wrestling / Video Reviews

The Name on the Marquee: NWA World Championship Wrestling (5.2.1987)

November 8, 2017 | Posted by Adam Nedeff
NWA World Championship Wrestling
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The Name on the Marquee: NWA World Championship Wrestling (5.2.1987)  

-Originally aired May 2, 1987.

-Cold open: The New Breed promises to futuristically disintegrate the Armstrongs.

-Your hosts are Tony Schiavone & David Crockett. Viewing ahead to a future where the previous week’s episode isn’t available on some sort of internet Network, they helpfully inform us that Ron Garvin & Barry Windham advanced in the US Tag Team Title tournament.

JIMMY VALIANT & LAZER TRON vs RANDY BARBER & ALAN MARTIN
-Old dirty hippy and a faceless cartoon character versus two goons with bad haircuts. Every indy show that ever had fewer than 75 people in attendance has had a pre-intermission match that looks like this. Valiant dazes Barber with the shittiest looking love tap this side of a sassy co-worker. Suplex by Lazer as the fans chant “Beat him up, Lazer!” David Crockett’s reaction to this is hilarious. “They’re behind him!” and he sounds genuinely amazed by it. Big shitty elbow by Valiant gets three.

-Nikita throws out challenges to Ivan Koloff, Lex Luger, and Dick Murdoch. Hearing Nikita repeatedly call his uncle “Ivan Koloff” is a bit weird.

LEX LUGER (with JJ Dillon) vs JEFF BELK
-I’m a little surprised that we’re this deep into Luger’s run and the commentators still can’t decide if he’s the Total Package or the Complete Package. Belk actually looks like he was hired to be a stunt double for Luger and on look alone I’m surprised he didn’t go anywhere.

-Lock-up goes to a stalemate. Side headlock by Luger is countered with a headscissor. Luger goes to a hammerlock and Belk nearly runs over Teddy Long going to the ropes to break it. Slam by Luger. Belk fights back with punches, but Luger stops him with a suplex. He sends Belk into the ropes and tries a powerslam, but Belk doesn’t get into the air properly and Luger doesn’t catch him properly, so Luger thinks quickly and turns it into a backbreaker. He lifts Belk for the torture rack, but Belk sandbags the fuck out of him and Luger stumbles forward and drops him into the ropes, and just decides to pin him off that. Belk protects himself by kicking out at three. I think I just figured out why Belk didn’t go anywhere on look alone.

-And without any kind of heads-up, here’s a pre-taped interview with Dusty Rhodes and Willie Nelson, so it must be time to start pimping the Great American Bash. And then they fade to black without mentioning the Bash, so, yep, it’s just Dusty talking about being friends with Willie Nelson.

-Ron Garvin is here with a crying towel for Jim Cornette. Garvin tells us that he doesn’t have a soft spart in his part for Cornette. Cornette comes out and goads Garvin into a fight, which brings out the Midnight Express for a 3-on-1 asskicking, which brings out Barry Windham to even things up. AWESOME visual, as the five of them destroy the commentary area during the brawl, with Cornette getting knocked through the table and collapsing it and the World Championship Wrestling logo getting ripped out of the window. Ehh, that logo was a year out of date anyway. And David Crockett is just marking the hell out for the destruction of the set. I know it’s cool to knock this guy, but I just love the fact that David got into the business by birthright, but he’s clearly a mark for it anyway and he’d obviously be a fan if he never worked in it a day in his life.

U.S. TAG TEAM TITLE TOURNAMENT: BOB & BRAD ARMSTRONG vs THE NEW BREED
-Sean Royal armdrags Brad and hiptosses him with a little hair for the assist. Brad comes to life with his own hiptosses, and a dropkick clears the ring.

-Bob tags in and goes to work on the arm. Chris Champion tags in and gets caught in an armbar, and blames Tony Schiavone for the trouble they’re having. These guys kind of remind me of Repo Man, they’ve been handed a loser gimmick for a heel, but they go so far over the top with it that it gets hard to hate them after a while.

-Brad works Royal’s arm. Royal gets free with a hiptoss and a dropkick. Armstrong applies an armbar with both hands completely visible while Royal complains to the referee that his hair is being pulled.

