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Elimination Chamber happened last night, I’m not wearing pants tonight, Becky Lynch is amazing, and the world keeps on spinnin.

RAW starts off with Triple H in the middle of the ring to tell us that it is so close to mania that you could cut the tension with his nose! He highlights last night, and the awesome moments like Sasha and Bayley, or like Kofi coming so close to the title. He then brings up Becky, and how nothing will stop her from getting to Charlotte or Ronda. Corporately, he must say that if she does this again, she will be arrested and prosecuted. Personally, however, it was pretty damned cool. It was. Speaking of pretty cool, there was a special release on ESPN this morning – the first inductees into the WWE Hall of Fame are….D-Generation X. HBK, HHH, Road Dogg, Billy Gunn, X-Pac, and Chyna.

If that’s not enough to prove to you that we are on the Road to Mania, he’s going to pour gas on the fire. He brings up NXT. He wants to introduce us to some people who will be making their debut tonight – starting with RICHOCHET!!!!!

Ohhhhhh shiiiiiiidddddddd…..

Triple H also introduces…Aleister Black!

Cole does a little voice over to mini video packages for each in a cheesy way that only Michael Cole can.

Triple H introduces next…Johnny Gargano!!

MR WRESTLING MADE IT!

Triple H finally introduces Tommaso Ciampa/

Triple H says right now, all hell is going to break lose. He points out some tables and says that tonight there will be a table match, and it will be Baron Corbin vs Braun Strowman.

Match 1: TABLES MATCH
Baron Corbin vs Braun Strowman
Braun attacks immediately, but Baron attacks the ribs. Braun shows pain, but sends Corbin over the top rope to the outside. He follows then hits a right, and sends Corbin into the barricade hard. Braun grabs a table from under the ring. Corbin grabs Braun and sends him into the barricade. Baron grabs the table and pushes it back underneath the ring. Braun hits a right, Corbin sends him into the barricade. Again. Ribs first into the barricade. He grabs Braun by the head and sends him into the barricade once again. Baron whips Braun, but it’s reversed and Corbin hits the barricade back first. Braun heads over to Corbin and hits a headbutt, then a right hand to the face. Braun goes back to the table he was working on earlier. Corbin slides into the ring s Braun puts the table into the ring. Braun hops up on the apron. Corbin kicks him while he is entering. Corbin with kicks onto the ribs area. Corbin rips the tank top that Braun is wearing off. He stomps over and over onto the rings of Braun. Braun rolls away and Corbin kicks the table out of the ring. Braun stands on the outside of the ring. Corbin hits a right hand directly to the ribs. He hits another one. Stomp to the ribs. Corbin stands on Braun’s side. Corbin sends Braun into the apron’s edge hard, back first. Corbin takes Braun near the metal barricade and hits him right in front of a few kids. He drags Braun up the ramp a bit then looks for a suplex, but can’t hit it. Braun reverses. SUPLEX ONTO THE RAMP! They end up at the top of fthe ramp. Braun moves all the stuff off the announce table, then goes to grab Corbin. He gets ready for a Powerslam, but Corbin floats off and shoves Braun. Braun knocks the announce table over a little just as we go to commercial.

Back from a break, and Corbin sends Braun into the post. Braun is able to shove Corbin, but he stops himself from running into the table. Braun grabs Corbin, goes for a Powerslam, Corbin floats off, runs outside, runs back inside, and hits a clothesline to Braun. He mounts Braun then hits a few right hands. Braun rolls to the outside. Corbin follows. He grabs Braun and attacks the ribs yet again. He sends Braun into the barricade face first. Corbin grabs a kendo stick from under the ring. He lifts Braun’s arm and gets ready to slap the ribs with the stick. He does. Corbin sends Braun into the steps face first. Corbin hops up on the apron, gloats, then runs for a dive. Braun quickly grabs the top part of the steps and collides with Corbin mid-air! Braun smacks him with the steps one time, then gain, to the side of the head. Braun tosses the steps aside. He shuffles over to the timekeeper’s area, grabs Corbin, and sends him into the barricade. He sends Corbin back into the ring. Corbin up in the corner. Braun runs right into a kick. Right hand to Braun.

Corbin runs, Braun shoves him, Corbin goes under the ropes, back into the ring, but Braun catches him! Powerslam into the table!!!

Winner: Braun Strowman
Can Baron just go away now?
Match Quality: **
Personal Enjoyment: *
Total Rating: *1/2

As Braun makes his way up the ramp, Heyman comes out. Braun grabs him by the neck and Heyman screams that Braun is hurting him. Braun releases Heyman, and Heyman attempts to collect himself. He finally balances himself out and has a message for us, but we have to watch a commercial first.

