Memphis Wrestling (7.14.1979) Review

-Originally aired July 7, 1979.

-Your hosts are Lance Russell and Dave Brown. Lance is holding a red microphone, and Dave is holding a yellow microphone, which is kind of a curious detail considering something that’s going to happen later in this episode.

BLONDE BOMBERS (Tag Team Champions, with Danny Davis) vs. RICK MORTON & DALLAS MONTGOMERY
-God, Dallas Montgomery is such a great name. You just want to blurt out “Channel 7 News” every time you say it. Everyone just casually ignores the fact that Morton’s dad is the referee for this match.

-Morton armdrags Wayne Ferris around and they exchange menacing glances, as these two men clearly have very different opinions about what rock & roll is. Dallas Montgomery, Channel 7 News, tags in and works the arm. Latham comes in and Dallas Montgomery, Channel 7 News, is ready for him with a hammerlock, followed by a top wristlock. Morton comes back in and gets a near-fall, with Ferris trying to make the save and apparently legit tripping and falling over the rope, and Ferris rolls with it and yells at the fans for laughing at him.

-Latham gets a blind tag and Ferris attacks from behind to finally put the Bombers in control. Big boot by Latham, and a double elbow by the Bombers gets two. Decapitator looks to finish it, but Dallas Montgomery, Action Sports, makes the save. Morton fights back with punches and hot tags Dallas Montgomery, reporting live from the scene of the accident. Corner charge misses and the Bombers take over again. Slams and a series of rapid-fire elbow drops by Ferris are enough for the three-count. Perfect formula executed here, as the jobbers looked like a million bucks, but at the same time, the Bombers were definitely the better team, so everybody looked good here.

We go to action at the Mid-South Coliseum, where the match was scheduled to be Jerry Lawler, Bill Dundee, and Jackie Fargo vs. Blonde Bombers and Danny Davis, but Davis bowed out of the match and put his man Pete Austin in there instead. Fargo pins Austin clean as a sheet in 8:22, so Davis sneaks in and takes cheap shots with his army helmet and wipes out the babyfaces. The Bombers hold Fargo in place while Davis opens a canteen and pours sinister mystery liquid on him, and Fargo is writhing in pain and blinded. Must be Canada Dry.

-We go to Jackie Fargo, cutting a promo with his eyes bandaged. The doctor has assured him that the condition is temporary, and he vows that he’ll have his revenge soon.

-Lance Russell tells us that a new tag team from California has been making a lot of waves lately, and they’re arriving in Memphis later today for their first appearance: THE FABULOUS FREEBIRDS. So we meet Terry Gordy & Mike Hayes. Their look is a little different in 1979, with Ric Flair knock-off robes and Gordy sporting a brutal blonde dye job. Hayes has a towel covering his head because he’s just so beautiful that you need to give him the proper unveiling so all the women can be ready for it.

RON BASS & PETE AUSTIN vs. KOKO WARE & PAT HUTCHINSON
-Bass no-sells a dropkick from Hutchinson and stunguns him. Austin comes in and gets his stuff in, but the champ tags right back for a big suplex, and Bass finishes with a Stampede.

-Lance Russell welcomes Bill Dundee and Jerry “The King” Brady with his regrettable perm. Lawler takes the blame for what happened to Fargo, because Fargo is financially set for life, and he only wrestled as a personal favor to Jerry. I’m underselling it, but Lawler is phenomenal here, as the studio fans just go SILENT from the moment he starts talking as he unravels this deeply emotional story about his friendship with former enemy Fargo, and he plays it perfectly and paints this picture of Fargo, who likes to relax and watch baseball on TV and go jogging now that he’s retired, and now he can’t do ANY of that because of these YOUNG PUNKS who blinded him. Gold.

-Lance Russell welcomes Eddie Boulder, who was rendered a bloody, disgusting mess in his debut match on Memphis TV, in a disgusting display of poor sportsmanship by Ron Bass and Pete Austin. We re-watch the entire gorefest from last week, with Eddie just gushing all over the place and leaving stains on the mat in a total massacre.

