The Name on the Marquee: NWA World Championship Wrestling (2.6.1988)

-Cold open: OMG, the Road Warriors are lifting barbells! I’m gonna bust a nut!

-Originally aired February 6, 1988.

-Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, David Crockett, & Jim Ross. JR promises we’ll be seeing the weightlifting contest “at length” later in the show. I have no doubt.

LARRY ZBYSZKO (Western States Heritage Champion, with Baby Doll) vs LARRY STEPHENS
-Update: Dusty Rhodes still has not spoken publicly about the contents of the envelope.

-Larry Z backs Larry S against the ropes and takes him down and works the arm. Stephens counters with a side headlock and knees him down. Larry fights back with a suplex and applies a chinlock as this match assumes a rather leisurely pace. Barry Windham shows up, gives Larry a frownin’, and walks off without doing anything. I’m sure this is building to a promo where someone rattles off a clumsy list of cities where rematches will happen, followed immediately by mentioning another opponent and a list of different cities. Neckbreaker gives Larry Z the win.

-David Crockett talks to Larry, who says he’s the gun and Baby Doll is the ammunition. They’re gunning for Dusty Rhodes.

STING vs DAVID ISLEY
-Sting has entrance music now, and it sounds like the official soundtrack of smoking in a large van in 1973.

-Isley throws punches, Sting no-sells every one of them and slams Isley into position for a series of splashes. Stinger splash and the scorpion deathlock finishes it.

-David Crockett talks to Sting, who says “You can call me Sting, you can call me Stinger, you can call me every man’s nightmare, you can call me party crasher.” No word on whether or not you has to call him Johnson.

-Next, David welcomes “the man who taught Ric Flair everything he knows,” Ole Anderson. For anyone keeping track, Ole is now referring to Arn as his brother. Ole is bringing his son to the cage match in the Omni and might bring him into the ring after the bout to pick the Horsemen’s bones clean.

TIM HORNER vs GLADIATOR #1
-Horner takes Gladiator down and they trade hammerlocks. Fireman’s carry takedown by Horner and he just throws Gladiator around the ring with slams and armdrags. JR says something on commentary that sounds almost like Simpsons dialogue: “The Lightning Express will defend the red, white and blue when they face the Sheepherders…Of course, if you know geography, I guess the New Zealand flag is also red, white, and blue.”

-Horner works the arm and atomic drops Gladiator and the match continues well past the expiration date. Natural bridge finally ends it.

-We go to Greensboro for the $50,000 bench press contest pitting the Road Warriors against Warlord & Barbarian. We start with a 475-pound lift…and then a 500-pound lift, but the Road Warriors fire a shot at the WWF by calling the slow build a huge waste of time and demanding a boost to 600 pounds. Paul Jones tells Paul Ellering that he’s running the contest, they’re staying with 500, and Ellering should just go back to his corner and pray. Ellering slaps Jones across the face and we move onto the 600-pound lift as requested, but Koloff blinds the Road Warriors with a tub of powder and Paul Jones’ men destroy then, injuring Animal’s eye. Animal has to be taken out on a stretcher, a shocking scene for the seemingly immortal Warriors.

-In the studio, Paul Jones is all smiles and as a result of the decisive beatdown his men gave the Road Warriors, he declares that from now on, they will be known as…The Powers of Pain. Ta-daa! Everyone’s mad at him for allegedly welching on the $50,000 bet, and Paul suggests a ladder match with the $50,000 suspended above the ring.

DICK MURDOCH (with Jim Cornette) vs BOB EMORY
-Emory applies a side headlock and manages to take Murdoch down. Murdoch is keeping this pretty scientific despite the concerns from the commentators that he’s going to go nuts here. Emory keeps the side headlock clamped on until Murdoch finally escapes and brings him out to the concrete. Emory gets dumped into the commentary podium and wrecks it, and Murdoch picks up pieces of wood and clubs Emory with them. Elbow finishes.

-Jim Cornette warns Misty Blue that for the money his mama is paying, Dick Murdoch will hit a woman. A personal friend of the Cornette family, Richard Simmons, has been training him for the upcoming 8-person tag, which includes Dusty Rhodes. Cornette shows how strong he is by lifting part of the broken podium.