But who likes commercials? Here’s Stacy Keibler instead

Back from the break, Heyman is not surprised of Braun’s actions. Everyone should be jealous of his client. He is the biggest star in the history of MMA and wrestling and entertainment, which is why he has put something together at his own expense, and it’s the history of Brock.

Heyman does a little voice over to talk about the harsh farm conditions of Brock’s past, and how they helped shape him into the best wrestler in the country. It’s nothing we don’t know, so let’s look at Stacy some more.

Heyman talks about Taker’s streak, and how we still boo him but there’s nothing we can do about it. He then tells us what “impromptu” means. He wonders how many of us believe Seth will win come Mania. He then questions the amount of fire in Rollins’ soul and whether it’s enough to burn down Suplex City.

Finn Balor interrupts him as we go to break.

Hi Feather!

So, apparently, Finn wasn’t out to interrupt Heyman, he was out to do a promo, and seemingly, Heyman just walked to the back, nonplussed at the fact that Finn just interrupted him.

Anyway, Finn talks about living a dream as the champion. He is proud to continue the legacy of the strap, and he plans on defending the title—

He is interrupted by….Lio Rush.

Lio says that Fin doesn’t deserve the title, Lashley deserves the title. From behind, Lashley attacks Finn. He stomps Finn over and over. Lio is in the ring now and he attacks Finn in the corner. He shouts for Lashley to lift him up. Lashley hits a body slam. Lio heads to the top rope. He climbs the corner like my nephew climbs counters.

Ricochet is here! He ducks under Lio, hops on the apron, kicks Lashley, moonsaults onto Lio, then kicks Lashley out of the ring. Lash and Lio on either side of the ring as Ricochet and Finn go back to back. This’ll likely lead to a tag team match, playa.

Match 2: Finn Balor and Ricochet vs Bobby Lashley and Lio Rush
Lio shoves Ricochet. Ricochet shoves back. Side headlock from Lio is reversed by Ricochet. He cinches Lio down. Lio sends him to the ropes. Ricochet, misses a right hand, a kick, then a drag, gets tossed with a hurricanrana, but Ricochet lands on his feet! He catches a kick, flips Lio over, misses a few rights. Ricochet ducks, misses a hit, head scissors, dropkick to Lio. Lio in the corner of his buddy. Lio looks like a kid who lost a fight with someone he used to bully. Tag to Lashley who stares down Ricochet. Lockup and Ricochet hits a go behind. He locks the head. Lashley lifts up Ricochet and slams him down chest first hard. Lashley works the left arm, drags Ricochet down hard. He tanks the arm and yells at Lio. Lashley works the left hand. Ricochet flips out of the arm lock and hits a few right hands to the face. He tries to whip, but Lashley holds on, sends him into the conrer. Ricochet with a kick, then a dropkick sending Lashley to the outside. Ricochet hits the ropes, springboards off the opposite side, back flips, and lands in a pose like a badass. Lashley re-enters the ring at 4. He tags in Lio. Lio says he’s ready. He enters the ring. He tells Ricochet to back up and tag in Finn. Finn locks up. He sends Lio into the corner, releases a hold, goes for a right, but Lio ducks under and spins towards his corner. Test of strength attempt but Lio tags in Lashley. Hard kick from Lashley. Lashley sends Finn into the corner. Kick from Lashley. Lock of the head. Suplex from Lashley. He scooped Finn, and that looked great. Pin for 1..2..NO!! Headlock from Lashley. Finn fights out, but Lashley hits a Pay Dirt and gets a pin for 1..2..NO!!! tag to Lio who attacks Finn’s midsection. Whip is reversed, Lio with a sunset flip, Balor rolls through. Dropkick to the face! Finn grabs the leg of Lio. Lio tries to claw for a tag. Balor pulls his leg and sends Lio into the corner. Kick to the gut, he sends Liio down on his back then stomps Lio over and over till the ref hits his 4. Chop to Lio in the corner. Another chop to Lio after a whip. Another whip/chop combo. Slingblade. Dropkick in the corner. Finn heads to the top rope. Lashley rushes up on him. High kick from Finn. Lio lips the back of the leg while Finn is on the apron. Tag to Lashley. Finn is back in the ring. Lashley works the arm, which is weird, considering what Lio just did. Pin for 1..2..NO!!! Chin/arm lock from behind. Lashley sends Finn to the apron. Finn hits a shoulder .He knocks lio on his ass. Sunset flip, but Lashley holds onto the ropes. He stomps the chest, then hits a quick body slam and a cover for 1..2..NO!!!

