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Hey, y’all! I just finished up a fat batch of green pozole for the first time! I’m hoping it’ll be done right around the time Jeff Hardy makes his return.

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It’s Monday…you know what that means.

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Y’all, look at the dude in blue!

Remember last week when Seth gave Owens an opportunity for a title shot at Day Wun? Well, Seth does. He cuts a promo backstage where he tells Us Owens will be facing Big E in a steel cage. Lol, who is playing football, cuz this is obviously an attempt to keep us watching.

We switch to Big E, who talks about the cage match comin up. He’s hyped, but boy does he look tired.

Owens is up next, as big E makes his entrance. He says Big E is the liar. He said earlier that the title was his, but it’s Owens’ Big E is just holding it for him. Tonight, th truth is that oWens will punish Big E, and that’s no lie. *wink*

Match 1:
Owens rushes the door, but E stops him and lays in some punches. Owens kicks, goes for a stunner, Big E stops him, grabs his head as Owens tries to leave the ring. Big e corners him and eats a boot. Owens tries to climb the cage quickly, but Big E pulls the leg and crotches Kevin right onto his Owens. Big E pulls on the beard and hits a right elbow. Owens is trpped between ropes and cage. Big E sends Owens into the cage head first. Fist to the gut, right forearm. Owens heads to the corner of the apron, hits a right, climbs the corner, and tries to leave the ring again. Big E climbs up, holds on, and Owens headbutts then elbows him down. Big E pulls Owens down, Owens hangmans Big E. E hits the ropes. SPEAR INTO THE CAGE! Big E sends Owens into the cage again. E tries for another big spear, but Owens moves and E eats cage!

We return from a break, and Owens is climbing yet again. He kicks E away, then hits a beautiful moonsault. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! owens punches then drops a senton onto Big E. Owens sends Big E into th—no, E reverses and sends owens face first into the cage. Cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Big wants the door to be opened, but Owens grabs him and pulls E into the match. Big E to the cage face first. Owens pulls E’s neck against the ropes, choking him up a bit. Owens kicks the back of the head, Owens climbs again! Big E jumps up, follows Owens, punches the bck, again, another, Owens sends Big E into the cage face first. Again. A third, and Big E tumbles down. Owens turns, decides to climb the cage. Big E is up again, grabs the boot! He gets Owens seated on his shoulders! Owens fights him down, turns, Sunset Bomb! Cover for 1..2…NO!!!! Big E with. Belly to belly! Again! A third!!!! Big E with the gyration. He hits the ropes, again, NO BIG SPLASH! Owens climbs towards the door. E catches his boot, Owens kicks him, back elbow, Superkick to Big E! Cannonball in the corner! Owens tries to leave the ring again, but Big E grabs him by the nck. He clubs the back, Owens stands, hits a forearm, antoher right. Big E misses a clothesline, Owens shoots the legs! Boston Crab! Big E climbs with his arms towards the corner! He looks to leave the ring. Owens turns, pushes on the head of Big E, pulls back on it through th ropes!!!

Here comes Seth! He smacks the door in the face of Owens and Big E.

We are back from a break and Owens is clapping away as Owens makes it to the top of the cage. E is on the top rope, Owens elbows him a few times, hits a headbutt, E with some punches. E back elbows the chest of Owens. He has E on his shoulders now, looking for a Big Ending! Owens scrapes the face!!! Owens kicks Big E down. Owens dives! FROGSPLASH!!! Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Big E ends up getting a splash, looks for a Big Ending, Owens switches, tries for a stunner, E revereses, Owens pumps up. POWERBOMB! Cover for 1..2…NO!!!

Owens heads to the top again! He gets one leg over the top! E attacks! He punches Owens over and over. Owens lays on the top of the cage. E pulls him back. He punches the gut of Owens, back elbow to the kidney, another. E on the 2nd rope. He keeps elbowing Owens over and over! BIG ENDING SETUP! HE HITS IT!