-Back to the studio, Lance says that because he never got a chance to speak to Eddie Boulder before his debut match, he didn’t really get to know the man, and Lance admits that he never really put 2+2 together about Eddie’s last name. It turns out that Eddie is the brother of former Memphis wrestling star Terry “The Hulk” Boulder! Ta-daa! By the way, I was born three years after this, and started watching wrestling in 1989, and I remember the first “insider” info I ever got was that Hulk Hogan and Brutus Beefcake were actually brothers, but the WWF never acknowledged it. If an older kid tells you that at recess, it must be true. But here we are in 1979, and Eddie and Terry Boulder are brothers, so this chunk of kayfabe lasted for a decade.

-We get a video of Terry “The Hulk” Boulder, striking poses as the voiceover from the Kimala video assures us that he’s not an illusion, a television editing trick, or a figment of our imagination. He’s 6’7″! He’s 324 pounds! 24 3/4-inch neck! 59-inch chest! 26-inch biceps! 12-inch fists! 34-inch waist! 1900-pound leg press!

-Eddie cuts a really timid, awkward promo where he emphasizes several times that he’s new to the business (no shit) but Terry is so pissed about what happened to his kid brother that he’s coming to Memphis on Monday night to do something about it.

EXPIRATION OF TIME, UNLIMITED FALLS: SUPERSTAR BILL DUNDEE & JERRY “The King” LAWLER vs. FABULOUS FREEBIRDS
-Get comfy, because we have a half-hour left in the show. Lawler is even wearing tights that have two straps on them, so he’s ready for this to go a while. Hayes still has the towel covering his head and Gordy warns women over 60 to look away from the TV screen. Gordy drags this out for an absolutely excruciating, hilariously long time, yelling directions to the cameramen and the directors to ensure that the shot is perfect before finally, finally, finally pulling the towel off and revealing that 20-year-old Michael Hayes really is a damn good-looking man. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

FALL ONE: Dundee and Hayes start, and the babyfaces do a great job of putting over the Freebirds before anything has even happen, as they both look totally bemused, thinking “Who the hell ARE these guys?” while Hayes struts. Not much happens until Lawler tags in and holds his own against both Freebirds. Gordy is dazed by Lawler’s punches while Hayes complains that this isn’t wrestling. Gordy tags in and Hayes just gives Lawler a boot to the head and works the arm. Freebirds double-team the King, and Hayes takes him down in a side headlock. Amazing how riled up the crowd is and how this instantly feels like a MAIN EVENT.

-Lawler comes to life with armdrags and tags in Dundee as soon as he gets a chance. Blind tag by the Freebirds. Hayes backdrops Dundee directly into Gordy, who catches him and makes it a shoulderbreaker for three, and the fans are SHOCKED that the new guys just got a clean pin on Dundee so quickly.

FALL TWO: Freebirds pick up where they left off and dismantle Dundee. Backdrop and an elbow by Gordy. Hayes tags in and applies a chinlock. Dundee flings him off but Hayes cuts off the hot tag and applies a front facelock. Gordy tags in and drops a knee. Chinlock by Gordy. Dundee keeps escaping, but the Freebirds are quick enough to cut off every single attempted tag, to the point that the crowd is just getting frustrated watching this.

-Dundee just keeps taking this ass-kicking with no end in sight, while up-and-comer Rick Morton diligently takes notes in the locker room. Gordy looks to finish him off, but Dundee connects with one good kick and knocks the big guy senseless, and Lawler FINALLY tags in, cleaning house and suplexing Gordy for two. Lawler wears down Gordy with an armbar, and he’s so damn mad that he yanks Gordy’s hair to keep him in the hold.

-Dundee is rested, so he tags back in, slamming Gordy and dropping a knee for two. Hayes tags back in, but Lawler just drills his face with rapid-fire punches, and Dundee tags back in with a sunset flip for three to tie the match.

FALL THREE: Freebirds stick with what works and start off by just kicking the hell out of Dundee and stopping all of his attempted tags. Dundee messes with Gordy by crawling all over the ring until he finally squirms away and tags Lawler. Freebirds duck out to the floor to stall, with the commentators explaining that they’re doing it with 30 seconds remaining, so they’re literally running out the clock. They let the referee’s count run up a little bit before heading back into the ring, at which point the bell sounds. Anticlimactic, yes, but in context, that makes sense and the Freebirds are kind of a clever team for doing that. Post-match brawl following one hell of a great TV match, and the Freebirds are instant stars. We go to commercial and return with the brawl STILL going until Dundee has finally had enough and clocks the Freebirds with a chair.

8.9

The final score: review Very Good

The 411

Fantastic week, with a slew of great stories all throughout and a rock-solid main event.