ARN ANDERSON & TULLY BLANCHARD (World Tag Team Champions, with JJ Dillon) vs MAX MCGYVER & JOHN SAVAGE
-Tully knees Savage and brings Arn in to work him over. McGyver comes in and falls victim to the gourdbuster in short order to end it.

-Arn reminds us that the Horsemen are the best in the world at one thing, and it’s not making commercials!

ITALIAN STALLION vs GENE LIGON
-Stallion snapmares Ligon into an armbar and stays with the arm for a while. And that’s pretty much all that happens. Like really, this is a five-minute armbar. Stallion stays on the mat and ties Ligon up as this match just goes ON. Ligon finally throws punches and snapmares Stallion to give me something to type. Ligon hits the ropes and charges but Stallion catches him in midair and turns it into what’s basically a powerbomb, and a powerslam by Stallion ends it.

-Ric Flair and JJ Dillon are here. JJ basically calls Sting a dog chasing a car and warns Sting that he hasn’t considered what might happen if he actually catches it. Ric Flair cuts a long, looooooong promo, and the gist of it is he’s the best. Even better than Dusty Rhodes.

LEX LUGER & BARRY WINDHAM vs TONY SUBER & BOB RIDDLE
-Suber slams Windham. Barry slams back and Lex axehandles him down as JR suggests calling this new unit “The Total Team.” Riddle gets armdragged and Windham puts him away with the flying lariat.

-David Crockett talks to Lex and Barry and gives them a name of his own, “The Twin Towers.” Better start eating, guys! Lex says that if they need to face the Horsemen in a 6-man match, they’ll turn to Dusty Rhodes for help.

-Paul Ellering and Hawk are here. Paul blames himself for what happened to Animal, saying it should have been obvious Paul Jones was plotting something when he suddenly demanded a weightlifting contest out of nowhere. He warns Paul Jones that the Road Warriors are coming for his men…and they’ll be bringing their friend Dusty Rhodes for help.

VARSITY CLUB (with Kevin Sullivan) vs ANDREW BELLAMY & DAVE SPEARMAN
-Rick Steiner starts with a German suplex on Bellamy. Spearman tags in and the Club takes turns slamming him. Belly-to-belly by Steiner and he applies a sugar hold…for the submission. Holy damn, take that, Ron Garvin.

-Kevin Sullivan describes his training regimen for the Varsity Club, giving them spikes and taking them to a garbage dump for rat-hunting. Mike Rotundo says they murdered those rats like Syracuse murdered Michigan in basketball, and Sullivan has to break up a shoving match between his men.

“The Games Master” KEVIN SULLIVAN (with Varsity Club) vs RYAN WAGNER
-Sullivan boots Wagner out to the floor and just launches a steel chair at his head. Back in, Sullivan uses the tree of woe and drives a knee into Wagner’s face. Sullivan shoves Teddy Long down and the Varsity Club gangs up on Wagner, getting Sullivan DQed and kicking off the legendary Ryan Wagner push that consisted only of this match.

-Sting re-emerges and “wants to party!” Ric Flair storms out and calls Sting a punk whose mom and dad were too stupid to give him a real name. He boops Sting on the nose and makes fun of his name, which triggers a big brawl. Sting press slams Flair and suddenly the champ is cowering in the corner and begging for mercy. Sting beats on Flair until the Horsemen attack, but that brings out Lex and Barry to help their new pal Sting, and the Horsemen are running scared. Commentators collectively refer to the three faces in the ring as “The Young Lions,” so it sounds like they were kicking around a babyface anti-Horsemen faction. Or maybe I’m just reading into that too much.

MIDNIGHT EXPRESS (US Tag Team Champions, with Jim Cornette) vs ALAN MARTIN & MIKE JACKSON
-Cornette says his men will accept a match against the Lightning Express any time, because he’s tired of Tim Horner and Brad Armstrong stealing his team’s name…and also his fax machine.
-Eaton rams Martin into the turnbuckle and Stan Lane lights into him with kicks. Clothesline by Lane. Martin fights back with right hands but Lane stops the comeback with a back suplex, and the double goozle finishes.

-Cornette and his men are coming for Misty Blue! Wait, that didn’t sound right…

6.0

The final score: review Average

The 411

Well, they managed to pivot the Sting/Flair feud to make Flair the jerk, so that was good progress. And the weightlifting challenge at least went somewhere.