Big Ending! E opts to leave the cage rather than cover! He crawls slowly towards it. OWENS GRABS THE BOOT!!! Big E kicks oWens away a few times. Big E leaves the ring! Big E wins it!

Winner: Big E
This was great. Owens and Big E went out and put together one of the better cage matches I’ve seen in quite some time. I especially love the “realistic” moves in the corner that just didn’t work out. Owens constant attempt to get the fuck out of there made sense, too, and you really get the sense that they planned to open with a bang. I probably overrated this, but it exceeded my really really low expectations.
Total Rating: ****
Match Time: 20:08

Big E gets roughly 2 seconds to celebrate before Seth attacks him from behind! The cage rises as Seth takes off his jacket. He enters the ring and beats down on Owens, and seriously, the only thing making this thing bad is the drastic and repeatative camera cuts. Holy shit.

Seth in the corner, wants a big stomp, he runs from the corner, but Big E enters the ring! Belly to Belly to Seth!!! Big Ending to Owens!

Back from the break, and Big E is still struggling, laid up against the announce booth.

Ah, so we find out why as Bobby Lashley came out during the break to attack Big E.

There’s a tag title competition coming up, called an RK-Bro-nament.

Zelina and Carmella come out to talk some shit in multiple languages. Zelina feels sorry for Nikki. Zelina will send Nikki back to the depths of despair, also known as Memphis, TN.

Match 2: Queen Zelina (w/ Carmella) vs Nikki A.S.H.(w/ Rhea Ripley)
Lockup!!! Vega backs Nikki into the corner. Ref breaks it, Nikki hits an elbow, Vega trips her up off the corner. Vega pulls on the neck of Nikki, in front of Rhea. They trade some pins, with neither getting a win. Whip to the corner and Nikki hops over then hits a clothesline. Nikki runs with a splah in the corner, and a bulldog out of the corner. Lock of the head, goes for a supelx, Vega escapes, shoots the elgs, stacks up for a pin. Uses the foot on the ropes, but the ref catches her. Nikki with a punch, another, kick from Vega, whip, Nikki holds on and hooks Vega’s arm across her own neck.

Nikki to the top rope. She dives. Vega moves out of the way, Code Red. 1..2….3!!!

Winner: Queen Zelina
That…wasn’t good. Wasn’t the worst thing, but also wasn’t good.
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: 2:03

Backstage, now, and Riddle is wearing a tuxedo shirt with a blazer over it. Riddle brings up the tournament as his idea, and Orton says this was only Riddle’s idea. Apparently, Home Alone, changed Riddle’s life. Riddle says they are guest hosts and correspondents. Orton never agreed to this. Riddle calls this Viper Sarcasm. Riddle brought him a blazer. Riddle says he’ll look so good, and we want him to wear it. Riddle has a headset in his ear, and those voices in his head are telling him to make Orton wear the blazer. Riddle talks him into wearing it, and we get Orton and Riddle wearing WWE Blazers.

Backstage, Nikki is sulking. Rhea tells her they’ll get em next time.

Up comes a lady who wants an autograph, but from Jerry Lawler, not Nikki. This is made to look like Nikki thought it was for her, but they got the actress from the local playhouse, and it shows. King tells Nikki tough loss, kid, and offers her an autograph. Lol.

Match 3: AJ Styles and Omos vs The Street Profits
AJ and Ford to start. Dropkick from AJ, then a hard whip to the corner. Tag to Montez. AJ backs him into a corner, hits some shoulders. AJ misses a right hand, Montez with a hard right hand. Spinning splash into the corner. Hits the ropes, but Omos pulls the rope down and Dawkins tumbles to the outside. AJ punches Ford off the apron. AJ flies to the outside, hitting Dawkins square in the head.

