The Name on the Marquee: NWA World Championship Wrestling (11.7.1987)

-Cold open: Road Warriors enter the ring to the finest wuss rock that WWE Network’s stock music collection could poop out. “See the Road Warriors at an Arena Near You!” because their attempt to squeeze Vince for a million bucks backfired and they’re here for a little bit longer.

-Originally aired November 7, 1987.

-Your hosts are Tony Schiavone & David Crockett. Ricky Santana strolls in wearing a nice suit and predicts Dusty Rhodes and Ron Garvin are going over at Starrcade.

NEW BREED vs REX KING & ROBBIE IDOL
-Chris Champion blocks an attempted monkeyflip and headbutts King. Sean Royal tackles King from the top rope and David already needs a cigarette after that spot. Idol tags in and David tops himself by yelling “NEW MEAT!” at the fresh jobber. I believe “New Meat” was actually the porn parody version of New Breed.

-Royal hiptosses and armdrags him. He works the arm for a bit, then clotheslines him and sends him to the concrete. Champion comes off the top rope with a plaster cast axehandle, and wrestling logic says the jobber should be dead after that. Royal suplexes him back in and in comes Champion. Idol still has some fight left in him, but Champion uses the cast again for a clothesline.

-Royal works the leg as this is turning into the classic WTBS too-long squash, but thankfully they wrap it up with the suplex/bodypress combo moments later.

-Ric Flair is pissed off about “the minority” coming out a few minutes ago to announce that Ron Garvin’s gonna win. Also, it’s insulting that two guys like the New Breed can put on some boots and borrowed underwear from their moms and think it makes them wrestlers. Flair’s wearing an uncharacteristically ugly outfit this week, gray pinstripe suit, black sweater, blue shirt, red tie.

KEVIN SULLIVAN vs DAVID ISLEY
-Sullivan hangs the jobber upside-down in the corner, and so much blood rushes to Isley’s head that he forgets to straighten his leg and free himself, so Sullivan just charges right into him. Sullivan chops him and takes him to the mat as the commentators begin foreshadowing the heel turn, noting that the fans seem to like Kevin, but his behavior is just so hard to predict.

-Chinlock by Sullivan and a punch right between the eyes. Hands of flint, I guess. Double stomp to the gut finishes.

-Dusty montage.

STARRCADE ’87: CHI-TOWN HEAT: GLORY BOUND REPORT
-So, we’ve tacked a second subtitle onto the show for some reason. Tony runs down the card…and that’s it. Oh…these had been surprisingly eventful segments until now.

STING vs TOMMY ANGEL
-Lock-ups go nowhere so Sting just goes to clobbering and connects with a kneelift. Body vice by Sting, but he can’t hang onto it. Sting applies a Boston crab, but Angel refuses to submit and Sting pontificates what may have happened if he had crossed the legs before applying that move and puts that on his to-do list.

-David predicts that Nikita is gonna “mess with that preppy” at Starrcade while Sting attacks the face vigorously. Fan begs him to kick the jobber in the face. Sting opts for the Stinger splash instead to finish it.

-Jim Cornette gets topical, introducing his tag team as “Parts 2 and 3 of the Jessica Hahn Story.”

MIDNIGHT EXPRESS (US Tag Team Champions, with Jim Cornette & Big Bubba Rogers) vs JOE LYNN & BOB EMORY
-Beautiful Bobby works each jobber’s arm and Stan kicks down Emory. Drop toehold/legdrop combo by the Express, and a big right hand by Bobby. Bobby demands the jobbers make a tag. Eaton brings the jobber out to the floor and Cornette holds up the microphone to him so the audience can hear agonized groaning in stereo.

-Flying elbow by Eaton, and again the Express demands fresh jobber. Lane rubs Lynn’s face into the mat…at least I think it’s Lynn, I’m about 99% sure the commentators don’t know which jobber is which. Rocket launcher on somebody gets the three-count.

-Jim Cornette says the Rock & Roll Express won’t fall off the scaffold at Starrcade…they’ll get pushed.

-Ric Flair montage.

RON GARVIN (Blank Nameplate Heavyweight Champion) vs ALAN MARTIN
-Garvin backs Martin into the corner, then grabs his leg and jerks him forward into his back. Chops and headbutts by Garvin. Garvin stomp finishes. Noticing a change in Garvin’s style lately, as his offense is getting much more basic and he’s not doing any of the twisting & turning holds that he always favored.

-Nikita Koloff says Terry Taylor can talk all he wants, but the talking ends at Starrcade.