Back from the break, and Lashley has a rest hold on Finn. Finn reaches for a tag, but Lashley stops it. Whip to the heel corner. Lashley runs into a dropkick. Finn sends lio off the apron. Finn runs for a tag but Lashley stops him then hits a right in the corner. Tag to Lio. Lio enters the ring then works a rest hold on Finn. Right hand to Finn’s face. Finn stands up out of it, locks the head, and drps Finn with an elbow to the chest. Finn crawls for a tag. Lio turns. He STOPS the tag! Lio locks the hea and gator rolls Finn into the corner and tags in Lashley. Lashley grabs Finn’s head, locks him up and goes for a powerbomb. Finn hops off and shoots the legs. STOMP! Tag to Ricochet! Tag to Lio. Clothesline Clothesline. Neckbreaker off the rope. Shoulder to the corner. Dropkick off the top rope, Springboard dropkick to Lashley. Ricochet dives ove the top rope ONTO LIO!!! He sends Lio into the ring. Lashley walks over and chases him into the barricade! Richochet with a moonsault off the barricade.

Finn there to dropkick Lashley!! Springboard off the top to Lio! Ricochet with a 630!! Pin for 1…2….3!!!

Winners: Finn Balor and Ricochet!
Lashley looked really good here…quicker and more crips for some reason.
Match Quality: **1/2
Personal Enjoyment: ***
Total Rating: **3/4

In honor of Richochet…

Backstage, Drew talks to HHH. He tells him he wants the main event of Mania. He wants Seth Rollins’ spot. In comes Dean who slaps the SHIT outta Drew. HHH asks if he wants a match with him. Drew wants the match.

Lucha House Party comes out, but no one cares about them so we get a recap of Vince telling Becky she is no longer in the Women’s Title match at Mania.

Match 3: Zack Ryder and Curt Hawkins vs Lince Dorado and Grand Metalik
Metalik and Hawkins to start. Hawkins is able to tag in Ryder. He side Russian Leg Sweeps then covers for 1..2.NO!! Whip is reversed. Metalik runs into some knees. Dropkick from Ryder. Kick to his face from Metalik, sending him to the outside. Tag to Lince who hits a hurricanrana off the apron. Ryder gets setn into the ring for a pin. 1..2.NO! Chin lock from behind. Tag to Metalik and they double team Ryder with two chops, two kicks, and two dropkicks. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Tag to Lince who comes in to lock the head of Ryder alongside Metalik. They go for a suplex, but Ryder lands on his feet and hits a double neckbreaker. Tag to Hawkins. Right hands ovr and over . Whip reversed and he knocks down Lince. Dropkick. Another to Metalik. Hawkins with a swinging into a backslide for 1..2..NO!!! Kick to Hawkins. ROLLUP! 1…2..NO!!! Hawkins with a body slam into a cover for 1..2..NO!!! Metalik! Ryder sends him to the outside. Dropkick to Ryder. Enziguri from Hawkins.

Hawkins is up. He rushes, knocks Metalik off the apron. Hurricanra into a pin for 1…2…3!!

Winners: Lucha House Party
Yawn
Match Quality: *
Personal Enjoyment: *
Total Rating: *

Hawkins is disappoint.

Heavy Machinery are here to cut a promo at the top of the stage with Charley. They have a pact, where they have each other’s back. They are interrupted by Lacey Evans.

She walks by them and heads down the ramp, then back up the rmap, and…stands behind them?

Then, Heavy Machinery head down the ramp like The Bushwackers, then back up the ramp and circle Lacey.

What….the fuck….was that?

Backstage, Tommasa and Gargano are chatting, but in come Gable and Roode who wonder why they get a match with The Revival, and not Gable/Roode. Gable won’t bring up how he beat both of them in NXT, but on RAW they have to start from the bottom and rise up.

Gargano says that they are here to take over.

In come The Revival. They say it’s been a while. Tommasa isn’t here looking for their respect; they’re here to make an impression at their expense, so good luck.

The Revival doesn’t need respect.

