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Well people, it’s another Friday and time for another episode of Smackdown. Tonight we might finally get an end to the Eastie Boys and New Day feud that’s dragged on and on and on and on when Xavier Woods and Kofi Kingston team with a mystery partner to battle Sheamus, Butch, and Ridge Holland. The Bloodline will be in a celebratory mood after winning most of the titles the WWE has to offer, but Riddle has been trying to stake his claim to a shot at Roman Reigns and will probably make his presence felt. Rumor has it there will be a rematch between Ronda Rousey and Raquel Rodriguez, there’s a decent chance Sami Zayn and Shinsuke Nakamura go at it in some capacity, and last week Ricochet seemed to be developing an issue with Gunther and Ludwig Kaiser. Well that’s all the preamble I’ve got, let’s get to the action.

Up first a recap of the tag team title unification match from last week and the post match beat down that RKBro took.

Now live and out first are the Usos to celebrate their success. The kayfabe update on Randy Orton is that he’s undergoing consultations for back injuries. Jimmy and Jey both get mics, and Jey welcomes us to the show. They thank Roman Reigns for all he does, especially letting them beat RKBro all on their own last week. That got a decent reaction. Jey brings up that they’ve been here for 12 years, and 12 years ago they walked down that ramp and never expected to still be here. For 12 years the fans have cheered them, booed them, seen their ups and downs, and we’ve seen the Usos grow up. All those plane rides, the miles, the time away from family, and that whole time all the fans were here with them. Jey acknowledges how crazy the world is, he loves entertaining the fans and from their family they’d like to say thank you. We get a pretty decent “Uso” chant after that. Jimmy takes over, and over the past 12 years they’ve also realized they didn’t need anyone. All they ever needed was each other, not any of the fans. Now the Bloodline has all the gold, and they pose. They mock Randy Orton not being here, and Riddle crying on RAW. All of this however brings out Shinsuke Nakamura. Nakamura says he and his partner want a match for the titles. They ask who his partner is and mock Boogs being hurt. Nakamura brings out his partner, Riddle. Riddle and Nakamura head to the ring, and we get a brawl. Nakamura gets sent out of the ring and then Riddle, Nakamura gets back in but the numbers aren’t in his favor. Riddle hits a Floating Bro to take down both Usos and both men lay in kicks to send the champs out of the ring. Nakamura and Riddle get to stand tall.

We get a recap of the open challenge match between Ronda Rousey and Raquel Rodriguez from a couple of weeks ago, which leads into Raquel heading to the ring. In the back the women watch, Shotzi asks why they’re all being passed over and tries to fire up everyone about how unfair things are. Raquel’s non-title rematch with Ronda Rousey will be up after this break.

In the back Riddle and Nakamura debate their new team name when Kayla walks up. Riddle says Randy gave his blessing to this team, and while both men would prefer their other partners they feel they have potential for greatness.

Back to the ring, and here comes Ronda Rousey. In the back Natalya and Baszler say they wont let this happen again, and they leave the locker room but Shotzi winds up locked in when she waited to get her helmet. Outside the room we see that Aliyah has locked her in.

Match #1: Ronda Rousey vs. Raquel Rodriguez

Raquel hits a quick mat return, then Ronda fights back with kicks and tries a triangle choke over the ropes but Raquel just hoists her up. Ronda tries the same finish as last time but Raquel avoids the pin then pulls Ronda up into an Argentine backbreaker but here come Baszler and Natalya to end things.

OFFICIAL RESULT: No Contest

Rating: DUD

Angle, not a match.

Post match we get a brief brawl with Ronda and Raquel standing tall, sadly no Teddy Long appearance but I’d bet after this break we’ll get a tag team match (playa).

Match #2 – Tag Team Match: Ronda Rousey and Raquel Rodriguez vs. Natalya and Shayna Baszler

Indeed, we have our tag team match. Baszler is working the leg of Raquel as we come back. Leg kicks from Baszler but Raquel kicks her out of the ring and looks to tag out. Natalya tags in, but is slow and Raquel has to look like a goof not tagging out, but Raquel kicks Natalya out of a Sharpshooter and then tags out. Ronda runs wild on Natalya for a bit, Natalya then trips her down and locks in the Sharpshooter, Ronda then crawls to her corner and tags in Raquel. Raquel attacks Natalya, Natalya tags out and now Raquel gets to run wild on Baszler. Raquel’s leg gives out when going for the Chingona Bomb. Headbutt from Raquel then a twisting Vader Bomb but Natalya breaks up the pin. Ronda tosses Natalya out of the ring, then Baszler gets shoved into her and they square up but Natalya pulls Ronda out of the ring. Apparently the new name for Raquel’s finisher is the Tejana Bomb, which she hits on Baszler then pins to win.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Ronda Rousey and Raquel Rodriguez won

Rating: 1.5 stars

This didn’t work, everything was rushed, everything was terribly predictable, and this didn’t serve much purpose.

Apparently they’ve changed the venue for Money in the Bank to the MGM Grand Garden Arena.

