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Mid-South Wrestling (3.17.1984) Review

November 29, 2020 | Posted by Adam Nedeff
Mid-South Wrestling 12-3-83 Nikolai Volkoff
7.6
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Mid-South Wrestling (3.17.1984) Review  

-Ooooooh, I’ve been wondering when we were going to get to this episode, and it’s finally here!

-Originally aired March 17, 1984.

-Your host is Boyd Pierce, who leads off with a bombshell: We have a new North American Champion AND new Tag Team Champions!

-We go to ringside, where Bill Watts is standing by with the crappy poster. This week was supposed to be a semi-final match between JYD and Krusher Kruschev, but for reasons not yet explained, Junkyard Dog is forfeiting the match, so Kruschev automatically advances to the finals and will face the winner of the Terry Taylor/Butch Reed match that happens next week…

-And that brings out the NEW North American Champion, Mr. Wrestling II, who arrives to a chorus of boos. Bill Watts recaps everything that happened at the house show on Monday night, saying that II announced on the spot that if he couldn’t beat JYD cleanly, he’d unmask and leave the territory. But he also held JYD to a stipulation that JYD would have to leave the territory for 90 days if he failed to retain the title.

-So then II wrestles the match and JYD kicked out of not one, not two, but THREE kneelifts, and Bill Watts takes us to the video tape, where all of a sudden, some bullshit is happening where Mr. Wrestling II is wearing a kneepad for the first time in his life, so Watts insinuates that it could only be because the kneepad is loaded. And the suspicious 4th kneelift was enough to put away JYD.

-So we go to the next night, March 13, with Mr. Wrestling II & Magnum TA defending the Tag Team Titles against the Midnight Express, with the added stipulation that the losing team must take ten lashes with a belt, five for each man. II abruptly walks out of the match and referee Carl Fergie turns around to see what happened, and the Midnights use the distraction to knock out Magnum TA with the tennis racket…this shit keeps happening when former heel jobber Carl Fergie officiates, and you would swear this is a Danny Davis story they’re building, but no, it never gets paid off. He’s just a crappy referee.

-So Magnum takes the lashes, and because II has abandoned his partner, TA is on his own to take all ten lashes by himself. TA takes five, And then Terry Taylor, who we’ve heard has tremendous sympathy for any man in an unfair situation, shows up, takes his shirt off, and insists on taking the remaining five lashes. Cornette is laughing through the whole thing, and Watts’ total contempt for Cornette and everything he stands for is palpable. In fact, it’s here that Watts whips out the “stranger in paradise” line that Cornette quotes all the time now.

-Back to live action; II says he’s taken lashes for a stipulation before, and he wasn’t about to let his partner screw up and put him through that again, so he was saving himself, and hey, he has the North American Title, he doesn’t need friends or fans now. Segment closes with pictures taken in the locker room of TA and Taylor’s backs. Taylor’s a hero, TA is a gutsy SOB, the Midnights are cheaters, Jim Cornette is an entitled asshole, and II is a hypocrite who doesn’t deserve his belt. Got all that?

-Back from commercial, Boyd and Bill both look legitimately emotional as Bill makes an announcement, and it’s sad but it sort of drives home one of the nice things about the territory days: Bill somberly announces the death of Alan Morris, Jr. And who was Alan Morris, Jr.? An 18-year-old fan who attended all of the TV tapings, until his untimely death last week in a work-related accident. And Bill knew Alan’s name, about his work, and was just familiar with him from seeing him week after week at these tapings.

ROCK & ROLL EXPRESS vs. JERRY GRAY & PAT ROSE

-Rose whips Robert Gibson back and forth as Watts again dives into why size doesn’t matter with these two guys, likening them to Fran Tarkenton of the NFL; he was just too damn fast and slippery, and Rock & Roll Express makes up for size with extra ability and extra agility that bigger guys lack. Double dropkicks finish quickly.

-Bill Watts, looking exasperated, assures us that Mid-South Wrestling is not responsible for the content of the following segment.

We go to ringside with Jim Ross, who looks like he just absolutely does not want to be here, as the Midnight Express scatters confetti and balloons around ringside with a great big cake and champagne on a table in front of him. Jim Cornette has bought time from Mid-South Wrestling just to make everyone sit through a long celebration of his team’s championship win. He shows off the congratulatory letter he got from his mother (but Jim Ross can’t read it because that’s a federal offense). Cornette emphasizes that this is a PRIVATE party. Jim Ross isn’t allowed any of the $100 champagne, and the crowd isn’t invited. This isn’t for them; they just have to sit there and watch while the Midnight Express has a good time by themselves.