Match 4: Tomassa Ciampa and Johnny Gargano vs The Revival
Gargano and Dash to start. Gargano works the arm then tags in Tommasa. Front face headlock and Dash backs Tom to the ropes, who retorts with a hard chop. Tag to Gargano, who lifts his feet up in tetween th ropes and Tom sends Dash into them. Dash sends Gargano into th corner. Tag to Dawson, who sends Johnny into the corner. Hard chop. Right hand to the face. A kick to the mid section. Chop to the chest. Gargano sends Dason into the corner. Chop. Another. Reverseal. Uppercut from Dawson. Whip to the ropes. Gargano hops ove a running Dawson, but he hits an elbow for a tackle. Gargano off the ropes, locks up with Dawson and sends him to the outside. Dash in the ring and Gargano ends him to the outside. Gargano with a suicide dive! He superkick Dash into Tommasa who checks him down onto the mat!
Back from a break, and Dash and Gargano are back in the middle of the ring. Dash hits the mid-section with a shoulder then tags in Dasson. They look for a double team move, but Gargano floats over, locks the head, bounces off of Dawson, and hits a DDT on Dash! TAG TO CIAMPA!! Kick to Dawson. Again. Lock up from behind. GERMAN!! AGAIN!!! Dash in, gets sent over the top rope. A third GERMAN! Ciampa hits the ropes. Knee to the face. Cover for 1…2…NO!!!! Underhook from Ciampa, lift, but Dash holds on, gets a tag, comes in and flies off the top rope then pins for 1..2..NO!! Tag to Dawson. He lokcs the head. Ciampa escpaes and hits a hard forearm, again, hard slap, goes for a spinning right, but Dawson hits his own right. Tag to Dash. Shatter Machine Attept, but Gargano is in to dropkick Dawson while Ciampa turns the failed move into a pin! Ciampa sends Dash into the corner buckle! Tag to Gargano! Codebreaker type move to Dash. Pin for 1..2..NO!!! Dawson sends Ciampa into the barricade on the outside then runs into the ring. Gargano with a kick to the head. Rollup to Dash for 1..2..NO!!! Gargano o n the outside. He goes for a spear. But Dash catches him and drops him! Tag to Dawson! He hits a bulldog on Gargano, who is seated on the shoulders of Dash! Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Ciampa sends Dash to the outside. Dawson sends Ciampa to the outside. He grabs the head of Gargano. Siplex attept but Johny lands on the aron. Swinging kick to Daswson. Kick to Dash. Right hand to the face of Johnny from Dawson! He hits the ropes.

BATTERING RAM INTO DAWSON!!! Tag to Ciampa. Both men in. SUPERKICK AND KNEE TO THE HEAD OF DAWSON!!! Pin for 1…..2…….3!!!

Winner:
A hell of a suprising win at a surprising time.
Match Quality: ***
Personal Enjoyment: ****
Total Rating: ***1/2

Backstage, Charley is talking ith Finn and Ricochet. She wants to talk about what Finn has been through the past 24 hours. She wants to know how Finn feels. Finn says that he had his night last night, but tonight was about Ricochet. Welcome to RAW. Finn walks away.

Ricochet says one can envision how you arrie to your dreams but it never goes how you plan. He guarantees, though, that once you live them, it’ll feel better than anything you could ever imagine. He’s at RAW. He can go on for days; if you think you’ve seen the last of him, we are just seeing the beginning. There is one and only Ricochet.

Backstage, Ronda Rousey is shadow boxing with John Cena.

We get an update from Kevin Owens who nearly drops his phone, but catches it. He says he is watching RAW and SD and has never been hungrier. His son comes up with some popcorn and asks for change. There is no change. He says he was reminded of why he fights. He says to trust him, he is ready to fight again.

Sasha and Bayley come out and spend like 200 hours gloating and hugging fans. A YOU DESERVE IT chant starts for them. Bayley must have fallen asleep on some Lucky Charms.

Bayley say that she is feeling it. As we can tell, it was a very emotional night. She was at a total loss for words. She cannot believe that they are there right now as the first ever WWE Tag Team Champions. She forgot WOMEN. Sasha says it’s not a dream anymore, it’s here. We all did this. Its so crazy to think how far they’ve come. From NXT and the history they made, and now to continue this. They’ve always done it together. Matches, traveling, hating each other, loving each other, feeling every emotion together. It’s true; they have the same dream, they have the same dream and goal and can’t imagine doing it with anyone else but Bayley. They are not afraid. They talk about this all the time. It took them going to war to finally realize that it’s together that they can change the world. This is just the beginning. They plan on being champs for a very long time.

Sasha says they have putting their heart and souls in creating these titles, so they will be defending these titles against anyone. There is no stronger connection than The Boss n Hug Connection, and we can Bank on that.

K.

Sasha’s music hits, but the girls we most want to see are here. I’m not surprised but I have zero desire to see this feud.

