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Mid-South Wrestling (1.6.1985) Review

October 3, 2021 | Posted by Adam Nedeff
Mid-South Wrestling 10-25-1984 Jim Duggan
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Mid-South Wrestling (1.6.1985) Review  

-Originally aired January 6, 1985.

-Your hosts are Boyd Pierce & Bill Watts, who’s back from vacation in Hawaii and says he enjoyed surfing. DOES NOT COMPUTE.

-Breaking news! On Christmas night, the Rock & Roll Express defeated Ted DiBiase & Hercules Hernandez to capture the Tag Team Titles, which is as much of an excuse as this promotion needs to treat us to a Rock & Roll Express music video, with Ricky & Robert eye-humping the cameras, not so much with the eye of the tiger as of the bloodhound.

-UPDATE: A rule is being amended. So far, Mid-South has barred chains, tennis racquets, and 2x4s, and the incoming mail from fans indicate that everyone is so sick of Dr. Death’s shit that we’re adding football helmets to that list. Looking forward to seeing some heel lawyer that rule to death by wearing a batting helmet to the ring.

ICEMAN KING PARSONS vs. RICK OLIVER

-You know him better as Rip Oliver, and the cameraman feels like experimenting this week, so he gets a 60s Batman-style Dutch angle for his intro. Or the cameraman is hungover. Based on when this episode would have been taped, I can believe either.

-Parsons slams Oliver and follows with a “Japanese armdrag,” which is like a regular armdrag except that it adds an extra 2 1/2 stars to the match rating. Chops and headbutts by Parsons, and a clothesline off the second rope gives Parsons the win. This crowd was tepid-bordering-on-apathetic for Parsons.

-Bill Watts lays out a storyline for us. The Alamo Busters were promised a title match against the Rock & Roll Express the last time that they had the Tag Team Titles. However, the match never happened because the Express immediately lost the titles, and an Alamo Busters/DiBiase & Hercules title match never happened because “we were unable to make that match happen,” which is the explanation Bill Watts gives when he can’t just throw a smoke bomb and run away from the commentary table. However, the Express has the belts back, so the Alamo Busters get their match now.

-They oddly follow this with a promo from Chavo & Hector, saying they haven’t received a title shot and threatening a breach-of-contract lawsuit. And then they cut back to Bill, who declares that they’re getting a title shot on television in two weeks.

ALAMO BUSTERS vs. TIM HORNER & SHAWN MICHAELS
-Ring announcer Jim Ross announces Shawn Michaels at “Two hundred twe…no, 219 pounds,” so Shawn must have taken quite a dump during King Parsons’ match. Alamo Busters are once again waving some sort of bizarre-looking non-American flag for their entrance, which I find threatening.

-Guerreros are already over as heels but Watts goes on this bizarre and unnecessary tapestry of babble to try to give them more heat, explaining how Aztec Indians were conquered by snooty Spanish elites like the Guerreros’ ancestors. Also, the Guerreros boast that Mexico is better at keeping rabble and peons under control than Americans, even though Mexico just had a riot, which the Guerreros are blaming on the CIA, based on America’s long history of stealing northern Mexican territory, which as we all know, is now modern-day America. God, I hope this episode doesn’t end with a quiz on this stuff. Seriously, Bill is generally a pretty excellent commentator, but if you repeated everything he just said at a bus stop, the person next to you would nod slowly and move over to the other bench.

-Shawn Michaels is a house of fire, taking on both Guerreros until Chavo takes him down with some sort of Mexican karate. “A kick,” I believe. Hector with a suplex, and Chavo finishes Shawn with a somersault.

TV TITLE: “Nature Boy” BUDDY LANDELL (Champion, with Skandar Akbar) vs. TERRY TAYLOR
-Knees and forearms by Buddy as Bill Watts declares this “the most requested match in the Dream Match mail.” So that record was broken AGAIN for the third time in, like, a month. Guys, I’m starting to think the Dream Match promotion was fake.

-King Parsons heads to ringside to keep an eye on Akbar. The crowd chants “Buddy! Buddy! Buddy!” which Bill Watts says is the fans’ way of taunting Buddy, by chanting his name when they’re really rooting for Terry Taylor. I think Bill spent part of his vacation in Hawaii staring directly at the sun.