-Cornette encourages the Midnights to walk around ringside just to make fun of the fans who aren’t cool enough to be at their party, and with the Midnights’ backs turned, the Rock & Roll Express shows up and shoves Cornette’s face into the cake and damn near straight down to the center of the earth. Cornette is just covered in cake, and Bill Watts, Boyd, and Jim Ross are all cracking up as Cornette bursts into tears and screams about having his party ruined. Back at the table, Bill Watts asks to go to commercial so he can compose himself.

TERRY TAYLOR vs. NIKOLAI VOLKOFF

-Volkoff attacks Taylor right away as the commentators are still making fun of Cornette for how stupid he looked at the end of that segment. Taylor sunset flips Volkoff and takes over with a wristlock. Boot to the face by Volkoff, and he has Taylor on the ropes now. Volkoff heads to the second rope and goes for an axehandle, but Taylor fights it off with a punch and dropkicks Volkoff out to the floor. Krusher runs to ringside to jaw with the referee, but Terry sees through the scheme here and catches Volkoff in an attempted sneak attack. Kruschev hits the ring to end this with a DQ, and they tie the noose around Taylor to strangle him until the MIA Hacksaw Jim Duggan suddenly returns with a big-ass 2×4 and clears the ring for America. By the way, it happens that Cornette addressed the whole weirdness with Duggan disappearing on his podcast and it’s an ODD story, as Hacksaw lost a loser-leaves-town match some time around the new year in Lake Charles, Louisiana, but for some reason, they never mentioned it on TV! So the fans in Lake Charles knew why Duggan was gone, but for the rest of the fans in the territory, he just vanished into thin air and suddenly showed up as a heel in Florida for two months, then lost a loser-leaves-town match THERE and just came right back to Mid-South after only two months.

-JR gets words from Duggan who says he’s been thinking about Krusher every day of his life since that humiliating loss on Christmas night. He wants revenge, and he wants a coal miner’s glove match.

MAGNUM T.A. vs. “Nature Boy” BUDDY LANDELL

-Magnum leapfrogs and slams Landell. Landell fights back with knees and forearms. Irish whip by Landell, but he runs into a boot, and the belly-to-belly finishes clean as a sheet. Bill declares that Magnum’s #1 contender for the North American Title as a result of the win.

HACKSAW BUTCH REED & MASAO ITO vs. OBIE DAVIS & JOSH STROUD

-Stroud holds his own against Reed but gets overwhelmed by Ito and gets out quickly. Ito unloads with kicks and stomps. Reed tags back in and lariats the hell out of Davis. Legdrop looks like it could finish, but Reed just wants to press slam him just to be a bastard. Ito finishes with one big chop off the ropes.

-Bill Watts says there’s some extra time left in the hour, so as a personal favor, he asks the director to cue up the tape of the Midnight Express segment just for the pleasure of watching Cornette get embarassed again. So we watch Cornette go into the cake again, and we cut back to ringside, where Jim Ross is verbally ambushed by Cornette, who still has cake in his hair. Cornette threatens lawsuits to Bill Watts, the director, Mid-South, AND Jim Ross for playing that tape again without permission.

-So Bill Watts puts on his President of Mid-South hat and goes to ringside to assume full responsibility for replaying the segment and cheerfully encourages Cornette’s mom’s attorney to call him. Jim Cornette fires back with a retort for every mean thing that Bill Watts has said about him on commentary for the past few months, and Cornette threatens to buy Mid-South Wrestling with his mom’s money and demote Watts to janitor, AND appoint his geeky son to sell Midnight Express t-shirts, punctuating the point by jamming his finger into Watts’ chest over and over again. And suddenly, Cornette’s act isn’t so funny to Watts anymore. Watts warns him never to mention his family again, and certainly Cornette had better never touch Watts again So Cornette tries to call the bluff and grabs Watts by the shoulder, and Watts slaps Cornette hard enough to send him flying, and Cornette can’t even stand back up. And that’s how we end the show, and Boyd Pierce treats it as a miracle that Cornette is still alive as he signs off.

7.6
The final score: review Good
The 411
Holy crap, this show...
legend

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Mid-South Wrestling, Adam Nedeff