It’s Nia and Tamina. Nia comes out here to tell the girls to stop because no one wants to see this. She congratulates them then tells Sasha that WOMENS has an E in it. She doesn’t get it, she doesn’t want to ruin the celebration, but everyone knows that Sasha only cares about Sasha. We also know that any time she wins a title, she loses it on her very first defense. Tamina says that last night, they got lucky, but tonight that luck is about to run out.

They rush the ring, but Sasha and Bayley dropkick them off the apron. Nia enters the ring, but Sasha locks on The Bank Statement. Tamina pulls her out and they walk up the ramp to point vigorously.

Nia and Tamina left a horrible taste in my mouth…time for a pallete cleanse.

TWO OF MY FAVORITE THINGS

Match 5: Dean Ambrose vs Drew McIntyre
Drew with a right hand then a hard chop. He hits another one to Dean. Again and again. Dean with a chop. Drew shoves. Dean goes for a crossbody. Drew catches him. Tosses him over. Dean lands on his feet. Elbow to Drew. Drew gets on the apron after getting tossed out. Kick to Drew. Ambrose with a suicide dive! Dean picks up some speed, heads to the corner, gets to the top rope.

CLAYMORE KICK!!! Drew doesn’t cover. He waits. Another CLAYMORE! Pin for 1..2….3!!!

Winner: Dre McIntyre
The Squash Tour Continues
Match Quality: NR
Personal Enjoyment: NR
Total Rating: NR

Rollins is backstage and says he isn’t walking into Mania with a death wish, he’s walking in with an acceptance of his faith. At Mania, it’s all over for Brock. His reign of terror is done. As for his fate, whether he leaves on his own two feet or on a stretcher, he is leaving wit the title.

Dean is nearby, working out the pain in his neck. He then asks Rollins where he was out there, man! Seth wonderes if he’s lost his mind. Dean then looks to Seth. Confused as fuck. He says “eh,” and shrugs.

Lol. K.

Elias is here. He says he is beautiful and charismatic, and much moreso than the crowd. He is interrupted and disrespected weekly. He is a genius and we are blessed to be in his presence. He is inevitably cut off, and it’s by Aleister Black.

If silence and deep sleep is what you seek, then allow him to help Elias, for tonight, he will fade to black.

Match 6: Aleister Black vs Elias White
Lockup and ak nee from Elias. He sends Black into the ropes, and he bounces off with ease. Elias escapes the ring and Black flips off the ropes into the seated position.

Back from a break and Elias gets a barrage of rights in the corner. Knee from Elias. He tosses Balck into the center of the ring and chops, then kicks whips to the ropes, and hits a clothesline. Elias with a snapmare. He grabs the hair and gets a cravat from above. Black can’t shake the hold. Black turns into it after forever and a day. Elias goes for a right but Black hits one of his own, gets pushed against the ropes, bounces off with a hard right to the face. Another. A third knocks Elias down .Eloi with a kick, but Black with a leg sweep then a knee to the head. Black hits the ropes. Springboard moonsault and a pin for 1..2..NO!!! Black to the top rope. He hops off and runs into a KNEE FROM ELIAS! Pin for 1..2..NO!!!

Elias with a whip, but Black escapes and hits The Black Mass! Pin for 1..2…3!!!

Winner:
Y’all, commentary is really bad at this whole debuting star thing….jesus.
Match Quality: *
Personal Enjoyment: ½*
Total Rating: ¾*

Looks like the main event is another Ruby squash.

Match 7: WWE RAW Women’s Championship Match
Ronda Rousey vs Ruby Riot
Hip toss from Ronda. Another. She goes for a few rights in the corner. Ruby misses some. Ronda hits a gut shot. Liv and Sarah take Ruby out of the ring. Ruby re-enters the ring. She grabs the hair. Knees from Ronda. STO from Ruby. Cover for 1..NO! Kick from Ruby. She drives a knee into the back of Ronda then kicks the midsection. Ruby grabs the hand and works in a test of strength. She bends back the hands, but Ronda is mas fuerte. She flips Ronda down, Ronda tries to turn it into a Triangle Choke, but Ruby turns this into a pin for 1..2..NO!!!

Back from a break and Ruby rolls out of the ring only for Ronda to head out and roll her back in. Ronda enters the ring and Ruby hits a spear! Ronda goes full Julia Stiles, but Ruby catches her in the crner and sends her into the turnbuckle. Ruby heads to the 2nd rope then falls with a senton and a pin for 1..2…..NO!!!

Winner:

Match Quality:
Personal Enjoyment:
Total Rating: