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It’s MJF’s Gum Guy, and I’m still ridin the high from Wednesday, y’all! Let’s see if it carries over, or gives Smackdown an unfair disadvantage.

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We start Smackdown with The Dirt Sheet. They’ve got some gossip for us. Tonight, they expose the truth behind Bailey. Reveal the reason WWE Management tried to erase Sami from history. They also dig into the Samoan family that holds secrets Jey tries to hide. Miz has the hot gos, as he says, and wants to talk about the departure of Mandy Rose.

Morrison says this must be seen to be believed.

We head to Talking Smack last week where The Miz dropped some breaking news. He is not playing mind games with Otis and he is not trying to get revenge. He is trying to help Otis. He knows the pressures of the contract and knows Otis must be looking for every opportunity possible, and Otis couldn’t do that. He sent Mandy away, and now Otis can focus on cashing in.

Or, he could give it to John, says Morrison. Miz says he sent away the one true obstacle Otis had. He will get over it, and from what Miz hears, Mandy already has.

Morrison brings up Ziggler, and how they used to date.

Otis is as tired of this segment as I am, and out he comes with his lunch and his briefcase. He rushes the ring, takes Miz down, clocks John one to the face. He sends Miz out, then Morrison, then the chairs. Miz tries to escape through the “crowd,” but Tucker is there to stop him and send him back in the ring. T-Bone to Miz. Another to Morrison to the outside. Splash in the corner to The Miz. Caterpillar to The Miz. We get a big splash off the top to Miz.

Otis grabs the pants of Miz and rips them off to expose The Miz in white briefs. Morrison tries to cover him up with a jacket as they run up the ramp.

Backstage, Morrison tells Miz that he doesn’t think his plan is working, while Miz says this is all a part of the plan.

In comes Kayla, asking if Miz regrets pissing Otis off. Miz gets a phone call, asks, “Did you see it? Is it enough?” The Miz smiles in evil and leaves with Morrison.

Match 1: Gran Metalik vs Cesaro
Cesaro rushes the corner, Gran side steps and rolls up for 1..2..NO!!! He hits the ropes, catches Cesaro with a hurricanrana. Metalik on the top rope, Kalisto and LInce both try to help him from below, and Metalik flies into a body slam. Apparnetly, the story is that Lince and Kalisto have competing advice for Gran while he’s in the ring, causing confusion. Metalik with rights, Cesaro shoves him into the corner then hits an uppercut. Boot out of the corner. Hurricanrana off the top rope to Cesaro. Kick to the gut, right hand. Another. Another. Whip and Cesaro reverses then hits a hard clothesline of his own. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Cesaro works the arm from behind, tugging on the head of Gran Metalik by the chin. Gran turns into it, Cesaro rushes the corner, misses a shoulder, Metalik on the apron. High kick to Cesaro. He goes for a springboard, but both Kalisto and Lince hop on the apron, both saying “springboard” like idiots. The ref kicks them both out. Metalik is distracted, and Cesaro shoves him off the apron as Kalisto and Lince argue up the ramp. Metalik with a surprise springboard moonsault to the outside!

We are back, and Metalik gets a big boot to his face!! Damn. Pin for 1..2..NO!!! Cravat from behind. Gran attacks the mid section, so Cesaro uppercuts him into the corner. He sits Gran on the top, splits the legs, and heads to the top. Metalik fights back and Cesaro is seated on the top rope. Head scissors sends Cesaro down hard to the mat! Cover for 1..2..NO!!!

Metalik to the top. He hits a moonsault, but boots are up and Metalik eats it on the chin! Running uppercut! Nuetralizer to Gran Metalik! Pin for 1.2…..3!!!!

Winner: Cesaro
The problem with the WWE’s stop/start writing method is that they throw something out there that we’ve never seen before from wresters that have never done this before, making it, at best, just not believable, and at worst, completely diminishing what little character the wrestler has attempted to build. In what world do seasoned wrestlers hop on the apron midmatch to tell their partner how to do a move that he has done countless time? In what world do you give the one guy of the group who got a shot at the IC Title any kind of advice? Wrestling wise, you can’t knock either of them. They know what to do to look good.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 7:58

Kayla’s backstage with Jey USo. Tonight, he teams with Roman to take on Sheamus and Corbin, and this time it’s a street fight. She wants to take us to last week when he fought the same team, almost all on his own.