-Buddy locks on a chinlock, but Terry elbows out and sunset flips him for two. Buddy keeps up the fight and goes back to the chinlock as Akbar and Iceman taunt each other, with Watts explaining a WCCW angle to give us some background on why they hate each other. Terry Taylor runs the ropes and the referee dives face-down on the mat to avoid getting bumped, and while the ref gets back up, Akbar trips Terry Taylor from the floor, but Buddy can only get two.

-Iceman chases Akbar off. Buddy runs the ropes and the referee dives face-first to avoid getting bumped again, and this time, Iceman trips Buddy from the floor, and Terry Taylor gets a three-count and regains the TV Title.

HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN & PVT. TERRY DANIELS vs. “Dr. Death” STEVE WILLIAMS & TED DIBIASE
-Daniels dodges Dr. Death and armdrags him as Bill Watts reiterates the famous slogan of the Marines, “The Marines Want a Few Quality Men.” When they built the new commentary table in 1984, did they use lead paint?

-Duggan catches the heels engaging in shenanigans and storms into the ring, and angry Duggan is so scary that Williams and DiBiase both retreat to the floor. Back in, DiBiase clears the ring with clotheslines as Watts explains that Akbar is terrified of Duggan, and that’s why he’s not at ringside.

-Williams tags in for a hoss battle while Watts reiterates that “Mr. Helmet” is banned from Mid-South. He keeps referring to it as “Mr. Helmet” all through the show. Daniels tags in and Duggan resorts to heel-like tactics, giving DiBiase a knee to the back. Watts declares “DiBiase’s kidneys are screaming!,” so lesson learned by DiBiase. Never drink a Mountain Dew Big Gulp before a match.

-DiBiase tags Williams and Williams puts the boots to Daniels, but Duggan can’t stand the sight of his partner cleaning and fairly losing the match, so he comes in to fight both opponents. Referee clears him out of the ring while DiBiase puts on the evil glove and knocks Daniels out with it, and it’s a three-count for Williams. Daniels just continues to be booked like a joke, which makes me wonder what the point was of bringing him here.

NON-TITLE: BRAD ARMSTRONG (with the cowcatcher from an old-timey locomotive, no wait, it’s the North American Title belt) vs. SHEIK HERCULES HERNANDEZ (with Skandar Akbar)

-Dropkicks by the champ, followed by an armdrag. Nice sequence of reversals ends with Armstrong being rammed into the top turnbuckle. Suplex by Herc gets two. Backbreaker follows, and Watts declares that the pain “froze Brad’s kidneys.” Okay, don’t get a Slurpee either.

-Armstrong comes back, but crashes on an attempted dropkick. Stungun by Herc, and the hard-to-spell finisher looks to finish, but Armstrong does a great counter, kicking out of the hold while simultaneously dropkicking Akbar, who’s standing on the apron. But the force from the kick causes Hercules to repel into the referee and take him out for a few moments. Akbar runs in and interferes. Herc slams Armstrong into position and heads to the top rope for an illegal splash, but King Parsons runs to the ring and pushes Herc off. Akbar runs in to try to intervene, but by now the referee has revived, and as soon as he sees Akbar in there, he calls for the bell.

KAMALA (with Friday) vs. DAVID DIAMOND

-If JR hadn’t done the ring introduction for the jobber, I would have typed “Pez Whatley” without a second thought.

-Kamala chops Diamond and bearhugs him. Big splash finishes in seconds. Fast squash even by this promotion’s standards.

JAKE “The Snake” ROBERTS vs. ROCKY KING

-Jake is back in the territory after a weird tour of duty as a jobber in 1984. They trade blows, but Jake slams King down and drops the leg. DDT gets the win. Crowd chants “Jake! Jake! Jake!” which is how the fans tell us they wish Rocky King had won.

6.0
The final score: review Average
The 411
1985 is off to an odd start, with the fans rooting for heels (which is REALLY new for this territory) and Parsons being shoved down our throats after getting no reaction at all at the start. Again, Duggan is RIGHT THERE, I don't get why Watts didn't just go all-in with him at this point.
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Mid-South Wrestling, Adam Nedeff