broton!

WE ARE BACK and AJ misses a splash in the corner. Riddle hits an elbow, a running clothesline, locks up for a suplex, but AJ elbows out and gets a firemans. Riddle floats over and hits a GERMAN! Bridge for 1..2..NO!!! Riddle with a smack, another, misses a kick, AJ with a flurry, hits a hard clothesline, sending Riddle down. Fireman’s into a driver onto the knee! Cover for 1..2..NO!!!! AJ calls for the finish. He lifts Riddle, Riddle lands on his fet, kick to the chest, running kick to AJ. Running Bro—no!!! Styles locks the legs, then gets the Calf Crusher! Riddle reaches for the ropes. He gets to the bottom rope! Huge knee to the chin from Riddle! Exploder suplex into the corner by Riddle!

Riddle to the top rope! Omos stares Riddle down. AJ stands, clips the leg. AJ sets up for Styles Clash. Hits it! Cover for 1..2….3!!!!

Winner: AJ Styles
A fun opener, and a good back and forth, but man does Riddle have to look like an idiot just to get to that win?
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 10:49

Last week, Charlotte caused a DQ and beat some ass.

This week, Nikki will get a rematch.She is backstage, saying she’s been thinking about Rhea and Charlotte and Summerslam, but she’s gotta look at herself and remember that she wears this outfit for herself and everyone out there who is just like her. It worked for her, it can work for me too. Tonight, she has the confidence in herself that she can beat Rhea and hold onto the RAW Women’s Championship this Saturday.

We get Charlotte on commentary for the next match.

Match 2: Nikki A.S.H. vs Rhea Ripley
Rhea slams Nikki down with ease. She’s up and Rhea just lifts and tosses her across the ring like nothing. Fireman’s and Nikki elbows out, then hits a running bulldog off the corner. Nikki rushes with a dropkick through the ropes. Kick to Rhea. Nikki with a crossody off the apron! She poses in front of Charlotte.

Back from the break, and Rhea drops Nikki then grabs her by the head and sets up for a suplex. Rhea delays a bit, walking around the ring, then drops Nikki hard. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Nikki chops, ducks under a clothesline, gets a hurricanrana. She reaches over to the arm and goes fo ra whip, but Rhea is too strong. She whips, misses a kick, wheelbarrow into a roll up from Nikki. Cover for 1..2…NO!!!! Nikki attacks the back, tries to send Rhea into the corner, reversed, Nikki blocks, kicks out of the corner, locks the head, tornado DDT off the top and a cover for 1..2..NO!!! Nikki rushes the corner and tries fo ra monkey toss. Nikki to the 2nd rope and hits some rights from above. She dives with a crossbody, Rhea catches her, Northern Lights with a bridge for 1..2…NO!!!!

Nikki with a right hand and a rollup for 1..2..NO!!! Big Boot from Rhea! She lifts Nikki, Riptide is hit! Cover for 1..2….3!!!

Winner: Rhea Ripley
Is it possible to do 50/50 booking in a feud between three people? Lol. Nikki got more offense than usual, so that’s good.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 8:24

Charlotte makes fun of the failed Nikki on the outside of the ring, while Rhea celebrates inside the ring.

Nikki attacks Charlotte into a chair at the announce table. She attacks with rights, sending Charlotte into the rin where Rhea hits a clothesline. Nikki in to trip Charlotte. Nikki sends Charlotte out of the ring with a toss as her and Rhea scowl at Charlotte.

Jinder is backstage with his homies. He has afforded them opportunities of a thousand lifetimes. Drew is still standing. Any time he gets close, Drew pulls out his sword. Tonight, they two will take Drew on in a handicap match. This is their last chance to take away the sword, and at Summerslam, Drew will crumble.

Unfortunately, I miss the Drew match, but he won, as I’m sure you could guess.

We come to RAW with Elias standing near a fire in a field. He stares at the flames then tosses strums it one time before tossing it into the fire. You know, like he did last week.

John Morrison is in the middle of the ring, and they are calling this Moist TV.

Tonight’s guest is The Miz. Out comes The Miz, all smiles. Morrison asks him what his favorite movie is, and The Miz says all of The Marine films he’s in. Solid acting. Speaking of acting, was Miz pretending to be injured?