In the back Xavier Woods and Kofi Kingston mess around as we head to break.

We come back to Woods and Kofi talking with Megan. They wont disclose who their partner is, but it could be anyone given how much everyone hates their opponents. The usual amount of pop culture references follow, but the long and short of it is they wont give up the element of surprise and with their partner they’ll win.

To kill time we get a recap of the attack on Madcap Moss a few weeks ago, and the news that Moss will be back on TV next week.

Los Lotharios head to the ring, and they do manage to find the plant, they’ll take on Jinder Mahal and Shanky after this break. This is an oddly paced episode thus far.

Post break and Jinder and Shanky get an entrance. Well, allegedly but they don’t come out. In the back Jinder is looking for Shanky and can’t find him, eventually he locates him dancing to music in the back and informs Shanky that they’re late for their match. Back to ringside and Los Lotharios try to impress ring announcer Samantha Irvin as Jinder and Shanky finally come to the ring.

Match #3 – Tag Team Match: Los Lotharios (Angel and Humberto) vs. Jinder Mahal and Shanky

Shanky and Humberto start things off. They tie up and Shanky easily overpowers Humberto. Humberto hits the ropes and runs into a big boot. Jinder tags in and goes to strikes before being caught with a hurricanrana. Drop kick from Humberto then he tags in Angel and they double team Jinder for a bit. More strikes from Angel then he grabs a side headlock, blind tag from Humberto but he runs into a back body drop. Angel sends Jinder out of the ring then hits a baseball slide. Now Angel removes the pants and dances for Samantha, but Shanky is behind him and bonks him on the head then hits a super kick. In the ring Humberto hits a kick to Jinder and pins to win.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Los Lotharios won

Rating: DUD

I don’t understand any of that. They used a ton of airtime on this whole thing and I’m not sure anything was accomplished.

Post match Jinder yells at Shanky, Shanky channels a two decade old reference and tells Jinder to talk to his hand. Then Shanky dances for Samantha, who awkwardly laughs.

In the back Max Dupri walks up on Adam Pearce. Pearce confirms the legality of Dupri’s presence, Dupri again tries to get people to say his name right (who thinks this is a good idea?). Dupri is ready to look for his first client, and he tells Pearce that Pearce doesn’t make the cut.

Back to the ring, here’s Kevin Owens for the KO Show. So, the brand split officially dies before Survivor Series right? After this break a member of the Bloodline will be on the KO show with Owens. It’s gonna be Sami Zayn isn’t it?

Post break Kevin Owens is in the ring, no tie though. Owens has a mic and welcomes us to a very special edition of the Kevin Owens show. He’s here for only one reason, he’s been seeking the truth and dealing with a disgusting liar by the name of Elias, not Ezekiel. At Hell in a Cell he’s going to make Elias regret showing his stupid beardless face back in WWE. He then brings out Sami Zayn. Sami wants a hug, and Owens obliges. They engage in some mutual admiration and Owens is very happy that Sami finally has his back. Owens needs Sami to drop everything he’s doing on Smackdown and come with him to RAW to call out the locker room. Sami says now isn’t a good time for him, there’s too much going on uce. That made my ears bleed. Owens calls out Sami for calling him “uce” and Owens forgot about the naive delusional side of Sami. Owens tells Sami that he’s not associated with the Bloodline and the way he’s acting makes him look and sound like a moron. Sami recants his support of Owens, mostly around Ezekiel and Elias being different people. They argue about who’s the bigger moron. Owens asks why the Bloodline left Sami high and dry on RAW, or surely if Owens calls out the Bloodline right now they wont leave Sami here looking like an idiot right? A few attempts to bring out the Bloodline lead to nothing, and Owens tells Sami that the Bloodline couldn’t care less about him. Sami still thinks he can fix the relationship and leaves. Owens goes to follow him and again asks him to come to RAW, Sami shoves him away and stalks off. The stage hands are removing the KO Show signs, Owens objects to this and Stuns both poor production assistants. That was not a good segment.

We get a recap of the New Day and Eastie Boys feud, which can’t even be salvaged via the editing process into something interesting.

Ricochet heads to the ring, he and Drew Gulak will be in tag team action after this break.

A reminder that Sweet Saudi Blood Money will be back in November. And we get another recap of a couple of weeks ago when Gunther chopped the lungs out of Gulak, and Gunther abusing Gulak last week in a match. Kaiser then shows up to hype of Gunther.

Match #4 – Tag Team Match: Drew Gulak and Ricochet vs. Ludwig Kaiser and Gunther

Kaiser and Gulak start things off, Kaiser hits an arm drag and goes to ground Gulak. Gulak grabs a side headlock but Kaiser counters into a cravate and Gunther lands a cheap kick when the ref is distracted. Gunther tags in, and he just manhandles Gulak and tosses him out of the ring to send us to break.