-We return from commercial with Brad still working the arm. Chris Champion offers a kneelift from the apron to turn the tide, then tags in and goes to work on Brad. Champion stays laser-focused on the back and connects with an awesome dropkick, declaring that he’s sending a message to Tony Schiavone.

-New Breed keeps working the back. They attempt a Hart Attack, of all moves, but that doesn’t finish Brad off. Sean Royal tries a corner charge. Brad dodges and Sean crashes with a GLORIOUS oversell of it. Brad goes for the hot tag, but Sean grabs him and carries him to the opposite side of the ring to toss him to the concrete. Champion attacks on the floor and that looks to be it, but Brad survives the onslaught. Front facelock by Sean, and we get a false tag behind the referee’s back. New Breed double-teams while Bob argues with the referee.

-With less than two minutes remaining, hot tag is made to Bullet Bob and he cleans house, and it’s a pier sixer right up until the bell sounds for the time limit draw. New Breed attacks from behind and clears the ring for the moral victory.

-And now, it’s a Ric Flair montage.

NIKITA KOLOFF vs THUNDERFOOT
-Thunderfoot clubbers a little bit but Nikita shrugs him off. Thunderfoot loads the boot, but Nikita catches the foot in mid-air and just sickles his head off.

-An unemployed porn director who turns out to be Paul Jones comes out for an interview to hype the Eddie Graham Memorial Event in Florida. Jones basically cuts a babyface promo to hype this, which is bizarre.

TIM HORNER & BARON VON RASCHKE vs BRODY CHASE & CLEMENT FIELDS
-I guess just any scowly old guy will do for Tim Horner. Baron works the arm of Brody Chase. Horner catches him coming off the ropes with a tilt-a-whirl for two. Baron goes back to the arm. Clement Fields tags in and Baron hammers him down. Atomic drop by Baron, and Horner finishes with the natural bridge. “White Lightning is his name and you know why!” proclaims David. Because he’s white, I guess.

-JJ Dillon brags about all the amazing sex that the Four Horsemen had at the hotel last night. Luger warns everyone to prepare for a summer of domination by the Horsemen.

VLADIMIR PETROV & IVAN KOLOFF vs JEFF SAMPSON & COUGAR JAY
-Ivan rams Sampson against the ropes, but gets caught in a powerslam. Vladimir tags in and takes control with an elbow. Cougar Jay tags in and tries for a dropkick, but Ivan dodges and Vladimir adds a walking powerslam. Sickle finishes.

-Russians warn Nikita that he’ll be carried out of the ring after the Russian chain match.

MIDNIGHT EXPRESS (with Jim Cornette) vs BILL TABB & LARRY CLARKE
-Midnights clear Bill Tabb out of the ring right away and Bobby Eaton zooms to the top rope for a kneedrop on Larry Clarke. Midnights schoolboy Clarke with a clothesline to get three.

-Cornette has a lot of bragging to do this week. Mama had a stake in every horse in the Kentucky Derby this year, General Skandor Akbar is pleased with Bubba’s performance, and he actually got a fan letter this week. This cage match is FINALLY happening next week.

-Ric Flair is here, proclaiming that he can’t be a bad guy if the fans cheer for him. He still wants a night with Precious.

ROAD WARRIORS (with Paul Ellering) vs. DAVID ISLEY & MIKE FORCE
-Doomsday Device finishes in about 10 seconds.

-Tony talks to the Warriors. Animal warns derr that herr derr, hadda buh!

RON GARVIN vs LARRY STEVENS
-Garvin hammers Stevens down and ties him up. Hands of stone finish right away.

-Tully and JJ are here with Tully’s prize money now stashed in a metal briefcase. Dusty and the Road Warriors are white trash, the Horsemen were simply born better.

GORGEOUS JIMMY GARVIN (with Precious) vs. PAUL GARNER
-Takedown by Garvin and he goes to work on the arm. Brainbuster finishes.

6.5
The final score: review Average
The 411
Only a ninety minute show this week, and honestly, the shorter episodes of this just feel so much better to me, generally. Seven-minute maulings with no jobber offense wear thin after a while. So it was a shorter show and it had a decent feature bout, plus a great brawl. Good show.
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