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Mid-South Wrestling (3.31.1984) Review

December 2, 2020 | Posted by Adam Nedeff
Mid-South Wrestling 3-31-1984 Bill Watts Jim Ross
6.5
The 411 Rating
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Mid-South Wrestling (3.31.1984) Review  

-Jim Ross is doing the local TV promo now, so times are a-changing.

-Originally aired March 31, 1984.

-Your hosts are Jim Ross and Jim Cornette. JR announces a simple solution to the TV Title dilemma, they’re just having the match over again, and then the finals will be in two weeks. And from there, JR decides to show the Midnight Express victory party and Bill Watts’ slap all over again, much to Cornette’s frustration. And then Cornette insists on “equal time” so we re-watch the Midnight Express assaulting Watts the following week.

-We get pre-taped words from Bill Watts, who says that he retired by choice, not by necessity. He can still take a punch, and he can still bust heads. Watts admits that he has a problem with getting back at Cornette because how do you do it? You can’t fine him–Mommy will pay it for him. You can’t beat him up–Watts can obviously beat him up, so beating him up proves nothing. Watts declares that he wants to come out of retirement for one more match against the Midnight Express, with the provision that if he wins, he can humiliate Cornette somehow, just so Cornette will feel shame.

-But hey, doesn’t that mean that Watts needs a tag team partner? Yeah, I guess he needs a partner…

-So we go on the road to a farm where Junkyard Dog is lifting weights to stay in shape while he runs out his 90-day suspension. Watts asks JYD to be his partner, but JYD points out that legally he can’t really team up. Watts tries to guilt him to reminding him of all the favors he’s done, but JYD reiterates that his hands are tied–he can’t wrestle for 90 days. Watts reluctantly accepts Dog’s apology and starts to leave, but JYD stops him and says he just realized he thought of somebody who could be Watts’ partner for a fight. It’s a good angle on this but production is awful. It’s a windy day outside and there’s no windscreen on JR’s mic so it’s really unpleasant to listen to this.

-JYD agrees to set up a meeting between Jim Ross and Stagger Lee, as an airplane flies directly over them and nobody there seems to realize that you can just pause for 45 seconds and then start talking again. Bill Watts can’t come because Stagger Lee doesn’t trust him, and Jim Ross can come as long as he wears a blindfold so he doesn’t actually know WHERE Stagger Lee lives. So JR and the cameraman, who I presume is also blindfolded, go to an abandoned car, where Stagger Lee is waiting. He demands a good payday for the match, and JR assures him that Watts is good for the money, so Stagger Lee gives his word that he’ll come back to be his partner.

-We get highlight reels of Stagger Lee and Bill Watts, with Watts’ highlights coming from footage that’s now presumably lost from NWA Tri-State.

-And we go back to ringside where Watts announces the stipulations for the Last Stampede matches that he’s signing. Cornette will have to wear his mother’s dress for one match. For another, he’ll have to wear a diaper and drink from a baby bottle. For another, he’ll have to wear a diaper and suck on a pacifier.

MR WRESTLING II (North American Champion) vs. MIKE JACKSON

-Mr. Wrestling II makes the earth-shattering announcement that he’s renouncing the “II” in his name and that he’s always been number one. Therefore, Mr. Wrestling II is now just Mr. Wrestling.

-But before we even have time to process that, Magnum TA shows up and tells Mike Jackson to go the hell back to the locker room and demands a fight with Mr. Wrestling right now. Mr. Wrestling looks for every possible excuse, and Magnum throws something back in his face by reminding him of a lesson that he learned…and he illustrates that lesson by slapping Mr. Wrestling across the face.

-Old Mister grasps for an excuse before coming up with “The champion must face only who he’s signed to wrestle” and just leaves. So…no match.

HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN vs. NIKOLAI VOLKOFF
-And with 11 minutes remaining in the show, we finally have a match, as Duggan hits the ring and both of these guys want each other’s heads, so they go right on the offensive, but it doesn’t last long, as Krusher Kruschev hits the ring, and he has a new friend with him, a mysterious new Russian. Well, he don’t know for sure but he has a hammer and sickle on his mask so one would assume he’s Russian. Rock & Roll Express come to the ring to aid with the brawl. Butch Reed comes to ringside too, and Terry Taylor comes to the ring and just fires him into the post, which you might recall happened with Buddy Landell a few weeks ago, so I think we know where this is going.

TV TITLE TOURNAMENT, SEMI-FINAL: TERRY TAYLOR vs. HACKSAW BUTCH REED

-Butch Reed comes out with his arm in a sling and declares he’s in no condition to wrestle and insists that the match be held next week. Boyd Pierce actually puts on his bossy pants and tells Reed to either wrestle the match or forfeit, and then Reed takes his arm out of the sling and reveals he’s wearing a coal miner’s glove, and he hits Taylor in the stomach so hard that he starts foaming at the mouth. The fans are HORRIFIED!

MASAO ITO vs> LARRY SANTANA

-Kicks by Ito, and a piledriver. A big chop puts Santana away.

6.5
The final score: review Average
The 411
Hard week to judge because I liked the angles but HAAAAAATED the production and the odd 30-second-match Vince Russo nightmare booking in the arena.
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Mid-South Wrestling, Adam Nedeff