wrestling / Video Reviews
The Name on the Marquee: World Championship Wrestling (11.26.1988)
Image Credit: WWE
Loading...-Cold open: Sting charges the ring and tries to take on the Road Warriors and Paul Ellering by himself, and the ring gradually fills up with humanity.
-Originally aired November 26, 1988.
-Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, David Crockett, and Jim Ross.
“Hot Stuff” EDDIE GILBERT & RON SIMMONS vs. TRENT KNIGHT & BOB EMORY
-All sorts of insane stuff to cover here. First, there’s some really obvious edits as Eddie and Ron walk to the ring. Second, their entrance music keeps playing and playing and playing, well into the match. Third, their music is apparently being dubbed over the tape because there is no other sound here. Fourth, JR is cut-off in mid-sentence by a heads-in-box promo from Ron & Eddie. The gist of the promo is that the Sheepherders recently got a win in the US Tag Team Title tournament by using a foreign object, but the NWA overturned the referee’s decision and now Eddie and Ron have advanced to the finals. My gut reaction to this is that the Sheepherders didn’t give them ANY notice and they ended up having a busy night in post-production as a result.
-Eddie works Knights arm, Simmons works the arm while JR hypes the Bunkhouse Stampede match at Starrcade, which ended up being a dark match. Eddie and Ron just keeps working the arm until a flying tackle ends it. It doesn’t read like it, but damn this match took three and a half hours.
NIKITA KOLOFF vs. TERRY JONES
-Uncle Ivan sits in for guest commentary. Jones suckers Nikita into chasing him and manages to get the upper hand briefly with lowered knees, but Nikita elbows him down. Nikita just dares Jones to hit him repeatedly and shakes it all off. Jones tries to run away, but Nikita stops him and sickles him for three. And that’s the last time we’re going to see Nikita for quite a while.
STARRCADE ’88 UPDATE
-The first Bunkhouse Stampede match will be held to kick off a big month of them in the NWA. Midnights vs. Midnights in tag team action. Koloffs vs. Assassins (cardsubjecttochange) and Paul Jones must retire if the Assassins lose. Mike Rotunda defends the TV Title against Rick Steiner. And in the main event, Ric Flair defends the NWA Title against Lex Luger. Next week, we’ll have news on a stipulation being negotiated for the match.
STING & LEX LUGER vs. BRIAN ADAMS & JERRY PRICE
-Surprisingly not THAT Brian Adams. This one looks like they went out to the sidewalk, pointed to the first guy they saw, and yelled “Wanna be on TV?” He’s not even in wrestling gear, he’s wearing black pants and a tank top. Sting works the arm and bites Price, which he calls “technical wrestling.” Adams tags in and gets knocked around while JR namedrops Joe Paterno and makes this feel weird forever. Torture rack by Luger finishes things.
-David Crockett has words with Lex Luger and Steroid Jim Carrey. They declare themselves BFFs and warn the Road Warriors that while the Warriors may have kicked their butts, they didn’t finish the job.
THE COMMANDOS vs. MULKEY & EDDIE SWEAT
-The Commandos are two 400-pounders in camouflage shirts and pants, and judging from their names, that’s probably all they’re wearing. Commando Boone throws Mulkey out to the floor and he lands with a THUMP. Commando Ray (Ray Candy) posts him and JR aptly says that Mulkey sticks to the post like he’s made of velcro. Sweat comes in and takes his turn. Mulkey comes back in to take a double splash, and the Commandos end this thing not a moment too soon because visible butt sweat was accumulating on Commando Ray. Dusty must not have explained mufflers to him.
-Ric Flair explains the necessary qualifications for being the man, and Lex Luger can’t do that. He also assures us that the NWA World Title belt is THE belt, no matter what we read or what other “make-believe” we see on TV.
-Barry Windham and JJ Dillon are here, and JJ rages that the NWA and an army of lawyers are trying to screw with title matches for both of his men.
BAM-BAM BIGELOW (with Sir Oliver Humperdink) vs. KEITH STEINBORN
-Snap suplex and a big elbow by Bam-Bam. He continues to take his sweet time in classic TBS squash fashion until he finally gets as tired of it as everyone else and hits the gourdbuster to finish.
-Bam-Bam tells us that everybody knows that NWA title belts are the most prestigious belts in wrestling. Okay, what comment got everybody pissed off leading up to this week’s episode?
ORIGINAL MIDNIGHT EXPRESS (with Paul E. Dangerously) vs. BRAD & BRETT HOLIDAY
-Ravishing Randy puts the boots to Brett. Double goozle finishes with ease.