Jey says that Heyman told him last week was a miscommunication. Tonight, he trusts Roman has his back. Tonight won’t be any different than when they were kids. Come The Clash, one of them will have the title. Roman been throwing his weight around since they were little. They’re not little anymore though. He also mentions tonight’s match. Rough work there for Jey who was kinda all over the place, but has some good natural charisma to hide it.

Bliss is here and is all smiles. She welcomes Nikki, calling her “My Best Friend,” as she does it.

Nikki comes out and does her whole entrance deal. Alexa congrats her, but she has some questions. Nikki is ready. What’s her plan of action? It must be different, because Bailey has beaten her before.

Nikki is shocked. She wants to tell Alexa and the entire Universe why this is different – there’s no Sasha Banks. Every single time she faced Bailey, she needed eyes in the back of her head, and now she can just focus on giving her the beating she deserves. She saw what Bailey did to her best friend, and she can still feel the chair that was on her back last week. She was so proud of that. There was so much contempt in her eyes. If Bailey wants to take cheapshots, fine, come Clash of Champions, Nikki will become the new WWE Smackdown Women’s Champion.

Alexa is satisfied with this answer. Nikki has some questions for Alexa, though. What’s goin on with her? Bliss is confused. Nikki brings up last week, where Alexa hit her with Sister Abigail, then just walked off.

Alexa says she can’t explain it. She doesn’t understand it. Theres a change, she can’t control it, and…

Lacey is here to interrupt. She makes fun of the girls having an emotional moment, then calls Nikki a nasty thing, and tells her she should be on her knees thanking Alexa, because when she walked away, she threw Lacey off of her game. Maybe she’s doing the same with this promo. Lacey says Nikki isn’t prepared. Bailey has something Nikki will never have – a mean streak. She’s too nice, too short, and too weak.

Nikki turns to Lacey, and she says Nikki will never beat Bayley. Nikki takes her hanky, blows her nose in it, then tosses it at Lacey. Lacey goes down to pick it up and Nikki attacks her.

Nikki fights her towards the ring, as they have a match next.

Match 2: Nikki Cross vs Lacey Evans
I miss about ten seconds and come back to Lacey tripping up Nikki on the apron. Nikki hops on the back of Lacey in the ring. Lacey backs her into the corner, Nikki hits an elbow, she hops to the 2nd rope and dives off with a crossbody. Nikki works the left arm, locks up with. Cradle, 1…2…NO!!! Misses a short clothesline, and Lacey drops Nikki. She drives her knee to the elbow of Nikki. Another knee. Lacey sends Nikki into the corner and rubs her palm against the face, then hits the ribs. Lacey pulls Nikki’s arm around the ropes then boots Nikki. Another kick from Lacey sends Nikki into the corner hard. Swinging Bronco Buster. Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Lacey grabs Nikki and pulls her by the lft arm, twisting it a bit, then kicking the wrist. Lacey tries for a lock up from behind, but Nikki punches her away a few times. Lacey pulls on the arm, locks the head, and Nikki turns into it. Elbow from Nikki. Lacey drops a knee onto the arm, then rubs her arm against the face of Nikki. Lacey pulls on the arm, pushing the shoulder and side with her boots. Lacey with some kicks to Nikki, right to the face. Cover for 1.2….NO!!!! Nikki pushes herself off, rolls towards the hold, pushes into a pin for 1..2…NO!!!! Clothesline from Lacey. Nikki shoves Lacey, Lacey grabs her head and slams it down hard. Knee to the elbow, again, and now she’s punching it! Nikki with a right, sends lacey away. Lacey sends Nikki down hard, working the arm again. Standing Moonsault for 1..2..NO!!! Lacey to the apron. She grabs some hand sanitizer and brings it into the ring. She pumps it in the eyes of Nikki. Lacey rubs the hand sanitizer in her eyes. Ref doesn’t call anything.

Nikki shoves Lacey, sends her down hard by the hair. Ref ain’t callin it. Nikki is, seemingly, ok now. She rushes the corner with a splash. Rights to Lacey. Ref counts to 4, and Nikki breaks it. Monkey flip to Lacey. Drop toe hold attempt from Lacey, but Nikki blocks it. She hops onto the top rope.

Nikki with a Tornado DDT. She holds on. Neckbreaker from Nikki! Pin for 1..2….3!!!

