wrestling / Video Reviews
The Name on the Marquee: WWF at Los Angeles Sports Arena (7.15.1988)
Image Credit: WWE
Loading...-Originally aired on the Z Channel July 15, 1988.
-Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon, Superstar Billy Graham, and Sean Mooney.
-Interesting thing: Unlike most of the televised house shows, this one actually had a dark match: Iron Sheik vs. Terry Taylor, with Sheik going over via the camel clutch.
BIG BOSS MAN vs. SCOTT CASEY
-Boss Man refuses to take off his badge as the commentators disturb all the not-fit-for-wrestling potential weapons on his ring gear. Looking back, I’m actually kind of surprised that he never removed the strap around his torso and used that to whip somebody.
-Casey dodges Boss Man artfully while the commentators discuss how Slick made contact with a prison guard with wrestling skills to begin with, which leads me once again to share how Time Traveling Adam Nedeff would have introduced this guy, with One Man Gang getting arrested for assaulting a cameraman or ring attendant or something or other after a squash match, keep him off TV for a few weeks, and then you introduce the prison guard that Gang hit it off with while he was in the slammer.
-Casey gets sent over the top rope and skins the cat back in, but Boss Man instantly catches him in a backbreaker and gets to work with boots and knees to the lower back. Boss Man applies a bear hug, but Casey claps his hands a few times to break the hold. Boss Man just keeps hammering him and re-applies the bearhug. Gorilla mentions that Casey is looking for a tag team partner, and honestly, given all the nothing they’ve done with Sam Houston and the fact that Casey had cowboy garb in his closet from his territory days, and given that the imminent death of the Killer Bees would have provided an opening, putting Casey in a tag team wouldn’t have been a terrible idea.
-Casey comes back with a series of axehandles and hits the ropes, but Boss Man catches him coming off with the side slam to finish this one up. Boss Man handcuffs him to the ropes and really does a number on him while Billy Graham calls for Jack Tunney’s resignation, since the man just does not have his shit together regarding incidents taking place after matches. 1 for 1. Decent opener, as Casey did his job well and Boss Man gave him just enough shine to keep it interesting.
ROCKERS vs. CONQUISTADORS
-Long-time jobber turned long-time trainer Jesse Hernandez is the referee for this one. Marty Janetty takes down #1 in a side headlock. Conquistadors attempt a double team, but Janetty bodypresses both men and the Rockers take turns getting two-counts until the Conquistadors get frustrated and go to the floor. Back in, all four men brawl, but Rockers clear the ring with dropkicks and then meet them out there with planchas. Jesse Ventura suddenly strolls to the ring, complaining that Superstar Billy Graham stole his spot for this event, but fortunately, they just happen to have a spare headset, so Jesse sits in on commentary for this one.
-Rockers work the arm on #2 while Jesse derides the “pretty boys.” Double elbows by the Rockers while Jesse breaks down point-by-point all the things he dislikes about Sean Mooney in a funny tangent. #2 catches Shawn Michaels with a clothesline and Shawn does his classic bump off that. Conquistadors take turns choking him out, and Shawn takes a hard bump into the corner. Conquistadors double-team him, and a backbreaker by Shawn gets two. Conquistadors switch behind the referee’s back. False tag gives the Conquistadors an opening to maul Shawn a little more. Creative writing exercise to engage in some day: the science behind why it takes 3 minutes to beat the Conquistadors if it’s a syndicated TV taping, but otherwise it takes 15 minutes.
-Shawn finally makes the hot tag. Marty dropkicks #2 to the floor and Shawn comes off the top rope with a fist drop on #1 to get the win, and Jesse is horrified that the Rockers got the win from a move done by the illegal man. 2 for 2. These two teams work well together, although I have to say even this early in their run, you could sense Shawn was playing the long game, as Marty spends a lot of time on the apron and Shawn flies all over the ring showing what he can do.
HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN vs. ANDRE THE GIANT
-Andre’s body is falling apart and this feud offers him an unintentional bit of help, as he’s able to play the difficulty he has climbing he ring stairs as if he’s just being extra cautious about the 2×4. Andre stalls quite a bit. Duggan gives Graham the 2×4 to hang onto it, and Andre doesn’t trust Graham, so the referee makes the ring announcer hang onto it. So Hacksaw is ready to start now that the 2×4 is in good hands, but now The Giant Zbyszko is unhappy about the “Hooo” from the crowd. That ends up being a ploy, as Hacksaw turns his back to egg the crowd on and Andre sneaks up and strangles him.
-Headbutt sends Duggan tumbling to the floor. Back in, Andre chokes him some more and gives him a hard chop to the floor. Back in, Andre applies a standing chinlock, but uses the strap of the singlet to turn it into another choke. Andre butt-rams Hacksaw against the corner, and in light of the stories we’ve heard in years since, it seems extremely likely that Andre is farting on Duggan while doing this. Hacksaw slips through the Giant’s legs so that he hits the corner and hurts himself, and Duggan makes a minor comeback before Andre goes to the bearhug. Duggan throws everything he has at Andre and finally just bites him on the nose to break the hold.