Back from break, and Omos is growling more than movin. He body slams Dawkins down and stands over him. A punch to the head drops Dawkins. Omos with another hard hit as Ford stares on. Omos grabs the hair, pulls Dawkins up, tags in AJ, and corners Dawkins. Kick from AJ. Dawkins hits a right, AJ fires back, He tries for a splash in the corner, Dawkins gets a tag. Ford in with a clothesline, a back elbow, locks the head. He hooks, dtries fo ra suplex, but AJ blocks, so Ford rolls him up. 1..2..NO!!! Kick from Ford, high kick, another to the sie of the head. Ford is hyped. Ford rushes the corner, but AJ has the boot up! Ford hits the ropes, ducks under, high clothesline. SLAP TO OMOS! Omos is pissed.Dawkins runs by with a punch. Dropkick to Omos sendshim to the mat, still standing. Dawkins leaves the ring, AJ locks up from behind, switch from Ford, goes for a back suplex, AJ lands on his feet, enziguri! Pele kick to Ford! AJ with a Brainbuster!!! AJ doesn’t cover. He heads to the apron. AJ waits on the apron. Ford stands, AJ tries for the Phenomenal Forearm, but Omos tags himself in!!! Dawkins pulls AJ outside. Omos hits a clothesline! Ford flies off the apron, Omos catches him and drops him hard on the apron. Ref is counting loud, so here comes the countout. Omos attacks Dawkins as ref hits 8.

AJ tires to tell Omos to get back in the ring, but the ref hits ten, and Omos and AJ lose.

Winners: The Street Profits
A real stupid way to end the match.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 9:42

AJ puts his hand on the shoulder of Omos and tells him he’s gotta listen to AJ. Omos stares at the hand, then leaves the ring, frustrated with himself, and possibly AJ as well.

Lol.

Riddle enters the ring and holds his headset, asking AJ for “a word.” Haha. “AJ, a word, please sir.”

AJ turns, wonders if Riddle is talking to him. AJ tells him to go an interview the winners of the match, but Riddle says he wants to follow the biggest story, and also The Street Profits were way too fast, bro. He asks what’s going on between AJ and Omos.

AJ says it was a disagreement, a miscommunication between a great tag team, but Riddle wouldn’t know anything about that. If Riddle doesn’t leave, AJ will shove the mic down his throat.

Riddle says things are just getting started, and anybody is game – except for AJ and Omos; they are definitely out. Would Orton like to add anything?

Orton, seated by the announce table, grabs a mic, and says, “Nope.”

Backstage, Sarah Schrieber is halfway through her hair being done, but must interview Becky Lynch.

Becky says it’s a big night…for Liv. Biggest match of her career. Liv won her match last week, hit Becky with her finisher, sucker punched Becky the week before that, and countered The Manhandle the week before that. There’s a new bandwagon to jump on, and the Liv Morgan train is a-rollin. But the real battle for Liv will be fought within her head and heart. No one really wants Liv to win the title. You do well enough, they cheer you. You do too well, they’ll turn on you. Liv is the underdog who will never really reach her dreams. Becky says tonight is just another Monday.

Orton tells Riddle that his broadcast days are over, gives him the blazer, and apparently leaves.

Match 3: United States Championship Match
Damian Priest vs Robert Roode
Commentary sells Roode as a threat. He is not. Roode kicks off the ropes, then eats a headbutt from Priest. Priest sends Roode into the corner head first. Cover for 1..2.NO!!!! Priest sends Roode into the corner, misses a splash, but hits a big boot. Ziggler distracts. Priest goes after Ziggler. Priest hops down to the outside and there’s Roode to send Priest into the steps! Roode sends Priest over the barricade.

We come back and Roode hits a blockbuster. He covers for 1..2..NO!!!! Roode is up first. He shoves Priest in the face. Priest with a right from his knees. Hard elbow. Right hand to Roode. Priest blocks, hits a right, another hard one. Priest lifts Roode up and slms him down. Kick from Priest, into a Broken Arrow. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Priest locks up for a powerbomb, Roode escapes, Priest boxes the ears, Roode sends Priest to the ropes. Backstabber. Cover for 1…2.N!O!! They trade punches, Priest hits a knee, Roode with a chop. Kick from Priest, another, another, a few more. High kick to the side of the head. Priest hits the ropes, dives off, Spinebuster from Roode! Cover for 1..2…NO!!!!! Kick from Roode.

Priest calls for the DDT, Priest escapes, tries for The Reckoning, Roode fights out, Priest tries for a chokeslam, Roode rolls him up for 1..2..N!O!!! Priest grabs, hits The Reckoning. Cover for 1…2….3!!!

Winner: Damian Priest
I’d say the first 65% was a bit rough to watch, but that last minute or so was fun.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 9:37

WE cover the Bianca and Piper saga, then Bianca makes her entrance, all smiles, and whippin her hair.

From behind, Piper attacks, shoving Bianca down hard.

Match 4: Bianca Belair vs Piper Nivens
Bianca shoves Piper to the ropes and nearly hits a spinebuster, but Piper beats down the back. Piper sends Bianca to the corner ,Bianca to the apron, hops over after a right, and kicks away in the corner. Belair whips, Piper reveress, Belair hops to the top rope and smacks her ass, then flips over Piper. Bianca hits the ropes, ducks under, tries for a dropkick, but Piper swats her away and hits a senton. Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Hard right in the corner. Piper tugs on the arm then kicks Bianca away. Headbutt from Piper. Short clothesline from Piper. She locks Bianca’s arm up around the ropes. Belair kicks her away, another kick, a third. Big clothesline from Piper. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Headbutt to the shoulder from Piper. She grabs the arm and chokes Bianca up with it. Bianca to the apron, Piper with a right, she heas to the apron, too. She lifts Bianca, Belair floats to inside the ring, right hand, again, Bianca gets shoved, front flips INTO the ropes and sends Piper off the apron. Belair tries to pull Piper into the ring, Piper pulls her out, sends Bianca into the apron back-first. SPLASH ON THE OUTSIDE TO BIANCA! Ouch!

Back from a break, and Piper escapes a Sunset Flip. She heads to the 2nd rope, looking to crush Bianca. She does! Cover for 1…2…NO!!! Bianca kicks out! Piper screams that Bianca thinks he is better tan her. She starts pulling out the butterfly clips in Bianca’s hair. Piper lifts Bianca to the shoulders, Bianca flips off, but Piper hits a headbutt! Belair is seated in the corner, Piper goes for a cannonball, but Bianca moves!!! She lifts Piper.

SHE WANTS THE KOD!!! She can’t do it!!! Piper rolls to the outside! Piper is done. She takes a walk to end the match in a countout.

Winner: Bianca Belair via countout
Another countout ending…
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 12:57

Last Monday, Vince McMahon slapped Austin Theory.

This Monday, Vince tells Theory that when people ask how he’s doing, they don’t give a damn about you or your jock itch.

Vince wants to put Theroy in a match tonight. Did Theory expect that? Was he surprised? Vince blows a load in his pants, it appears.

The Miz is next with MizTV and Edge.

Miz has some mic time, says Maryse isn’t here because they’re in Memphis. She doesn’t come to places like this.

Now to business: he rewatched last week, and he was speechless. Edge complimented him, The Miz. A heartfelt compliment! He has known Edge for 15 years, and that was not Edge last week. That was a shell of his former self. Or is he…

Miz introduces Edge, and out comes the man with the Flann(el).

Edge says he meant the compliments, and he still means them. Miz says The Rated R Superstar has lost his Edge. Miz says the old Edge, the master manipulator would have speared him out of his $9,000 shoes. This Edge is just mentally weak.

Edge disses the shoes, says his 3s are a lot cheaper. Miz doesn’t want his kindness or compliments now. He needed it in 2006. When everything he said and did was wrong. When he was kicked out. That’s when he needed Edge’s kindness. Miz was kicked out because he didn’t fit the mold; he was ostracized. Everyone knew he had the IT factor. He was treated like a peasant when he was mor talented than 90% of the locker room, so Edge’s kindness – he don’t want it or need it.