Miz asks Morrison if he’s ever lied to him, has he ever used him? Has he ever faked an injury. Well….?

Do we think that Miz would lie to Morrison?

Here comes Priest. Priest says he knows Miz is lying. He likes Morrison’s show better than The Miz’s, but before he goes to Summerslam and whoop Sheamus’ ass and go wyle out in Vegas, let’s ask Miz the good questions like, why did he pretend for week after week pretend to be injured, having Morrison push him around like a servant.

Miz tells Priest to tell him to go back to No Man’s Land to mentally prepare. For the record, the reason Miz is injured is because of Priest. He has never been injured, is the most durable superstar, and it’s the reason he’s the only two-time Grand Slam champion, so when he had his first major injury, he didn’t know what to expect. Some people compete while injured; Morrison does. So yes, he’d been cleared a couple of weeks ago.

Miz says weeks, days, who cares about time? He still is not 100%. Priest says it looked like he was last week when he ran up the ramp. Miz says he had a surge of energy. Morrison wonders why Miz didn’t just tell him? Miz says he is spinning everything around to make it about them, but it’s not about them. Morrison says Miz is right, this gives him a good idea. What better way for them to make the debut of Moist TV than by having a match. Priest vs The Miz.

Priest loves this. Miz doesn’t want it. Priest shoves Miz into a pool of rubber duckies.

WE COME BACK TO The Miz yelling at the ref about wearing Gucci slippers and not wanting to wrestle in a crap town.

Out comes Sheamus as Miz claps for some reason. Sheamus walks around the ring and heads to commentary.

Match 4: The Miz vs Damien Priest
The bell rings, and Miz rolls to the outside to high five Sheamus. Sheamus ain’t interested. Miz backs up into Priest, who boxes the ears, and tosses Miz in the ring. Priest follows. Miz fakes injury. Miz with a right, Priest grabs the hand, blocks, hits a right, sends Miz running, Miz tumbles to the apron, Priest holds him up and Miz hangs Priest up. Miz to the top rope. He flies with an axe handle to the forehead. Miz hits the ropes, running kick to Priest. Miz with a kick to the chest, another kick, another kick. Miz goes for a final kick, but Priest punches his shin. Kick to Priest in the chest, another kick, a spinning right, then a leg lariat. Priest runs into the corner, but Miz kicks him in the face. Miz calls for the squirt gun, but Morrison won’t give it to him! Miz turns as Morrison tells him that he’s got this.

Morrison heads up the ramp. Clothesline from Priest. Priest stares Sheamus down, then calls for a Brogue Kick. Priest with a Brogue! Pin for 1..2…3!!!!

Winner: Damien Priest
Oh Priest, you silly silly man.
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: 2:33

Sheamsu stands on the table, calls Priest a disrespectful scumbag. He tells Priest to enjoy the moment, because it’ll be his last in the spotlight. This around his waist is his gold. Not ours, not the crowds, and not Priests. Yes, Sheamus has gone full Lucky Charms.

We head to last week where Lily winked then to this week, where Eva Marie is telling Piper that she blew it last week. Piper tries to blame the doll. Eva says she blew it, but luckily, the Evalution is all about second chances, so before Eva takes care of this personally at Summerslam, how about Piper heads to the playground to handle the other little problem. Piper doesn’t move. Eva spells it out for her. Bring her Lily. She’ll be waiting.

Alexa is at the playground, waiting.

Backstage, Miz runs up on Morrison, saying he is his best friend, he could have gotten hurt. Morrison says he just wanted him to understand what it feels like to have the one person he trusted to not have his back. Miz asks if they can move on from this. Morrison says water under the bridge. Miz says good, because he thinks they can do something huge at Summerslam.

While they are making up, Kofi and Woods are behind them, shilling their new shirt.

Alexa is on her swing, telling Lily she’d be great on a dating show. Alexa welcomes us, says they’re excited for Summerslam. They’re going to put an end to Eva Marie. What does Evalution even mean? Imagine wanting to be like her. Hahahahahaha.

Here is Piper. Piper grabs Lily, looks her in the eyes, is shocked, gives her back to Alexa. Alexa waves.