-Paul E. says his boys aren’t the “Original” Midnight Express. They’re the REAL Midnights..the ONLY Midnights.
VARSITY CLUB (with Kevin Sullivan) vs. RICK ANDERSON & MIKE JACKSON
-It’s now Mike Rotunda and Steve Williams. Rotunda starts with Jackson and Jackson gets the better of him to start, then tags in Rick Anderson because, I guess, Mike Jackson just doesn’t want to win, ever. Okay, where are they getting this week’s jobbers from? Anderson is wearing cargo pants. It’s like Old Navy Week in the NWA. Williams gives him a belly-to-back and a German suplex. Anderson ends up on the concrete and Sullivan lays into him. Back in, Williams sends Anderson into the ropes, but he’s so beaten he just falls face-forward onto the mat before he makes it to the ropes, so Williams just drags his dead ass over to Rotunda and lets him get the win with the double underhook.
-Sullivan declares that he traded his Edsel for a Cadillac. See you at Starrcade, Steiner!
-David Crockett talks to the Road Warriors, awwwwwww shit…Hawk says they’re gonna rip some stinkin’ faces off Sting and Lex Luger tonight in Greensboro. Animal has words for Dusty Rhodes, who he’ll be facing on December 7. The Road Warriors became famous by beating legends, and that’s what they’ll be doing again. The Rad Warriors walk off and David Crockett hypes the Clash of the Champions…
-But all of a sudden, Dusty Rhodes shows up and suggests he and Animal just do this thing right now! He heads in the ring to wait, and the Road Warriors return. Dusty gets the upper hand, hey duh, and Hawk interferes. Dusty is overwhelmed, and Animal grabs his shouldepads and unscrews a spike, and sticks it right into Dusty’s eye. I mean, not really, but kudos to Dusty for pinpoint accuracy with his bladejob and to the skillful camerawork, because this is actually really convincing and gross…
-Okay, so remember a few weeks ago when the Original Midnight Express debuted and Jim Cornette bled all over the place? Yeah, TBS–the new owners, mind you–really hated that. So they handed down the word immediately that blood was banned from TV. Oh, also, remember when Jim Crockett got that new office complex in Dallas? Yeah, so the next order of business was TBS looking at exactly WHAT they bought and asking “Why the hell do you guys have an office complex in Dallas?” So Jim Crockett, Dusty, and JJ all got moved out as TBS laid down the law that this was an Atlanta-based company, dammit. So Dusty was REALLY unhappy at this point and decided “Ain’t nobody tell me what to do daddeh!” and decided to do a gross bladejob on TV just to stick it to his bosses. The end result was that after months and months and months of rumbling that Dusty really needed to step down, both on and off camera, TBS finally did what Jim Crockett refused to do and fired Dusty from his post as booker, although the clever turn here was that rather than, say, just bleeding for the hell of it (which wouldn’t have been out of place for Jim Crockett Promotions), Dusty made it a point to bleed all over the place as part of a storyline so at least people would want to see him get his revenge, and therefore his spot as a main eventer was protected.
RICK STEINER vs. JOE CRUZ
-Powerslam by Steiner. He works the arm and snapmares Cruze, then forces Teddy Long on top of Cruz and counts his own three-count. Belly-to-belly by Steiner gets the actual win.
-Rick Steiner says that “Mike Retardo” couldn’t wrestle his way out of a paper bag. And then, Steiner shows Tony the face he’s drawn on his hand and introduces us to his imaginary friend Alex, who gives Tony a kiss. It’s a step up for Tony from Jimmy Valiant, though.
-Jim Cornette: A child would never look at Paul E. and wonder if that’s his daddy, because even if a woman would, he can’t.
MIDNIGHT EXPRESS (with Jim Cornette) vs. RIP MORGAN & MAX MILES
-Morgan, who has been wrestling in cargo pants all these months and therefore would actually blend in with the jobbers this week, is wearing regular tights, and they’re doing the WWF-style “un-personing” where Rip Morgan is just a job guy and that’s all he’s ever been, he was never part of any sort of group, nope, no sir. Sledge-o-Matic by the Midnights finishes off Miles without much trouble.
-Awesome promo from Road Warrior Hawk, who hasn’t bothered washing his hand since we last saw him and it’s covered in Dusty’s dried blood. And then we replay the entire angle, because fuck TBS.
-Paul Jones is screaming because the contract for Starrcade says that the Assassins must unmask AND he himself must retire if they lose.
FANTASTICS vs. CRUEL CONNECTION
-Cruel gets backdropped around, then tags in Connection, who gets caught in a Tommy Rogers hammerlock. DDT by Fulton, and the tower of Quebec finishes.