Winner: Nikki Cross
Again, with something someone would assume obvious and based on something we’ve known for years, is turned on its head for a small story within the ring that leaves you questioning everything more than accepting anything. The match was on its way to some good rating. Lacey was vicious, and Nikki was scrappy. Then they brought in “Hand sanitizer” into the ring, and if ANY of us has gotten een the scent in our eyes of that, then you know what happens. Yet there’s Lacey squirting it Nikki’s eyes and Nikki selling for all of two seconds. The fact that the ref didn’t even attempt to call it, and even worse – Cole calling them out on it, only served to make it come off way worse.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 6:49

Lacey crawls over to the table. She yells at Alexa, asking what is she looking at, what is she gonna do? Get The Fiend? Alexa goes comatose. She leaves the announce table and grabs Lacey. Sister Abigail to Lacey. So Alexa is like a reverse Festus?

We get a video package of families in the WWE. Hahahah, damn, they show Mr. Perfect and his dad, but not Curtis Axel. Yeesh.

Heyman brings up The Anoa’I Family, including Yokozuna, The Rock, Umaga (RIP), and Rikishi. Clips of Roman as a child in the arms of some legends, narrated that this is his birthright. Heyman says Jey has done a respectable job, and gets some love. They were cousins who may as well be brothers. From the living room to the football field to the squared circle. This Battle of the Bloodline will be fought with honor and pride, but make no mistake – they may all feast at the same table, but there is only one ruler in this dynasty, and he is The Tribal Chief, Roman Reigns.

We head to my beautiful and beloved, but before she speaks, we get a video package of two weeks ago when Bayley beat dat ass.

Sasha is asked what the extent of her injuries are.

Sasha: “I’m still here, ain’t I?”

Oooooooohhhhhhh

Cole brings up Bayley’s reasoning; how she believed Sasha was being used.

Sasha is nothing, now? Useless to Bayley. She heard every single word Bayley said last week and she cant help but to be filled with emotions as she sits there at The Performance Center, a place they built together, where they trained together, talked about their goals. They used to walk these halls just to talk about everything they’ve achieved now. This whole summer, here, they showed the world and we told the world that they were taking over. Now, when she walks these halls and sees these girls that come here now? They did that together. In all these rooms. All these pics and posters of them, all they’ve accomplished. They did all of this together, and if these walls could talk…

She came here this week to answer Bayley’s questions. Does she think Bayley is some kind of idiot, is naïve? She calls her out, says Bayley is an idiot; is naive. Bayley is NOTHING without Sasha. Nothing. Without. Her.

Since she’s useless to Bayley now, one day she will take the one thing that Bayley loves – the Smackdown Women’s Championship.

IN COMES BAYLEY!!!! She attacks Sasha from behind with a chair!!! She locks Sasha up in the chair, out come a flurry of midgets to stop Bayley!

Sami wants to be announced as IC Champion, but AJ is here to attack from behind.

Match 3: AJ Styles vs Sami Zayn
AJ rolls Sami in and covers for 1..2..N!O!! Sami rolls to the outside. AJ attacks the back of the head on the outside. He sends Sami into the ring. Back breaker to Sami. Cover for 1..2..>NO!!! Sami back to the outside. AJ follows, sends Sami back in, and Sami kicks AJ down. He hits a few kicks to the side of the head then drops AJ hard and covers for 1..2…NO!!! Cravat from behind. AJ backs Sami into the corner, hits an elbow. Aj rushes the corner, flies over, lands on the apron, Sami sends Aj into the corner, then heads to the apron himself. He runs for a Helluva Kick, but AJ moes and he hits the ringpost! Aj sends Sami down hard! He flies over the top rope with a forearm!

We are back, and Sami has AJ on the top rope. He locks the head, but AJ escapes, drops to the mat, kicks out of the corner, onto the apron. He tries for the forearm, Sami rolls under neath, turns, lifts AJ with a flapjack onto the ropes. He locks the head and goes for a suplex, but AJ blocks, hits one of his own, but Sami lands on his feet. Neckbreaker! Pin for 1..2..NO!!! Sami with rights. AJ hits one. Sami returns the facor, but AJ with the combo strikes. Kick from Sami! Pele Kick from AJ! AJ for a suplex, Sami with the go behind, lock up for a German, AJ hits some elbows. Sami holds the pants to prevent a run. BLUE THUNDER BOMB!!!! 1…..2….NO!!!!

EXPLODER INTO THE CORNER! Sami waits. AJ is slow to stand. He runs, AJ is up, Sami with a rollup for 1..2…HE’S GOT THE TIGHTS! Ref stops the count. AJ rolls Sami up! Counts the tights! 1….2….3!!!!

Winner: AJ Styles
What a banger of a match these guys put out there. Lovely.
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 10:25

Sami attacks AJ then goes to yell at the ref! He screams at the announcer to announce that Sami is still the champion and that this match was non-title.

