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Ello, ello, ello, and welcome to 2022! The more things change, the more they stay the same, amirite?

Like dude, I didn’t watch Day One, but I can’t be the only one that thinks the Brock win is just….ugh.

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It’s Monday…you know what that means.

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Cheers, guys!

Happy Nude Year pic.twitter.com/BaXf5cS178

— Tony Acero (@TonyAcero411) January 3, 2022

We start with a recap of Day One, then we are informed that the original Fatal 4 Way will happen tonight, with the winner facing Brock at Royal Rumble.

Lights go out, then they come back on and the orange-skinned Paul Heyman is in the middle of the ring.

He introduces himself and introduce us to the New Reigning Defending Undisputed WWE Heavyweight Champion of the World, Brock Lesnar.

Brock is out with his title. He grabs the ringside steps and tosses them inside the ring, then walks up them to stand tall as YOUR Champion, all smiles. He grabs a mic, says thanks.

He wants to give a shout out to Roman Reigns, probably sitting at home, get well soon.

I will say this; Brock looks like he’s having a TON of fun. Lol.

Brock shouts out South Carolina, then says: “Acknowledge me.”

He wants to thank his advocate for all the strings he pulled to help make him champion. Thank you.

Heyman on the stick: he tells us we should see the things that go on behind the scene, like when he negotiated for him to be a Free Agent, then Saturday when he wanted to win a title, and one champion couldn’t make it, but the other was in a Fatal Four Way. All the behind the scenes machinations and strings were pulled, Brock entered the Fatal Five Way, and now what does he do? He concentrates on reigning and defending, so he will face the winner of tonight’s match at the Royal Rumble. Let’s run down the challengers – Seth and Kevin, gotta lump them together, because they are a team in a match where every man is for themselves, they figured out how to be hyenas to go after the lions of the jungle. It’s smart…for someone too dumb. Seth has no vision for the future, because if he did, he’d realize his wife will leave him if Seth doesn’t get the title. As for Owens, he cant beat Brock for the title either. Maybe they should be traded to Smackdown, because Reigns is a little vulnerable without his special counsel nowadays. One week without Heyman and Reigns has Covid. Heyman dodges MVP since on one else talks about him anyway.

Lashley is a worthy challenger. They’ve never met, never shook hands, almost like they avoided each other. The first time they met, Lashley speared Lesnar though the wall. The second time, Lashley speared him again. The third time, Lashley put Brock in The Hurt Lock, and it didn’t look like Brock was going to get out. This is all the testament to how good Lashley is, except on all three of these occasions, he was hitting Lesnar from a blindside or behind, so if Lashley wins tonight, he’l l face Brock face-to-face, and that’s a different story.

Heyman finally mentions Big E, saying they have nothing bad to say about him. A great champion. He did WWE justice, a credit to WWE, to the company, to the audience and viewers and lineage of the title. He is all that and more and would still be champion if he didn’t have to face Brock. If Big E wins tonight and gets the rematch, sir, it will be an honor to witness that match. Gonna lose, which is no shame, but it’d be an honor to watch him lose.

Randy Orton is backstage, in comes Riddle on his scooter, Orton stares at the cam with a head shake.

Before th match can start, Otis and Gable attack Orton and Riddle. Otis sends Riddle out of the ring and hits a T-Bone suplex.

Match 1: Randy Orton and Matt Riddle vs The Alpha Academy
We come back and the match has started. Gable hits a Tiger Suplex to Riddle and covers quickly, but Riddle kicks out. Gable picks the ankle, Riddle kicks away. Otis get a tag. Gable pulls Riddle into the air and into Otis’ hands. He slams Riddle down hard and covers for 1..2..N!O!! Tag to Gable and he drops Riddle again, then hits a body slam after another tag to Otis. Otis hits the ropes, and drops an elbow. Crowd is very Pro Orton. Otis crushes the head with his hand, he hits a knee, sends Riddle into the corner, Riddle hits an elbow, flies over Otis, and Otis hits the post. Riddle reaches for a tag, Otis grabs his trunks, Riddle hops over the back, high kick to Otis, Gable is nearby Orton, he pulls the leg out and Riddle doesn’t get a tag. Splash in the corner from Otis to Riddle.