-Lex Luger says the NWA is on the way to New York, and the Big Apple will be excited when they see Dusty Rhodes. W…what? Luger gives Dusty a sneak-preview of Starrcade, lying on the mat and looking up at the lights. Lex is calling it a sneak preview for Dusty, and Lex himself is lying on the mat. It brings to mind the Seinfeld episode with Kramer’s mailman mannequin. “Wait, shouldn’t YOU be wearing the bucket?”

HIRO MATSUDA (with JJ Dillon) vs ROCKY KING
-Hiro chops Rocky down and chokes away. Sleeper is clamped on and King goes down right away, without getting his usual burst of offense.

-Kevin Sullivan keeps up his hard selling for Starrcade. Sullivan predicts that in the year 3000, wrestling fans will still be talking about Dusty Rhodes. I dunno, I’ve seen wrestling in the year 3000, and the fans seem pretty focused on the feud between The Foreigner and Gender Bender.

RICKY SANTANA vs RICK RYDER
-Santana works the arm for a spell until Ryder elbows free. And then Santana works his arm again. So there’s that. Double underhook suplex…okay, hold on, David is announcing a special promotion upcoming for NWA female fans. If your birthday is coming up, he and Tony will send you free roses. “21! That means those girls are WOMEN now!” And not even Ricky Santana’s impressive pinfall-scoring flying bodypress can top that excitement from David.

-Sting declares that he has a temperature of 104 degrees, probably because his pores can’t breath under that face paint. Sting is so wired here that Tony can’t keep it together, and he signals for a commercial silently to end the segment.

NWA TV TITLE: NIKITA KOLOFF (Champion) vs GLADIATOR #1
-Gladiator with a flurry of kicks early on, but Nikita reverses an Irish whip and Gladiator gets the hell out of the ring to avoid the sickle. Nikita pounds him down and Gladiator doesn’t get lucky the second time, as Koloff makes contact with the sickle and finishes in about a minute.

-Ron Garvin will be signing autographs tomorrow at the Omni! Ron again takes a moment to remind us that he drives a truck.

KENDALL WINDHAM vs THUNDERFOOT #2
-Bodypress by Kendall gets a two-count, because even 30 pounds can knock the wind out of you for two seconds when it connects with that kind of force. Slam and a dropkick by Kendall. He takes Thunderfoot to the mat for a side headlock. Thunderfoot turns it into a top wristlock and yanks Kendall down by the hair for two. Kendall fights back with a dropkick for two. Hiptoss and another dropkick by Windham, and the bulldog gets three. I feel bad for Kendall because even at this stage it was clear that he was in a shadow that he was absolutely NEVER going to escape from, but he stuck with this anyway.

MICHAEL P.S. HAYES & GORGEOUS JIMMY GARVIN (with Precious) vs CURTIS THOMPSON & TONY SUBER
-Garvin slams Thompson and stomps him. Arm wringers are traded and Garvin tags back in. Thompson looks like he was assembled from leftover pieces of the Mod Squad. Suber tags in and Garvin tags him down to the mat immediately, targeting the lower body to keep him on the mat. Suber is one of those jobbers who kind of surprises me in that they didn’t attempt to find something for him. Brainbuster by Garvin gets the win.

-Hayes and Garvin are ready for Starrcade!

DICK MURDOCH vs BOB COOK
-Murdoch has extra crazy in his eyes this week. Cook with a series of armdrags that surprises Murdoch. Murdoch takes him down and applies a chinlock. Cook counters with headscissors. Murdoch gets out with a knee and hammers Cook down. Cook rallies and gives Murdoch a hard punch to the side of the head, and Murdoch asks for a breather.

-Jobber is gullible enough to give Murdoch a rest when he asks for one and Murdoch bites him and sends him out to the concrete. Murdoch with the federally-mandated biel throw into the commentary podium. Chairshot by Murdoch is met with absolutely no consequences by the referee, and the brainbuster ends it.

-Dick Murdoch reminds us that nobody in the NWA wears earrings! Murdoch says that he helped Barry Windham get a full ride at West Texas State, and now he regrets it because Barry just makes a clown out of himself every week.

-New Breed does a really impressive impression of the Sheepherders.

LUKE WILLIAMS & JOHNNY ACE vs GARY PHELPS & ERIC LONG
-Sheepherders are now the UWF Tag Team Champions (and they’d retire the belts). But for some reason, Butch has the night off. Battering ram and double stomachbreaker finish in under a minute.

5.7

The final score: review Not So Good

The 411

Same issue I'm having over in the WWF with the build to Survivor Series. They've told as much of these stories as they're going to tell and it just feels like they have nothing left to do until Starrcade happens.