Jeff Hardy’s music hits and he runs down, clotheslines AJ, then attacks Sami!!! Jeff grabs for a table, then drops it and grabs a ladder instead!

He sends it into AJ’s mid section! One for Sami! Another to AJ. He sends Sami into the ring. Twist of Fate to Sami!

Jeff climbs a ladder and stares down Sami as he rolls out of the ring.

Jeff grabs a mic, says he is sick and tired of being called a fraud and a cheat, and wants to end this once and for all. At Clash of Champions, he’ll fight both Sami and Aj, but they must escape normal…Triple Threat Ladder Match.

Otis is backstage with Tucker, claimin he is sick and tired of Miz. A dude comes in to serve him.

Tucker explains to Otis he’s being sued.

We return to Tucker explaining the lawsuit. They want Miz to forfeit the MitB contract, or Miz is taking him to court. He has one week to decide.

Otis says they’re in trouble, and Tucker makes sure he understands that nly Otis is in trouble.

Backstage, Corbin is showing off his stick to Sheamus. In comes a security guard, and apparently Sheamus has been looking for him. Dude is here to tell Sheamus that his car is being towed.

He runs to see Big E by his car. Big E attacks, telling Sheamus to run. He heads to the security guard, says word on the street is he’s the one who set Big E up. Dude tries to defend himself but Big E sends him head first into a road box! He’s beatin this boy bad. Big E with the line of the night:

“I don’t know your name, Imma call you Larry. *kicks* You like that Larry?”

Refs run over to yell at “E” to stop this. Big E slaps the shit out the dude on the top of a car, then hits a Belly to Belly onto the car. Big E says he ain’t done yet. He drags the dude off the car, tells him not to sleep on the job. He sends the dude in the trunk, says this ain’t enough for him. Big E says they aint stopping. In comes Pearce to tell him to leave. He tells Sheamus to keep running. Big E.

We come back to the blonde getting dressed. She gets zipped up, looks into a mirror, turns and you can see some forehead and brow.
Reigns comes out first to say this is his yard, his island, his ring, his WWE. If you want it, come and take it from him.

Match 4: Samoan Street Fight
Roman Reigns and Jey Uso vs Sheamus and Baron Corbin
Reigns sends Corbin over the top rope to start. Jey flies off the apron onto Corbin. Sheamus pulls Reigns out of the ring. Right hand to the head. Another but Reigns blocks. Kick to Reigns, he gets sent oer the barricade. Kick to the chin by Jey. Deep Six from Corbin! He sends Reigns into the ring. He also sends in a chair. Reigns grabs it and beats down Corbin! Reigns heads to under the ring. He grabs a table but here is Sheamus with a running knee to Reigns! Sheamus mounts and hits some punches. Corbin joins in on the fun, and they double team Roman a bit near the table. They toss him over the table on the outside! Sheamus and Corbin head into the ring. They set up a table. Jey licks out of the corner. Enziguri to Sheamus. Kick to Corbin. Jey to the top rope, but they trip him up then powerbomb Jey into the table!!! Cover for 1..2….NO!!! Corbin heads to the outside. Reigns grabs a chair and just launches it to Corbin! Sheamus attacks. He clears the table. Grabs Reigns. Sends him face first into the table then steps up on top. He locks up Reigns for some White Noise. Reigns elbows out. Low blow to Sheamus! SAMOAN DROP ONTO THE TABLE! IT doesn’t break! Corbin here to punch Reigns in the face. Reigns makes short work of him, sees Sheamus near the barricade. SPEAR!!!! Corbin sends Reigns into the steps. Jey flies out of the ring!

Corbin catches him! He sends him flying then rolls Reigns into the ring. Corbin grabs his sceptor but Jey smacks h im in the head with the Universal Title! SPEAR FROM REIGNS!!!! USO SPLASH! Pin for 1..2….3!!!!

Winners: Roman Reigns and Jey Uso
In terms of street fights, it’s hardly fitting of the definition, but that’s ok. This was story more than anything else. Jey is literally just freakin happy to be there, and why wouldn’t he be? Reigns looking at him like a kid in over his head is great, and Heyman being the dude just loving it all made this more enjoyable than what happened in the ring.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 6:20

Jey is incredibly happy for the win. He claps towards his cousin. Reigns sees his title. Jey grabs it, pretends to hold it up, then tosses the title over to Reigns. Jey continues to celebrate in the ring then claps hands with Roman. Roman is all smiles, too. Cute.

Jey leaves the ring, heads up the ramp, and Reigns’ face changes.

End Show