Orton and Gable fight outside, Otis runs out, attacks, he re-enters the ring, Riddle hits a knee, Riddle with an RK—nooooo, huge slam from Otis, and a cover for 1..2…3!!!

Winners: Otis and Chad Gable
I’m torn here, because I don’t like that they lost in less than three, but at the same time, if they are serious about Gable and Otis, then this can do a lot for them. They looked like a team, crisp, quick, and powerful.
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: 2:49

Lashley and MVP are talking with Sarah. MVP doesn’t want to get ahead of themselves. Lashley must overcome insurmountable odds to beat Big E, Owens, and Rollins. Herculean task. MVP walks away.

Lashley says Brock fears him.

Backstage, Otis is holding Bert.

A video package goes over the history of Omos and AJ.

Bert asks Otis how he feels about AJ’s regrets. Omos palms the face, says this is how he reacts, then leaves.

Dana and Reggie try a convoluted entrance and fail miserably.

Looks like she tried to do an upside down split on the apron for Reggie to flip over into the ring, but she fell.

So if Dana gets pinne, she loses the title.

Match 2: 24/7 Mixed Tag Team Match
Dana Brooke and Reggie vs Tamina and Akira Tozawa
Reggie and Akira to start. Akira gets rolled up real quick for 2. Rehies escapes a suplex and hits a dropkick. Dana wants a tag, but Reggie says to chill for a bit. Akira with a right hand. Akira with a running kick, but Reggie moves and he hits Tamina. Tamina shows anger as Akira shows immediate regret. Tamina screams and slaps Akira in the face.

Reggie does a front flip seated senton and a pin for 1..2…3!!!

Winners: Dana Brooke and Reggie
CRAP
Total Rating: -***
Match Time: 1:12

Liv Morgan and Becky Lynch video package.

We come back from break, and Becky wants to talk about 2022. She says a new year inspires a lot of hope for people. It doesn’t matter if you’ve failed your whole life, new year, new you, huh? She knows all the women in the back have the same NY Resolutions, but unfortunately for them, the thing at the top of her list is to remain the Women’s Champion. If we have learned anything from the past 3-4 years, she is the baddest that comes. They cannot beat her. Many have tried and failed, but they can beat her. She has taken the time to think about the last year and the decisions she made. Were they right or wrong? What has she become? She’s become a work of art.

Say you go to a museum and see a famous art, and it makes you feel. She makes us feel, because that’s what good art does. The other thing about fine art is that it reveals the truth. She is here as WWE’s Vincent Van GOAT. She is here to tell us all that we wont lose that final ten pounds and all the girls in the back will not finally win the title. Look no further than Liv Morgan. On Day One, she broke her promise to herself and to all of us.

Liv is out, says new year and same delusional Bex. She disses Becky’s jacket, then tells her that there is no one harder on herself than Liv, so don’t worry about her. She’s been thinking. She knows and knows that Becky knows just how close she was to winning the title on Saturday. Becky did get one thing wrong, though; the only thing she ever promised herself was that she would give it her all and leave everything she had in the ring every time she got the chance to step in it – and that’s exactly what she did at Day One.

Becky calls this loely, says maybe one day she’ll win the title – when she retires.

Bianca Belair’s music hits and out comes the girl with the hair.

She’s tired of hearing week after week that Becky is untouchable. No one is buying it. She doesn’t trust Becky as far as she can throw her. Actually, that doesn’t make sense because she can throw Becky prtty damned far. She may have taken a little detour with Piper, stepped aside to allow others to catch up, but now Bianca is right back in line for Becky.

She says the two of them have fallen victim to her routine: Beat, Sleep, Repeat. Maybe they should start a support group. Liv tells Becky she hasn’t been in the Women’s Locker Room in years, and asks Bianca to go to the back.

Bianca says her and Becky og ta score to settle way before hers and Livs.

Becky says they need to figure it out one on one, and she has shared the spotlight, so the two of them can leave and let her know who it’ll be a bit later.

Liv and Bianca do the totally face thing and double team Becky by sening her outside of the ring.

The two go at it, with Bianca getting Liv in the corner until Liv kicks her out, hits an enziguri, then screams. Bianca with a punch, looks for a KOD, but Becky is back in to Man Handle Slam Bianca.

Backstage, Owens meets up with Seth. Seth is glad he’s here, he has a problem. He is wondering what to do about Heyman – does he staple his lips shut or rip his tongue out. He’s debating.

Match 3: RAW Women’s Tag Team Championship Match
Carmella and Queen Zelina vs Rhea Ripley and Nikki A.S.H.
Vega starts with a slap to Rhea’s face, which she no-sells. Tag to Nikki and Vega gets a cravat from behind on her. Rhea cheers Nikki on, as Nikki flails under the hold. Arm drag from Nikki. Nikki misses a clothesline and Vega pulls her head back hard. A sneak attack to Rhea sends her off the apron.

Crucifix pin from Vega. 1…2..3!!!

Winners: Carmella and Queen Zelina
Are they even trying tonight?
Total Rating: -*
Match Time: 2:32

We get the prerequisite Royal Rumble promos with The Street Profits, and now Rey and Dominik doin the same.

Match 4: The Street Profits vs Apollo Crews and Commander Azeez
Azeez and Ford start, but big boy powers Ford into the corner. Ford slinks out and goes hard with some rights and lefts, then a weir looking slap. It’s funny. Lol. Ford hits the ropes then gets shoulder tackled down hard. Body slam from Azeez, then a headbutt. Ford with an eniguri. Tag to Dawkins, tag to Apollo. Clothesline, splash in the corner, whip and a back elbow from Dawkins. He hits a spinning splashi n the corner, double underhook into a neckbreaker. Cover for 1….NO!!! Azeez in to pull Dawkins off of Apollo. Dawkins holds the ropes, Azeez falls ot the outside, lands on his feet, pulls Dawkins out of the ring,

Dawkins posts him, enters the ring, and Apollo hits an Enziguri. Tag from Ford. Spinebuster from Dawkins. Frog Splash. 1….2…3!!!

Winners: The Street Profits
Lol. Are they just trying to avoid possible injuries tonight?
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: 2:17

Priest is asked about the stipulation for his match tonight. He says he wants to keep the cool, calm, collected version of himself, so he can win. He wants Dolph to fight like a man. If not, he’s aware what will happen. Either way, either side, he’ll remain champion.

Pearce and Sonya are backstage. Piper comes in, pissed, saying she will not be cut in line again. Pearce wonders why she is yelling. She is tired, everyone is tired of seeing the same women get chance after chance at the title. She demands a title shot.

Sonya says next Monday, we can have a Triple Threat: Bianca vs Liv vs Piper. The winner will take on Becky at the Royal Rumble.

Match 5: United States Championship Match
Dolph Ziggler vs Damian Priest
(If Priest is counted out or DQ’d, he loses the title)
Ziggler slinks out from under Priest and slaps him in the face. Priest corners him and beats down but gets to 4. Kick form Priest, and Ziggler falls to the outside. Ref starts the count. Priest leaves the ring, hops down, and spnis with a kick, misses, so Dolph flies for a DDT, but Priest stops it momentarily until Dolph lands on the top of the barricade and shoots off with a DDT.

We are back, and Priest wants a Broken Arrow. Dolph escapes and send Priest into the corner. Dolph with a running knee and a cover for 1…2..NO!!! Ziggler tries to piss Priest off, Priest hits up from his knees. He hits an uppercut, showing his anger, hits a DDt to Ziggler, covers for 1..2..NO!!!! Priest heads to the top rope, Ziggler runs up the corner and locks the head, but Priest holds on! Priest drops, drops Ziggler, gets a kick to the chin. Priest heads back up the corner, but Roode is here to trip up Priest while the ref is distracted! Fameasser! Cover for 1..2…NO!!!!! Priest is pissed. He sees Roode. Hard clothesline to Ziggler. Priest leaves the ring and attacks Roode! Ref starts the count. Priest grabs a chair. Ref to 5. He almost smacks Roode on the back, but ref hits 9, and Priest rolls inside. Ziggler wants Priest to hit ihm! Priest looks like he might. Roode is on the apron, screaming for Priest to hit him. Priest shoots the chair into the face of Roode. ZIG ZAG FROM ZIGGLER! Cover for 1..2…..NO!!!

Superkick attempt, but Priest locks the head! Reckoning! Cover for 1..2…3!!!