…

Match 5: Mansoor vs Mace
Mace basically murders Mansoor with some tosses, then grabs his legs and drags him to the center of the ring. He stomps the back then locks in a modified camel clutch. Mansoor stands out of it but Mace hits the back of the neck. He hits a leg lariat across the neck. Mace drags Mansoor near the ropes then misses an elbow drop. Elbow from Mansoor, chop, chop, right hand, shoved to the ropes, Leg lariat is missed by Mace and Mansoor attacks the forehead. Mansoor rushes, grabs the head, goes for a bulldog, but Mace shoves him off. Mansoor lands on his feet, dodges a move, sunset flip over Mace, but Mace sits down into a pin.

Ali with a dropkick between the ropes, the ref unknowing. Mansoor rolls this into a pin for 1..2…3!!!

Winner: Mansoor
Lol
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: 1:56

AJ And Omos are backstage with Sarah, saying they will celebrate the death of RKBro.

Match 6: Randy Orton vs Omos
Both men go to the center of the ring, scowling. Orton tries for the RKO. Omos shoves him off with ease. Omos shoots the corner, Orton ducks under, goes for a right, but Omos catches the fist. Orton pulls the fingers off but Omos grabs his wrist with his other hand. Orton stomps the boot, Omos catches Orton in the air and goes to body slam him, but takes his time in doing so. Omos squeezes the head of Orton. Orton turns, hits some rights and lefts, Omos with a huge club to the back. Omos whips Orton into the corner. He backs up. Rushes the corner, Orton side steps, kicks, uppercut, another right, another, again, knee from Omos. Whip to Orton. Omos rushes, orton side steps, waits for Omos, Omos turns, Orton with an RK—NO!! Omos shoves, and Orton is sent outside. Omos distracts the ref.

AJ runs and kicks Orton in the mid section, but the ref saw AJ!!! The ref calls for a DQ.

Winner: Randy Orton via DQ
Kinda figured there’d be an odd finish.
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 3:47

AJ lifts Orton up, sends him back into the ring. AJ enters the ring as commentary talks about Orton never having a chance. AJ barks orders, and Omos grabs Orton by the neck. He tosses Orton to the outside. Omos follows. He grabs Orton by the head again, then sends him into and over the barricade. Omos grabs Orton again, and drapes him over the apron. AJ gets to the opposite apron, waiting for Orton to stand.

Riddle’s music hits, and out runs Riddle! He ducks under AJ and runs right into the ring, then dropkicks Omos! Aj springboards, Riddle rolls through, running knee to AJ. Clothesline to AJ, sending him outside. Omos gets on the apron. AJ is hurt. Omos goes to check on AJ, pissed that he can’t get any offense in.

He grabs AJ and places him over the shoulders, then heads to the back.

Orton grabs a mic after AJ and Omos leave. He says respect is something that is earned. In the past, he did respect Riddle. But after all he did to Riddle, and after last RAW, hitting him, here he comes to Orton’s aid, had Orton’s back, so guess what….kid, you’ve earned my respect. RKOBRO is back.

Orton hugs Riddle.

Riddle says since RKOBRO is back, then they’re challenging for the tag team titles.

Jeff Hardy has some words backstage about praying and Kross and hourglasses.

Kross runs in to attack him, saying tick tock. Lol.

Match 7: Karrion Kross vs Jeff Hardy

Jeff rushes on the attack, shoots the leg, leg drop to the dick, dropkick, kick, Twist of Fate attempt, but Kross with the Kross Jacket to Jeff. Kross locks the hand with the boot. He’s got it locked. Jeff can’t breathe. Jeff fades. Tap.

Winner: Karrion Kross
While the win was done well, why make him lose in the first place, why make him have to attack first in order to get the win? Why not just dominate/
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: :44

Backstage, Eva is waiting for Piper. She doesn’t have the doll. Piper apologizes. Eva says enough with the excuses. This is like walking up to Eva and slapping her in the face. Does Piper know what that feels like? Eva slaps her. Then slaps her again.

Earlier Today, Reggie went to the park, which reminds him of when he did his very first backflip. He would use his skills to avoid being tagged.

R-Truth tries to sneak up on him. Akira, in a trash can, sneaks up as well, while Reggie talks about being his true self. Now, as his career takes off, he comes here to reflect and take in the fresh air.

He back flips as Truth and Akira run into one another. They chase Reggie around a tree, Reggie swings up, trips Akira, dodges R-Truth, then Reggie flips over his car, lands on his feet, slides into his seat, and speeds off.

He drives through trees, and spots a hill just before a small pond. He drives in high gear, flying over the water, onto a highway. A helicopter is nearby, low and close. Reggie puts his car in Neutral as it drives at a high speed. He slinks out of the car, stands on the hood and hops into a helicopter where Dom Toretto is waiting because they are family, and there’s nothing stronger than family.

Apparently, there’s a tag match coming up next with Rhea teaming with Nikki against Charlotte and a mystery opponent.

WE COME BACK to another Elias video. It’s daytime, as what’s left of his guitar is smoking. He carries a tombstone made of wood (tombwood) and places it nearby the guitar, where it reads ELIAS. He dead dead.

Match 8: Nikki A.S.H. and Rhea Ripley vs Charlotte and Nia Jax
Nia to start with Nikki. Nia laughs, wondering what this is, obviously not watching the product. Nia no sells a bunch of shit, until Nikki locks in a sleeper. Nia backs her into the corner quickly and rakes her face. Nia rushes the corner with a hip attack and a….STINKFACE! What in the world….Nikki tries to fight her away, but Nia shoves then hits a short clothesline immediately. Tag to Charlotte. Charlotte drops down to the outside and rushes the broken Nikki. Big Boot to the face, and Nikki is out again.

Back from the break and Rhea is tagged in, clotheslining Charlotte a few times. Headbutt to Charlotte. Snapmare. Rhea knocks Nia off the apron, kick to Charlotte. Locs the head, spin kick to Charlotte. Northern Lights to Charlotte. Charlotte kicks out at 2. Lockup from behind, elbow from Charlotte to Rhea. Rhea kicks out of the corner. Rhea hops to the top rope, flies off and misses a dropkick! Nia back on the apron. She wants the tag. Backstage, Shayna is watching. Tag from Charlotte. Nia whips, Samoan Drop to Rhea! Nia slams Rhea’s head down. Nia to the top rope, smacking her ass.

Blind Tag from Charlotte, and Nia is pissed. Charlotte big boots Nikki off the apron. Natural Selection to Rhea. Cover for 1…2….3!!!

Winners: Charlotte Flair and Nia Jax
It appears Nia has firmly established her female Rikishi role, while Charlotte has established that Charlotte > Rhea > Nikki.
Total Rating: *1/2
Match Time: 7:28

Backstage, AJ is pissed. He says RKO has no chance to win. He and Omos have beaten every team they’ve gone up against. There is no one left. It’s just AJ and Omos. Orton will despise Riddle within the next five days, guaranteed.

Goldberg and Lashley is up next.

Goldberg is out next. He says before he speaks about Summerslam, he’s gotta address something else. Last week, Lashley and MVP cut a promo about fatherhood, and for the second week in a row, they brought his son into this. So he figure what the hell, why not beat them at their own game and bring his son into this.

He introduces Gage Goldberg, who is ringside with some of his football buddies. Goldberg tells him that 100%, he is the reason why Goldberg came out of retirement. Fact is, he can go online and see who Goldberg is, but he needs him front and center to experience who Goldberg IS. Who his father IS.

Lashley’s music hits, and out comes Lashley and MVP, lookin like Handsome Squidward.

MVP tells Goldberg that he THOUGHT he could be Goldberg of old, do the same ol song and dance, but when he locked eyes with Lashley, Goldberg saw it was going to be different this time. For the first time in his career, he’s ran into a man who is more dominant than Goldberg. He has run down on the Champion, Bobby Lashley.

Lashley says he gave Goldberg every chance to bow down and walk away and save himself the embarrassment, but he’s too stubborn and hard headed, so now he play by the house rules, and around here, the house always wins, and I know you want to have this proud Summerslam moment, and I’m going to give you that moment, so I’m going to leave you with just enough….whew, talk about conjunctions….jesus. Lashley says when Goldberg steps in this ring right here, he steps in the house of The Almighty.

Goldberg calls this bullshit.

Riveting.

Lashley hands his title over to MVP, goes for a cheap shot, Goldberg hits a spear. Goldberg grabs his son out of the audience and walks backstage with him.

End Show