-Three point stance looks to finish, but Andre’s too close to the corner, so he slumps over in the corner instead of hitting the mat. Hacksaw tries another three-point stance, and this time Andre hits the mat, but Hacksaw is so elated that it worked that he pretty much forgets to actually go for the pin, so Andre recovers. Andre goes to the corner and suckers Hacksaw into trying ANOTHER three-point stance, and now Andre raises the boot, Duggan collapses, and Andre pins him with both feet on the ropes, just to be sure. Mmm…Duggan kind of asked for that one. 3 for 3. Understandably, this was a pretty slow match, but what gets me is the way Andre was able to work around his own limitations and still deliver something that had some suspense and excitement to it. No, it wasn’t a great match, but you know what? It definitely wasn’t a bad one, either.
-Jerry “The Logo” West is in attendance tonight.
-Sean Mooney talks to Jake Roberts. He’s ready for Rick Rude later tonight.
-We get a rebuttal from Rick Rude. Rude says that Cheryl Roberts wants a piece of him, and so does Sean Mooney’s wife.
LOSER WEARS A WEASEL SUIT: ULTIMATE WARRIOR vs. BOBBY “The Brain” HEENAN
-This is the next stop on Bobby Heenan’s tour of paying for his own hubris. Heenan stalls on the floor until Warrior just reaches out there and whips him into the post. Heenan keeps running around the ring and Warrior looks like he knows he’s being suckered into something, so he stops running and lets Heenan do a lap around the ring, so eventually Heenan runs into him and gets a punch in the face.
-Heenan digs the weapon out of his tights and connects with it a few times until Warrior can knock it out of his hands. Warrior whips Heenan around, and the sleeper puts the Brain away. 4 for 4. Heenan does his magnificent sell of waking up in the weasel suit one more time.
JIM “The Anvil” NEIDHART vs. BAD NEWS BROWN
-Neidhart charges to the ring while Bad News is cutting a promo and attacks from behind, dropkicking him and choking him until Bad News retreats to the floor. He eventually gets back in and walks right into a backdrop, and Neidhart keeps him on the mat with a chinlock. Second rope splash misses and Bad News gets to work with right hands. Legdrop by Bad News gets two. Anvil starts mounting a comeback, but Bad News stops him with a clothesline. Bad News grabs Anvil by the goatee and that just pisses Neidhart right off. He lights into Bad News with punches and charges, but Bad News gets out of the way and Anvil goes flying out to the floor. Bad News comes back with punches of his own, so Anvil tries a bearhug.
-Bad News goes to the eyes to free himself, but a fistdrop misses and Anvil makes another big comeback. Anvil tackles him out to the floor and they brawl out there. Anvil gets back into the ring and thinks he won by count-out, but Bad News sneaks up behind him with the ghetto blaster and pins him clean as a sheet. 4 for 5. This went about five minutes too long, and it’s as if someone forgot to give them the signal, because the match was going somewhere for that first six minutes or so and then you could sense them trying to drag it out.
JAKE “The Snake” ROBERTS vs. RAVISHING RICK RUDE
-Snake sneaks up and attacks while Rude takes off his robe and he’s all over Rude with right hands. A stomachbreaker sends Rude out to the floor. Back in, Rude comes to life with forearms, but Snake catches him with a kneelift. He goes for the DDT right away and Rude goes outside. Back in, Rude takes over and applies a chinlock. Snake hangs on, so Rude throws more forearms. Chinlock is reapplied and Rude gets comfy with it. Snake gradually gets to his feet and elbows out, but Rude knocks him right back down as Gorilla anticipates this match may go the one-hour time limit. Good god.
-BACK TO THE CHINLOCK as Gorilla is starting to complain and mentions “a hush has fallen over the crowd.” Snake is supposed to be a master of psychology, but a match that should be a straight-up fight with Roberts fighting for his wife’s honor has been reduced to Rude dominating the fuck out of him with a rest hold. Snake manages to break the hold, but charges at Rude and runs right into a knee. Rude snaps Jake’s neck over the top rope and connects with a fist from the top turnbuckle. CHINLOCK #4. Jake breaks it with a stunner. Rude goes to the top rope again in desperation, but Jake crotches him on the turnbuckle. Jake goes for the DDT but they’re too close to the ropes. Rude’s ass makes a cameo as Jake brings him to the center of the ring for the short clothesline. Jake, forgetting that this is being televised, pantomimes sexual intercourse before going to the DDT again, but Rude grabs the referee’s shirt to screw with Jake’s leverage.
-Rude calls it a night and heads to the locker room, but Jake meets him in the aisle and they fight it out until Rude slips back into the ring to win by count-out. Wow, this is the largest inverse connection I’ve seen between hotness of feud and suckiness of match I’ve seen in quite some time. 4 for 6.