Winner: Damian Priest
Congrats on a match that was longer than the first four matches of the show combined!
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 9:36

Vince is on the phone backstage. Theory comes into his office. Vince says an apology is a weakness. He never apologizes. Theory says he didn’t mean to interrupt. Vince says people mean to interrupt, why else wouyld they do it? Theory asks about his rematch. Vince says he lost, then he made up for it by attacking Finn from behind. We haven’t seen him since. Admirable quality, says Vince. If ya cant beat him one way, you have to find out how to beat them. Theory brings up the whole expect the unexpected thing. Vince offers Theory a seat. He has a surprise. He tells Theory to move back a bit. Vince says Theory is in the Rumble. If he wins, he goes all the way to Mania. Theory is shocked?

We get a recap of Beth Phoenix coming out at Day One absolutely furious….but not furious enough to wit for her music to hit before she went after Maryse.

Miz and Maryse are outraged. He had Edge right where he wanted him. One finisher from ending the match. He is tired of constantly reminding us that he is the only two-time Grand Slam Champion. He is an all time great and someone who has surpassed his peers. Yet he still must “prove” himself in a match against Edge. He saw the look of defeat last night, the look of a young boy asking for his mommy. Edge deserved to lose. We all know it.

We go back to Last Monday when Edge played Brood music then dropped zero blood.

The crowd must love to see bad things happen to good people, but that doesn’t affect them because true love always wins. Miz vowed he’d end Edge’s career, but when he got into that ring, it wasn’t old Edge, it was Edge who hid behind his wife. What kind of man does that.

Crowd: “YOU!” lol. Nice.

Edge doesn’t deserve respect. Who relies on his wife to fight his own battles? Who would do that? Maryse says he would never because he is strong, brave, handsome, and that’s why she married him. She loves him so much. She says if Beth was here, she’d punch her right in the face.

Well aren’t we lucky…

Beth’s music hits, and out comes The Glamazon. Edge isn’t far behind. They have a cute lil pose together before heading to the ring.

What was that Maryse was saying? Beth gives them her chin, but Edge figured they wouldn’t do anything. Most people would take the L and move on. Too bad Edge knows Miz better than that. He knew Miz would come out to make every excuse in the book. Could have been the Browns lost last week. He knows he oesnt have to point out the hypocrisy here. Wow, Miz has nothing to say? For once? Edge doesn’t ask Beth to help her fight his battles. Beth says Day One was all her idea, and Edge’s idea is this: to rectify this tragedy, Edge and Beth vs The Miz and Maryse at The Royal Rumble.

The Grit Couple vs The It Couple

Crowd gives a Yes chant. Miz laughs it off, asking Edge if he is serious. Miz takes forever and a day to accept. Maryse isn’t happy about this, apparently. She and Miz argue, Beth looks to punch Maryse, but she’s faking it. Maryse falls on her ass, embarrassed.

Big E, the former champ, is here with Bert. He is asked about his motivation. Big E, seemingly upset, has few words. He says being champion meant a lot to him, and it meant something to a lot of people, too. There’s no shame in losing to Brock, but what we don’t do is get kicked and stay down. Tonight, he starts his path back to reclaiming what is his, and there isn’t a soul on earth who can stop him.

Man…so good.

Match 6: AJ Styles vs Omos
Omos locks up with AJ and sends him into the corner. AJ hits some rights, then runs ut of the ring quickly. Omos walks over th top rope, AJ kicks his leg, Omos re-enters the ring, hits the ropes. Big Boot to AJ. Omos corners AJ, lifts his chin, and whips AJ into the corner. He sends him so hard, AJ falls and rolls into the ringpost hard. AJ favors his back as he falls to the outside. Omos sends AJ back into the ring. Omos back into the ring. He gets kicked in the knee, another, a right, a flurry, a big clothesline. Omos eats it all, lifts AJ on his shoulders, AJ falls off the shoulders and heads to the corner, he high kicks the face of Omos. Another kick. AJ to the apron. Right arm, calls for the Phenomenaal Forearm, but Omos catches him by the head, Aj blocks and hangs Omos up. Phenomenal Fo—NO!!! CHOP TO THE CHEST MIDAIR!

Omos corners AJ, sits him on the top rope, grabs his chin. Omos gets AJ on the shoulders, presses him up hard and drops him hard to the mat.

Omos locks the head with his hands, lifts AJ up hard, and slams him down with a toss. Omos rolls AJ over and covers for 1..2…3!!!

Winner: Omos
Well this left me kind of deflated, as I’m sure it did AJ. The problem with forcing this is that no one had time to garner care for AJ Styles, so this loss ultimately means nothing to the fans, nor does the win.
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 3:43

We come back to the show and rewind back to 4 months ago at Extreme Rules when Alexa Bliss has a breakdown after Charlotte rips her doll apart.

Apparently, we will get Alexa Bliss’ Journey Back to Raw next week.

Match 7: Kevin Owens vs Seth Rollins vs Bobby Lashley vs Big E
Lashley goes straight for Seth, Owens and Big E go at it in the ring. Lashley takes Seth outside and lifts him to send him into the post, as he typically does. Big E drops Owens in the ring, getting him to the apron. Big E hits the ropes, goes for the bigt spear, TOTALLY MISSES OWENS, hitting him with just a bit of the shoulder.

Big E enters the ring, as does Lashley. They stare each other down. Lashley grabs Big E, hits a suplex, in comes oWens, and he eats a neckbreaker. Lashley locks the head, and gets a delayed suplex to Owens. Lashley leaves the ring, as does Owens. Lashley looks to spear Owens, but Owens moves and Lashley hits the barricade, busting it up in the process. Big E is behind Seth, and he hits a belly to belly. Big E hits a right hand to Owens, then uncovers the announce table. Seth heads to the apron, Big E attacks from behind. He hooks the arm, Owens is there to stop him and send Big E into the ringsteps. Seth sends Big E into the ring post as Owens tosses a pice of the barricade onto Lashley. Seth tells Owens to help him with Big E, bringing him over to the announce table. They set Big E up for a powerbomb onto the table and Big E looks like he’s had enough.

Back and Rollins and Owens have Lashley an Big E hurting in the ring. Owens whips Seth INTO Lashley, then Seth whips Owens into Lashley. They look to Big E, and Owens sends Seth….right into an STO> Superkick from Owens. Clothesline from Lashley! Owens and Seth help each other up. Big E stares Lashley down. They turn to Owens and Rollins. Owens and Rollins leave the ring fast, heading though the crowd. Lashley chases Seth, Big E chases Owens. They go up the steps, fighting to through the crowd.

We are in the concession stand of the arena. Owens tosses Big E into a light fixture near a merchandise table while Lashley locks Set in a Hurt Lock while we learn that a submission means nothing unless it’s in the ring. Owens slaps Lashley with a trash can lid, which Lashley no-sells. Big E is there to rock bottom him into the merch table.

Back again from break, and we are still fighting in the stands. Big E and Lashley are double teaming Seth, right hands from both, laying into Rollins. Owens is HIGH ON THE BARRICADE! He flies off with a senton! Nice. We eventually head back towards the ring, with Big E entering the ring first and Owens heading to the top rope. Swanton to Big E! Frog Splash from Seth! Cover for 1..2…NO!!!! Owens didn’t even try to stop the pin, looking to celebrate the win! Interesting!

Seth looks at Big E, Owens talks to him about winning. Seth is up, Owens is up, Big E is ready. SUPERKICK FROM OWENS AND ROLLIINS! Seth tries for a stomp, but Big E escapes, until Seth attacks nad sends him into a pop-up powerbomb! Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Lashley there to stop the pin! Belly to belly to Owens. One for Seth! He leaves the ring and goes all Strowman on Owens. Back in the ring, Seth hits a rolling elbow. Big E grabs him, Lashley wants aspear, hits Big E with one!!!

Seth gets a spear for his troubles!! Owens in! Superkick! Wants a stunner! SPEAR FROM LASHLEY! Cover! 1…2…3!!!

Winner: Bobby Lashley
While I am totally on board for the spectacle that is Brock vs Bobby, I just can’t find it in me to be ok with truncating the run from Big E for the sake of this match at a PPV where the spectacle is a match that isn’t for the title. I also strongly feel like if done properly, a Brock and Bobby match writes itself WITHOUT the title. As for the match, Owens continues to be a God send, and Lashley is as motivated as ever.
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 18:39

Brock Lesnar is shown watching backstage. He is asked by Bert for a comment. Lesnar says he does: tell Roman he’ll see him this Friday on Smackdown.

End Show