Post break Gunther is stretching Gulak then chops the crap out of him. Kaiser tags in and grabs a reverse bearhug. Gulak fights back with elbows then is able to tag out. Ricochet lays in a series of strikes to Kaiser and a springboard cross body. Gunther distractes Ricochet, Kaiser rolls him up but can’t get the 3 count. Knee strike from Ricochet, but he’s too busy talking with Gunther. Gulak makes a blind tag, Kaiser smacks him and hits a butterfly suplex. Kaiser hits a punt kick and pins Gulak.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Gunther and Ludwig Kaiser won

Rating: 2.5 stars

Perfectly acceptable match, teased the upcoming bouts between Ricochet and Gunther plus introduced the wider audience to what Kaiser can do in the ring.

Ricochet checks on Gulak post match, and Gunther then kicks him in the face. Gunther tells Kaiser to kick Gulak again, Kaiser happily does so.

In the back Sami Zayn talks with the Usos about their parasocial relationship. Sami wants the truth about what they think of him. He wants to join the Bloodline, Jey laughs. Sami didn’t mean it like that, he’s not family and gets that, but he’d like to be an honorary member. Jimmy condescends to him but agrees, Sami uses his pass to say the “U” word entirely too much.

Back to the ring, here comes I guess they’re the Brawling Brutes now? It’s Butch, Sheamus, and Ridge Holland. After this break they’ll take part in our main event.

Post break commentary reminds us that Memorial Day is Monday and we get a nice little video package about the fallen soldiers though history.

Sheamus has a mic in the ring. He wants to make one thing perfectly, it’s fight night every night. But the New Day don’t want a fair fight, they’re hiding behind a mystery partner but none of them care. It could be anyone they bring, they’re gonna get a severe beating from the brawling brutes. They can bring anyone and they’ll wind up on bedrest right next to Big E. Why is this episode so hard up for content? Sheamus calls his partners two of the toughest men in the business, and reminds us that New Day sucks.

That brings out New Day, who of course have mics as well. Woods asks if the brawling brutes are off brand Wrestle Buddies. Tonight wont be 2 on 3, but it’s definitely going to be an unfair fight. Kofi says they’ve found a true freak of nature, a man who will steal Ridge’s girlfriend and Butch’s auntie at the same time. This man will not have any problem kicking Sheamus in the ugly mug. A little more vamping then they finally bring out Drew McIntyre. After this break we’ll get that match.

Post break we get news that Riddle and Nakamura get a non-title match against the Usos on RAW. Oh, and don’t forget the excitement next week when Madcap Moss returns.

Match #5 – Trios Match: New Day (Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods) and Drew McIntyre vs. Sheamus, Ridge Holland, and Butch

Woods and Butch start things off. Butch hits a shoulder block then hits the ropes but runs into a kick to the knee. Kofi tags in and Butch takes some tandem offense. Woods tags back in and they hit a double bulldog on Butch. Butch fishhooks Woods and lays in strikes then tags Sheamus. Sheamus abuses Woods for a bit then tags Butch back in to lay in strikes before Ridge tags in. Ridge suplexes Woods back into the ring. Woods hits the ropes and makes a blind tag to Kofi who flies in with a chop to the head. Drop kick from Kofi who then stomps on Ridge, tags Woods who resumes stomping, then Drew gets tagged in. Drew stomps on Ridge some more then clocks Butch with a punch. Kofi tags in and hits an assisted dropkick. Kofi kicks Ridge but Sheamus distracts the ref and Butch hits a kick allowing Ridge to hit his ugly low tackle and send us to break.

Butch is working over Kofi as we come back, then he tags in Ridge. Ridge hits a clothesline then tags Sheamus. Powerslam from Ridge and Sheamus follows up with a top rope knee drop for a 2 count. Ridge back in, then Butch. Kofi shoves Ridge into Butch then avoids an Irish Curse from Sheamus and hits a DDT. Kofi crawls to his corner as Butch and Ridge take out Woods and Drew to prevent the tag. Sheamus hits an Alabama Slam for another 2 count. Kofi fights back with strikes and hits an SOS to down Sheamus. Drew is pissed and climbs onto the apron demanding the tag. Ridge tags in, as does Drew. Drew runs wild on Ridge for a bit, including showing him how to properly do a belly to belly suplex. Butch eats a belly to belly as well, then Ridge takes a neckbreaker. Drew sets for the Claymore, Butch jumps onto his back and Drew tosses him to the floor. Woods then hits a baseball slide to Butch but Sheamush its him with a knee strike, only for Kofi to dive onto Sheamus. Ridge tries a slam on Drew, Drew just headbutts him then kills him with a Claymore. Drew could end it, but instead tags in Woods so Woods can hit the rope walk elbow drop and end the match.

OFFICIAL RESULT: New Day and Drew McIntyre won

Rating: 2.5 stars

This probably could have hit three star territory but the commercial break kind of ruined any possible momentum here.

Post match Kofi and Woods try to get Drew to dance with them, it takes some convincing but he agrees. Was the theme of this episode bad dancing or something? Anyway the good guys pose to end the episode.