Edge says Miz is glossing over some key points. It was in this arena where he told Miz that he does have IT. Ride through this. Even though, it’s BS, Miz will be just fine, but Miz brushed him off. Edge went through the same thing Miz did seven years before. The biggest different between Miz and Edge is that Edge didn’t walk in thinking he was better than everyone, and he doesn’t hold people down. Miz wants to blame everyone else, but he needs to look in the mirror and it will tell Miz the same thing it told him in 2006: Miz, you’re an ass.

Miz calls Edge a hypocrite. 2022 will be The Year of Miz, and he cant think of a better way of ushering it in at Day One. Edge accepts, but he says they’re in Memphis, and there’s nothing between them. Miz says no, then talks about fear, but Edge makes him flinch and fall on his ass to prove a point.

Liv cuts a promo backstage.

Sorta…

Match 5: Rey and Dominik Mysterio vs The Alpha Academy
A little late to the party, but Gable is working the leg of Dom with a half-Boston crab. Dom turns this into a cradle for 1..2.NO!!! Gable catches a cook but gets hit with an enziguri. Gable shoots for a tag, Dom grabs the ankle, stopping the tag. Gable turns, attacks the back, and blocks a right. Another, Dom gets sent to the corner, kicks out, Gable swings his leg, dragon screw to Dom. Gable to the top rope.

Moonsault from Gable, lands on his feet, Dom rolls him up, stacks him! Pin for 1..2….3!!!

Winners: Rey Mysterio and Dominik Mysterio
Oh, that’s just…sad
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: LOL

Riddle enters the ring for the interview, asking them how he feels. Otis grabs Riddle and hits him with a slam. Lol. Damn.

Backstage, Austin Theory is doing cartwheels while Vince is on the phone. Vince hangs up and tells Theory that he will not have a match tonight. Theory is sad. Vince tells Theory he’ll have to find out some other way to impress Vince.

Theory…unzips his vest, and does jumping jacks.

Vince tells him to stop, tells him to find some other way – use his brains. Theory smiles and leaves. This makes no sense. Vince watches Theory leaves, with makes me wonder if he didn’t like the unzipped jumping jacks…

Match 6: Finn Balor vs T-Bar
Balor starts by working the arm, then kicking the leg. GOOZLE from T-Bar. Finn locks the head, gets sent to the ropes, Finn flies off the ropes, crossbody attempt but Bar catches Finn and drops his back on the knee. T-Bar tosses him aside and covers for 1..2.NO!!! T-Bar sends Finn into the corner. Boot to the neck. T-Bar lifts Finn and drops him on the knee. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! T-Bar sends Finn into the corner, Finn kicks out of the corner. Right hands to the face, whip to the ropes, GOOLE! Finn counters with a rollup for 1..2..NO!!! Finn with a double leg takedown, stomp to the chest. Finn runs with a slingblade, but T-Bar catches him, spins with a kick and a cover for 1…2….NO!!!! T-Bar lifts Finn, Finn floats off, slingblade hits this time. Finn to the top rope. GOOZLE from T-Bar!!!

T-Bar climbs the ropes, looking to chokeslam Finn, but Finn hits an elbow, a chop to the neck. Coup De Grace! Pin for 1…2….3!!

Winner: Finn Balor
Finn gets all the stars for that chick in the crowd willing to risk it all.
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 3:31

After the match, Austin Theory attacks Finn from behind and takes a selfie with him.

Oh lord…backstage, Dana pops out from behind a box, Truth is disguised as a tree, Akira is in a trash can. Reggie is on top of some truck. As Dana walks away, Truth sits down and Akira goes…back into the trash can? Reggie tells Dana the title looks good on her. Tamina comes running from nowhere, Reggie stands in her way. I hate this…

Backstage, MVP tells us that we live in an era where people don’t face their consequences. Not in Lashley’s world. They didn’t even mention Lashley during the title match – that’s disrespectful. Those are the consequences. Lashley tells Kevin that when you disrespect him, that’s what happens.

Video package for Liv. Her mom helps with a little voiceover.

Match 7: RAW Women’s Championship Match
Liv Morgan vs Becky Lynch
Liv looks hella nervous. Lockup, go behind, Becky lifts and drops Liv, welcoming her to the big time. Side headlock, into the ropes, Becky drops Liv with a shoulder tackle. Slap to Liv, another, Liv locks the arm, drags Becky into the ropes, Liv tries for a kick, but Becky escapes and leaves the ring. Liv sits on the ropes, saying she was close. Becky tries to re-enter, Liv tries to stop her ,Becky kicks her. Riht hand from Liv, side headlock to Becky. Whip to the ropes, Liv with a tackle sends Becky down. Liv sends Becky into the ropes, Becky slides under Liv and trips her up, looks for the Disarmer, Liv escapes, cradle, Liv escapes, drops Becky, cover, but Becky slides out with a Matrix like move ala Trish. Liv with a rollup for 1..2…NO!!! Liv shoots the leg, jackknife, but Becky powers out, turns the girl, backslide attempt from Becky, Liv locks the arms, though, gets a backslide for 1..>NO!!! Liv tries for another cover for 1…NO!!! Becky with a right hand to the face! Stomp to Liv. Becky sends her into the corner. Liv with a dropkick off the corner. She rushes the corner, tries for a stomp, Becky side steps, bounces off the ropes with a kick, sending Liv to the outside. Becky hits the ropes, dives outside! Liv side steps! Knees to the face! Liv rolls into the ring as the ref starts the count. He hits 5. Liv hits the ropes, dives with a crossbody to the outside!! Good job, Liv! Liv sends Becky back into the ring for a cover. 1..2.NO!!! Liv heads to the apron, considers her options, and pulls herself up. Liv to the top rope. Becky attacks the throat, climbs the corner, right hand to Liv. Another. Locks the head. Becky pulls Liv up, hits some right hands, SUPERPLEX TO LIV!!! Liv sells it like bloody murder.

We are back, and Becky is beating Liv down on the apron. Liv hangs over the second rope. Leg drop from the 2nd rope by Becky. She covers for 1..2..NO!!! Becky shows frustration. Becky sits on the back of Liv and pulls back on her chin, screaming for her to tap out. Liv gets to her knees. She turns into the hold, hits an elbow, rolls out, Becky tries for a right, blocked. Liv with a right, another. A third. Becky shoves, Becky rolls through, gets the ankle, Liv stands, Becky drops her with an inverted DDT. Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Splash is missed in the corner by Becky. Liv drops her on her face. Liv to the 2nd rope. Becky pulls her feet out. Becky to the top rope, she dives, Liv rolls ut of the way, step up enziguri to the running Becky Lynch! Becky grabs liv. Liv with a right, another right, kick to Becky, another kick, Becky misses a right, THESZ PRESS!!! She gets the beat down. Becky esapes, back elbow in the corner from Liv. She runs up with a knee to Becky! Becky on the ropes, Liv goes for Oblivion, Becky side steps, Liv sits on the ropes, sends Becky away from her, springboard off the ropes, Liv hits knees! Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Liv grabs Becky, Becky with an uppercut. Another uppercut. Liv tries to rana out of the corner. Becky lands on the apron. Kick from Liv. She stomps the back of Becky and kicks her over and over and over on the apron. Two botches there. Slow it down, Liv.

Liv to the top rope. She dives. Shotgun dropkick and a cover for 1..2….NO!!!!! Liv with a Rings of Saturn! Becky rolls to the back, cover for 1..2..NO!!!!! Becky ties for the Disarmer! Liv wiggles to the ropes! Rope break! Becky pulls her by the legs, Inside cradle from Liv. 1..2….NO!!!!

Becky tries for the Manhandle Slam! Liv reverses into a rollup for 1..2…NO!!!! Becky reverses with a rollup! Becky holds the ropes! 1..2..3!!!!

Winner: Becky Lynch
The good news here is that they tried to make Liv look like a star. There was some sloppiness there near the end, but the energy Becky put forth to make Liv look good was both obvious and prevalent. If they keep the momentum oing on Liv’s growth, she may have something, but this was certainly not the time.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 14:50

End Show